𝐢𓈒 제로 세븐⠀⠀──⠀⠀𝗍𝗎⍺⠀⠀𝗽𝘂𝗿𝗮⠀⠀𝗉𝗈𝖾𝗌𝗂⍺⠀⠀.
𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗌𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌    ঌ    𝗈𝖿    𝗍𝗁𝖾 ─── 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥
𝗌𝗍.⠀ ꮮꮓꭱꮯꮮᏼ ⠀♰
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ⓘ 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝖻𝗎𝗅𝗅𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀
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𝗁𝗍𝗍𝗉𝗌//𝗄𝗂𝖺𝗇𝖿𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗌.𝖼𝗈𝗆 ͏᭥ㅤ ͏ 𖤐 . In the beginning before sports before anything related to extra curricular activities there was music. Even when he didn't want music to be a part of his life, it still became a part of it. He never liked doing them type of music that his mom did. Opera. Sure it was a beautiful type of music, but it never really suited him. Rock, indie, R&B had always been his style and so when he got the moment to showcase it off, he didn't let it slip by. In the 6th grade, he and his classmates for music class got to write their own songs. And after that very first moment over the next few years he started to continue to write songs, even though he never fully intended on publishing them or anything like that. So you could say his dad being a producer and his mom being an opera singer kind of wore off on him even if he didn't want it to.

𝗁𝗍𝗍𝗉𝗌//𝗄𝗂𝖺𝗇𝖿𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗌.𝖼𝗈𝗆 ͏᭥ㅤ ͏ 𖤐 . As much as he wants to say that his life has been simple he couldn't lie. Ever since he was a child, he had always hated his accent, and it didn't seem to get any better when he first joined the company, he was bullied because of the way he spoke English, which is kind of funny, looking back on it now because the people who bullied him didn't really know English as well as he did. They spoken broken English while he just spoke with a fully fluent Scottish accent. But hey, he's achieved more than they ever have in the last two years than they have since they begun training. He started to learn how to appreciate his accent and because his best friend seems to enjoy it.

𝗁𝗍𝗍𝗉𝗌//𝗄𝗂𝖺𝗇𝖿𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗌.𝖼𝗈𝗆 ͏᭥ㅤ ͏ 𖤐 . He almost quit training. It was summer spring of 2022. Not because he didn't believe in himself, but because he thought no one else did. Because during training he didn't really have many friends and most of the time many people thought he was kind of mean because of the time where he raised his voice at a training coach because of them targeting one student when the whole group was messing up. He hadn't meant to raise his voice, but it just happened and so no one really wanted to be around him because of it. They labeled him as mean and disrespectful to seniors. And even before, that his self-confidence about even getting to the point of debuting was already starting to dwindle. So he had been debating about quitting for a few months at that point. Would have stopped him from further going through with it was a member of staff asking if he was OK. The words were simple, but they were enough to change his mind. He just needed someone to talk to and so that staff member became go to person to talk to whenever things got tough and luckily they're still working at the company.

𝗁𝗍𝗍𝗉𝗌//𝗄𝗂𝖺𝗇𝖿𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗌.𝖼𝗈𝗆 ͏᭥ㅤ ͏ 𖤐 . After everything has happened whenever he talks about his mother, he doesn't call her mom because that just isn't the word he would use to describe her anymore. Sure he would call her that when he was younger because back then he was still a child who was holding onto that connection he wanted to have with his mother. It wasn't like his mom was as horrible to him as she was to his older brother, but she was still distant. So now that he's distancing himself from her like he should've been doing years ago he started to call her well her because mother isn't the right word to describe her. He doesn't even have her contact in his phone as mother anymore. It's not her first name or a mother in any other language that he knows it's just her with two hearts. One that's broken and one that is black because he suffered through so much with her and so he has a broken heart because of it, and the black heart represents him, pushing himself away from her.

𝗁𝗍𝗍𝗉𝗌//𝗄𝗂𝖺𝗇𝖿𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗌.𝖼𝗈𝗆 ͏᭥ㅤ ͏ 𖤐 . He still owns his first notebook. The cover is covered in band stickers and duct tape to keep it together. He hasn't wrote in years because it is filled up. He calls it the book of chaos because that book was used for so many stuff. Like writing songs, writing down his thoughts, drawings, a whole bunch of things. There are a few recipes that he even made up in there. A lot of the recipes he made up when there was limited food in his dad or mom's house. So he had to be creative with them.

