Waves of wind swept through Zarinna as she made her way towards the store, sending a shiver down her spine with each step. The skies threatened rain and she needed to buy supplies before the travel. Entering the building, she felt her heart race as she saw familiar faces coming her way. Oh no. She looked away. Not today. Not them. She swallowed, head lowered in hopes of concealing her face.

"Hey, Zarinna!"

Her lids squeezed shut, then fluttered open, meeting the woman's gaze as she raised her head.With one glance Zarinna knew - this wasn't gonna be a good conversation.

"Uh, hey Clara," Zarinna greeted back.

"So, it's been a while. How are you doing so far?" Clara asked, uncertainty gleaming in her eyes.

"Uhm, I'm doing fine. How 'bout you guys?"

"Ah, same old-same old. I really feel bad about what happened to you ... I-"

"I know right," Lauren spoke up, "Who would've thought? The most respected 'Worship Leader' in the church fell for a-"

"Shh," Clara brought a finger to her lips.

Zarinna felt her cheek burn in embarrassment - and anger. For a moment she couldn't say anything but stare at the women she once considered as sisters in faith.

"-a married man." Zarinna finished Lauren's sentence, her voice trembling. The two looked at her wide-eyed. "I know. Disappointing, huh? I'm sorry for the shame I brought on your Church. I know I won't be able to erase the stain I've placed on its good reputation."

"It's no-"

"Don't worry," Zarinna continued to speak, "I would do you the favor of never coming back."

At this point, Zarinna couldn't hold back the tears anymore. She quickly looked away and began to walk. Guilt immediately took hold of her. Why did I have to talk back? They're right to feel that way. I'm a shame.

She regretted her words, but deep inside, she felt pain squeeze her heart.

Didn't I love them? I held them so dear to me. Wasn't I the one who spoke to Clara for years? Sharing the gospel to her until she came to the Lord? Hadn't I seen all her sins before and yet still loved her? Why does she despise me so much now?

She wiped the tears from her cheeks, nodding as understanding filled her. Yes. She sinned greatly when she wasn't saved, I sinned greatly while I was already saved - when I knew exactly what sin was and still did it.

Zarinna couldn't walk any further. She came to a halt, guilt and pain writhing all over her being. Oh God! Oh God ... is there mercy for me?

"Manang, wait!" Joshua called out as he saw his sister making her way to the bus. Zarinna turned towards him. " Mamma said she's going to buy you snacks for the trip."

"Oh, really?" Zarinna placed a fist to her hip, "But I already have food! How many days does she think I'd ride this bus?"

Joshua chuckled, "You know, Mamma, Manang. She wants to make sure you're always eating."

Zarinna shook her head and sighed. "I know right,"

She looked once again towards the bus before her, feeling a slight shudder through her being. How is she gonna survive without her loving and, at times, overly caring mother?

"Rinna, here are some fruits and crackers. Be sure to eat them all up, okay?" Dinah's voice met her ears, tearing her from her thoughts.

"Aw Mamma thank you, I sure will!" Zarinna assured.

 Dinah reached for her hand and began to speak. "Take care in there, okay 'Rinna?" 

 Again, Zarinna felt sadness engulf her. The days seemed to roll by quickly since the day she received the call from Besao, and now... she really needed to go.

"I will, Mamma. You take care as well, okay?" Zarinna held her Mother's hands tighter. "I'll come home as soon as I have the chance."

"Okay." Dinah pulled Zarinna into an embrace as she replied. "God bless you, Child."

"Thank you, Mamma."

"Manang, if you keep this up; the bus is going to leave you." Zarinna laughed, gently pulling away from her mother's arms.

"Alright Joshua, got it." She turned away and went for the bus, waving to her family goodbye before going in completely "Bye! Both of you take care okay?"

Zarinna put on her brightest smile, restraining the tears from her eyes as the bus began to move. Zarinna rested her head upon the bus' seat and took a deep breath.

God, if there's a chance you're still listening to my prayers, please keep my family safe...

Extreme heat tore Zarinna from her slumber, compelling her to fan herself as soon as she regained her senses. She lifted the scarf from her face and looked through the window. People scurried around and many vehicles are about the roads. The stores beside the road were surrounded by a lot of people, market noise overwhelming the surrounding of the bus.

She looked around, gathering clues to where they were. A sign above a store filled her gaze - Province of Isabella. They were already in the lowlands. This only meant they're only a few hours away from their destination now. Perhaps two or three, at most.

Zarinna took a deep breath and went down the bus. She needed to drink something cool. This is going to be a tedious day.

After the passengers had eaten their meals, the bus again began to advance and Zarinna tried her best to go back sleep despite the scorching heat engulfing her body.

After a few hours, Zarinna once again regained her consciousness, the obvious change in the temperature evident in her body. She looked over her phone to check the time, 5:48 PM. Sighing, she lifted her gaze and peered through the windows. Zarinna's heart skipped a beat, only a few minutes now.

Green decked mountains touched the dimming blue skies. Zarinna smiled in awe. This was so much like Baguio City, but at the same time, it was also the opposite. The place held a certain peace and calm which the city didn't. Trees towered majestically against each other with each curve the bus took, revealing more and more of the beautiful landscapes Zarinna had always enjoyed watching. This was her fathers home. A place she hadn't gone to as often when he died. The memory squeezed her heart. I miss him, how I miss him ... She tried to push the memories away, but failed as another man filled her mind. Maybe this was why I always endeared Nathan, Zarinna began to recall, how much he resembled my father's heart had earned him a soft spot in my heart.

A loud blowing tore her from her thoughts. She shook her head and looked around - the bus came to a halt.

"Kin-iway!" The Dispatcher announced. "Passengers going to Besao, here we are!" Zarinna held her bag  and went for the bus' exit, gaze directed towards the windows as she walked the bus' aisle.

"Manung, I have four bags and two boxes in the trunk," Zarinna informed the dispatcher.

"Alright Ading, let's go down so I can help you with carrying them outside the bus." Zarinna nodded and excited outside the vehicle.

The temperature now cooled, probably because the sun has begun to set. She followed the dispatcher to the luggage area and pointed out her bags, the man carried her belongings outside and as soon as the dispatcher returned inside, the bus again began to advance, dust blowing behind it as it drove away.

Zarinna turned and scattered her gaze. The skies were now covered with streaks of orange and red. She drew in a breath closed her eyes.

Lord, may Your Will be done...

Manang- Older Sister/Older woman
Ading- Younger Brother or Sister/ Younger Person
Kin-iway- One of the Barangays of the Municipality of Besao.