your love doesn't measure up

"IT STARTED WHEN DAMON TURNED VICKI," Athena tucked her hair behind her ears, avoiding the gaze of everyone. Lexi and Damon had joined at some point, the chaos of it all easily catching their attention in the otherwise silent house.

"Why wouldn't you tell me?"

Athena crosses her arms over her chest, shifting uncomfortably at the feeling of Stefan's hurt gaze set directly on her.

The brunette shrugs, giving him a helpless look. "I didn't want to worry you, Stefan. Damon and I were figuring it out."

Stefan chuckles incredulously, running a hand through his wild blonde hair. "You didn't want me to worry? So me hearing you scream bloody murder in my house wasn't anything to worry about?"

"Like I said, you weren't supposed to find out like this. I don't even know what's happening, so," She sniffed quietly, looking down at her lap.

Damon takes the moment of silence to step up, laying a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Don't be mad at her, Stefan, she asked me not to tell you. It's the least I owe her, after everything."

Lexi scoffs from where she's seated on a stool. "God, you're just a real standup guy, aren't you?" Her eyes shift to her best friend and then to Athena before falling back to Stefan. "I think that we should understand where Athena was coming from because this is still all new to her. It's a lot easier to adjust to vampires when you're human, but the second you start changing, things get scary."

Stefan heaves a sigh, silently gesturing to the door with a small jerk of his head.

Damon ignores the cue, but Lexi rolls her eyes and shoves him towards the door, giving Stefan an encouraging smile that he mirrors wryly.

Once the door to her room is shut, Stefan turns to her and watches her slowly lift her brown eyes and look up at him almost fearfully.

"I'm sorry, Stefan, I never–"

"Don't," He shakes his head, sitting beside her on the bed. "Don't apologize. I'm not mad, I'm just overthinking things."

She huffs a small laugh, bumping their shoulders together. "You're good at that, you know."

He sighs, smiling at the sound of her laugh. Almost reminding him, his brain continues to think about everything that could go wrong with Athena being even more involved in this life than she already is.

"I was so scared letting you come around me or Damon, because everyone I care about ends up getting hurt," He shakes his head, fumbling with the daylight ring on his finger nervously. "And now, thinking that you're somehow involved in this life, in my life, it's terrifying. I've seen people I know and love die just being around us. I mean, I almost lost Lexi and she's always been stronger than me."

Athena wraps her arm around Stefan's, leaning her head on his shoulder as she listens to him.

"I don't know," He mutters. "I just can't fathom the thought of you getting hurt because of me."

She traces the veins on his forearm lightly, watching goosebumps rise in the wake of her fingertip. "I can't say that I won't get hurt, or that I won't be in danger at some point in my life, Stefan, but I promise that no one is ever going to take me away from you."

Athena heaves a deep breath. "No one's ever going to take me away from you, as long as I have a fighting chance."

Stefan shifts his arm backward, intertwining his fingers with hers. "You shouldn't promise things like that, Athena."

"I shouldn't, or I can't?"

"You shouldn't," He reaffirms. "I have long since learned that I can't not make you do anything, you are infuriatingly stubborn."

She hums, smiling to herself. "It's part of my charm."

"It's going to kill me one day, I think."

"Oh, will my recklessness give the old man cardiac problems? Maybe your poor old heart will give out, or you'll break a hip."

"Okay, okay," He squeezes her fingers in a silent warning. "I get it, that's enough."

Stefan glances down at Athena, grateful she's not looking into his eyes because he's not sure what she would see if she did. "Promise me something?"

"I thought you said I shouldn't make promises,"

"Well, I'm reneging on what I said," He snarks, huffing an exasperated breath. "Promise me that you won't keep anything more from me, okay? I can't keep you safe if I don't know everything."

Athena pauses, ignoring the way his words make her pulse race as she watches his thumb caress the skin of her hand back and forth. She thinks about his concern, about the fear that glimmered in his hunter-green eyes and the way it made her heart ache.

She thinks about Stefan, in all of his glory. His empathy, his sympathy, his ability to make nearly anyone like him. She thinks about his smile and the way that even naturally his canines are a little sharper than the average person's, a constant reminder of the man he is beneath his charming shell.

She thinks of the way that his fingers dance across her skin and simply light her up in every way. The way he spins her on a dance floor, promising that he would do it for her and only her.

And she thinks of herself, and how she has silently promised all of the same things he's promised her. How she will protect him no matter what, how she will do her best to keep him safe.

There's no doubt in her mind about what she feels for Stefan Salvatore, and it's evident in the way that she would follow him to the ends of the earth without question.