Entry 04 — "Midnight Brain Melt"
Location: Dad's apartment, one working stove burner
Mood: hungry & mildly dramatic
Ingredients:
• 1 pack of instant ramen (toss the flavor packet, it tastes like salt and regret)
• 2 big spoonfuls of peanut butter
• A dash of soy sauce
• Spicy chips, crushed
• 1 egg (if we've got one)
Method:
Boil the noodles like normal. Drain almost all the water. Dump in the peanut butter and soy sauce—stir like you're mad at someone. If we've got an egg, scramble it in last-minute. Crush the chips on top.
Kian's Note:
Dad was asleep. I made this at 12:43 a.m. while listening to Nirvana. Honestly not bad. A little weird. But weird in a comforting way. Like me?

𝗁𝗍𝗍𝗉𝗌//𝗄𝗂𝖺𝗇𝖿𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗌.𝖼𝗈𝗆 ͏᭥ㅤ ͏ 𖤐 . He has a habit of rereading over messages he was going to send to his mom, but never did. He has lots of them saved in his gallery like screenshots. A lot of the messages are him basically spilling out all his anger at her. He will admit that there are a few cuss words in there but nothing derogatory towards her. It's just him telling her how pissed off he is that she's so happy about a new baby when she wasn't happy for him or his brother. It's him just ranting about different things. Everything he wanted to tell her but yet he didn't send them. None of them. He feels like a coward because of it. He wants so bad to just send them all at her at once and let her know that his feelings need to be validated too, and that she doesn't get to treat him like this, but he never did or he thinks he will. Maybe in the future or maybe not?

𝗁𝗍𝗍𝗉𝗌//𝗄𝗂𝖺𝗇𝖿𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗌.𝖼𝗈𝗆 ͏᭥ㅤ ͏ 𖤐 . The first time he's ever been awestruck was when their debut stage happened. He had never pictured anyone would sing their song back to them while they were performing. But it was amazing to hear and see because he had been worried their debut wouldn't resonate with people, but he was surprised to see that it did. The moment he heard them singing he was frozen on the spot. Just listening to them sing the song back was enough to make him realize that this is what he wants to do and continue to hear the sound that warms his heart. So much so that when they had their first concert in Seoul he held a microphone out to the crowd so they could sing which he was so proud of, and it warmed his heart.

𝗁𝗍𝗍𝗉𝗌//𝗄𝗂𝖺𝗇𝖿𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗌.𝖼𝗈𝗆 ͏᭥ㅤ ͏ 𖤐 . A few months ago, Kian quietly started learning how to box. At first, it was just meant to be a way to stay in shape and let off steam, but it didn't take long for the members to start noticing a shift in him. They're not scared of him—not really. It's not like they think he'd actually hit them. But the thing is... when Kian gets mad, he doesn't raise his voice or storm off. He just gets this look in his eyes, tense and quiet, and suddenly he's pacing or clenching his fists. And now that they know he can actually punch, that silent anger feels heavier. It's not threatening, it's just intense—like he's trying really hard to stay calm by keeping his hands busy. The truth is, boxing became his way of managing all the things he doesn't say out loud. And while the members joke about it, deep down they know it's helped him more than anyone expected.

𝗁𝗍𝗍𝗉𝗌//𝗄𝗂𝖺𝗇𝖿𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗌.𝖼𝗈𝗺 ͏᭥ㅤ ͏ 𖤐 . Every time the group is recording a song—whether it's for album or just a single—Kian has this habit of sneaking in a specific vocal run. It's something he's done from the start, though most people don't catch it right away. He calls it "the panic curl," and it's become his signature move. It began back when he wasn't as confident in his voice and would use the vocal run to cover up nerves or awkward moments in a song. Now, even when he's at his best, he still adds it in, almost as a way of leaving a little trace of himself in every track. The members know it's coming, and some fans have even started to recognize it, though Kian will never point it out himself. It's a quirky, little reminder of how far he's come—though still holding onto the nerves that once pushed him to get better.

