Dedicated to delouxeon

Zarinna's chest heaved heavily as she heard the man speaking with the other guys in the water. He spoke to them in Applai to which she had a hard time understanding. Her head swirled in circles as she thought; confusion and shame engaging in a tug of war in her mind.

What in the world should I do?

The question ringed in her head. She drew a deep breath, pondering in her mind the situation she was trapped in. In a split of a second, her feet seemed to move on their own, instinctively stepping away from where she stood, away from them. With much care (and tension), Zarinna made her way behind the bushes, thankful to see another pathway that she hoped would take her anywhere away from sight. It would be such a shame to face that man again, regardless of how kind he was.

Without much thought, Zarinna followed the pathway, hoping it would eventually lead her somewhere near her Uncle's lawn. She walked away frantically, thankful of the warmth and covering that the Ules gave as it clung on to damp skin. She felt her grip on the fabric tighten as she saw familiar signs of the environment, the pathway she took earlier to get to the spring occupied her vission.

Oh, thank you, God!

She screamed in silence. It seemed that the pathway she took was a long cut, it probably just went around the spring and towards her Uncle's Lawn. She stepped over the wooden fence behind her cottage quickly, caring less about anything than getting herself in the in side of her walls.

Relief surged her heart as she ran towards the door, thankful that no one met her along the way, exposing her shame. The sun was almost completely gone, and the skies glowed bright red. A shiver ran down her spine as she eagerly opened the door and stepped inside. For a moment, Zarinna felt complete relief overflow in her being.

"Oh thank you, Jesus... "she whispered in gratitude, her palms gently tapping her chest as her back leaned against the door. She bit her lip aggressively, the memory of the kind man flooding back to her mind.

She didn't know, but a strange feeling began to grip her heart. "Oh goodness, what have I gotten myself into?" She lowered her glance and stared at the Ules that covered her bare skin. Despite the shame, she couldn't help but feel so thankful of the kind gesture she received from the man earlier. Who could that man be? She wondered. How would this day have ended had he not intervened? Zarinna shut her eyes as the thought rummaged her mind.

Oh Lord, You are Good!

She drew in a breath and walked towards her bedroom, taking the weaved fabric off her bare skin. Her body craved the comfort of her pajamas, and automatically Zarinna made her way to her wooden dresser. As she opened her drawers, however, a slight shudder ran down her spine.

My clothes are still left in the bank of the spring.

Every.single.piece.

Her palms made her way to her face, wincing as her already stressed mind processed the fact.

Should I go back in there? The thought lingered in her mind for a while, before she pushed the idea away completely in haste. No, no... It would be too risky.

She pulled out a warm pajama and a shirt from her drawer and almost immediately as she slid them on, her body slumped into the bed before her.

Tomorrow, tomorrow I'll retrieve those clothes. Surely it would still be there. She consoled herself with the thought, pushing away all doubts lest she be kept awake all night.

"Yes. Surely..."

Rays of sunlight glared Zarinna's eyes as she lifted her lids, its warmth upon her skin evident despite the protection of her glass window.

"Ay... what time is it?" She mumbled, lifting the warm blanket from her body. Her hand fumbled in the sheets, searching for her phone till the cold steel came in contact her palm. She lifted it to her face. 7:06

Slowly, Zarinna sat up from the bed and began to fold her blanket, taking in a breath as she briefed her mind on the day's activities.

Her feet reached for the cold floor, her body instantly engulfed with the morning's cold temperature as she got up. As she did, her gaze immediately came in contact with the calendar that was posted on her door.

Oh, it's Sunday.

The realization began to sink in, She would normally be preparing for church at this time, today however, her schedule was clear. Which church would I go to in the first place? She lowered her head and sat on the wooden couch, Zarinna's thoughts drifted back to the time when she was still in Jesus our King Ministries, the fire and zeal she felt for God before that gave her the desire of being in the church almost every single day. Now it was only a memory, and, it seemed as though where she was now made it impossible for those to happen again.

