Author:  yyyuehyyyie

Book Title: Sparkle

Reviewer: Anika

• TOTAL MARKS- ①⓪⓪

|- ⑤ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ.

5/5 

There is a lot of positive Interaction between the author and the readers throughout the story.

|- 10 ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴄᴏᴠᴇʀ.

-3/10

The cover is great but even if it's quite eye-catching, the aesthetic style with Taehyung's picture doesn't look attractive. I think the black glimmer type border around his picture ruins the mood too. It's understandable that the graphic designer tried to design the cover that matches the plot "Sparkle" But I think the excessive usage of sparkling made it look unappealing. The yellow font style looks perfect around the darkness, I suggest changing everything except for the font.

|- ⑤ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴅᴇsᴄʀɪᴘᴛɪᴏɴ.

-3/5

The description isn't too long or too short but it is attention-grabbing revealing a bit of the personality of the characters. It doesn't give any summary about the plot though.

|- 10 ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴛɪᴛʟᴇ.

-3/5

The title doesn't have any deep meaning but as I read the story further, I realize it relates to the chemistry between the main characters in some way.

|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴘʟᴏᴛ.

-4/10

The plot is common high school love but the author made the story quite interesting using creative ideas for small events and incidents connecting the plot line. The exposition didn't disappoint at all, the way the author introduced all the characters, showing a glimpse of their personality intrigued the readers and made them fall in love with them but I believe it needs more details. I wouldn't call Taehyung's enemy-like relationship with Eunha or love triangle between Jungkook a rising action of a story because It didn't give much drama, suspense or spice to thrill a reader. It didn't even last longer, they somehow seemed insignificant but they made the story interesting as well.

•|- ②⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴀᴍᴍᴀʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴠᴏᴄᴀʙᴜʟᴀʀʏ.

-8/20

There are many vocabulary and grammar mistakes in the beginning but as the story goes on, I see the improvement.

Preposition:-

You made some preposition mistakes including these two, there are more.

1. Chapter 1,

While (her) sister doesn't even move a bit from a loud voice of his.

2. Chapter 1,

Eunha quickly grabbed the digital clock on the little table besides(his)bed.

Grammar:-

1. Chapter 1,

It's not the first time (you've been) dealing a deep sleeper.

Correction: You are dealing with a

2. Chapter 1,

Why (did) you always use this way to wake me up

Correction: Do

3. Chapter 2,

The teacher that sits in the middle of the detention room, (scanning) us from head to toes.

Correction: "scans" without any comma in the sentence

4. Chapter 8,

Leaving Eunha wonders, how the hell he knew where I sit?

Correction: To wonder

Vocabulary:- 

1. Chapter 1,

What's wrong with this and that?!

Reviewer: When you say something is wrong you mean something is unsatisfactory about that particular thing. 

2. Chapter 1,

For your information, the 'this' and 'that' that Seokjin said were her wig and glasses.

Reviewer: Remove "that Seokjin said" it's insignificant because the reader already knew it was him.

3. Chapter 1,

*FLASHBACK*

Reviewer: Headings should be bold without any punctuations like asteroids or something like underline.

4.Chapter 2, 

He bang the book with huge force on the table.

Correction: He forcefully bang the book 

5. Chapter 2,

You got some mental health problem until you're talking to yourself?

Reviewer: you use "until" with negative to empathize the moment in time after which the rest of your statement becomes true.

6. Chapter 5,

"Really? That's what best friend stan for?"

Correction: Stand

7. Chapter 6,

I'm searching for you just now

Correction: Just now I was searching for you

8. Chapter 6,

Stop using cringe scene in kdrama on me.

Correction: from the kdrama

9. Chapter 6,

You love cringe storyline (aren't you?)

Correction: Don't you?

10. Chapter 7,

Taehyung's smirk (when) wider.

Correction: Went

|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs Fᴏʀ ᴘʟᴏᴛ ᴛᴡɪsᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴛᴛʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ.

-5/10

The reason Eunha hid from Taehyung and left him hanging for years seems confusing. I know the death of beloved grandparents is too much to handle but hiding from Taehyung all these years just to stain the relationship is something not understandable and needs a valid reason. Like I don't understand why hide it? Moving on, the plot twist of Taehyung not coming back to Korea for 2 years and their reunion again in France plus his unexpected occupation was very shocking and thrilling. The story really became interesting at this point.

|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴs ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴇᴠᴇʟᴏᴘᴍᴇɴᴛ.

-4/10

The author described the emotions of the character greatly with dialogues and short action tags. Mostly it didn't seem cliche. Taehyung and Eunha fights were quite enjoyable, especially those sibling fights with Seokjin. In the story, you showed that Eunha got a job after 2 years of high school graduation which is totally not possible. Readers would question "why and how" You must explain in the story to avoid such confusions. Even if there was a short period of education, usually it takes months for an internship to complete before becoming a permanent employee somewhere. You didn't told what's her occupation either but it looked high post judging by how Mr. Lee sent her to France which seems unrealistic unless Taehyung is the one who planned that for her.

|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴠɪᴛʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀʏ ᴏғ ᴡᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ.

-4/10

Your writing style is smooth, easy to read and understand but you miss out some details. Readers imagine everything an author writes and create their own world while reading. For example ferris wheel part, there should be a valid reason of any new part in the story but I understand you wrote that part to injure Eunha's ankle but still I believe you should have described the scenario of sky decorated with stars or the view of illuminated amusement park below instead of making Eunha focus on tree or birds. Also emotions they feel to make the reader engulf in the story or empathize with them. Besides you didn't mention it was night time or daytime so as a reader I would say that we will subconsciously imagine it as a night time because that is common for us (as reader). And at night, there are no birds. You can't even see due to darkness. In conclusion, your reader's imagination got ruined just because you missed out these minor details. One more thing, I think the wound on her ankle is severe, I searched in google and the pictures I saw were extremely painful and severe. I suggest a bruise or something that isn't so extreme. Besides, she fell due to an imbalance and her ankle probably got hurt by the twist. She accidently didn't hit her ankle against anything metallic or something sharp that would cause such deep injury to bleed.

Chapter 1,

"She uses her tongue to poke her inner cheeks. She looks at the direction where her enemy sits."

Instead of explaining, show the readers in action. Don’t dictate what your readers should see.

Example: Her tongue pokes the inner cheek

|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏᴏᴋ.

-7/10

The story is the best and you are pretty creative too. I advise you to read many english stories to improve your writing skills, overall you are a really great author. 

Total Marks: 46/100