Illness and anxiety roils in Katherine's stomach as they approach Sam's bedroom in a hotel that boasted six stars out of seven in its neon sign hanging off the side of the building.

Russell got a good laugh out of that.

The hallway is dark and smells like years of dust have stuck to the threads of the green-brown carpet. Red placards of different shapes are fixed to the wooden doors...clubs, diamonds, hearts, spades.

Sam's room is a heart, 206 stamped in the middle, black.

Nausea settles in her gut, and her mouth curves as Dean glances to Bobby before he knocks on the door.

I'm gonna be sick.

Russell moves away from her, paws shifty and dark eyes looking over her in worry. I knew it was a bad idea to come.

The idea of staying in bed is appealing, but there was no way she wasn't helping Dean. Conversely, while she was eager to see the state of Sam, she didn't necessarily have a desire to speak to him in the near future.

He left her.

Her best friend left her.

A petite, dark-haired woman answers the beckoning of Dean's fist. Katherine leans a weak hand into the wall, trying hard to breathe through her nose and will the nausea away. The smell of the hallway isn't helping her in the least. Someone might be smoking pot on this floor.

Did I ever tell you about my one really horrible experience with weed? Russell asks.

So not the time.

Yeah...maybe you're right.

"So where is it?" The woman asks. Katherine can barely see the top of her head over the shoulders of Dean and Bobby.

Katherine can feel Russell's questioning eyes all over her. Kit, you're pale.

I'm gonna yak.

Russell lets out a bark, startling Dean and Bobby. Katherine slaps a hand over her mouth and stumbles forward, pushing through Bobby and past the small woman. She follows Russell through the room, past a giant of a man who is inevitably Sam.

It smells so strange in here...and the feel of the room...it's like wearing a too-tight sweater.

She heaves into the toilet, but nothing comes up. There's nothing to come up.

You're just really nervous, Russell says, resting his head on her shoulder. A negative emotion pushes against his mind, and he withdraws his head and trades it for a paw on her hip.

You don't need to watch this.

My eyes are definitely closed, but thanks for the concern.

Bile. Nerves.

Something feels weird in here, Katherine says. There's commotion in the room behind her.

Russell is quiet for a few moments. She can tell he's trying to find what it is she's referring to. I don't feel anything off.

Katherine's shaky hand reaches for the lever, and she sits away from the toilet with stinging eyes.

We should find you some saltines, Russell continues. No way that soup is still good.

She waits a moment, hand resting over the brown paw on her knee, and breathes through her nose, lips pinched together.

Something's wrong, she says.

Yeah, you haven't eaten.

It's not that. Katherine slowly pushes herself from the floor and leans over for the sink. Rinses her mouth with cold water. It's not magic, either...it's something else.

His eyes wander the walls of the bathroom, and he even leans over to peer into the main room...but he can't find anything that feels off to him. Unless, of course, the fact that this room has a window that opens to a very dark alley is taken into consideration.

In the main room, everyone's gazes are shifting between each other. The awkward energy is tangible.

"So are you two, like...together?" The woman asks.

Katherine shuffles her feet to sit on the cream sofa. "What?" Sam breathes. "No! He's my brother."

Russell eyes the latest Winchester brother as he slowly moves behind Katherine. He's a big boy. Bet he'd go yard any day.

Sam is the most unathletic person I know, but he can run.

Russell is still eyeing him in awe. Pat might have some competition in the ripped lumberjack department.

The idea of Sam hacking it as a lumberjack almost makes her want to snort. She didn't notice the woman rush into the bathroom, emerge in new clothes, or leave. But she felt the second Sam laid eyes on her, and her skin started to crawl.

I'm finding it very difficult to not make this about me, she admits to Russell, fingers picking at a thread in the knee of her jeans. Anger swirls with anxiety, and it just bubbles in her stomach. The nausea has turned into trembling fingers. It's not like anything bad is going to happen if she looks at Sam...but if she does, then it's going to hit her all at once, and it'll be worse because she's sober.

