━━━━ 🌼 ━━━━
CHAPTER 9
Annie
SKATING AND SHALLOW WATERS
━━━━ 🌼 ━━━━

JANUARY

<>Time Of Our Lives by; Pitbull ft.  Ne-Yo

     "5...4...3...2...1... HAPPY NEW YEAR'S!" Julian and I shout together while blowing noisemakers. 
     The room becomes very loud as the entire hospital cheers and celebrates. The hospital staff decided to throw a NewYear's party. Even Julian and I brought our parents to the party. “Happy New Year's, Annie.” Julian says to me more quietly and side hugs me.
     “Happy New Year's, Julian.” I say back.

<>All Of Me  by Tanlines 

     I stood at the drink table getting another drink of fruit punch until a pair of hands started tickling my side. “What do you want? “ I giggle, turning around to look at Julian, he’s wearing a brown trench coat, light grey sweatshirt, and black skinny jeans. He smiles at me, with my mint green coat draped over his forearm. 
      “Come with me for a second.” He whispers in my ear, handing me my coat and takes a hold of my hand, pulling me slightly with him. We made it out the hospital, down the street to this ice skating rink. “What are we doing here?” I ask, sounding confused. I stare at Julian as he picks the lock to get the skates for us. “Skating, why else would we be breaking in?” He asks, handing me a white pair of skates as I shrugg.  “By the way, you look beautiful tonight.” He grins. I blush and look down at my long-sleeved white dress with flowers in it and my brown ankle boots.

I mutter a, “thanks” before looking back up at Julian to see him smiling at me. “Do you trust me?” Julian asks while holding his hand out for me.

<>Beautiful World by; A Year On Earth

        I smile nervously and slide my smaller hand into his larger one and grip it tightly. Julian pulls my hand gently but firmly to the rink and onto the ice, we spin around and attempt to skate for a few hours, Julian’s hand stuck in mine the entire time until Julian slips and falls on his back onto the ice, me falling on top of him. We burst into a fit of laughter until we quiet down and Julian stares up at me and tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear, his thumb gently traces the edge of my cheek and caresses it softly. Suddenly our trance is interrupted by a bright flashing light shining through the glass on the skating rink. “I think that's our cue to leave.” Julian says looking from the glass to me.

        “Yep.” I say and gently get off of Julian’s chest trying my best to not hurt him. I stand up quickly and grab Julian’s hands to help him to stand, he gets up and takes a hold of my hand and we rush out the arena. We make it back safely to the hospital without being caught by security. Julian and I stand across from each other in front of my door. “Goodnight Annie Grace.” 

        “Goodnight Julian Lensherr.” I reply back, opening my door, walking inside and closing it behind me.

<>& On & On & On by; Born Ruffians

☆

      I haven’t spoken to nor seen Julian in 4 days. It’s probably nothing so I don’t know why I’m stressing over it that much. “Why can’t you just talk to him?” Winnie asks. 

     “I can’t.” I say shaking my leg and fidgeting with my phone. “Admit it, you can’t talk to him because you feel like you’re annoying.” “No. I just can’t.” I say as I get off my bed and chuck my phone on my bed. I walked over to the window where I saw Julian several nights ago.
     “The least you can do is stop staring out that window like he’ll be there waiting for you.” I give Winnie a grimace look and turn back to look out the window. Just then, I get a facetime from Julian. I hit accept  and saw a piece of paper attached to the screen: DOOR! HURRY!
     “That’s strange.” I say showing Wally and Winnie  my laptop screen. “What if he’s in trouble?” 
      “Or he is the trouble.”  He says reading a magazine on my bed. “Well I at least have to check.”  I say opening the door. I pause when I see Julian standing there holding a white rose. 
      “Hey Annie.” 
     “Hi Julian.”  “Annie Grace, would you like to go somewhere with me tonight?” Julian says handing me the rose. “Yeah… um sure… okay.” I turn and look  back at Wally and Winnie, both making kissing faces. “Pool. Nine o’clock.”

<>Number One by; Tove Styrke

     “Do I have anything here that’s nice?” I ask, throwing all my clothes out of the dresser.
     “How in the hell am I supposed to know? I didn't pack your clothes.” Winnie says. 
     “What about this? Is this see-through?” I ask Wally and Winnie, showing them  a dark red dress with spaghetti straps.

     “Don’t even think about it.” I smirk at her and spin around.
     Getting changed, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, the dark circles under my eyes looking deeper than they’ve been in months. I brush my hair quickly and put it into a neat ponytail, frowning when it doesn't look the way I hoped. I took my hair out of the ponytail it was in and put it in a messy bun, played with my bangs, and finally just left it alone. I stood in the mirror looking at my reflection, I’ve never actually worn make-up before so this is very different. I opened my door and walked down the hall to the pool. My heart pumps eagerly at the thought of seeing Julian in just a few short minutes. I open the door to the pool where I see the large pool with bright colors.

<>Lovers by; Anna of the North

      “I brought drinks!” Julian says who is sitting by the edge of the pool with a picnic basket sitting next to him. “Julian, you know we can’t have alcohol, we’re under age.” “Relax, it’s just soda.”
      “Who puts soda in a wine bottle?” I ask, sitting down at the edge of the pool with Julian. 
      “I do.” “Okay, that is by far the strangest thing I’ve ever heard.” I say. 

