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𝙎𝙄𝙓 𝙈𝙊𝙉𝙏𝙃𝙎 𝘼𝙂𝙊
𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙮 𝙗𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙙 - 𝙗𝙧𝙮𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙧

1430 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀
𝗦𝗔𝗡 𝗗𝗜𝗘𝗚𝗢, 𝗖𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗔

"Mr. Andrews..." The therapist called lowly to try and regain my attention

"Did you hear what I asked?!" She asked with a small hopeful smile

"Yeah...you asked how I ended up here, right?!" I asked causing her to nod

𝙏𝙒𝙊 𝘿𝘼𝙔𝙎 𝘼𝙂𝙊

Feeling the frigid touch of water splash against my skin I almost immediately sobered up seeing it was Jim standing over me with a pretty pissed-off expression.

All I could wonder was what I had done now even though I had completely isolated myself from everyone since what had happened last week.

"So you're giving up on everything rather than allowing what happened last week to be your wake-up call?" He sneered as I ignored him

I had already received the separation papers from Dinah through Houston and most likely was soon to receive divorce papers as well.

There was nothing left for me to wake up to.

The best part of me had left and my heart had left right along with her.

"I told you whatever you did to not to fucking hurt her! And not only did you do that, you broke her spirit after everything you two have been through!" Jim yelled

His words made me feel worse than I did already, but, I had no words. The more I spoke the more people I ended up losing.

But, he was also right. I made my own wife run away from me when I always promised her I was the one she'd be able to run to.

I wanted to erase the mistakes I had made with the people closest to me but my words and actions had cut too deep at this point and the only thing that seemed to help dimmish the thought of everything I had lost was being lost within myself through a bottle.

"You don't want to help yourself. Fine! But, you can bet your ass I am about to become a real pain in yours! Starting with this..." He angrily ranted before heading toward my kitchen causing me to get up and follow him seeing he was in my cabinets pulling down every bottle of alcohol I had in the kitchen

"What do you want me to do?! She won't even accept my phone calls!" I said agitatedly knowing I had tried to the best of my ability

"I want you to grow up and be a fucking man! The man I watched change his entire life for an incredible woman who made him better the more he fell in love with her." He rebutted

Going to try and stop him immediately led to him grabbing me and pushing me roughly into the marble wall while holding me against it, "You want your children to think their Father is a bum, huh? This shit is poison! It's helping you ruin your fucking life!" He said with hostility in his words

"The drinking is the only thing that is helping! Okay! I could fake cope with Chase and my Mom but I can't fake cope with how much Dinah leaving hurts...It's too fucking much..." I yelled before beginning to break down causing Jim to just let me as my body grew weak and my warm tears pierced past my cheeks

"Just let it out, man. There's too much you hold in already." Jim said lowly as I continued to cry

"It hurts, this hurts so fucking much...I just want her to come home" I wept uncontrollably as I began to slide to the floor as Jim went down with me

"Listen, you had no control over what happened to your Mom and Chase and they are no longer here, unfortunately. But, Dinah is and you have a choice and a bit of control in how your and her story will end. You have unconditional love from another on an intimate level don't let the past demons of your life take that away." He stated with his words slamming through my mind

𝙉𝙊𝙒

"Sounds like you have some really good friends." Mrs. Gains said as I nodded causing her to frown a bit at my response

"Colton, I want you to use your words and remember that you're not one of my fifteen-year-old patients. You're a man with some deeply rooted issues and unresolved wounds. We're here together trying to figure this situation out. So I want us to make a pact before we continue any more of our sessions..." Mrs. Gains said sternly

"And that is...?" I asked

"No bullshit. You cry if you need to. Tell me the parts and details you feel like you don't need to. Curse. Relive the past moments one last time and then let them finally lay dormant." She said bluntly causing me to immediately think this was my Mother talking to me as she used to when I would fuck up

"So, what do you say?!" She then said with her dark and mature skin curling into a big smile

"No bullshit." I agreed causing her to nod happily

"So, I want to know more about Dinah first, and the reason I say her first is because I noticed how when I state her name in the slightest your attention perks right on up like a cute little puppy." She then said causing me to laugh lowly

"See, there we go! Loosen up!" She cheered

"What do you want to know about Dinah?!" I asked timidly beginning to play with my wedding band

"Other than everything, hmm...How'd you meet her?" Mrs. Gains asked

"She was transferred to my Seal Team. We actually got into a scuffle the first day we met." I answered causing her to burst out in laughter

"Okay, Colton, what did you do to Dinah?!" She asked jokingly

"I was taunting her and touched her cheek to be sarcastic and she slammed me to the ground," I said beginning to laugh reliving the memory as I sniffled lowly trying to waver my emotions

"I get the feeling the wife is a itty bitty thing compared to you too. Am I correct?" Mrs. Gains asked causing me to nod and her to hold her notepad against her face as she began to laugh

"In my defense, I didn't expect it and she's really strong," I replied causing her to laugh more

"Alright, well, new question! How old are you and Dinah?!" She then asked eagerly

"I'm 33 and she's 28," I answered causing her to giggle more

"I'm sorry Colton this isn't like the usual stuff I hear so I am a bit taken aback by you and your wife." She explained with a smile

"You're fine. It is funny." I then said while smiling and hearing Dinah's laughter ringing through my mind knowing she would be laughing right along with Mrs. Gains

"Well, Colton, what's the first thing you think of when you think of Dinah?" She then asked

"I think of everything because she's everything in the world and the worlds beyond this one to me..." I said before feeling a tear run down my cheek as Mrs. Gains looked at me with a saddened expression

"Have you told her that, honey?!" Mrs. Gains then asked

"I used to tell her every day. Then I came home from my last tour and thought my drinking would keep the nightmares and blackouts from happening. I mean, it worked after everything with my Mom and Brother. But, I guess that type of therapy doesn't work when you're married to a great woman who cares about you in every aspect. My drinking did nothing but turn me into an asshole, push her away hurtfully and tell her a bunch of things I shouldn't have and didn't mean. It's like my words became bullets and she was my favorite target. And, the thing that breaks me down the most is the fact that in one of our last conversations, I told my wife that I hated the fact I married her. And...I can't take that back and it's breaking my heart the more I replay it along with the events that led to her leaving our house." I began to rant before taking a breath in hopes it'd keep me from breaking down

"It just feels like the more we're apart the more she's going to believe all of the stupid shit I told her. I fought against her with my mental state, instead of fighting with her against it and now I've made one too many mistakes and am scared I will going to lose the best thing that's happened to me." I said before hanging my head down and beginning to cry

"I-i just want to hold her and let her know I fucking love her so much sometimes it makes it hard for me to think and I can't even do that..." I sobbed before feeling Mrs. Gains arm wrap around me

"Colton, sweetheart, she knows you don't mean it. She's just pissed off and you may have to do some work to get back on track as far as your marriage but we are going to try and if we can get Dinah involved in your sessions we can do that too." She consoled causing me to nod

Maybe if I asked her first hand to join me relive everything one last time maybe that could give her further enlightenment on the things she knows little to nothing of so we could close this part of our lives out entirely.

I just want to find her heart and soul again so ours could be one again. No matter how much I may have to exploit myself and apologize to show her I'm there for her and our kids.

A/N: I struggled not gonna lie! Butttt, Colton's in therapy! What are you guys thinking?! Remember to vote, comment, share, follow me, and add to your library!! Love yaaa🖤🖤🖤