𝑨𝑺𝑻𝑹𝑶𝑷𝑯𝑰𝑳𝑰𝑨

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Eva was sure she had never cried as much in her life as she did that last month.

The tears would burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face. She could feel the muscles of her chin tremble like a small child and nothing she did seemed to soothe her. There was constant static in her head, the side effect of the persistent fear, persistent stress she lived with. She could hear her sounds, like a distressed child, raw from the inside. It takes something out of her she didn't know she had left to give. That's the way it is when people are hard. It's like theft of the spirit, an injury no other person can see.

Everyone would always tell her to:

"Cheer up."

"Put on a smile."

"Live life."

"Stop being sad and depressed."

Though she seemingly found it impossible. She was constantly tired beyond belief, weary with the burden of long-closed eyes; she could have easily pulled off being a walking zombie, dead on the inside but subconsciously awake. She found a charm to cover the bags under her eyes and fix her hair, but it was so obvious that the girl was mentally and physically weary.

Kaelyn never left the girl's side and constantly tried to cheer her up. Eva had not spoken to James even a month after their argument. James had stopped trying to talk to her after only a week. That hurt.

And Eva did want to sleep, but her nightmares made it not possible. Her aunt decided to make nightly visits, and the girl was too frightened to even close her eyes. Her nightmares had become increasingly more vivid and clear, so she hardly slept.

Christmas break was approaching, and Eva was more eager than anybody to go home. Her grades had dropped increasingly, and she stopped doing the things she loved. The astronomy tower had not been visited, the house-elves hadn't heard her voice, and she had a horrible substitute in her spot as Chaser.

"That's it, Eva," Kaelyn told her friend, dragging her off of her bed. "You've been in that damn thing for almost a month. You've hardly seen the sun and you're deathly pale. No, don't look at me like that. You're way too skinny to still be healthy. We are going to get you breakfast and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it."

"Kaelyn..."

"Absolutely. No. Excuses," she said. "Adan went to go clear the marauders out of the Great Hall."

"We all know that's not going to work," Eva sighed.

"I'll hex them if I have to," she said matter-of-factly.

Kaelyn spent only 10 minutes fixing up her best friend, but the little details did everything. Her hair was combed and a bit of pink had returned to her normally ghostly cheeks. She was no longer in the same robes she had worn repeatedly for the past month and she looked decent.

Eva grumbled the whole way down to the Great Hall, but she had to admit she was starving. As soon as she entered the hall, she was engulfed in a hug by the one and only Lily Evans. Oh, James would be so jealous right now.

All heads in the Great Hall turned to the girl. Seeing as it was a Saturday morning, there weren't many people, but she felt herself shrink back under their scrutinizing and surprised gazes.

Lily practically shoved the girl into the spot beside Marlene, not caring that it was the Gryffindor table and not Ravenclaw; nobody cared anyway.

People were whispering things. All she heard was James, crazy, and poor girl. Whoever said anything would get a swift and threatening glare from the redhead.

Lily and Eva had become friends over the past month. Aside from Kaelyn and Adan, the girl had been super supportive of her.

When her friends pushed her a plate of food, she ate. Marlene, Kaelyn, Lily, and Adan all watched her as she did so.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"We missed you, Eva," Adan told her.

"You aren't quite yourself, but you're getting there," Kaelyn softly said.

"And you aren't forced to talk to us," Lily began, "But we are always, and will always, be here for you."

Marlene and the others nodded furiously in agreement.

Eva smiled small. "Thank you all. It means so much to me. I'm sorry if I'm a burden."

"A burden? Not at all. I can tell you who's been a burden," Lily scoffed with a roll of her eyes.

"I'm sorry Eva, but I want to knock James' head to the back of his skull," Adan grumbled.

"You know," Kaelyn started, "Sometimes people need a high-five...in the face...with a chair."

Everyone sat gaping at her.

"That's the spirit," Marlene cheered.

"Speaking of the devil," Lily grumbled.

It was hard to miss the marauder's entrance into the Great Hall.

"I thought you said you got them out," Kaelyn hissed at Adan.

"I did but they came back!"

Eva felt herself freeze stiffly. Her head was bent and her gaze firm on the plate in front of her. She wasn't hungry anymore.

"Potter."

"Lamond."

"Get the hell away from away from her."

"You can't possibly tell me that! It's been a month. A month. At least let me talk to her."

"You little dim-witted son of an ass," Kaelyn spat, bursting up from her spot on the bench.

Eyes flew between Eva, Kaelyn, and James.

"Kaelyn, I just want to talk to her."

"You are not going to talk to her. Do you know what happened the last time you did? Do you care what happened the last time you did? I got her out of her room for the first time in a month. Where have you been? Oh yeah, that's right. Your ego couldn't take more than a week. After a week you gave up on getting your sister."

"What am I doing now then? I'm here, aren't I? You all need to pick a struggle. First I'm not here, and when I am, you want to send me away. And for Merlin's sake, she's been out of bed many times! How else would she get to her classes?"

