
╰┈➤𝗥𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝘀
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►Best pov
Judge- SongYeEun2500
►Um… I ruined a Mafia fanfiction by Yeahidonthavethink
◗◗ Total- (41/50)
◗Character connectivity: (9/10 )
All the actions made pretty much sense, but I think there could've been more descriptive expressions. About relativity— the book theme is more on the fantasy-comedy side, so I didn't expect to relate anyway, but do I find Briar saying everything I've always wanted to say to Y/n? A thousand times yes.
◗Character Expression: (8/10)
I think it needed more depth with the expressions. I think it lacked only because there were too many characters in some scenes, like in the scene where she shoots Taehyung.
◗Character Enticement: (9/10)
I think the fanfic or the POV parts are truly enticing. They make me want to read further.
◗Grammar and vocabulary: (6/10)
Your vocabulary is fine, but there were some errors here and there. There were some tense mistakes, and at some points, there were errors with the writing [example: instead of 'I', it had 'A']. Proofreading will help. Also, I think you need to work on your writing style. Seemed just a bit messy with paragraphs.
◗Personal Enjoyment: (9/10)
I must say that this fanfiction is indeed funny and interesting.
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►Book: BTS Seokjin Imagines by @jinleen_5
◗◗Total: (41/50)
◗Character Connectivity: (9/10)
The character's behaviour made sense and it stood out with their actions too.
◗Character Expressions: (8/10)
I must say that the way the POV was written, made me feel the anxiety in the character. It was keenly paid attention to, but at some point, it felt stretched a little— hence, points were deducted.
◗Character Enticement: (7/10)
Even though the POV was very well written and made one feel through it, in the second part, it felt quite stretched. The dream part was a bit long too.
◗Grammar and Vocabulary: (9/10)
Vocabulary, very good but could be a bit advanced. As for grammar, no noticeable mistakes.
◗Personal Enjoyment: (8/10)
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►Book: Blessed Cursed by nishimura_rizzi
Total: (36/50)
◗Character Connectivity: (7/10)
A little more depth with words would have made the POV a lot better in this segment. Would have understood Jay's actions a lot better.
◗Character Expressions: (6/10)
Once again, depth was needed. For example, in the chapter ' Wingman' Jay was confused about his change towards Bora and had a blooming thing in him, but it would have been a lot better if we were told how exactly his feelings are evolving.
◗Character Enticement: (9/10)
Honestly, I was pretty intrigued when I read the applied chapters first. It's mainly because of the plot. I would suggest you add more details and give each character a proper sketch.
◗Grammar and Vocabulary: (6/10)
The vocabulary was not diverse but plain, but it worked fine. There were a few punctuation mistakes and some grammatical mistakes. Also, some sentences and dialogues were awkward. I suggest proofreading.
◗Personal Enjoyment: (8/10)
It's a good book and I can see a good potential in you. Keep it up.
►Judge- bangtanrewinds
‣That Jeoson Rain IR3NIC
◗◗Total - (44/50)
◗Character connectivity (7/10)
To judge this character, we need to look through the pov of a villain. And doing this, I could connect well with Myrah. The thirteenth chapter gets us to know how she is using the other characters as her pawns; which indeed is the biggest asset of the villain. Well executed!
Lately, I had been finding myself reading more antagonist-centred books. And I must agree, writing such a book requires a lot of effort and not letting that character flow as a justified person; the authentic villain's trait involves humanising them at some point and I appreciate how you had shown an emotional breakdown of Myrah in the twenty-ninth chapter. A villain's tale is incomplete without this factor, you did a great job at this. But, the fourteenth chapter couldn't give me good insight into her. It just felt like another chapter. Maybe should have submitted another chapter instead.
◗Character expression (10/10)
Myrah was someone who would play gradually yet aim right. With her character traits (someone who keeps their cards concealed), it's difficult to show her distinct behaviour while being with the other characters. But the author has put a lot of effort to show a good and apt interaction with other characters, letting us show what she felt about them.
The scenarios were indeed unpredictable without losing their originality.
◗Character enticement (9/10)
As I said, I had been reading a lot of Villain tales lately, and this one is added to one of my favourites among all. A real antagonist knows what they are doing is awful but they still keep going. And adding this factor to the story made it distinct from others.
I was intrigued to read further, even though she was evil but her actions and her ways of taking revenge kept me hooked.
◗Grammar and vocabulary - (9/10)
Nothing much to say here. I couldn't find any mistakes, indeed, as a result of paying attention to editing it again; a plus point of the story. The only suggestion I would give is to reduce the use of more unfamiliar and complex words if you are aiming at readers of all vocab capabilities. It's not an error but just a suggestion, so no marks will be deducted for it.
◗Personal enjoyment - (9/10)
Even though she was evil, I loved her character, lol. Reading the blurb I believe that she is up for revenge. If it is, I must agree that she is doing it very smoothly. She is the soul of the book. A very good character inclusion in the story. I'm excited to read further when I can. Good luck, author <3
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►Everything Ends by armykoyola
◗◗Total- 36.5/50
◗Character Connectivity- (9/10)
I'm sure every adolescent who wants to enjoy their love life will connect well with Y/n. She was longing for the love of her boyfriend who is cold towards her. And with the hobby of writing and an urge to express her wishes for an 'idol boyfriend', she starts writing on a writing platform. Her character held originality and I could feel myself doing the same if I was in her shoes. Good job, author!
