❝𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐰𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞, 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞❞

19th January 2017

 Seoul Music Awards

↳CHAEYOUNG ༉‧₊˚✧

An award show, everyone is excited. I guess that's what everyone is- excited, Lisa is jumping around like a monkey, Jennie unnie is trying her hardest to look soulless but no one can hide her small gummy smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, Jisoo unnie is just smiling widely and I am trying my hardest to be happy but that one idiotic memory is not letting me.

I avoided him every year till now from high school, now not only I am in the same career as him but we will also see each other. Lord, save me- dang, they have a song on that too, not that I hate BTS, who am I kidding I love them but I despise that one member- Jeon Jungkook, the maknae.

You all will maybe be like- Chaeyoung it was in high school, forget it, easy to say isn't it? Well if it ever happens to any of you I will see how you can forget, or I will rather see how you cry yourself to sleep because you are afraid to show your emotions and how your insecurities grasp the better of you, Anyway, we are going to perform 'Boombayah' and 'Playing with Fire'.

The familiar buzzing of the make-up room, our manager unnie talking to the cue director, the bright blinding lights- yeah, I could get used to these.

"Chaeyoung-ah are you okay?" Lali asked me. Lalisa Manoban, my best friend since high school. She has seen it all from the day I had laughed my brightest to the day I had locked myself in my room and cried my heart out. She has been my other half when I could not, or rather, was not willing to accept my emotions to the time I had topped the class and danced crazily.

"Yeah, I am fine." I curled the corners of my mouth up.

"Why do you even lie when you know I will figure it out anyway?" She quirked her eyebrow.

"Yeah, Lis-" I started but got cut off by her saying- "Whatever Chae, either you forgive and forget or you confront and convince, there's no in-between."

Knowing I had no answer to that she quietly walked away, leaving me with conflicting thoughts in my mind. For years I had tried to run away from him, forget all my memories of him, but he comes back like a phoenix- burnt to death and reborn from ashes. Is he a Stockholm syndrome or is he just another piece of life to be left behind or is he a drug that is burning me and I won't be able to get rid of it?

One question had always riddled me- WHY? Why would he do it? Everyone has a reason for everything, so what was his for tearing my heart apart and shred it to pieces like some kind of disposable item.

My thoughts were wrecked when we were told to go and sit in the idol's area just as BTS's performance was starting. Okay, Jung Hoseok with his dance in Boy Meets Evil- damn! I stared at him like he was an angel from heaven yet devil at the same time.

"My blood, sweat, and tears."

He was sexy, rather he has turned sexy, and what's with the dancing holding the crotch area.

"My cold breathe too."

Jeon, now I get the spell you put on girls, damn back then you were nothing and it still affected me.

"Take it all away."

Ahh, stop this, stop this thing you are doing to me.

"I know they are all yours."

Whatever Chae he broke your heart, leave it.

"But your wings are the devils."

Why are you so hard to forget?

"Baby it is okay if I get drunk."

My head hurt and I shut my eyes and ran off to the bathroom before any of my members could say anything or follow me. Numerous memories of him flooded my mind as I shut the door. Wait a damn minute they have speakers in here too ugh! I sat down against the wall and heard 'Fire' being performed.

"After the sun goes down (after) I stumble and walk"

"Hi, I am Park Chaeyoung." "Hi, I am Jeon Jungkook."

"Everything is messed up, livin' like beep"

"Jeon Jungkook, you idiot you threw a ball at my back."

"Raise your hand and shout burn it up"

"Ah-ha leave me Chaeyoung ah, sorry, don't beat me hehe."

"Cowardly, come here"

"Pssh, what's the answer to question 4?"

"With bare fists, all night long"

I rubbed my temple and came out, the song had ended which means they are heading backstage. I am a member of a rookie girl group maybe they won't recognize me. BOY WAS I WRONG!

"Ahh, Rose sshi anneyonghaseyo!" V spoke up.

"A- Anneyong sunbae!" I bowed politely and tried my best to avoid looking at the bunny beside him. At first look, they are very ravishing and breathtaking. I could feel their energetic aura.

As they introduced themselves to me, all except bunny teeth, they spoke about me and our group. They complimented about our style, music, sync, voices, dance, rap, and everything else maybe.

"Feels great when I can hear it from the world's biggest boyband, BTS," I said gratefully.

"Yah, Jeon Jungkook, be polite and at least introduce yourself," Suga muttered.

"Oh sunbae, we know enough of each other, rather more." I accidentally blurt out involuntarily and regretted it. Sh*t his hyungs didn't know, which is visible from their faces.

"I- I mean that we know each other from high school." I cleared my throat and fake smiled as I pushed my hands towards him unwillingly.

"Yeah!" he smiled sadly. As I looked upon his eye I saw the sadness rooted in it slowly spreading in mine.

'Pogoshipda, my friend.' I wanted to say but that got unsaid as I left his hand, bowed formally, and left.

I am not sure if Blackpink and BTS's first award show together is SMA 2017 but just gave it because I saw reactions on YouTube.