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CHAPTER 2
Julian
AS FATE WOULD HAVE IT
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I PULL OUT ONE OF MY EARBUDS TO HEAR THE VOICE, worried about a gate change and having to go cross-airport with crappy lungs. "Your attention please, passengers from San Francisco flight 824 to Maui, Hawaii will be leaving in 10 minutes." I put my earbud back in. I've got time to kill. Settling back into the armchair, I pull out my sketchbook for the millionth time today. Staring at the blank sheet of paper, chewing on my charcoal pencil, I've got nothing to draw, no motivation whatsoever. All I can think about is Annie's fragile state when I left her, the flashbacks of that night run through my brain over and over again without stopping. The pain that she was feeling is hurting me. She will probably never want to see me again or even talk to me. Every single day I still find myself wishing I hadn't left, reliving the moment of walking away, my legs being pulled by a magnet back to her. And then I think about Hawaii. Our trip there. My mind goes back to all those glorious memories Annie and I shared. God how I wished I could go back in time. I flipped through the dozen drawings that had Annie's face on them. How her smile brightened everyone of them, how her eyes never faded from its beautiful brown color.
I put my earbuds away in my bag and stand up from my chair and pace around trying desperately to forget that night. Suddenly, the hairs on my neck stand up, meaning that something's happened. I look up from my sketchbook , realization hits me that someone is standing behind me. I turn around and my breath is literally taken from my body at the sight in front of me. I close my book just to take her in... She looks... so much better than I ever saw her. No portable oxygen. No dark circles under her eyes. She was always beautiful to me, but now she is free. She is alive. Her shoulder-length dirty blonde hair frames her beautiful face nicely and the front two pieces on either side are tied back with flower clips, her brown eyes glisten with tears that are almost about to fall. She's wearing a white tank top with pink and blue stripes, Black skinny jeans that frame her curves, a white cardigan with different colored patterns at the hem, and white flats. But the one thing that stands out other than her, is the necklace. I gave it to her in Hawaii, one of my favorite memories that day, how her eyes sparkled when she saw it and how she smiled as she held it in her tiny palms. And to this day, she's never taken it off.

"Hi Annie." I manage to say. "Hi Julian" She says. No matter how much time we've been apart from each other, it feels as if our feelings for each other are still there and never left.
"Your appearance may have changed, but your personality didn't." I say.
Annie blushes more in embarrassment and looks away avoiding my gaze. After I regain my composure again, I say, "I asked where it is you're travelling to?
She looks back at me and says, "Oh, um I'm going to Hawaii. You?"
I smirk while moving my long hair out of my face saying, "I am too." Sadly, our conversation is cut off by the intercom saying that the flight, our flight, to Maui, Hawaii was now boarding.
I look back at Annie and she says, "So I guess I'll see you around then. It was good to see you Julian."
I give her a slight smile that doesn't reach my eyes and says "Um, yeah, you too Annie."

☆

I fasten my seatbelt and look over at Annie as she puts her seatbelt on. Annie's eyes are focused down towards her seatbelt but when she's done, she looks back up in my direction but I quickly look ahead of me. Then the plane starts to take off. For me, taking off is one of the coolest feelings ever. The anxiety fills my chest as the plane starts moving on the runway in a gentle gliding motion. Then it starts to bump and rattle. Eventually, we're up in the air and it's smooth sailing from there. For the first time ever, we sit in awkward silence. I twiddle my thumbs, trying to think of something to say.
I glance at Annie as she sits next to the window looking out at the vast stretch of clouds, her chest rising and falling with no struggle, no wheezing. It's perfect and smooth. Effortless. "So how long are you going to be in Hawaii?" I ask. Annie looks startled at first but then relaxes and answers, "2 weeks. You?" She asks, turning to look at me. "2 weeks." I say. Annie nods and looks back out the window. I continue to look at her. "How have you been?" I ask. She looks back at me. "Fine. Mom and Dad moved me and Ginny to Oakland- Mom thought nature would do me some good and help me while I was doing my treatments, what about you?" She asks. "Good. My treatments went well and Dr. Atler said that I'm cured-well, as cured as I can be." I smile and laugh a little which causes Annie to laugh as well as she turns her head back to the window.
"There's that smile that I miss so much." I say, not realizing that she heard me. "Hmm? What was that?" She asks.
"I-I didn't say anything," I lied. "I heard you say something." Annie says.
"I just said that I thought it was cute that you still wear the necklace I gave you last year." I say, noticing that Annie was playing with it between her fingers. Annie looks down at it and lets it go, falling back on her chest. "It's the only memory I have of what happened between us." Annie mutters. "Is that a good or bad thing?" I ask.
"Both I guess, it reminds me of all the good times we had but it also reminds me of the day you left." She says and looks down at her hands. "Believe me Annie, If I could take back that day I would. In a heartbeat." I say.
We sit in silence for a short while before Annie speaks up, "Why? Why didn't you stay?" I look back at her and see the tear welling up in her eyes. "Because I knew that if I stayed, I couldn't keep you safe. I needed you safe." I say.
"So you what? Decided that night you were gonna leave? Never called, or texted. It was like you dropped off the face of the earth. And you wanna know the worst part of the whole was?" She says, the tears that were once in her eyes are now falling down her puffy cheeks. Annie wipes them away and looks back out the window.
"What? What was the worst part Annie?" I ask, trying to get her to talk to me.
"Nothing, just drop it Julian." She says. I sit back in my chair and guilt sinks in.

☆

Annie and I haven't said anything to each other since that argument. Night had set in and Annie had fallen asleep against the headrest of her seat. I reach over and slide the window down so that Annie could sleep peacefully without the glare of the bright sun in her face tomorrow morning. I settle back in my chair and rest my head against my headrest before sleep overcomes me.
As expected, the bright glare of the morning sun awakens me and I wait for my eyes to adjust before looking down at Annie, who is still asleep, her head resting against my shoulder and her arms are tucked around my left arm securely. As I stare down at her sleeping figure, my mind goes back to that night in my room when I asked her what her favorite thing about life was... I'm looking at her right now, hating the fact that I can't give Annie the life we deserve, the life she deserves. I knew we weren't going to get better, and that I ended up hurting her and I don't want to see the day that happens again. The look on her face that would show the complete and utter expression of brokenness and loss.
Annie starts to stir awake. And her brown eyes flutter open at me. She then looks down at her arms and it is then that she realizes that she is cuddling up against my arm. She removes them and turns back around in her seat to face the window. I continue to stare at her as she then gets out her camera and takes a quick picture of the scenery outside our window. "Attention all passengers, we will be landing in Maui, Hawaii shortly so please fasten your seatbelts. Have a nice day." The pilot speaks. Finally the plane lands and as soon as the seatbelts signal goes off, Annie and I unbuckle ourselves and I stand up and get our suitcases from the compartment above us. Annie takes her suitcase from me and mutters a "Thanks." before walking down the aisle. She turns the corner and exits the plane. Just then I realize, I wasn't going to let her go. Not this time.