◗Character Expression- (6.5/10)
Her character was quite predictable, we knew what she would do in the coming scenario. Indeed, I loved her interactions with the other characters. The reason for the deduction of marks is that the ending of each chapter had narration in the author's pov, even though a small part but it did disrupt the reading and hindered getting more insight into the character as that was the main criterion.
A quick suggestion, try including more romantic scenes in what Y/n writes for her story, I know there are some sweet scenes of them making love but I do feel adding more scenes of them going on a date, Jungkook comforting her or they both sharing problems will give more originality and the readers will understand her longing and emotions, I hope you understood what I'm trying to say here.
◗Character enticement- (6/10)
Y/n's character was enticing but I felt the lack of descriptive narration made her character rather difficult to understand. We were mostly into what was happening around them and her writing down a story but there was not much portrayal of her inner conflicts. It was surely discussed but not narrated. I'm sure the insertion of literary devices into the writing will help.
◗Grammar and Vocabulary- (8/10)
The grammar was simple yet perfect, there were no errors at all except for a few typos I found in the fourth chapter which I'm sure can be solved with proofreading. When coming to vocabulary, I feel it was simple, try adding more complex words suiting the situation.
◗Personal Enjoyment- (7/10)
I did enjoy reading it since it's been a long that I read something light, lol. So it was refreshing. The only thing I would suggest is to try writing a bit more descriptively and insertion of different scenarios in the story Y/n is writing. Other than that, everything is going smoothly. Good luck, author <3
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►Jack In The Box by domseokk
◗◗Total- 40/50
◗Character Connectivity- (9/10)
Finally, I found a book that started with the narration of the bitter-sweet bond of siblings rather than a romantic scene or a spine-chilling moment, none of these is bad but I love to read stories which are more leaned towards originality and out-of-the-box.
Being at the beginning stage of adulthood, I can relate to Aera very well. Adult life indeed gives a sense of independence but it comes with a lot of responsibilities and challenges to fit into this fast-moving world. Aera was well portrayed according to her circumstances. Good job!
◗Character expression- (7/10)
Again, her character was well-written. Characters must have flaws because that's what hooks readers to the story. Aera was mentally strong but still, she had a soft spot for her brother Jimin which caused a lot of chaos for her. I love how you portrayed her thoughts on everything around her and how adorable her bond is with Jungkook.
But I felt that things were a little bit dragged when they could be summed up in a single chapter rather than two long chapters. Readers who like fast-paced stories might not like the long description of the characters, especially when the book is a fantasy genre centred.
◗Character enticement- (7.5/10)
I believe every person at the age of Aera will find her relatable and get immersed in the story. Even if they are not of the same age, they will still love her character as to the fact of how well-written her character was.
Character development is not just a growth of a character but also a development of more enticement in the readers. But due to the story being in an early phase, we couldn't see that development nor versatility in her and how her thoughts will change while the actual chaos will occur.
◗Grammar and vocabulary- (9/10)
Impressive! I tried my best and even read it once again but I found no errors except a few in the first chapter. Your grammar and vocabulary are top-notch! Your vocabulary was a good fusion of simple and complex words, as it should be. Splendid work in this criterion.
◗Personal Enjoyment- (7.5/10)
The tropes you picked for the early chapters got me. Indeed, someone who likes action right from the beginning might not want to read it. But, the reader who likes to see things going gradually with more relatable scenarios will start reading right away.
I see a lot of potential in the story, the writing style is promising, and the only reason for losing marks is that the chapters which were submitted have characters in a preliminary stage, giving not much insight into how they would play their role when the actual things start. Other than that, everything is going smoothly, and I'm curious as J-hope had finally arrived. Good luck author <3
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►My Last Days Of Silence by kooksholland
◗◗Total: 46/50
◗Character Connectivity- (10/10)
The way Y/n's pov was written— I'm speechless. I felt nothing was lacking in the narration; it showed her pain, and her hope to at least stay happy in the last moments of her life, how she embraced her ending days yet felt fragile at times. I could feel her pain throughout and the writing was cherry on top. Impressive!
I felt nothing was out of place but rather well portrayed.
◗Character Expression - (9.5/10)
Yet again, Y/n's pov on things and having it connected to behaviour was relatable. Yn's behaviour towards everything was justified; as she was positive-minded and mentally strong. Her interaction with every character and especially Jungkook has originality. I loved how you depicted the bond between them. Nothing felt forced, it flowed well.
◗Character Enticement- (9/10)
I was definitely intrigued to keep reading to know what happens to Yn. Also, how she will complete her wishes. Her point of view towards the world was unique. She was so wise and positive-minded. Indeed, a refreshing character to read.
◗Grammar and Vocabulary- (8/10)
Your writing style is amazing and the same goes for the grammar. But I found some tenses error every here and there. Not much is noticeable which I'm sure can be fixed by proofreading. The vocabulary was at the point, neither plain nor too complex.
◗Personal Enjoyment- (9.5/10)
The fact that I don't get into tears very soon was proved wrong here, I was so immersed in Y/n's pain, especially, in the sixteenth chapter...It got me into tears. It was written so uniquely. I'm not much into reading sad stories but this is definitely one of my favourites among all the books I have read by now. Good luck <3
Good luck!
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