CLINT BARTON: guys help

NATASHA ROMANOFF: what's up

CLINT BARTON: my daughter got her first period

TONY STARK: woah, hey there are children here

SHURI: excuse me? There are two 'children' here, and I'm one of them. And I'm a girl.

PETER PARKER: and I've seen my fair share of...stuff

TONY STARK: ... whatever

CLINT BARTON: I mean what do I do idk how those things work and her mom isn't here and idk I don't want her clothes to get messy

NATASHA ROMANOFF: you're a 40 year old man and you don't know how periods work...

CLINT BARTON: WELL I DONT KNOW EVERYTHING

NATASHA ROMANOFF: just give your daughter some pads, surely Laura has some in the bathroom

CLINT BARTON: uhm, ok, ok. Does she know how to use them? Do I need to use it?

SHURI: 🤦‍♀️

NATASHA ROMANOFF: just give her the dang pad and she'll figure it out

CLINT BARTON: that doesn't sound reassuring

TONY STARK: how to defeat Hawkeye 101: tell him his daughter is having her woman time

CLINT BARTON: hey- just wait until Morgan gets there

TONY STARK: ..and when she does, I will be totally prepared and smooth and be completely sophisticated about it.

CLINT BARTON: sure...

STEVE ROGERS: guys? Who is Siri...?

TONY STARK: it's like Jarvis, but on your phone..and way less cool...because it was designed by Apple, and not Stark

STEVE ROGERS: so it's an AI

TONY STARK: we'll go with that

STEVE ROGERS: it's kinda creepy...how does it know my location

TONY STARK: because your phone tracks where you are

STEVE ROGERS: SO IM CONSTANTLY BEING SPIED ON?!?

TONY STARK: no..no...

STEVE ROGERS: NO WONDER HYDRA INFILTRATED SHIELD SO EASILY-

TONY STARK: Capsicle it's not stalking you, ok! You can turn location services off if you really want to. Goodness. Just relax, it's a phone. It won't hurt you

STEVE ROGERS: 👀

NATASHA ROMANOFF: speaking of relaxation, my quiet time has been interrupted by yelling and smoke coming from the kitchen.

TONY STARK: oh, Vision better not have forgotten to take out my special marshmallow cookies

CLINT BARTON: what is with you and marshmallows

TONY STARK: I LIKE THEM, OKAY

NATASHA ROMANOFF: it smells like a lot of burning stuff

PETER PARKER: oh yea that's me I could use some help

TONY STARK: what. have. you. done.

PETER PARKER: LOKI TOLD ME IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO PUT MY BREAD ON TINFOIL AND MICROWAVE IT

TONY STARK: WHY DO YOU BELIEVE ANYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF THAT CREATURE'S MOUTH?!?

PETER PARKER: HE SAID IT WAS A LIFE HACK TO TOAST BREAD!

TONY STARK: WAIT! ARE MY COOKIES OK?

PETER PARKER: yes they're fine- BUT IM NOT, ITS SMOKING

TONY STARK: IM COMING HANG ON

NATASHA ROMANOFF: is that...popping I hear?

PETER PARKER: YEA THE TINFOIL DIDNT LIKE THE MICROWAVE AND IT MADE AN EXPLOSION AND FIRE

NATASHA ROMANOFF: kid how did you not know about aluminum and microwaves. That's literally the first thing you get taught when you use the microwave

TONY STARK: well he learns from me and I love doing things I'm not supposed to ;)

NATASHA ROMANOFF: smh

STEVE ROGERS: is that the..fire alarm?!

NATASHA ROMANOFF: yep

BUCKY BARNES: AHHH WHAT IS THAT

TONY STARK: oh yes, do you guys like it?

STEVE ROGERS: ..what is it

TONY STARK: Dora the Explorer 😀

STEVE ROGERS: what.

BUCKY BARNES: WHY IS IT SO LOUD

TONY STARK: because when there's a fire, who doesn't want to hear an earrape of the Dora theme song to make them panic even more?

STEVE ROGERS: I am concerned for your mentality

TONY STARK: id be more worried about cyborg brain over there

BUCKY BARNES: huh?

STEVE ROGERS: can you please turn it off

PETER PARKER: AHHHHHH MR STARK ITS STILL SMOKING AND DORA SCREAMING DOESNT REALLY HELP

TONY STARK: KID IM TRYING-

NATASHA ROMANOFF: sips tea

NATASHA ROMANOFF: do do do do do Dora. Do do do do do Dora...

This was what the fire alarm was playing by the way:

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]