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ƈɦ.31-IT'S NOT FUNNY, KOL. I'M A HOUSEDIGGER

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It's been three months since I found out I was pregnant. And I need to tell you that pregnancy is a pain in the ass. And I'm not the only one who thinks this. Everyone is becoming wary of the knocked-up girls in our group. Everyone.

Hayley is on her way to her third trimester and is getting really big. Not that we can say it to her face. She'd throw a desk at us. No shit. Rebekah and Davina are also along their second trimester and I just entered mine.

It is now December and everything is going awesome. At least that's what I thought. There have been two problems lately. Ok. There have been multiple problems.

First of all, after our group talks about names and everyone picking one afterward we don't really have anything else baby-related to do. The names are awesome BTW. First, we have my babies.

James Henrick and India Lyra Mikaelson.

Then we have Davina's baby who is to be named either, Silas Peter Parker or Atlas Mia Parker.

Then Hope Andrea Mikaelson but that was kind of expected.

And finally, Bekah's who is to be named either, Scarlett Arabella Salvatore or Damon Nick Salvatore. I like both! Love them actually.

Anyway, my next problem is the fucking morning symptoms and mood swings. Which no one is safe from. Not even Kol. But his insanity does help keep me sane. If that made sense.

My next problem is I have no idea what we're doing for Christmas. All the pregnant girls (and Caroline!) are discussing this because no one can handle us. They left everything to us and are waiting for the orders.

Another problem is and Bonnie are not on great terms. We had a huge dramatic fight. She was being a bitch, to be honest. Saying that I was being irresponsible and creating new species of the supernatural for nothing. With these new species, she meant my babies. So I told her I'm the Goddess of the Supernatural and Chaos and will do this thing called what I want. She then told me the power is going to my head and I kindly told her to fuck off. We haven't really talked after that.

Problem number something, I'm trying to find another place to live in. And let me tell you the world of real estate ain't easy. I and Kol are moving in together for obvious reasons. Jenna and Rick already moved in together as they are married. Anna is moving in with Jer.

This is not a problem but more of a statement. I love my baby bro. He's so cute. He gave me this whole speech about kids and how he was so happy for me and was always here for me. We ended up snuggling in a bed with me telling one of our old bedtime stories to him and the twins.

My last and main problem are the fucking travelers who fucking kidnapped me and think they can get away with it. I could just leave but it's funny to mess with them

I'll explain. I was just walking out of the Tree, prancing along the woods, humming the song Hanging Tree, which now that I think of it was kind of creepy mainly because I was alone in the forest with cute pink hair and blood covering my clothes. Don't ask about the blood. It just happened.

Anyway, I was walking and suddenly someone gave me one of those brain things and I passed out. Fucking great right? No.

I woke up in fucking nowhere with dudes with weird accents muttering mambo jumbo. I know one of them is named Markos but honestly,  they'll all just die anyway what's the point in getting acquainted. When they saw I woke up they gave me this whole speech about myself. I'll retell it for you guys.

"Doppelganger you are an abomination to your kind." A scruffy guy said (from what I remember) and I grin at him.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Your blood is not pure anymore and you have no purpose for us. You are dangerous and need to be contained." He continued with this bullshit speech.

"Bitch please, my blood is the purest there is and I do not need to be contained. I need a tub of ice cream a movie and the father of my babies."

"Those babies will be our destruction. Half-breeds!" One of them snarled and I glared at them.

"Shut the fuck up before I make you, you mut."

"You cannot do a single thing. We blocked your magic. You are no longer linked to nature and we can kill you."

"Honey, let me tell you something" I started, "I can do a lot more with one thought than you did all your life. Secondly, you are right I am not linked to nature. Thirdly go ahead and try assholes."

"You sure think a lot of yourself while being held, hostage." One of them said.

"So you heard of me, yeah?" I ask bluntly ignoring the guy.

"You have become indeed known in the supernatural. A powerful witch. And all the supernatural agree that you must be eliminated."

"Pity you don't know the whole story," I say sarcastically, "You honestly think you can contain me?" I ask them. "Have you seen my blood by any chance?" I ask and they glance at each other.

"What about we kill her babies first? A few good stabs will do." I heard one of them snicker and something in me snapped. They can threaten me all they want. It's not like it'll work anyway. But my babies are a whole other thing. And I won't fucking back down for a fight and look down. The only time I will do that is to admire someone's shoes. And they better be fucking worth it.

I let the chains disappear and stood up dusting my clothes off casually. Then a really stupid man came charging into me and I did what any sane person would do. I turned him into a bug and stepped on it. Then I looked up to see all the Travelers looking at me in fear and I grinned, "It's been a pleasure gentlemen and gentlewoman but I'm afraid I must take my leave. I'd say go to hell but I don't want to go there and have to deal with you all over again." I say bowing dramatically at the people around me that by me saying that seemed to snap out of it and came charging at me. The thing is, as soon as a blond girl started to give me one of those headaches that hurt like a bitch her head was ripped off her shoulders. Side note, It wasn't me.

"I was wondering where you'd went, darling." A really hot-looking Kol smirks at me with a metal baseball bat hanging on his shoulders dirty with the blood from the blond bitch.

"Kill them! Kill them both!" A man growled and I and Kol looked at each other with an amused glance.

