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CHAPTER 35
Annie
HEALING
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        AFTER MOM AND I GOT HOME,  I planned to just stay in my room until dinner. As I was walking down the hall, I spotted Dad in his office. I figured that he was busy concentrating on his new book so I just knocked on the door quietly but loud enough for him to hear me. Dad turns to me and gives me a warm smile, He has his glasses on which makes him more older and professional. His hair is somewhat messy, probably because he’s been up here for hours. “Hey honey, how was your appointment?” He asks, closing his laptop and turns his office chair around to face me. “Fine.” I say, walking over to him. “And you need a shave.” I say. Dad laughs.
        “I guess I do.” He says, touching his jaw. We stay in silence for a short while until Dad speaks up. “What’s wrong Annie. The last time you had that frown was when Dr. Atler told you that you can’t go to Greece.” Dad asks, lifting my chin up. I shrug my shoulders “Nothing.” I lie. “I can tell when you’re lying, you shrug your shoulders.” He pokes my shoulder playfully. “No I don’t.” I lie. “You’re doing it again.” Dad points out. I groan playfully and lean against his desk. I stand there in silence just thinking of an excuse to use instead of telling him the actual truth. “What’s really going on, Annie?” He presses. 
        I hesitated and took a deep breath before saying, “I’m mad. And sad. Mostly mad, at myself. For not stopping him from leaving, I was awake the whole time Dad. I could’ve opened my eyes. I could’ve said something, but I just laid there. And did nothing.” I sob, and put my hand over my eyes. I can hear Dad’s chair movie before I feel his arms around me. “I miss him Dad, I really do.” I sob into his shirt. "I know honey, it's going to hurt at first, but if you truly love someone, you have to let them go. I know it's going to be hard, but trust me, you're a strong girl and you will get through this." We let go of our embrace, I wipe my tears away and Dad speaks up again. "Annie, listen, I just want to apologize..." "For what?" I ask, confusion laced in my voice.
      “Just for not being there when you needed me the most. I know I wasn’t the best father I could’ve been for you. I mean, I've obviously acted distant with you and I should’ve never been like that. Just because you're going through this, it doesn't give me the right to push you away, and I'm sorry. I guess, what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry, and I want to start over with you. I mean, so what if you're different than me, your mother, or your sister, being different is what makes you who you are and the amazing daughter I know and love. I love you Annie and I would really appreciate it if you gave me a second chance to be the father I know I can be." Dad says, I could see the tears in his eyes. 
       “It’s fine Dad, really. And you’re wrong, you are the best dad anyone could ask for.” I say, tears falling down my cheeks. “I love you, Annie.” Dad says. “I love you too, Dad.” I say, winning my eyes with my sleeve.
      “You better go, dinner’s almost ready and I have to finish this last chapter.” Dad says, motioning to his laptop. I chuckle, “Thanks Dad.” Dad smiles and nods before turning back to his laptop. I walk back out the door, shutting it and going downstairs for dinner, thinking about what Dad said. Maybe everything will be okay in the end. Maybe. 
        I sat smiling brightly as I watched my parents and Ginny laugh, eat, and enjoy each other’s company during dinner. I really missed this. “Annie, sweetie. You hardly said anything. What’s wrong?”Mom asks, turning towards me. 
       I realized that I had zoned out, “Huh? Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just miss being home is all.” I say and we continue to eat. I walk around my room, fiddling with the necklace that Julian gave me. I turn around and start unpacking some of my suitcase. I pulled out a picture frame with a picture of me and Julian laying in his bed  in his room, I remember that day vividly: I was laying against his shoulder as I kissed his cheek while he grinned like he was the luckiest person on the planet. 
       Our voices echoed in my head over and over, I didn’t even realize I was crying until a tear fell on the glass of the frame. I felt like throwing the picture but instead, I walked over to my bedside table and placed it there gently looking at it for another second before going back to my bed. I grab several books from my bag and walk over to my bookshelf, I put my books on the shelf before I stop. I notice that inside one of my books, is a slip of paper. 
      I pull out the paper and place the book on the shelf. I walk over to my bed and lay down on my stomach looking at the paper, I realize that it’s an envelope. I hesitated for a moment before deciding to open it. Oh my god.  I put a hand over my mouth, tears immediately falling down my cheeks as I look at the familiar handwriting:
     My dearest Annie,
 

  I cannot tell you how much you mean to me. That being said, I'm probably going to tell you anyway. 
    I fell in love with you the moment I saw you in your hospital room. Your hair was in a ponytail, out of the way of your beautiful face, you were wearing a white cardigan with your phone in your hand and all you stuff and  your backpack on your floor (probably filled to the brim with books), a light blue shirt and blue jeans and your white converse sneakers. You’re probably thinking “Wow, Stalker much?” But, I was a fool in love. I still am. When I first laid my eyes on yours, I knew something about you intrigued me and I wasn't willing to let go of an infatuation. That day you passed by my room and looked into it, you thought I didn't see you, but I did, and I'm glad I saw you. If I didn't see you that day, I was afraid I might never have the chance to see you again. So I followed you. I had to follow you because something inside me was telling me to follow that beautiful girl and speak to her.
      When you didn't take a liking to me right away, I knew you were someone I had to hold onto. From that day on, we were "friends," but I didn't want to be "friends," I wanted you, all of you. I wanted the whole bag that came with the amazing Annie Grace, her beautiful smile, her gorgeous eyes that light up so bright when she sees, or talks, about something she's so passionate about. I wanted Annie Grace and I simply couldn't let her go, not then, not now, nor ever. Sadly though, I had to let you go when we had finally become something more. 
       I know you are hurting my love, but I had to do what was right because I knew, as much as I wanted us to be together, we simply couldn't. Just know, that this decision was not the easiest, but it had to be done. I love you Annie Grace, and I always will, no matter how far apart we are. You will always be my home, my everything.
      Sincerely, Julian
      By the time I finished the letter, tears were spilling my eyes. I can’t believe he wrote that. I get off my bed and go over to my desk and take an empty picture frame and place the letter inside and put it on my bedside table next to the picture of me and Julian.  I get changed for bed and get in my comforters before looking at the picture of us one last time before turning my light out.