NATASHA ROMANOFF: Clint, do you remember that one guy in Budapest that died from natural causes?

CLINT BARTON: you mean the guy you pushed off the roof?

NATASHA ROMANOFF: but he died of natural causes.

CLINT BARTON: YOU PUSHED HIM OFF THE ROOF-

NATASHA ROMANOFF: YEAH, GRAVITY. ITS NATURAL.

CLINT BARTON: are u high or something 🤦‍♂️

NATASHA ROMANOFF: no, I'm just stating facts

CLINT BARTON: anyway, what about him?

NATASHA ROMANOFF: actually it's probably a little too violent for Parker and Shuri, I'll tell you in a private message

TONY STARK: Nat..what are u talkin about smh

PETER PARKER: I saw a million disgusting aliens all trying to kill me and dead people and creatures all over the place. I think I'm okay...

TONY STARK: just don't get PTSD like your dad

PETER PARKER: sure

PETER PARKER: wait is that you-

PETER PARKER: o I'm sorry

TONY STARK: it's ok. Loki should be the one apologizing

LOKI: I was pressured into it and practically controlled by Thanos...so you should be angry at Thanos

THOR: BROTHER- DONT SPEAK HIS NAME

TONY STARK: can we just ignore Thor at this point?

LOKI: that's what I've been trying to do my whole life. I can't seem to get rid of him

THOR: you literally faked your death like 4 times-

LOKI: and that just shows how desperate I was to leave you-

THOR: 😢

PETER PARKER: my teacher gave us a quote today, and I think I'm going to be making it my life moto.
"If you don't like me at my worst, you won't like me at my best."

SAM WILSON: I don't like you at all

PETER PARKER: *sob* this is cyber bullying

TONY STARK: why do you have an obsession with hating on Peter or something

SAM WILSON: tHe kId's a pRoBLeM!

TONY STARK: hEs a KiD!!

SAM WILSON: a PrObLeMatiC kID! HE nEeDs HELp aLL tHe TiMe! You are always assisting him, AND NOW HES GOT 2 ASSISTANTS. I SEE HIM USING VISION LIKE J.A.R.V.I.S! "Vision can you get me my juicebox and some cheese sticks? 🥺🥺."

TONY STARK: take a chill pill, this is my son we are talking about

PETER PARKER: daddy pick me up I'm scared

STEVE ROGERS: I'll cover his eyes, Tony-

SAM WILSON: SEE? HES A CHILD- NOW STEVE IS WORKING FOR HIM TOO!

BUCKY BARNES: Sam calm down.

BUCKY BARNES: sorry, guys, Sam has been upset ever since Redwing was malfunctioning from the toilet water.

SAM WILSON: YEA, LOKI!

SHURI: ugh I look so ugly today.

T'CHALLA: what are you talking about sister?

PETER PARKER: Shuri what the heck no you look really cute

SHURI: I know, I just wanted to hear you say it. 😉

T'CHALLA: *sigh*

PETER PARKER: if you could add "you piece of crap" to the end of any famous movie quote, what would it be?

SHURI: hakuna matata you piece of crap

PETER PARKER: 😂 😂

SHURI: iT meAnS nO wOrRiES YA PIECE OF CRAP

BUCKY BARNES: pffahaha

NATASHA ROMANOFF: what- lmao

TONT STARK: 🤣 😆 T CHALLA CAN I ADOPT YOUR SISTER

PETER PARKER: YES PLEASE

T'CHALLA: you people are so unsophisticated

TONY STARK: whats this study guide on the table? Peter? This yours?

PETER PARKER: uh yea

TONY STARK: do you need help studying? Don't answer that, I don't care. I'm helping you anyway

PETER PARKER: Mr Stark I'm really not in the mood....and I'm sure I'll be fine..

TONY STARK: i don't care. OKAY, KID. WHAT IS THIS?

PETER PARKER: a triangle.

TONY STARK: IS IT? IS IT A TRIANGLE?

PETER PARKER: yes...obviously it is

TONY STARK: oh really? prove it.

PETER PARKER: oh, well you see, if you have these things called eyes, you can see that uh..it's a triangle because it has three sides.

TONY STARK: hah nononononono

TONY STARK: prove it. Using this

PETER PARKER: MAN WHAT IS THIS CRAP-