"James. Fucking. Potter," Kaelyn growled her eyes in slits. Not satisfied with his answer, she pulled her wand and put it on his chest. "You will get away right now. You will not hurt my best friend."

"You won't use that," James chuckled.

"Maybe I won't use my wand, but I can do this." Kaelyn slapped the boy across his cheek.

The whole hall went silent. Eva's face was still sat with her head in her arms. The quiet didn't seem to stop until Marlene finally spoke up.

"Now that's how it's done. Can I have a turn?" she asked eagerly.

"I think that one bites," Sirius told James, joining his side.

Before Kaelyn could touch him again, James went to his sister and placed a delicate hand on his shoulder. She shot up and slapped away his hand.

Needless to say, James was shocked by what he saw. Her face was pale and her eyes were bright red. Her cheeks were stained with tears, and her usually warm hazel eyes were filled with fury.

But the girl didn't say anything. She simply put her head back into her arms. Kaelyn shoved James out of the way before Adan made a small effort to calm her. Don't do it. Eva wouldn't want you to.

Kaelyn went to place her hand on Eva's shoulder, but when she did, the girl flinched violently. Kaelyn immediately spun around to face James.

"Look what you did now!" the girl whisper-screamed, not wanting the whole Great Hall to hear her. "Eva can't even be touched. She's scared to be touched. Get the hell away."

Eva could have sworn she heard Adan whisper, "She's hot when she's mad."

...

"Where are you going?" Kaelyn mumbled, rubbing her eyes. "It's like 11 pm."

"I'm just going to go for a walk."

"You need to sleep Ev's," she replied.

"I know, I know. I just need some fresh air." Kaelyn hesitantly nodded but didn't stop Eva when she exited their dorm room.

Eva pulled her wool sweater tight around her as the crisp autumn air flew beneath it. She wanted to go to the astronomy tower, and part of her wanted to see Regulus as well. Lucky for her, he was already sitting there, staring mindlessly at the stars. When spotting Eva, his face lit in a soft smile.

"Hey, Eva," he said gently.

"Hey." She sat down beside him, before leaning back on the roof and closing her eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked, but before she could answer, he spoke again. "Of course you're not okay. That was a dumb question."

"Is it that obvious?" Eva asked, her eyes still calmly shut.

"Other than the fact that Kaelyn and James announced it in the Great Hall? Not too noticeable."

The girl groaned quietly but knew she looked exhausted nonetheless. She felt exhausted.

"What's been on your mind?" he asked after they sat in a bit of silence.

"I assume you would know. After all, James did announce it in front of the whole school."

"But it isn't all about James, right?"

"Well, of course, part of it's James. He's been a pain in the arse. I've given him multiple chances, multiple times, but he always blows it. I want to have a reason to forgive him, but I have none. He quit trying, too. And then all of a sudden he thinks he can barge back in and talk horribly to my friends." Regulus sat silently, staring at the close-eyed girl with concern and interest. "Though of course, it's not all about James. It's nightmares too. They never seem to stop, and they keep getting more and more real. I don't know what to do honestly. So now my grades are failing, and no matter how hard I try, I'm struggling to get them up. This is the fifth year. The fifth-year, Reg. My grades are important this year."

"I think you need a break, Eva. You're going home, right?"

"Yeah, I am."

"That should be good then. At least some time to spend with your family. And in terms of the nightmares, I have something to give you."

Eva opened one eye to look at the boy. He pulled a vial of purple liquid.

"It's dreamless sleep potion," he explained. "I would've given it to you earlier, but I didn't have time to brew it. Either way, I haven't seen you too much, so I wouldn't have been able to give it to you."

"Oh my gosh, Reg," she gasped. "You're a lifesaver. I don't know why I didn't think of this earlier."

She pecked him on the cheek in thanks. His face flushed pink, but she couldn't see that under the night sky.

"Speaking of sleep, you should go now. We can talk another time. Right now, you need your rest."

That night was the first night in almost a month that Eva got to sleep.

...

"What in the name of Merlin-"

When Kaelyn woke up the next morning, she was pleasantly shocked to see her best friend of 5 years fast asleep in her bed. Her face was relaxed, without any visible concern or fright. She pulled her friend's blanket up so it was fully covering her, but the girl woke up about 10 minutes later.

"G'morning," she yawned, facing her friend who had a giddy smile on her face.

Eva peered outside of their dorm room window. The arched windows set into the walls of the room looked down at the school grounds: the lake, the Forbidden Forest, the Quidditch pitch, and the Herbology gardens. No other house in the school had such stunning views; that Eva was sure of. 

That morning wasn't gray, but a soothing lavender and brilliant amber. The colors merged into neon pink and peach. Eva had only seen so many sunrise's, for she didn't typically get up too early.

"C'mon sleepyhead," Kaelyn told her. "Get dressed and you can get some coffee in the Great Hall."