The scenery that passed me was so familiar, yet distant. The Hogwarts Express was taking us all the way to Hogwarts, where I would finally begin my fifth year. I had gone home for the summer- back to London- but it was time to return.

I sat with my best friend, Esme, and we both chatted a bit about our summers. Of course, since she's a pure blood, she spent all summer in Hogsmeade with her family. While I, on the other hand, had to spend summer babysitting.

"So, what's been going on here while I was gone?" I asked, turning my gaze from the fields of bright green grass back to Esme, who was fidgeting with her fingernails.

"Well, not too much that I know of. But, I have something to tell you." She smiled, an easy grin folding onto her full lips. I knitted my brows together, waiting for her to finish. "Ron and I are... Dating." She said quietly, moving her brown eyes away from my gaze.

I was unsure of what to say, or even do for a few moments, then I realized she was eager for a response. "Esme, that's... Amazing!" I exclaimed, giving her a broad smile. She breathed an obviously sigh of relief, and allowed her eyes to meet mine again.

She was obviously nervous about the whole thing, almost like she was unsure of what else to say. "I like him, a lot. He's so sweet." She said calmly, turning her attention back to the window.

Though I wanted to be happy for her, truly, a small feeling inside of me wept; the lonely part of me. The part of me that was afraid I'd never like anyone how Esme likes Ron. It's always been a fear of mine, but it only seems to grow worse.

Just as I was about to sulk, Ron appeared coming down the walkway, straight toward Esme and I. "Don't look now." I said with a raise of my eyebrow, keeping my eyes on him. Almost instantly, she turned her head.

When their eyes met I could feel the sparks fly. He dashed toward her and gave her a great big smile, then a hug, then he slid into the seat with her. "Look at you two lovebirds." I said plainly, a hint of jealously noticeable in my voice.

Esme smiled and nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. Her dark brown curly hair fell perfectly over him. "You have no idea how much I've missed you." He said gingerly, running his hands through the top of her hair.

At that point I just looked out the window and seemingly turned off my hearing, focusing only on the visuals passing me. Though I wanted to be happy for them, truly, it seemed too gushy for me; too lovey-dovey.

The rest of the train ride was quite slow. I was busy tuning out the universe, while Esme and Ron fell asleep on one another. Though, the moment the train stopped, I slid out of the chair and into the isle, stretching my arms and legs.

We had arrived, finally, at the docking station. I reached overhead and grabbed- well- tried to grab my bag. I was just too short to reach them. Looking down the isle, I saw no one but Blaise, Pansy, and Draco Malfoy.

Since Esme and Ron were still... Being "madly in love", I spoke over to the group of Slytherin's. "Can one of you help me, please?" I asked blandly. None of them turned for a few moments, then a blond head of hair looked straight at me, sky blue eyes piercing into my soul.

A shiver trailed down my spine. He had given me a gutting look. Before I had a chance to say nevermind, he was making his way toward me at a quick pace, a light smirk pulling over his left cheek.

Instead of grabbing it and placing it on the ground, like any normal human being, he pushed it off of the shelf. I jumped back as it hit the floor. The sound of items, clothing, and anything else valuable crashing inside.

He looked down and smiled at his handy work, then raised an eyebrow at me. "It's at your height now, isn't it?" He asked with a sheepish voice. I rolled my eyes and hardened my expression, trying to give him my best 'you're a bitch look.'

Before he had a chance to kick it or anything, I bent down and grabbed the handle of my backpack. When I rose back up, to my feet, his face was hovering a few inches in front of mine, pale skin gleaming before me.

"Watch it, mudblood." He growled. Despite his voice sounding murderous, his eyes twinkled with something different. I sighed in his face then turned and made my way down the isle. Though, as I walked, I could feel his blue eyes burning into me, like he was waiting for me to apologize or something.

But, I kept walking, all the way to the doors, where I got off and began making my way toward the docks, where the boats waited.

Though Draco Malfoy has never uttered a single word to me, his eyes looked wretched, like they could pierce a million knives into my skin.

