Book Name: Daughter of the Gods

Author: ProdigiousFlames

Reviewer: Bun _wxld_thxstle_

Cover: 04/05

The cover, unlike many others I’ve come across, did not fail to give the theme of the book. It matched the theme very well and it is pretty too.
But the cover is too flashy but somewhat dark at the same time. I suggest increasing the brightness of the model used on the cover.

Though the font is nice and placed well, it should’ve been of a lighter color and somewhat bright to go with the entire book cover. Also, it would’ve been better if the words were above the stick the girl is holding. They might’ve looked prettier and catchy.

Title: 03/05

Though accurate and connected, the title is not really catchy and it doesn’t go with the main theme of the book, which is mostly Ishani’s and Karna’s bonding.

Keeping it or changing it would be your decision, but all I can say is that it’s connected to the main theme but not attractive.

Synopsis: 06/10

The synopsis is fine. It’s relevant to the book.
But a synopsis shouldn’t only be relevant, but it should be beautifully written and interesting to read; it makes the reader intrigued with your book and should also get a glimpse of your language skills and professionalism. But your blurb was quite simple and not very fancy. It was moderately intriguing, but I feel there could’ve been something more to it.

Making it more mysterious but connected to the book is what I suggest. I trust you with more creativity for the synopsis.

Execution: 06/10

Execution is very important in a book. It is a crucial factor in deciding how the book turns out to be.
As for your execution, though it wasn’t really bad, it wasn’t very good, and an improperly executed book isn’t as interesting and enjoyable.

The characters got along very fast. It’s not really acceptable. They started liking each other since the first meeting, which is too sudden and illogical at some point.
Also, everyone accepted Ishani’s habits and modern culture very soon. It’s somewhat absurd. I mean, women have had a long struggle to just go to school. But in Ishani’s case, everyone is being too understanding and allowing.

I suggest adding some conflicts too here. No one can be so perfect for the people to accept, even if they’re fictitious.

The pace of the plot is fast; you don’t elaborate on the incidences and happenings much. It makes the book very rushed and confusing for a moment.
I suggest elaborating every scene and every event which is crucial for the book. You should add some descriptive writing to the book to make it more interesting and convincing. The pace should be slowed and more time must be taken for the characters to bond together and get along.

Plot: 11/20

To start with, the plot is fairly unique and beautiful. It’s something I haven’t come across yet, so it’s very original and creative to me. The concept is nice; but the plot holes are noticeable and hinder the beauty of the plot.

First, Ishani’s clothes, behaviour and language are completely modern. But the way everyone is too natural and accustomed to her demeanour in a very short amount of time is surprising, and somewhat absurd. I mean, if the world took an era to agree on women’s clothes and working today, then how can they accept it in just a few minutes? I suggest adding some cultural controversies in the book that highlight the difference between Ishani and the women from the Mahabharat Yug.
Second, the way Ishani insults and straightens so many men, but they end up liking her and developing a brotherly affection for her is very unexplained and somewhat daft. So many people, so many influential beings tried to brush sense into the brothers, but Mahabharata happened, didn’t it. But Ishani is able to insult them, preach them, and then they miraculously transform into good beings? It doesn’t work like that. I suggest you take some time to develop this; hastening the plot will just make such it unreasonable.
Third, the three big gods claim Ishani to be their daughter. It’s very sudden and abrupt in the story.

Overall, I suggest adding some elements which would justify the proceedings, and slowing down the plot’s pace to justify the various elements and actions.

Writing Style: 13/20

Writing is really crucial for a book; it sets a book apart from the others, creating a new form of identity for the author.
Your writing style was quite simple and common. It wasn’t really unique, neither different nor interesting, resulting in making the book look bland.
You should’ve developed a unique writing style of yours which would add more life to the book.

Also, it’s better to bold or italicize the letters while mentioning the place or time in a book. For example, here:

The Next Day-

Ishani got up at 7am and wore a beautiful yet simple lehenga.

Here, it was better to bold or italicize the words, considering it’s easy to miss them out.

Also, not everyone really understands the foreign language you used for some denotations and in some places. It is very difficult to determine the meaning of a sentence without knowing the meaning of the foreign words.
You should refrain from using them since they confuse the reader many times, making them wonder if the sentence makes sense unless they know the word or not.

Also, you keep flipping into various flashbacks, which is quite confusing. You also don’t mention the change in timeline, which makes it more difficult for the reader to understand that there is a change in the timeline.
Start with one time, and then let the story proceed, or maybe find a way to keep the reader out of the confusion.

Grammar & Vocabulary: 13/20

Though the grammar isn’t bad, it isn’t good either. There are several grammatical mistakes in the book. I would point them out one by one-

Sentence formation and inappropriate use of verbs

Your sentences are fine, but they are formed in the wrong way sometimes. Also, there are many incorrect verbs you use with the sentences.
One simple example would be:

“Ishu, you can read it later baby. Come for dinner.” Her mother told her.

Now here, “told” is absolutely wrong, considering her mother is trying to call her or persuade her.
There are several instances where the words used are incorrect and inappropriate.

Punctuation mistakes

There are several punctuation mistakes in the book, which need to be fixed to make it mistake-free. Though it’s not confusing much, it doesn’t give a good impression and often annoys the readers.

Besides this, your vocabulary wasn’t good at all. It was limited and bland, and it made the book seem boring at some point.

Characters & Development: 05/10

The characters were fine, but they were really unrelated and confusing at times.

Starting with the main lead Ishani; she was just too confusing and weird. She seemed angry one moment, then got along with others. It’s random and erratic. She is able to beat up men and goes around in shorts in that era,, and the next moment she doesn’t want to move because that will expose her skin.

Compared to the female lead, the male lead, Karna, has an understandable character, and his development is just fine too.
The only thing that doesn’t suit here is- he doesn’t like the maidens of Hastinapur. But, he’s head-over-heels for a girl who just randomly dropped into his arms out of the blue. He likes her a lot and is willing to do so many things for her.

Again, the pandavas and the other folks too are kind and nice towards her.
It took a complete era for men to let the women dress up in the clothes we are sitting in, and the royals from that era accepted Ishani’s clothes so quickly? Doesn’t quite fit right, does it?
Also, there are many questionable things which the royals agree to, and it is very weird.

The development was even more unsettling. The sudden attitude change in Duryodhan, kauravas and some other characters is so weird. It’s abrupt, to say the least. Like so many people, Krishna himself couldn't turn Duryodhan into a good man. And a woman did it in a few days? Had it been so easy, the Mahabharat would’ve never happened.

All I can suggest is, please take some time and make sense with things. The characters shouldn’t go out of character and shouldn’t act opposite to their nature.

Total: 55/100

Final Note:

The creativity and new ideas are nice. It’s quite new for me to come across a book based on such an important event based in the hindu mythology history.
But the pace of the story and the sudden character changes are disappointing and unimpressive. It’s getting off and the readers might not like it. So I suggest going slow, adding more emotions to the plot, adapting a unique writing style and enhancing your vocabulary. It should do, and I’m sure your book will reach new heights with some minor improvements and editing.