_________________________

Maybe we'll be together again
Sometime
In another life

_________________________

YEOSANG

LONDON - 3 YEARS AFTER THE PARTY

The sunlight is peeking in through the thin lace curtains, lighting up the neatly cleaned and beautifully decorated living room. Fresh flowers on the table, chandeliers hanging above it, beautiful artwork on the walls; everything looks just as perfect as a page from a décor-magazine.

Yeosang is humming along to a song on the radio while looking through the photos he's spread across the dining table, sorting them out before putting them into photo albums. In front of him lies three years' worth of memories of his life with Taeyong, and he looks through them with a smile on his lips.

A particular photo makes him smile even wider. The one they took together in Venice, the same photo that Yeosang has used as his lock screen on his phone ever since. It's been years since this photo was taken, but Yeosang remembers that day clearer than anything else.

It was the day Taeyong told him he loved him for the very first time.

But the smile on Yeosang's face slowly starts to fade when he thinks about how long it's been since he and Taeyong have had any quality time together. Yeosang has tried to keep himself busy for the last one and a half year, with studies and even a bartender job in hopes that it would distract him from feeling lonely when Taeyong sometimes is out of town for several days in a row due to work.

Yeosang has never said it out loud, but when he's home alone, missing Taeyong so endlessly much, he sometimes wonders if it's even worth it anymore. But when Taeyong comes home, Yeosang forgets it all and falls even deeper in love every time.

He checks the time on his phone and gets up from his seat. Taeyong will be home from a business trip in a few hours and Yeosang wants to make sure that everything is perfect for is return.

✧

Yeosang sighs heavily when he walks into the bedroom. Taeyong's suitcases are still standing right where he left them weeks ago. He hasn't been home much, too busy with work, meetings and big events – things in his life that Yeosang never has been a part of. Never has been allowed to be a part of, because of Taeyong's family. Despite the fact that Taeyong always has been a busy man, Yeosang had hoped he'd at least get to see him a bit more when they moved in together.

But that didn't happen, and lately Taeyong has seemed to be even busier, and he rarely even texts or calls at all.

Yeosang walks back and forth in front of the suitcases before finally deciding on opening them. He unfolds Taeyong's clothes and starts putting it on hangers. It really makes no sense to have a closet as big as they have, if the clothes are just going lie squeezed together in suitcases.

When he pulls out yet another shirt, a small light blue box falls out and lands on the floor.

Tiffany & Co.

His eyes widen up and he just stares at the box. It can't be, can it? Carefully he picks it up and opens it. The most beautiful ring is hidden inside and as soon as the light hits it, it sparkles brighter than the sun.

While staring at the ring in awe, Yeosang feels his heart skip a beat, or maybe even two. Is Taeyong really going to propose to him? Could this be the reason he's been so distant lately, because he is nervous?

But Yeosang doesn't quite understand. They have always had to stay under the radar since Taeyong's family doesn't approve of his gay relationship. This doesn't make sense at all. Yeosang carefully puts the box back into the suitcase and sits down on the bed, just staring out at nothing.

✧

A couple of hours later Taeyong is finally home. He greets Yeosang with a kiss, which reminds Yeosang just how much he has missed him. Other than that Taeyong doesn't say or do much, he must be tired from his long flight.

Yeosang is anxiously walking around the living room while Taeyong is taking a quick shower. What will happen now? Is he really going to propose? Yeosang can't concentrate on one thought and he soon feels dizzy from all the conversations he's having with himself in his head.

Taeyong finally joins him in the living room. His hair is still a little wet and he has pushed it back, the way that still makes Yeosang's knee feel weak. He is wearing an over-sized white t-shirt and jeans which to others would be an unusual, almost outrageous sight as he's always dressed in expensive designer outfits or fancy suits. But to Yeosang it's the most amazing look for Taeyong, comfortable, relaxed and just being himself.

Yeosang doesn't even realize that he is smiling at the sight of his beautiful boyfriend, before he feels the smile fade from his lips. The look on Taeyong's face is very serious and it is making Yeosang feel anxious.

"Yeosang... There's something I need to talk with you about. Could you sit down, please?"

Yeosang nods and sits down on the couch, while Taeyong just walks back and forth in front of him. Something really doesn't feel right...

"Listen. I'm just going to say it as it is. A couple of weeks ago, my family gave me an ultimatum; I have to marry this girl who's the daughter of my father's business partner, or they will cut me off."

"A-are you serious?" Yeosang asks and he feels like his heart stops beating right in that moment.

"You know I've tried everything! But they don't want to accept that I am gay. If I marry this girl, I can keep up the image my family wants. I have been negotiating with them the past few days. If I do this, I can still date you, just not officially of course."

"You... You're not going to do this are you?" the words leave Yeosang's lips without him wanting them to. He doesn't want to speak them, because that would mean this whole, insane conversation is actually happening.

"Babe... It's already been decided."

"So... That's what the ring is for..." Yeosang whispers, not actually as a question but more of a declaration to himself. He feels so stupid and a big lump is starting to build up in his throat, choking him.

"How did you... Did you go through my stuff?" Taeyong asks, his voice suddenly turning deeper and the look in his eyes is furiously glaring at Yeosang.

"I-I had to! It's not like you seem to ever want to unpack your things, so I wanted to be nice and do it for you! Excuse me, for trying to make this home nice for the both of us. Even though you're never here anyway. I guess it makes sense now, since you just want to hide me away or whatever!"