☆

     Our feet dangle off the edge of the pool, we swirl our ankles around, gently as we start down at the water as it changes from pinks, blues, yellows, purples, and greens. “When I was little, whenever I had to go for checkups or for treatment, my mom and dad would let me come here at night. Sometimes I would swim down to the bottom and sit there, wondering what it would be like to hold my breath long enough, like fish.” I say, out of the blue.
    “How young?” Julian asks. “Ten.” I answer.
    “Wow. those were some pretty amazing fantasies to have at age ten.” Julian says, I laugh. 
    “Do you believe in love?” I don’t answer at first and instead think long and hard about how I should answer. “Well it’s not that I don’t believe in love, it’s just that I don’t believe in the whole ‘falling’ part.” “Shame. You wanna know what I believe?” 
    “What.”                                                                                                                       
    “I believe that you have the most beautiful brown eyes I’ve ever seen. The kind of beauty that deserves to make a big deal about itself.

<>Shallows by; Daughter

       My breath becomes heavier. Suddenly, I reach out and take his hand. My heart slows a beat, curling my fingers into his hand. His eyes meet mine, and they're filled with understanding. We know that fear. But then I give him a small smile to let him know, we're here in spite of it all. I lift his hand gently. I lay it on my thigh, travelling up the side of my body, over the sharp angle of my shoulder, slowly resting his hand on my heart. I close my eyes at the feeling of his hand resting over my heart. “You’re so beautiful.” I open my eyes for a second and see his eyes locked on mine, a faint red blooming over my cheeks as his touch lingers on my skin. I let go of his hand but it remains over my heart, with my eyes closed, I shiver underneath his touch as his fingers gently move my hair over my shoulder, down my neck and my jaw and over my lips. 
       “My god you’re perfect.” I open my eyes and without hesitation, trembling, I slowly stand up and face him. I reach the straps of my dress and pull them down slowly, revealing my black lace bra and underwear. I stand there looking at Julian, inviting him to look. I can feel his eyes burning through me as I  slowly step into the cool water. The ends of my hair stick to my shoulders as I move my arms back and forth, a smile appears on my face as I look at Julian.
       “Dear god.” He manages to get out. I watch in awe as he stands up and starts unbuttoning his shirt. He takes off his shirt and jeans and stands there, in his black boxers, looking at me. My eyes travel down his smooth lean chest and notice the scars all over. 
      Julian swims over to me and I put my arms around his neck and his go to my waist. My heart starts beating faster like it has never beaten before. “How’d you get more beautiful in 20 seconds?” I turn to face him and he smiles. “Nothing about me is sexy.” I say looking down at myself. “Everything about you is sexy. You're perfect.”  “I’ve never told anyone this but, I hate the way I look, arms, legs, everywhere.” I say and start touching my arms. “Well I’m not so hot myself either.” He says and it is then that I realize, he is talking about his scars. I slowly raise my hands over his shoulders and down his chest and gently trace over the scars, there's one underneath his collarbone, on his side, and a small one down his hairless chest. Julian stops my hands from going any further and holds them to his chest and kisses them softly before looking at me. We smile at each other, and even though there are a million reasons why we shouldn’t, looking at each other now, we can’t help feeling like we’re falling in love with each other. We leave the pool, our hair slowly drying as night turns into early morning. We walk past things I’ve seen a million times in my years at UCSF’s, dozing security guards, and surgeons angrily shaking the broken vending machines by the lobby, the same white tile floors and the same dimly lit hallways, but everything seems different with Julian next to me. It’s like seeing everything for the first time. I didn’t know it was possible for a person to make old things become new again. 

☆
 
 

   I stand in front of the large windows in front of the nursery. I watch as the nurses make their daily check-ups on the babies inside their bassinets. My eyes focus on a small baby, the sticker on the front reads, “I’m a girl!” she’s wrapped up in a soft pink blanket, her arms and legs tucked inside. A small smile appears on my face as I look at her, trying to get free from her blanket, She’s so precious. I thought. I hear the doors open and I see Julian’s figure through the transparent glass.
      “Did Kim see you?” I ask, looking away from the small infant. “No. She was helping someone move into the cancer unit. “So I wanted to talk about last night.” I say. “Oh, last night.” Julian replies with a smirk, leaning against the window with his arms folded. “I’m serious, Julian.”

     “I’m serious too. About not being serious.” He says, I scoff and roll my eyes. I turn and look through the window. “I think it's better if we just stay friends. In order for us to do so, we have to make some ground rules.” I say, not taking my eyes off the window. Julian is silent for a moment, “Okay, I got one, don’t smile at me the way you do. That drives me crazy.” “Fine. No unforced touching.” I say, turning back around to look at him. “So you mean like this?” Julian says putting his hand on my cheek. “Yes. Exactly like that.” I say taking his hand off my cheek. “Don’t be so serious all the time.” Julian says smiling. “Don’t act so immature.” I fire back. “What do you mean?” Julian asks, confusion written all over his face. “Maturity is when you keep your mouth shut when you want to say something mean to someone. Only people at peace with themselves can do this.” “Wow.” Julian says, surprised.“You sound surprised.” I say biting my lower lip. “I think I just figured out the next ground rule. “What?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest. “Don’t bite your lower lip.” “Why? I do that when I get nervous.” I argue. “Well it will make me want to kiss you.” “Okay fine, don’t tell me I’m beautiful, with your big brown dough eyes. I mean that one.” I say as Julian turns to face me. “What?” I ask. “You’re just so beautiful.” I smile at him and walk back to my room.