PETER PARKER: so there's this girl in my class named MJ, and I really like her. Like really like her. But I don't know how to tell her how I feel, and I'm awkward and weird and not good at talking and i just want to be myself but she's so dark and confident and I don't know what to do

STEVE ROGERS: woah woah woah, slow down

TONY STARK: here's me advice: kidnap her and lock her inyour closetand make her fell in lovee whth youu

JAMES RHODES: sorry, he's still drunk. I'm turning off his phone

STEVE ROGERS: just be yourself, kid. Don't try to be anyone else.

PETER PARKER: ok

STEVE ROGERS: you never know how much time you have left, so go for it. Make a move, before it's too late.

PETER PARKER: whooh. Okay. Getting dating advice from Captain America, cool.

PETER PARKER: wait, should I tell her I'm Spider-Man?

STEVE ROGERS: no

CLINT BARTON: yes

NATASHA ROMANOFF: yes

SHURI: yes

BRUCE BANNER: yes

PETER PARKER: uh....

CLINT BARTON: DO IT

NATASHA ROMANOFF: every chic likes a handsome strong vigilant.

PETER PARKER: would they only like me because I'm Spider-Man? What about the dorky, insecure teenager..

STEVE ROGERS: do what your heart tells you, kid.

PETER PARKER: okay. Thanks guys

PETER PARKER: I have a school trip coming up. We're going to Paris...so should I tell her during the trip? It's kind of romantic

CLINT BARTON: kind of romantic? Hell yea, kid. That sounds great.

PETER PARKER: I'm super excited. I hope everything goes well 😬

NATASHA ROMANOFF: oh, Rogers, whatever happened to Sam and Loki?

STEVE ROGERS: I don't think Sam would stand a chance against him in any fight, but I haven't heard from them.

LOKI: what did you expect?

STEVE ROGERS: Hey. What happened?

LOKI: I exchanged the flying puppy machine for access to the numbers of Stark's safe.

PETER PARKER: 😦 not the one with the secret, secret marshmallows?!

LOKI: Yes, the one with the secret, secret marshmallows.

PETER PARKER: Mr. Stark is going to be so angry with you

LOKI: I'm counting on it 😈

BUCKY BARNES: Sam, why would you give away the access code

SAM WILSON: uh, because 1: i don't care about Tony's marshmallows. And 2: I needed Redwing back.

LOKI: ah, if it isnt the bird and the cold recruit

PETER PARKER: PFFFT that should be their nicknames

BUCKY BARNES: no please

SAM WILSON: no.

PETER PARKER changed BUCKY BARNES' nickname to 'Cold Recruit'

Cold Recruit: WhAt?

PETER PARKER changed SAM WILSON'S nickname to 'Bird'

Bird: WHO GAVE THIS KID PERMISSIONS

STEVE ROGERS: Tony, probably

PETER PARKER changed STEVE ROGERS' nickname to 'Capsicle'

Capsicle: really?

Bird: and now we can't change it back, because Tony is the only other person with permissions, and he's drunk.

Cold Recruit: someone steal Tony's phone

NATASHA ROMANOFF: do you know how many security protection systems he has on there? You have to go through like 10 scanners.

Bird: you tried to hack into Tony's phone?

NATASHA ROMANOFF: on many occasions.

Cold Recruit: I thought someone like you could manage something like that

NATASHA ROMANOFF: Tony is slightly smarter than me. Slightly.

PETER PARKER changed NATASHA ROMANOFF's nickname to 'Triple Imposter'

Capsicle: Peter, enough.

PETER PARKER: almost...

SHURI: aLmoSt iS nEvERr eNouUuGhhh

PETER PARKER: sO CLoSe TO bEiNg iN LoOOovE

Triple Imposter: i personally enjoy the nicknames

Bird: I don't.

Cold Recruit: neither do I

Capsicle: I only dislike it because it's what Tony called me back in 2012

LOKI: the good ol days

Triple Imposter: excuse you?

PETER PARKER changed LOKI's nickname to 'Reindeer'

LOKI: it's not Christmas...

PETER PARKER: reality can be..

SHURI: whatever I want!

PETER PARKER changed SHURI's nickname to 'African Disney Princess'

African Disney Princess: hehehehe

PETER PARKER: Ariana Grande who?

African Disney Princess: Peter, Peter, Peter give me permissions

PETER PARKER gave African Disney Princess administrator permissions

African Disney Princess: ahahaha yes

African Disney Princess changed T'CHALA's nickname to 'King YO'Mama'

KING YO'MAMA: what is the meaning of this

African Disney Princess changed PETER PARKER's nickname to 'Peter Parker Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers'

Peter Parker Pickled a Peck of Pickled Peppers: lool I cant even say my own name without stuttering, and now this

Bird: you two are insane

Cold Recruit: I'm concerned for their mentality

Bird: says the guy who got brainwashed like 100 times

Capsicle: hey-

Cold Recruit: 😢

Peter Parker Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers: Shuri, lets nickname everyone

African Disney Princess: YeS!!

Bird: NoO

Cold Recruit: nO

Capsicle: 😒

Bird: why are we even here

Cold Recruit: just to suffer...

Bird: I thought this was supposed to be an official Avengers discussion thing. Now it's just chaos

Capsicle: when I wanted kids, I wanted them in the 40s. I can't imagine how anyone survives with children nowadays

Triple Imposter: you just insulted Tony, Pepper and Morgan. And like millions of people around the world

Capsicle: 👀

Triple Imposter: why are you suddenly using emojis

Capsicle: 🤷‍♂️

Peter Parker Pickled a Peck of Pickled Peppers changed THOR's nickname to 'Point Break'

Triple Imposter: are you just constantly taking notes from Tony?

Peter Parker Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers: I just want to be like him

Capsicle: don't be like him.

TONY STARK: be better

Bird: TONY, FINALLY, ARE YOU SOBER?

TONY STARK: what are you talkizng about imalwas sober

Bird: where did Rhodey go

African Disney Princess changed TONY STARK's nickname to 'Tony Stank'

Tony Stank: you rude disrespectful girl I am not stanky I'm Starky

African Disney Princess: hush

Capsicle: do children have no respect for adults anymore?

Peter Parker Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers changed Clint Barton's nickname to 'Legolas'

Cold Recruit: you two aren't gonna stop, are you

African Disney Princess: nope 😘

Peter Parker Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers: never 🥳