The next time my eyes opened, I was still in the same hospital room.

"I see you're awake", a kind voice beside me spoke. "Yesterday you were still under shock and overwhelmed by the scenes that happened."

Yesterday. The store. Flickering lights. A shot. The hospital.

It was all real. Not a nightmare. Nothing I could escape from.

" I gave a prescription for pills that calm you down. We suspect that when you fainted you had a panic attack and after such a traumatic event it's very common to suffer from those."

I was only able to nod. No words where there. Not even in my brain. But I felt that they will come back. Eventually. And the nurse continued.

"I talked with your parents, of course, and enlightened them that they can give you the pills if you continue to suffer from panic attacks."

"Okay"

//°°\\

As I stepped into our home, it was different. On our way my parents told me Elliot's situation and that he was currently in the intensive care unit and he wasn't stable enough to receive visitors, but he would get through.

The guilt was still sitting deep in my bones and won't hesitate to terror me.

The promise I gave my parents yesterday to tell them everything is know fulfilling.
With shaking hands and legs, I sat there on the couch, not able to tell where to start.

I rubbed my hands on my knees to get rid of the cold sweat but that didn't help with my discomfort.

"Hope, you need to tell us what happened. Everything and every detail", my father was stern and looked me deep in the eyes. I just gulped.

"Morris, not so harsh, don't you see she is still overwhelmed and uncomfortable?" Not once in my life was I so glad to have my mom on my side, but I did understand my dad.

"I-" Deep breath in an out. "We- we went to the store to get ice cream. We wanted to make a movie night. No, I wanted to. It was my idea."

A sob left my mouth as the guilt worsened. I didn't wanted to think about everything, nor to talk about it. But I knew I had to face the truth. So eventually, I continued.

"We walked to target. We laughed. And when we arrived and went into the store there was this kind man asking us where to find kitchen utensils. Eli told him and we went to get our things. The kind man appeared in front of us and wanted to take our money, a kitchen knife in his hand. Eli pushed me behind him and told the man we didn't have any but obviously the man knew we lied so Elliot took my hand and we started running. At the exit was another man standing. He had a mask and approached us. Mom, dad he had a gun and pointed it at us."

Another loud sob left my mouth as my parents took both my hands. Showing me support as I speaked.

"Elliot pushed me away, the man shot at him and the lights started to flicker and I was so scared and it happened so fast and I feel so bad and it's all my fault."

They took me into their arms. Loudly sobbing and crying I wet my dads shirt as my mom caressed my back and running her fingers through my hair.

"Sshhh", she shushed "It's not your fault."

I hiccuped and continued to cry, still sobbing until no tears where left. Only faint stains on my cheeks.

"Come on" Dad helped me get up. As we walked to my room, I saw a glimpse of my reflection. My eyes where bloodshot, dryed tears stained my cheeks and bags surrounded my eyes. My light hair was quite messy, maybe because it hasn't been brushed for a while.

"Try to catch some sleep" Dad encouraged me to lay down. Sunshine hit my face as I looked out the window. "But it's not even dark outside and I'm not tired" I stated. "You look tired, though. But if you don't want to sleep read something or watch a movie, I don't even care. Just distract yourself, your mother and I have to go to the grocery store so you'll be alone a bit."

Awkward, I just stood there, no idea of how to respond. "Come here." He widened his arms and embraced me in a tight hug. My arms wrapped around his torso and I closed my eyes. I loved my dad. I really do. And I didn't have the courage to look him in the eyes, afraid of what I would see.

As he left my room, I stood there in silence again. My thoughts began to get louder again. The pills. The pills to calm me down. The nurse said my parents had them. Only problem was, my parents already left. Just the memory of how good and light my head and whole life felt made me to want to take those again.

But now I had to distract myself, just as my father told me to. With my head spinning, I went down to the living room and put the TV on. After deciding what to watch, I started my favorite movie The Maze Runner. It is not that of a popular movie, but Elliot convinced me to watch it. A warm feeling washed over me, caused by the thoughts of that day.

Now Elliot is in the hospital.

Fast it turned the movie of and continued to watch one of my favorite TV shows for the billionth time by now. It did distract me of my thoughts, but some did slip through and I felt wrenched out. Tired, but not in a sleepy way. Just tired of myself. And everything else. Like nothing could make me happy.

Nothing seemed to be enjoyable. Not even my favorite scenes. Maybe food could help. Just a little snack. But when I was standing in the kitchen, no drawer opened. So I opened them all. Looking at what we've got. Some of my favorites where there. But only the thinking about eating them and tasting them and having them in my stomach made me close the drawers again.

No snack it is.

As is sat back on the couch, I just stared at the wall. Why are my thoughts like this?

Why don't I enjoy the things I used too? Maybe sleeping would help after all, thinking about the process of getting ready for bed was kinda de motivating, though I ended up still going into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

By the time I finished, the sun was going down. My parents texted me that they visited a friend of theirs and asked if I was okay, wich I replied yes to. They deserve to be with friends. Not around me and my bad mood.

That's it.

I'm only in a bad mood. Tomorrow, when I wake up, I will feel better. Feel like myself again. Tomorrow I will eat Oreos and enjoy them. Tomorrow I will laugh at my favorite scenes. And tomorrow I will visit Elliot. Probably have to ask first, but you know what I mean..

I will have to apologize to him and tell him it's my fault. God, I hope he isn't mad at me. I hope he is doing well and that he will be alright after all and fully recover.

My eyelids started to get heavy, though my eyes where still a tiny bit open. I yawned and eventually closed my eyes. The tiredness fully taking me into my dreams.

Tomorrow I will...

//°°\\

A/N:
The second chapter is done!

I know they aren't that long, but the story hasn't really started yet and something has to be the filler.

This was mostly Hope and her thoughts, but don't worry, she will be having a happy side and she will be enjoying things again!

I hope the part where she drifts off to those depressive thoughts is realistic, I tried my best.

Have a good day, or rest of the day!

X WrittenBy09