What's new? Russell teases. He's leaning his body into her shins, a comforting weight.

Suddenly, she'd rather be anywhere but here. In the pouring rain on the ranch with three trash bags over her cast, herding cattle into another pasture because someone clipped the fence again. In a line that only has one self-checkout and the idiot doesn't know how to add his produce and has well over ten items. Delivering her valedictorian speech.

Russell lights up with a question, but doesn't ask.

Finally, Katherine looks up, blue eyes like daggers as she lays them on Sam, who stops in his tracks. She can see his thoughts all over his face, like reading a book. Too thin, broken, sallow.

Well I think you look pretty damn hot, Russell chirps. Flu and all. She doesn't have anything to say.

"Katherine," Sam breathes.

Her mouth puckers, and she looks away from him. Fingertips play in Russell's soft golden brown fur.

"Did you bring Dean back?" She asks, forcing her eyes to pin him where he stands.

He doesn't look like he's been grieving, not like she thought. Not like she was.

He's tan, and his hair is shorter, and he's jacked. It looks like he's had the best summer of his life...and here she is. Having had the worst of hers, and it shows.

Sam just blinks at her.

"Did you make a deal to bring Dean back?" Katherine asks, louder this time.

"You think I made a deal?" Sam breathes.

"That's what I just said."

"Well, I didn't," he snaps, brows pinched together over familiar hazel eyes. Eyes that are still running over her, trying to figure out what's changed, how it's changed.

Leaning his back against the front door, Dean scoffs. "Don't lie."

Sam opens his palms as he twists at the hip to look at his brother. "I'm not lying!"

Dean's jaw hardens. "I didn't want to be saved like this! You on the hook instead of me. That's why I did it in the first place!"

"Look, I wish I had done it!" Sam shouts. "I tried everything, and that's the truth!" He turns to look at Katherine. "That's why I left."

Her biceps tighten with the urge to throw something at him. But she stays on the couch, jaw clenched, tongue burning. She takes a deep breath.

"I tried opening the Devil's Gate, and I tried to make a bargain," Sam continues, looking at her still. Pleading. "No demon would deal!"

"And you didn't come back!" Katherine shouts. "You didn't so much as send a goddamn email! And I—" She chokes on her words. Runs her dry tongue along the roof of her mouth.

She wasn't trying to blame Sam for her behavior...but she couldn't shake the feeling that if she at least had him, it wouldn't have been so bad. Was that a bad thing to think? Was that a bad thing to do?

With acid on her tongue, her eyes snap back to Sam, and she snarls, "If you didn't make a deal, then why the hell are you back here?"

"I didn't come back because I was hunting Lilith," Sam replies, venom coating his tongue. A low growl blooms deep in Russell's chest.

Katherine's nostrils flare and her eyes narrow. "Oh, all by yourself?" She spits. "God, Sam, you're such an idiot!"

Sam opens his mouth to snap back, but Bobby intervenes. "Let's dial this down a little," he says. "Sam...you got anything cold and hoppy in that fridge?"

Sam flexes his fingers and then sighs, turning for the refrigerator in the kitchenette. Katherine pushes herself off of the sofa and stalks for the front door. Dean moves out of the way, watching her yank it open and slam it shut behind her dog's tail.

"Where the fuck is she going?" Sam asks, peering around the corner. Dean's jaw ticks to the right as he crosses his arms again.

Bobby, sitting on the edge of the bed, sighs. "I'll go make sure she doesn't walk into oncoming traffic."

"That's not funny," Dean gently chides as he opens the door for him. Bobby waves him off and pulls the door closed behind him.

Sam uncaps two bottles and moves for the sofa. "Glad to see she's angrier than ever," he mutters.

"Don't you think she has a right to be?"

Sam shrugs. "She's got a dog and you're back."

"Sam, how long did it take you to leave her?" Sam sighs, leaning forward to rest his face in his hands. "I told you to look after her and you couldn't even do that."