"Yeosang. You know we can't ever go public with this relationship... I've told you that a million times." 

"No, the only thing you've told me a million times, is that you needed more time to make your parents understand that you don't care what they think because it won't change who you are, or who you want to be with. The only one who told me what we could do and couldn't do, was the twelve pages long contract your parents forced me to sign months into our relationship, when you dared to tell them we were dating!"

Saying it out loud, Yeosang knows just how ridiculous it sounds - but it is the truth. The contract, the one that both he and Taeyong have been following the last couple of years. The one that Yeosang every day has prayed that Taeyong would tell his parents to stick up their uptight asses.

But most importantly, the one that indirectly told Yeosang that Taeyong would never truly be his.

Tears are starting to build up in Yeosang's eyes but he fights to hold them back. Taeyong is still walking back and forth, making frustrated sighs and shaking his head.

"I'm not even going to discuss that with you again. Anyway. Listen, this arrangement is the best for the both of us. We can still be together, so why are you acting like this?" Taeyong asks almost accusingly, obviously trying to turn the issue away from himself.

"Why... Why I am acting like this? You are going to be married to someone else!" Yeosang angrily shouts, turning his face away as the tears are trying to break free from his eyes.

"To make my parents happy! As long as I am fake-married to whatever her face is, they won't mingle in my actual private life. And it's not like she cares either, I know she's a real gold-digger, she would've married me even if I was old and ugly. I'll just hand her a credit card and then all's good."

"W-what will you do when your parents start expecting grandkids then? You know that will happen! You're their only child!"

"Then I'll just have to do that," Taeyong shrugs his lean shoulders, as if it doesn't matter at all.

"You'd do that? Really? You'd sleep with her?" The mere thought of Taeyong being with someone else is sending ice cold shivers down Yeosang's spine.

"Of course, she'll be my wife and that's how you make babies!"

"I know how to fucking make babies!" Yeosang growls with clenched fists. "I can't believe you are taking this so easily! I can't believe you're telling me right now that you'll sleep with someone else, a woman, just to make your family happy! I... I can't live like this..." Yeosang's voice cracks and ends up just as a weak whisper.

Taeyong always used to say he would give Yeosang the world, but looking at him now it's clear that he never understood that he was everything Yeosang could ever ask for.

But Yeosang could never have him the way he so deeply wanted to.

"I-I can't do this anymore..." Yeosang hides his face with his hands as the tears start to fall.

Pain is spreading from deep inside his heart, as all his worst nightmares are coming true right in front of his eyes; he will lose Taeyong, he will lose the love of his life.

"Then I guess.... That's it?" Taeyong's words pierce straight through Yeosang's heart like the sharpest of knives.

Hesitantly, Yeosang looks up and just stares at Taeyong, his words telling he doesn't even want to fight for their relationship hurts like hell. Yeosang feels like screaming and throwing up at the same time. But he just sits still, tears streaming down his cheeks. The seconds feel like hours until Taeyong finally speaks again, and his next words only add to the aching pain that is growing in Yeosang's heart.

"Okay well... If we are done here? I'll have Johnny come by and pick up my things one of the following days. You can keep the apartment... Bye. Yeosang..." Taeyong nods to himself as if he's confirming what he just said, but Yeosang just sits as frozen on the couch in front of him.

When Taeyong suddenly wraps his arms around Yeosang one last time, Yeosang still doesn't move. He wants to, wants to pull Taeyong into his arms as well, beg him to stay, tell him how much he loves him.

But he can't.

When Taeyong lets go again, pulling the warm embrace away and leaving Yeosang feeling even colder than before, it feels like he is ripping half of Yeosang's heart and soul with him.

Looking at Taeyong now, it feels like looking at at complete stranger. Like it's the first time Yeosang ever looks into those deep, brown eyes. Like he's never kissed those soft lips before, and never heard the words "I love you" come out of them.

Taeyong's shoulders rise a bit as he sighs heavily before walking towards the door, leaving a heavy silence behind him as soon as the sound of the door closing behind him has faded away.

Yeosang feels like the silence is swallowing him whole, throwing him into a deep, dark hole of indescribable pain.

Slowly Yeosang feels how his body starts shaking. The tears rolling down his cheeks seem so endless and his lips are trembling as he finally manages to speak again.

"Taeyong... Please... Don't go..." he whispers, even though it's too late.

The pain in his heart spreads to his entire body and he slowly slides down from the couch onto his knees on the floor. He shouldn't have said all that, why did he have to say that? The tears won't stop falling and he is gasping for air completely unable to control his own body. He feels so stupid for saying those words, he could just have accepted the deal and they would still be together.

But he's had enough. Enough with the hiding, enough with stupid contracts, enough with everything. But how come it still hurts so much. Why didn't Taeyong fight for them to stay together. Did he really just want to break up all along? Did he ever love Yeosang? Was their relationship just too much of a burden in the end?

The questions are piling up in Yeosang's mind, making him feel even more hurt.

"Please... Don't leave me..."

And right there, in the middle of their perfect home, Yeosang is left completely, perfectly broken.

Alone and hurt.

_________________________

♫ The Veronicas - In another life

A/N: it honestly hurt to write this. :( Half-way through I was like... Nooo, I want them to be happy! Oh, wait - this is a flashback... Dang it!

Anyway... Jesus, this chapter was long... Hope you liked it! <3