***

When I made it to the docks, eventually, I was exhausted and absolutely ready to be in the comfort of the Gryffindor common room. It was absolutely freezing, mostly due to the light rain that sprinkled onto my face and neck.

Soon enough, Hagrid began ushering the students into the boats. As I was standing in line, waiting my turn, a familiar hand slid onto my shoulder— Esme. "Where did you go earlier?" She asked quietly, standing next to me.

I looked over at her for a moment, before focusing on the boats once again. "I'm sorry, I have a miserable headache." I replied evenly, hardening my gaze on the boats. It was a simple white lie, one that couldn't hurt anyone.

Esme raised an eyebrow in my direction. "Are you sure? You seemed... Upset." She replied quietly, moving her hand off my shoulder. I shook my head in response, trying to urge her to believe me. "I'm sure. I've had once since we got to nine and three quarters." I said bluntly, the lies slipping from my tongue like silk.

She nodded then turned around, back toward the train. "I'm gonna go get Ron, see you tomorrow!" She exclaimed, excitement pulling in her voice. I nodded as she left, though every bone inside of me was aching with jealousy.

Usually I don't easily get jealous, but Esme is my best friend, and she's so madly in love. I want to be happy for her, truly, I do, but every part of me has wanted to feel how she feels for so long.

Before I could drown in my thoughts, Hagrid yelled my name. "Y/n! Come grab a seat." His voice boomed. I walked onto the dock, trying not to think about how freezing the water may be if I slipped in.

I sat at the back, next to two Hufflepuff girls who were talking about their crushes. Just as I did on the train ride, I blocked their voices from my mind completely and focused on the deep, dark water we waded through.

Soon enough we arrived at the school. I was more than ready to get off. Just as Hagrid tied the boat onto the school docks, I basically flew out of the boat. I had enough crush talk for one day.

I began walking toward the school, the brown leather backpack of mine hanging over my shoulder. "Y/n! I feel like it's been forever!" A gentle voice spoke next to me. I turned to see Hermione
Granger— an old friend of mine.

"Hermione! It's so good to see you!" I exclaimed, a beaming smile filling my cheeks. She nodded with the same excitement as I carried, matching my steps as we climbed up the staircase.

"I truly missed you over the summer. Did you do anything exciting?" She asked, voice full of curiosity. I truly couldn't think of anything remotely happy except for the fact that I found a hundred dollar bill on the sidewalk.

"Truly nothing at all. How about you?" I asked, nudging her slightly with my elbow, playfulness claiming my voice. She smiled and laughed, climbing the steps at my pace.

"Well, I learned how to drive, I learned how to play the violin, and I wrote the start of a book!" She exclaimed with pure happiness, cheeks red from all the smiling she had been doing.

I smiled with her. "Well, seems like one of us has a good summer." I laughed.

Finally, the steps came to an end. We were met by two gigantic doors; which would lead us into Hogwarts. A few moments later, Hagrid and some of the other students appeared up the steps.

We all waited patiently for a few a moments, staring at the doors. Then, just like that, they began opening. Slowly, but surely. Just as the doors had opened to their full length, a familiar grey-bearded someone came into view- Professor Dumbledore.

He smiled and waved for us all to come inside, and surely, we began inside like a herd of wild sheep. Hermione and I stuck close to one another, our shoulders brushing against the others every few seconds as we got pushed this way and that way.

Soon enough we made it to the first year students, where we greeted them and chatted a bit about Hogwarts. Then, finally, we were allowed to our common rooms.

I basically sprinted up to the Gryffindor tower, I was more than ready to be fast asleep. Hermione had decided to walk back with Harry, so I took advantage of being the first one in there and picked out my bed- the one furthest from everyone else's.

I sat down my bag and opened it eagerly, seeing if anything was damaged. Surely enough, the framed family photo of my mother, father, and I was cracked. It was absolutely heart wrenching to see, knowing that Malfoy did it.

I cursed him, and myself silently for letting it happen, then set the cracked frame on my beside table.

From that moment forward I vowed to myself that I would never, ever let Draco get his way again. If he's going to treat me like shit, I'm going to do the same thing to him— no matter how terrifying he may be.