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信じる
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Disclaimer :
Genre : angst
Character pairing : mitsuba sousuke x reader
Summary: believing is the source of life, she said.
Note  : i personally want to write every male character there is before moving and writing your requests. i want to write whats in my mind for them. Song doc based on my chorus school contest song 信じる. Meaning believe
Update : I wrote this on May I DONT KNOW WHAS HAPPENING BUT LETS DO IT ANYWAYS ITS AUGUST RN AND I-, I don't know
Word count : 2080
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"your wish?" the brunette asked, as he sat down on the hospital bed. he held his hat to his chest to be a bit more sentimental with the person he was talking to, giving a look of respect.

"i want to search for a tomorrow" she said as she rested her head on the pillow behind her.

-------------------- Before XX

You had always knew you were clingy. You had always knew it was a bad trait you had but alas here you were. In your third year in middle school. Alone in class as you sat there nothing to do but to just read your book.

However You weren't always alone.  ever since you had been separated with your friend. mitsuba sousuke . Everything had never felt the same before. You couldn't make a single friend while he was thriving with his basically new friends every week spree. He had no ill intentions but he just wanted you to be more independent with yourself. Stop relying on other people basically. He wanted you to grow up. But you know something else was up.

Puberty. Growing up theres always a thing where people said female and male friends won't stay together as friends for long. You'd guess  it got to him. He had always been shy when you got clingy to him on break or some other free time. He was very shy and you understood puberty got to him. But you had been friends with him since practically fetuses. You didn't think this puberty thing would stop you any way or another. he was also technically being a hypocrite, he couldn't make any kind of friends as well in elementary school. so you two were basically a nice match. but ever since he started, talking to a certain yellow haired boy. his social group immensely grew. thus here you were.

It was currently the middle of break. Most of your classmates went outside to play volley or soccer on the school field but you stayed inside. In the shade with probably the rest of the nerds who had no interest in wasting their energy just to have fun.

So you had decided to go to mitsuba's class as you knocked on the door. Asking one of his classmates to call for him as he responded with a grunt. His friends had teased him again. He was really shy about it.

He went up to the door to be meet with your little figure. As you wanted to start a conversation with him as you were met with the words

"Don't" he said. Cheeks were red as a tomato. He sounded annoyed. You were really hurt this time. It had been a few times with him pushing you away but you had always shrugged it away and kept on bothering him. It usually seemed to work but this time seemed different.

"Hey (n/n) could you stop talking to me" he said nervously. His intentions were still clear tho. 'Stop bothering me' but baby style.

"Why?"

"Just- just don't ok. I heard from the teachers you had no friends in class and if you keep on depending on me you might not be able to learn how to socialize properly" he confessed.

"But I only need you" you pouted. Leaving the rest of his friends teasing him from the back even more and making mitsuba even more flustered.

It was true. You had always depended on mitsuba too much, I mean you guys had been stuck with each other since kids And even though he never seemed to bother him it actually got to him this time. hypocrite move since he also  seemed to cling on kou.

"Just don't" , he said pushing you gently, as he turned back to his friends who were teasing him mercilessly.

'Oh come on mitsuba, that chic you got was so cuteeeee I wish I could've just dated her already' a friend of his emphasized.

'Yeah mitchuba  you got a nice chic' the other one added.

You hurt, from your attempts to talk with mitsuba led you back sitting down on your seat as just in time the be had rang signaling the last period of class.

————

mitsuba had kept up his word. When he said you needed to socialize. You needed to socialize. You tried your luck a few times but he broke down and said.

'Just get at least one friend and then we can come back to becoming friends'

So basically at this moment. You and him weren't friends. Your friendship was set to a halt until you find a decent friend to befriend in your class. Honestly the task was easier said than done. You don't know how extroverts could just spit out words so confident like that. As you stared at your classmates, forming into little groups as they were slipping on their shoes and putting back their uwabaki's back to their orginal assigned little lockets.

It might of have seemed creepy but you were trying to learn and analyze them like some kind of robot. You sighed frustrated as you slid down your own shoes as you stared at the grown. A frown visible on your lips.

"Oh uhm (l/n)" an unfamiliar voice called. As you snapped your head towards the voice revealing a black haired girl with orange highlights by the tip of her hair which you would guess was a family gene,

Kamado nezuko

One of your classmates you supposed. But you didn't care much as you nod. You had always been analyzing the class. You practically knew who was who. And what they liked and disliked but you can never have the balls to actually keep up a conversation with them somehow.

" I think you left this in the library" she said handing in a familiar object.