"He's an original!" One of them says and I bless his IQ for not being that low. "We can't kill him."

"We can contain him." A brunette says and the next second she doesn't have a head anymore. This time it was me.

"Darling, you amaze me," Kol says huskily as he rips another head off the shoulders. Now it's just a game. I spelled the Travelers so they are stuck in the same place and they're just shouting at us in some language as I and Kol compete to see who can rip more heads off. He's winning. But then again I'm pregnant and that totally is a valid excuse. After this massive killing spree which I must admit left me exhausted Kol apparated us to the front of a house. The thing is I don't know whose house this is.

The house is more like a manor really. It's huge. And beautiful. It's like my dream house. It looks old and refined and yet modern. Its outside walls are white and the doors and windows are painted green as vines grow through the outside walls. I'm in awe. Who the fuck lives here? And how did I not make friends with him/her? I mean with a house like this... The weekends I could have had.

Kol nudges me and I snap out of my gold-fish gaping position and turn to him. Kol is wearing a proud grin on his face as he looks at me and then the house. And being over the fact the house is beautiful I can't help but melt at his image. He's wearing blue jeans and a simple white t-shirt that is now covered in blood and he just looks like a disheveling hot mess.

"A picture lasts longer, Alma." He smirks and I glare at him, "Arent  you going to say anything?"

"Yeah. Who owns this place? And how can I become friends with them?" I ask and he laughs, "It's not funny Kol. I'm a housedigger. I like beautiful houses. Now shut up and answer me."

"We own it."

"Ah-ha. Very funny."

"I'm being serious, darling. I built it. Well, I magicked it but it's all the same in the end." He explains, "Kai also made one for him and Davina. Ours is much better though."

"So we own this place?" I ask him with narrowed eyes and he nods, "You know I'd be happy with an apartment, right? No need for all the dramatic shit."

"I'm dramatic by default, darling. Now, do you like it?" He asks as he wraps his arms around my waist and I wrap mine around his neck.

"I love it." I grin, "Does it have a pool?" I ask and he laughs but nods anyway, "Cool, cool, cool. Can I just add something?" I ask him and he frowns but nods. I step out of his arms and kneel on the floor. I place my hands on the grass and let myself feel nature running through my veins. The next thing I know the vines growing in front of the house is sprouting little blue and yellow flowers all over. I grin at my work and stand up.

"Shall we go in?" Kol asks and I squeal and run inside. As soon as I did I enjoyed the greatness of this place. It's so simple yet wonderful. The walls are white but the details and designs on the rims make up for it. The floor is medium dark hardwood and all the furniture is wooden or just awesome. It isn't a type of classic house. It actually reminds me of my old house. In my other life. It has that bohemian look that just makes me fall in love.

I spent the next hours exploring each corner with Kol trailing behind me grinning like a madman. One of the things I loved was the dining room. Its table was beautiful. A long chunk of wood - when I say this I mean the whole table was just one piece - with wooden chairs of various styles that fitted together. I also loved the kitchen with counters of a beautiful dark teal with white marble tops. Also the tiles on the bathrooms and the living room... I just loved it. It's my dream house and I'm pretty sure Kol knows that. He's come to know me better than anyone else. After exploring the house we got changed out of our bloody clothes, took a shower, and laid in bed.

"They know about me," I whisper as I lay my head on his chest tracing random patterns on his bare chest.

"Who knows?"

"The supernatural world. They know of me. Not that I'm a Goddess but that I should be killed." I say.

"You can't be killed, darling." He says reassuringly.

"But our babies can," I whisper.

"Then we'll just pop heads of shoulders and hearts of chests." He says simply and I snort, "No one is going to be able to hurt our kids. We'll protect them and teach them to protect themselves."

"Do you think we can do this?" I ask as my hand subconsciously goes to my, now, showing a baby bump. "We haven't even dated for more than six months or so and we're having kids, Kol. Hell, we act like kids sometimes."

"I know I love you and the babies. I honestly don't care about how long we've been together." He shrugs and I nod in understanding, "I'm here for you. All three. And I finally feel like I'm living. After a thousand years."

"Can we make our kids like us?" I ask him and he smirks, "It'd be so boring to have boring kids." I say and then gasp, "Kol, what if our kids don't have a sense of humor or are slightly sadistic?"

"Don't fret, darling with us as parents our kids will be wicked." He grins.

"Thank god." I sigh. "By the way, you looked totally hot today."

"You looked ravishing." He says back and I smirk, "What do you think of the house?"

"It reminds me of my house in my old life. But ten times bigger." I say happily.

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A/N: I know there's been a lot of debate about India as a name.

To be honest it didn't even occur to me it could be offensive, but clearly I was out of my game here. I won't change the name because I feel like it fits the character even though she has nothing to do with the country India.

India is a name that's pretty popular from where I come from and has a different meaning other than just being a country's name. and since I was a kid has been a favorite; personally I don't want to hurt anyone, but from the comments I feel like you're all just ticked about it so let's make a deal: I won't change the name cause that would be a lot of work and you guys replace it in your heads with whatever. I hear Lydia is a suggestion going around.

Again I'm sorry if I offended someone, and believe that I chose the name India out of innocent childhood memories where I would imagine being called as such because I used to hate my own name.

Anyway, enjoy the story!

~ Lexi

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