She sighs, smiling to herself, leaving Stefan completely unaware of her inner monologue. "I promise, Stefan."

──────

"Good morning, freak show."

Athena startles, her eyes shooting open just in time to see Damon's smirking face above her. She yelps, pulling the sheets tighter around her frame as she tries to settle her racing heart. Her eyes shift to the alarm clock on the bedside table and she groans at the early hour.

"What the hell is your problem, dude?"

"You were taking too long for me, and we have things to do."

She scoffs, rolling over in the bed. "We aren't doing anything, it's Saturday and I'm doing absolutely nothing."

Damon sighs, standing up and walking to the end of the bed. In a swift movement, he yanks back the covers and ignores Athena's outraged yells for him to quit. "Well, change of plans. You're coming with me."

Athena throws her head back on a pillow and groans, the sound echoing through the boarding house. "What could we possibly have to do at seven in the morning on a Saturday?"

"We are going to visit your favorite person–"

"Oh, no, no, no, no," Athena scoffs, sitting up in the bed with a glare. "I refuse–"

"And we're going to compel her to get a little information on where that god-forsaken journal is, and if we don't get answers, maybe we'll go to the brother– make Elena feel threatened, I don't know. We'll see where the day takes us."

She raises a dark eyebrow, pursing her lips in a pout because they both know he's convinced her to go even if she's just being stubborn at this point. "What's Stefan doing? And Lexi?"

"Lexi is doing something with Caroline, I don't know– I don't really listen when she speaks. Stefan is going to see if Bonnie has any idea on where to find this journal or if she just has any idea on how to open this tomb."

"Fine, I'll go," She sighs, throwing her head back. "But I swear to god, if I don't get to threaten someone today, it's your ass on the line."

He holds his hands up in surrender and backs out of the room with a smirk. "I'll make it happen, kid. Now chop, chop– we've got a busy day ahead of us."

──────

"What was it like with you and Katherine?" Athena rests her elbow on the door, propping her head up with her hand to look at Damon as he pulls away from the boarding house. "I mean, I can't imagine falling head over heels in love with someone that looked like Elena Gilbert, so,"

"To be fair, Elena didn't exist when I first met Katherine," He sighed, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. "And I wouldn't fall in love with Elena Gilbert, even if I wanted to."

She hums, tucking a piece of her straightened brown hair behind her ears. "What was so great about her? What made you and Stefan so crazy in love with her that you practically turned your backs on one another just for her attention?"

Damon huffs a disbelieving laugh, turning down a street towards Elena's house. "Asking the deep questions today, are we, Dr. Phil?"

"Funny," She deadpans. "Answer them, and I might leave you alone about her."

"Fine," He concedes, mind easily drifting back to his time as a human with Katherine. "I couldn't tell you what Stefan saw in her, she was two different people around us. She was good at that, playing to our weaknesses to gain our trust."

"She sounds like a real upstanding citizen,"

"I never said she was a good person, I just said that I wanted to get her out of the tomb."

"Because you love her," Athena finishes, earning a brief glare from the vampire. "Why do you love her? Didn't she compel you guys?"

Damon nods, heaving a sigh. "She compelled a lot of things away, made me forget things, or simply made it to where I couldn't tell anyone and was trapped with something in my mind forever. But when you're turned into a vampire, all previous compulsion goes away. And when I turned and her compulsion went away,"

"You still loved her," Athena supplies, earning a nod from Damon. "I don't know Katherine from anything other than what you and Stefan have told me, and I have an obvious bias against her right out of the gate just for having the same face as Elena, but I don't–"

She shifts in the passenger seat, crossing her legs over one another. "When the compulsion went away, you still loved Katherine. But did she love you? Did every memory, every thought she wiped away show that she loved you?"

"What's your point?"

"My point is, you're risking your life to open this tomb, Damon, but are you risking your life for a woman who doesn't even love you back? And that possibly never did?"

"People do crazy things for love, Athena, it's always been like that. Sometimes that means having to fight for it."

"You're right. But, would Katherine fight for you? If you were in that tomb for over a hundred years, do you think she would put her life on the line to get you out of it?"

Damon doesn't respond, but Athena notices that he shifts the car into park and she glances upwards, realizing they've already gotten to Elena's. He gives her a look through cloudy eyes and she knows that her words have struck somewhere within him. "Let's just find this journal."

────── 

author's note; im like a little drunk so if theres typos ignore them or I'll cry, also was too lazy to figure out what to do for the rest of the episode so enjoy this filler chapter (I don't remember why I was drunk, but I hope I had fun – liz from the future) 

originally published; 11.22.20. 

edited: 11.28.23.

- liz