Your favorite book actually.
You nod and 90 degree bowed at her as she shuffled backwards shyly. As you murmured a little thank you. She giggled because of your formal actions. You were too formal. That was the problem. Too formal to people you don't know. It was a good but bad habit. It was great that you were oftenly formal but bad because you couldn't keep up with your own generation. You felt like a boomer.

As she gave a slight bow a bit flustered by your formality even though you both were the same age as she slipped on her shoes to her assigned locker.

—————

You were gonna attempt to talk to mitsuba again today.
You had to. Honestly you had made progress, everything was ok. You finally had started to talk with some of the girls in your class slowly but steadily. You were sure you and mitsuba could talk once again. But your little talks with your classmates  hadn't convinced mitsuba tho. He wanted to be sure he could leave you alone with a decent friend and not just small talk. He was being petty again. His pinky long hair in all its glory. As you had a fight again with him.

"B-but sousuke-" you cried.

"I did as you told and now you're still avoiding me" you continued to sob as you tried to hold his hand. However he had kept on avoiding you.

"I just want you to be independent [n/n]" he said aggravated. He succeeded to let go of his hand as he went to his group of friends.

Popularity sure does change people.

People don't stay the same.

But

You believed-

you sighed as you tried to dab away the visible tears on your cheeks as you went back. sad by your failed attempt.
You looked by the window to be met with cloudy dark skies. Rain droplets. And a slight mist.

It was currently a rainy day today in the city of tokyo. Little rain droplets fell down from the sky as a gloomy atmosphere had been bestowed upon the school. And upon yourself actually. Every attempt you had with mitsuba had him rejecting you and you fell down in tears. You didn't know what was wrong. Why was this happening. What did you do wrong but you had always. Believed. Such a crucial word. Believe?

Believed he would come back to you.

Believed you had a decent friend group

Believed you were ok

Believed.....

To search for a tomorrow.

That's right. The word didn't make any sense. Searching for a tomorrow ? What's that? So weird. However That's what you would always say. Searching for a tomorrow as you hold in your last breathe.

———————— after XX??????

Mitsuba didn't feel right. he felt his stomach churn after today. It had been about a few days since you had started talking to your friends. And just yesterday he made you cry. And yet You would always come to him. Still, telling him about your friend progress believing he would reply back and play with you again. Mitsuba felt something was up. He had a bad feeling about today. But here you were luckily skipping to him. Ready to pester him again.

His group of friends had teased him because of your sudden presence. Pointing at you as you pestered mitsuba. His friends had left giving the pink haired boy some space as they knew what would happen next.

"Mitsuba , could you stop the act already, can we hang out now?

"Hey (f/n)" mitsuba said with a weird look on his face as he held your shoulders. His red orbs meeting with your [e/c] colored ones. He stared deeply in to your soul, you felt.
as he held a deep breath and said

"Stay safe"

"What?"

"I feel weird today stay safe. It's raining today right? Stay safe." Mitsuba said. Letting go of you as he turned towards the way going towards his friends.

"Sousuke, you replied to me doesn't that mean we're friends again?" You replied with joy. Glimpse of hope In your eyes. believe

"No, just stay safe." He said walking quickly. But you still followed him.

"Come on, Ive been trying. It's been like a few months now. Why won't you just hang out with me ? Do you hate me that much?" You said. Looking like a big cry baby you are.

"No [f/n] just go to your friends would you? You said you made some. Could you just go ?" He said.

"Uhm, no. I have friends and all but I told you I only need you sousuke" you said getting angrier by the moment. But little tears are starting to form again. You're getting too emotional. It was a bad thing. Getting carried away with your feelings. You should stop. Holding his pink sweater tightly as you firmed your grip on it. He looked at you unamused. He said to stay safe. But now he still wants you to go away? What the fuck are you doing mitsuba. Literally. What the fuck.

"Not this again (f/n) just go away. I'll tell you I hate you if that's what it takes to make you have friends"

"Fine do that then" you said, grip still firm

"I hate you, Stop bothering me you're really annoying" mitsuba said, as he nudged off his sleeve as he went. Leaving you there at shock. Tears were really tempting to fall now.

-

"I don't understand. I have friends but my chest feels so empty. I feel really. Empty."

"Wait no remove the negative thought"

"Mitsuba won't want this. Why am I even so perked up about him anyway"

It was a never ending argument in your head with yourself of course. Sadly going down the rainy streets as you weren't paying attention to your surroundings . Heads empty. Only mitsuba catching feels.

-

It was not true,

it could of have never happened

He was so dumb to let you go

Running through the rain as he had gotten home from a club activity to be called from his mother to a news.

He was sure it was fake, why are you dumb ? It was a prank ? Disbelief. Why

An accident happened on road XX, and revealing to be a victim with a girl named [l/n] [f/n].