Lord please, please make a way... Her heart cried. But the pain and condemnation that engulfed her dulled the desire.

"Rinna!" Helen's voice from outside the cottage tore Zarinna from her thoughts. She stood and went for the door in response.

"Coming!" Zarinna swiftly opened the door, a smile upon her lips as she her Aunt's gaze. Her Aunt was currently holding their youngest child, Vince, and upon realization, awe surged Zarinna's being. Adorable!

"Good morning, Auntie!" Zarinna greeted, "Good morning little guy," Her hand made its way to the child's cheek, beaming as she caressed it gently.

"Good morning, Rinna! I came to call you to the house. Let's have coffee."

"Sure, Auntie!" Zarinna followed behind her aunt as they walked, glancing around the tree surrounded lawn in awe. The sound of wind mingling with the trees resounded around them as they walked, the smell of grass and pine filling Zarinna's lungs with each breath.

Wow, this place looks like a paradise.

She returned her attention to back her Aunt, watching her as she opened the door. The smell of Barako instantly clung to her nose, made even better as her gaze was occupied by Casey and Elsa, her younger cousins.

"Manang!" Elsa, the younger girl exclaimed, running towards Zarinna's direction, her older sister following behind her.

"Hi! How are you two?" Zarinna asked in glee, welcoming the two young girls in a tight hug.

"We've been okay, Manang," Casey replied, holding on to Zarinna's arm as they joined Dennis in the table.

"We haven't seen you for sooo long, Manang!" Elsa spoke up, "You have become so beautiful." A slight laugh escaped Zarinna's lips as she looked at the ten-year-old girl, her large eyes directed towards her as she spoke.

"Aw, Elsa... when you grow up, I'm sure you will become much more prettier." Zarinna countered with a smile, slightly pinching the girls' smooth cheek.

"Here Kaanakan," She turned her attention to her Uncle and received the hot cup of coffee in her hand, feeling its temperature as it came in contact with her palms.

"Hmm, it smells so good, Uncle," Zarinna remarked, taking a sip of the bittersweet dark coffee.

"Uhuh," Her Aunt intervened. "It sure does. I'm sure you never get to drink much of this goodness back in the city. They sell this so expensive in there!"

"Yes! I'm so glad I get to have some in here Auntie. This really is one of my favorite things about this place." Zarinna replied gladly. "Other than being able to hug this little cutie..."

Zarinna extended her hands towards her Aunt as she spoke, taking her nine-month-old baby cousin in her arms.

Vince broke into a giggle as Zarinna took hold of him, to which she felt her heart leap. "Aw! Such a charmer now are you?" The baby continued to smile, influencing Zarinna as she held the boy.

"So, it's your first day tomorrow right, Dear?" Her Aunt asked, making Zarinna nod as she began to speak.

"Yes, Auntie." She heaved a sigh, "I'm quite nervous actually. I don't know a thing about this place, I'm not very familiar with the culture and-" Zarinna paused mid-sentence, tapping her chest as she breathed, "It's my very first teaching job."

"I understand." Her Aunt spoke, "Don't worry you'll be okay. I believe you can handle this." She couldn't help but smile at her Aunt's words, her encouragement suddenly reminding her of her mother.

"Thank you, Aunt Helen." She responded, "Which reminds me. I do have to go and prepare my stuff already. I haven't even begun unpacking yet." Zarinna confessed, scratching the back of her head.

"I'll help you, Manang!" Elsa volunteered, standing to her feet as she heard Zarinna's words.

"Me too!" Casey echoed.

"'You sure, girls?" Zarinna asked, turning her gaze towards her Aunt to seek her approval.

"Yeah!" The two responded in chorus.

"Go ahead and take them, Kaanakan. I'd rather have them in your cottage helping than be in the mud somewhere." The girls giggled in excitement as they heard their mother's consent.

With this, Zarinna stood, giving Vince back to her Aunt as she prepared to leave. "Okay, then Aunt Helen. Thank you for breakfast!" She gave Vince a quick peck on the cheek and stepped away.