𝗁𝗍𝗍𝗉𝗌//𝗄𝗂𝖺𝗇𝖿𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗌.𝖼𝗈𝗆 ͏᭥ㅤ ͏ 𖤐 . One of his favorite things to do is recreate iconic film scores on his electric violin. He says there's something fascinating about how music alone can build tension, tell stories, or make people feel things they don't understand. He doesn't usually perform them publicly—it's more of a private obsession. He'll spend hours trying to match the tone and atmosphere of movie scenes just by ear, layering effects until the sound feels "right." His all-time favorite to play is the Halloween theme. He learned it by heart at fifteen and still pulls it out when he's alone in a studio late at night. The sharp notes and echo from the empty space make it ten times creepier, and he secretly loves when someone walks by and shudders at the sound. He says it's "like summoning a ghost with a melody."

𝗁𝗍𝗍𝗉𝗌//𝗄𝗂𝖺𝗇𝖿𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗌.𝖼𝗈𝗆 ͏᭥ㅤ ͏ 𖤐 . Kian has what the members call his "ghost ear"—an uncanny ability to perfectly recreate any melody he's heard just once. Whether it's a song playing in the background of a shop, a whistle someone passes by humming, or even the faintest tune from a movie score, he can pick up his guitar or violin and play it almost exactly as it was. It's not something he learned—he just started noticing it around the age of 12, and it's only gotten sharper since. He doesn't flaunt it, but every now and then someone will hum something absentmindedly, and he'll play it back a few minutes later without even realizing he's doing it. What freaks the members out the most, though, is when he wakes up with entire melodies in his head that no one's ever heard before—ones he swears came from his dreams.

𝗁𝗍𝗍𝗉𝗌//𝗄𝗂𝖺𝗇𝖿𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗌.𝖼𝗈𝗆 ͏᭥ㅤ ͏ 𖤐 . Kian has this weird thing where, whenever he's in a dark headspace—even if he's pretending he's fine—he always wakes up at exactly 3:17 a.m. No alarms, no noise, just sudden, sharp awareness. It's not every night, and it doesn't happen when he's just tired or stressed—it's only when something deeper is wrong, the kind of thing he hasn't admitted out loud yet. At first, he thought it was a coincidence, but it's been happening for years now, and the time never changes. He's tried going to bed earlier, later, even leaving music on, but nothing stops it. He doesn't even check the clock anymore—he just knows. The members used to joke that his "ghost sense" was acting up, but now they don't really say anything when it happens. They just check in quietly the next day.

𝗁𝗍𝗍𝗉𝗌//𝗄𝗂𝖺𝗇𝖿𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗌.𝖼𝗈𝗆 ͏᭥ㅤ ͏ 𖤐 . Since middle school, Kian's been unconsciously drawing the same faceless figure in the margins of his notebooks, practice sheets, and even baking recipes. He never really noticed it until a fan pointed it out in a behind-the-scenes video—zoomed in on the corner of a lyric sheet he was holding, circled the tiny sketch, and posted about how it shows up in almost everything he writes. The figure's always the same: tall, slightly hunched, with long fingers and no face—just a blank oval where features should be. When he went back through old notebooks, he found it everywhere, sometimes drawn dozens of times in one place. He says he doesn't remember starting it and doesn't know why he still does it, but for some reason, he can't bring himself to stop. It's like the figure's following him from page to page, silently waiting.

𝗁𝗍𝗍𝗉𝗌//𝗄𝗂𝖺𝗇𝖿𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗌.𝖼𝗈𝗆 ͏᭥ㅤ ͏ 𖤐 . Kian says there's one song he refuses to finish writing—because every time he gets close, something bad happens. He started it years ago, just a melody at first, and every time he's tried to turn it into a full track, he either falls sick, someone gets hurt, or something in his life completely derails. The worst time was during training—he worked on it for two days straight, and on the third day, he got news that someone close to him had been hospitalized. Now he keeps the half-finished sheet in the back of his lyric folder, untouched. He's changed the chords, tried rewriting the words, but the core of it always sounds the same. The members don't know what the song is—he's never played it out loud. He just calls it the song he's "not meant to sing."

- ēp. 𝟬𝟲   .  — 𝔩𝔲𝔷𝔯𝔠𝔩𝔲𝔟
⠀ 𝔩𝔲𝔷𝔯 / 𝔠𝔩𝔲𝔟 •: ⸙ 𝙖ʀᴄᴀᴅᴇ ﹙᥉ꫝᎥᥒᎥᥒ﹚