I take it back. I'm angry again. But first, I'm shocked and ashamed.

Soaking wet, I entered the house smiling to myself. Thomas likes me. Thomas freaking likes me.

It vanished when I saw the worried look on my mother's face and the serious look on my father's. "We know." is all he says. And all he needs to say. My heart sank.

"You told them?" I shoot at Thomas. Before I can scream at him and be all mad again, my mom talks again. "Honey, it's good that he told us, we want to help you."

I spin around back to them. "The only way to help me is to give me back my-" but I stop, not daring to finish my sentence. 

Taking pills and saying you're taking pills is something completely different. And I can't get myself to just say it. That one word.

Pills. 

"It's okay. We'll get you the help-" "I don't. Need. Help" It is starting to get on my nerves. They all think they know what they're talking about. They all pretend that im some sick little baby that needs help because she can't take care of herself. 

They all bug me with it. They all think they know what I need. They all think they can force me into stoping. How wrong they are. 

Angrily I shut my door closed. Not locking it though.

My fingers tangle up in the roots of my hair and out of frustration, I pull the strands that got cought up in my grip.

A groan left my mouth. I'm getting really desperate. If I would still have 'em, I would've took one. Or two. Maybe three.

But I don't.

With fast steps I walk from one side of my room to the other and back. I make circles that actually look more egg-like but who cares?

My feet pick up their pace from alone and I nearly stumble over myself, but I can't seem to slow down. I need something to distract me and something to let off some steam.

Suddenly I flinch at a bang echoing up to my room. My heart rate picks up a little and I feel uneasy.

Then my lights flicker.

Flickering Lights.

In a second, I'm back at Target. Back in that aisle, getting threatened with a knife. My feet won't pick up their pace and the man keeps coming closer.

"Elliot run"

Where is he? I can't see him, nor can I look. It's like something is holding my head in place, forcing me to look at the man keep coming closer.

Just when he was about to stab me with it I close my eyes, though I don't get stabbed. When I open my eyes, I wish I would've got that knife in me.

A gun is pointed at me. In my face. Finger ready to pull the trigger.

Why can't I run? I can't control my body. I'm frozen in place as if my feet rooted to ground.

I can't breathe anymore, or more like I still can't breath. I can't focus, my thoughts are running through my head faster than light and slower than the school bus which arrives late everyday. Even though I don't take the bus.

Heat burns me alive while it feels like I'm freezing to death at the same time.

Death...

Will I die know?

I scream for Elliot again, that he should run. Just leave me here, it's my fault either way. He doesn't deserve this, in fact, I should be the one taking the bullet.

The blood on my hands should literally be mine and not his.

"Hope!" Echoes through my head. "Hope what's wrong?" It sounded like my brother but why would he ask this in such a situation?

I still can't see him, in fact, everything is getting pretty blurry right know.

"It's fine, I'm here, you're okay."

Am I?

It still feels like I'm dying. My lungs burn as they crave for oxygen and I feel my quick Heartbeat everywhere. The voice still echoes through my head, as if the inside looked like a mirrorball and every little piece made the words reflect to the next.

The lights are now shining into my eyes. I can't see.

"Hey, it's me, Thomas."

Warm hands take mine and I guess it's his.

"Listen to me alright? I'm gonna ask you some questions and you'll answer okay?" His voice was soft and I nodded, or at least I hope I did.

His "Good, okay, uh." confirmed my nod.

"What's your name?" "Hope." I barely recognize or hear myself talk.

"Perfect, what's your favorite color?" "Purple." It started to sound familiar an I tried to get air into my lungs, though it didn't work and I got even more panicked.

"No, it's alright. I'm here, Elliot is here, you're gonna be fine. Just concentrate on answering."

He clears his throat. "What is your favorite food?" "Pasta and Nachos with cheese dip from the cinema."

"Who's your favorite Maze Runner character?" "Minho." If I could barely hear my voice before, than this is only a huff of non existing air. "Good choice, I like him too."

At this point, I wish it would all just end now. It feels like torture. Just letting go of everything seems more-

"No, Hope, stay with me. What's your goldfishes name?" Deep breath. "Greg."

"Who's your brother?" "Elliot." And the air came rushing to my lungs. Slowly.

"Who are your best friends?" Another deep breath. "Becca and Ana."

Suddenly the lights dimmed and looked like the lights hanging from ceiling in my room.

I blinked a few times and took my surroundings in until I meet a beautiful pair of brown eyes, belonging to a pretty boy with dark hair and Asian features.

Not Minho, though. It's Thomas.

I free myself from the arms that have a hold of me and wrap my arms around the Asian boy. Hesitant for just a second he hugs me back and I find myself melting into him.

His body gives me warmth and security. I feel safe with him and I certainly do not want to let go. It feels like I can finally breath on properly and in addition I can smell his nice scent.

Every single muscle in my body relaxes and I feel safe again. My thoughts wander to a certain pouring rain and I feel my lips tingle at the thought of our kiss.

"Is she asleep?" It was Elliot speaking and reminding me he actually sits next to us. Heat rises in my cheeks as I realize in which position I am in, or more certainly in which arms I'm buried.

"I think so, panic attacks can be tiring, I think." That's it. I'll just pretend to be asleep. Or maybe I just don't have to pretend.

All the comfort sinks in, though I'm still a bit overwhelmed from the previous events.

My head hurts a little and my leg does too as my heart is still pounding against my ribcage a little too fast, reminding me of my burning lungs which are grateful for the oxygen they're receiving now.

I genuinely don't want to experience such a strong panic attack again. The pills would help, they would prevent them to happen. And maybe I could really just take them when it gets this bad.

As I start to fly up in the air I wish my thoughts could just fly away like that. Gone and lost, never to be seen again.

But they don't. They bother me. Panic me. Irritate me.

They stay and they will probably haunt me in my sleep because I don't got any pills in my system.

I slowly sinks in that I will be reminded of the incident more than before.

I hear my bedroom door close gently after an "I'll be downstairs l." from my brother. He was whispering, meaning my plan in fake sleeping succeed. Well, the part where I really wanted to sleep didn't but still.

Next thing I know is my bed underneath me and I immediately miss the warmth Thomas' body prevents. He slowly let's go of me, carefully placing and pulling my sheets over my body.

When he leaves now I'll be alone. So unintentionally my hand reaches for his, wrapping my fingers around his wrist. I open my eyes to meet his, scrunched eyebrows over them.

"Stay."

I still sound groggy and my voice did crack, but he understood me and takes my hand into his. "Wait." He ends up completely letting go, grabbing a chair and placing it next to my bed.

I scoot closer to that edge, already feeling more tired.

I'm scared to sleep though. What if I get a nightmare? I can't go through this right know. I don't.

"Just close your eyes. It'll all be fine." Reassuring he takes his seat and strokes my cheek-face, not butt-giving me comfort.

Slowly I close my eyes, feeling the tiredness overwhelm me.

I'm out in no time, though I never stop feeling a warm hand wrapped around mine.

No Nightmares. No panic. Peace.

//°°\\

A/n:

I feel like this chapter started not so good, I'm not really satisfied with it, tho I don't feel like changing it (no idea how). But I think the middle part is okay, tho the end starts to be more of a filler againnnn.

Yeah, sorry bout that.

I'm really exited to write the next chapter, that idea came on my first day in school (I think) and I wrote it down on a piece of paper like a maniac so I don't forget it again.

That's it, except I still don't really look over any mistakes, apologies for those, and of course feel free to correct em.

Oh, and what do you think of Hope and Thomas? Are they too cringe or is too clingy?

Have a great day or rest of it!

WrittenBy09