"Why was it my job to look after her?!" Sam explodes. "I know that sounds horrible, but think about it. I lost my brother. I don't have anyone if I don't have you! She has Charlie!"

Dean runs his tongue over his teeth in a way that's collecting and calm and patient. "Charlie was murdered, Sam." He's debating telling him who else Katherine lost. Who Dean hasn't had time or energy to grieve. What good would come of it? Katherine might kill him in his sleep...and knowing Sam, he'd throw a fit if he found out they didn't tell him something.

You're not supposed to kick a man when he's down. And Sam's down. His face goes pale, and his jaw drops, and his eyes lock on Dean's face like they're wax.

"What?" He breathes.

It isn't computing. Charlie can't be dead...let alone murdered. He's Charlie.

"How was I supposed to know that?" He regretted the words the moment he said them.

"You would've known that if you picked the phone up," Dean sighs. The calm delivery of it was exponentially worse than if he would've shouted it. Sam would have much preferred to be yelled at. "Family sticks together, Sam. She would've helped you find Lilith, even if it killed her."

Slowly, Sam nods. "That's why I didn't tell her." Dread pools in his stomach.

He'll never see Charlie again. Neither will Katherine. This feeling is horrible.

"Kid, you're in no shape to be walking around."

Katherine doesn't so much as turn around. The air is filled with the smell of rain, which she'd never particularly liked until recently, and a hint of food from a few blocks down, which turns her stomach.

"I'm fine, Bobby," she says, reaching up to rub her nose. Footfalls behind her quicken until he's in step with her. She looks to her right with raised eyebrows.

"I haven't seen you storm out of a room since I grounded you when you were fifteen," he says, a hint of a smile pulling at his lips.

"Oh, yeah? What offense?"

Bobby sucks air between his teeth as he thinks. "Oh, I can't remember anymore." As his squinted eyes fall from the bright afternoon sky, they settle on her casted right arm. He remembers the series of frantic voice messages he received in the middle of the night just weeks ago. He remembers laying eyes on her as she hobbled across the threshold of his front door, how blue and purple she was. And she just fell into his arms and cried and cried and cried. She couldn't even tell him why she was crying, but Russell, striding inside with a gait similar to hers, said that Clay Donovan was dead.

"It's all right to be mad," Bobby tells her.

Katherine swallows hard, sucking at her teeth. He can tell she's suppressing an eye roll. "I know," she grits through her teeth.

And she can understand how hard it might be to talk to someone like this, to talk to her as angry as she is...so he deserves credit there. But she just doesn't want to talk about it, at the risk of sounding whiney and self-centered. She'll rant to Russell, who's never lectured her, but she'd listen if he did. She'd probably be deserving it.

A glimmer of a smile shimmers in her mind, radiating from her four-legged companion.

"Sam's just a real selfish son of a bitch," Katherine mumbles. "And I'm only just now realizing it."

Bobby takes a deep breath, bobbing his head side to side as he considers. "I can see why you'd think that."

Katherine pulls a face. "If you're walking with me, you're gonna hear me bitch, and I don't want a lecture in return."

I wasn't gonna lecture you, babe," he hums. "Just...trying to seem impartial."

'Seem' is looking like a glowing key word, Russell says. Katherine's eyes slink down to him for the briefest of seconds.

She really needs to stop doing that.

Seem impartial...

Katherine comes to a halt, and Bobby turns to look at her. Then his eyes narrow. "I don't like the way you're lookin'."

She shrugs a shoulder. "I don't look like anything."

Bobby shakes his head, squaring up to her. "No...you look like you did when you came home from summer school. Someone put gum in your hair and you leveled 'em."

She blinks. "Well he fuckin' deserved it."

"You can't go up there and deck Sam."

"Well he fuckin' deserves it!"

"He might, but hitting family because you're pissed is different than hitting someone who put their hands on you first."

"So I just have to get Sam to put hands on me first?" Bobby huffs. "Well can I cuss him out, at least?"

"You get three 'motherfuckers' and that's it."