"No problem, my dear. Do come here by lunch okay?"

"Oh Aunt Helen, you don't have to keep feeding me." Zarinna refused, feeling quite embarrassed of her becoming a burden to the family. "I can cook my own food back in the cottage."

"Oh nonsense, My Dear," Helen countered. "You haven't even begun teaching yet, you can cook on your own when you're already stable, okay? We don't mind." Gladness surged Zarinna's heart, another smile again drawn from her face.

"I'm running out of Thank you's, Aunt Helen..." Zarinna breathed, lowering her gaze. Her Aunt merely laughed.

"You're always welcome, Kaanakan." With this, Zarinna turned around and went for the door, holding her cousins on each arm.

"See you later then Auntie!" She spoke from the door, slowly shutting it as they stepped outside.

Oh, Lord... I feel as though my heart is melting right now. You are so, so good to me. I feel it, I feel it so evidently.

"Manang, where do I put this?" Zarinna lifted her gaze to her cousin, discovering the small organizer that she held in her arms.

"Oh, bring it here Casey. I'll put it in the study table." She instructed. Zarinna took the item in her hand and went for her room, her vision occupied by Elsa as she walked in.

"Manang you have a text message," Elsa informed, sitting up from the bed.

"Oh, I didn't hear the phone ring. Who texted?" Zarinna inquired, placing the organizer in the table.

"Uhm... the name is... Na... Nathan, Manang." Zarinna's movements instantly came to a halt as she heard her cousin speak his name. She turned around, took the phone swiftly from her hand and unlocked it.

"Manang are you okay?" She looked at her and forced a smile, careful to conceal how her heart suddenly raced with the information.

"I'm fine dear... let me just read this quick." She opened her messages, and with a swift swipe, the message appeared.

I miss you. Kamusta?

Her heart leapt, and instantly she tapped the reply tab. But as soon her fingers flew across the keys to construct a reply, a sudden conviction halted her movement. And her arms fell to her side, as though losing the life that was in it.

"Elsa, turn my phone off for a while okay?" She instructed, handing the phone to her cousin. "Come and help me organize my closet." The young girl simply smiled and followed her orders.

Zarinna heaved a heavy sigh, trying her best to regain her focus as she opened the bags where her clothes were put. No. Enough is enough. She wouldn't allow herself to go through that pain again. Communicating with Nathan right now that it was all raw was like leaping off a building without a parachute. She wouldn't be able to bear the emotional stir, she wouldn't let herself go through it again.

I will speak to you again Nathan. She heard herself say in silence. I will speak to you again once my heart is right... once... all these feelings are gone.

The sun was now setting, and quickly Zarinna stood to her feet, so quickly that she almost tripped on herself as she began to walk. She has been sitting in the porch for almost an hour, mustering courage and waiting for the sun to set before returning to the spring.

I need to get those clothes! Her mind screamed. As she made her way to the spring, the nervousness began to creep up her bones once more. What if somebody sees me? The question ringed in her mind, multiplying the anxiety she felt. "Oh for goodness sake, it's not like you're a criminal for trying to retrieve your clothes." She muttered.

The spring's view became clearer with every step she took, and her steps hastened as she approached. Zarinna gasped, frantically kneeling down to the empty ground where her clothes once were.

"Oh my, oh my..." She chanted in disbelief. "Where are my clothes?" Her gaze probed each side of the spring, but it only worsened how she felt. Her clothes are nowhere to be seen.

Somebody must've taken it, one of those men most probably. Her palm made its way to her forehead, groaning in confoundment as she sat limply on the ground.

Those Men.

A heavy sigh escaped her lungs, "Now what?" She questioned in defeat. Zarinna lifted her hand to her chest, her mind blank as though a calculator in syntax error. "Wait..." Her gaze dropped to her chest, palms searching for one that used to hang around her neck. Zarinna's eyes widened, her heart paced twice faster than it already had been.

My necklace!

Kamusta - Ilocano term for 'How are you'