Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
Proverbs 18:21

“Seriously, Anna… you two looked perfect!” Mercy bolted as she saw the picture I and Melchour had as we danced the previous Sunday.

“Shh! Mercy!” her lips curved into a grin as she flashed a playful gaze at me.

“You certainly had something going on between you, haven’t you? c’ mon, spill!” I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed as she finished her statement.

“Mercy… stop. You’re giving me goosebumps!” I replied as we both got down the jeepney. “There is absolutely nothing going on between us. Besides if you saw how Geneva sliced me with her glares last Sunday you wouldn’t be saying those things right now.”

“Well, who cares about Geneva!” she scoffed. “If you’re the one he danced with and not her, it should already make that clear for you!” I sighed as I let her finish her words. The more I thought of what she was saying the more I felt confusion engulf me.

Why did he choose me when Geneva was there? Oh goodness… he couldn’t possibly have taken that dance seriously, besides, I wouldn’t be the kind of woman that he’d want- would I?

“Whatever, Mercy; I think it’s best for us to change the subject,” I replied as I grabbed my phone from her hand. “We’re already here in the church so… let’s go!”

“Come on, Ann—woah!” Her response was interrupted as I began to pull her to the church’s gate. I wouldn’t want to hear more of her persuasion lest I find myself in an even more confused state.

As we made our way to the pews the view of Geneva standing in the platform welcomed us. Hmm, she must be the worship leader for today. The curiosity increased in me as I realized I have never heard her lead before.

“Good Morning, Anna!” My attention shifted as I heard the deep voice of Pastor Fernando address me. “I know its short notice but would go ahead and back sister Geneva up for the worship? Surprisingly none of the youths showed up in practice yesterday so no one was assigned. It’s her first time leading the worship here in the main church so she might need some help.” My gaze returned to Geneva as I thought of Pastor Fernando’s words. I would gladly want to support her, but how would she react if I did?

“Pastor… is there really nobody else available to back her up, right now?”

“I’m afraid you’re the only one at this moment; I don’t see any of the youth right now.” I began to wonder as I pondered on Pastor Fernando’s words. Where did all the young people go?

“Alright then, Pastor… oh, but did you inform her?”

“Oh yes… I told her someone would definitely back her up today. I’m sure she’ll be happy about it.”

I sure wished she would be, especially if she found out it was me. I took a deep breath and began to walk to the platform; a bit nervous about what may happen.

“Will you be alright?” I heard Mercy Whisper. “Yes, I think I’ll be fine. Do pray for me, okay?” I replied as I held on to her hands.

“Sure, Anna…” Assurance seeped in my heart as I heard her response.

“Thank you.”

“By the way, Anna the song lyrics are in the pulpit drawer…” I nodded in response to Pastor Fernando and made my way to the platform. Oh Lord, May Your Will be Done…

“Quite cold, though isn’t it Melchour?” The response of Pastor Ryan got me thinking. Come to think of it, it is Geneva’s first time in leading worship after all. Maybe she just got pressured… or something like that?

“Well, I wouldn’t be in the right position to judge Brother,” I replied with a chuckle. “You know I have little knowledge about the singing part.” Pastor Ryan began to laugh as he heard my statement.

“Ah… trying to be safe now, aren’t you? Well! I guess we should leave it at that then. Worship leading is a process to be learned as time goes by, after all.”

“Indeed, Bro. By the way, do you have any news as to where the youth are? They haven’t been showing up since last Sunday. First, it was Marienne and her boyfriend and now the others are gone as well…” I felt my heart sink as I recalled the previous events that had happened.

“Oh… I have no idea, Melchour. I too have been thinking about this. Marienne said she finally came to a decision though, that she’d commit in the church she is in now. The others, however, I haven’t heard from them ever since. I think probably, like how the other youth have done, they too have been sent out after being trained here. You remember when we were the youth here too, right? We were around seventeen back then… now it’s only the two of us.”

I heaved a sigh as I listened to him speak. He is right. This church had been known to be this 'Hospital Church', after all. People with broken hearts and lives would come and then once they'd be healed God would send them into another church - probably to share the fire they've recieved. But still, somehow I couldn't bring myself to fully accept. Could that be the reason? Or is it... I returned my gaze towards Ryan.

“I guess you’re right, Ryan… I suppose letting go and letting God would be the best thing we should do at this moment.”

“Amen… well! My wife’s already calling so I guess I need to get going now. Will you be staying here until the afternoon?”

“Uh, yes… I think it’s best to push through with the Youth service anyway. We don’t know if some of the youth would suddenly show up.”

“Alright, then. Pastors going on duty that’s what we call It,” he replied as he stood; his words accompanied by a chuckle.

“Take care, Brother.” I saw him nod in acknowledgment and began to leave for the church’s door.

Silence overcame the church as I watched the empty pews. Despite the words of wisdom he imparted, I felt a heavy burden weigh in my heart. It seemed as though to me, the events that had happened implicated my failure as an overseer.

Was I not effective enough? Doubt crept in my heart as I began to kneel before the altar. I desperately wanted to hear God’s voice.

In surrender, I implored His Presence… I wanted to know exactly what He wanted me to do. Echoes of my voice speaking in tongues filled the room… I felt warm tears of hunger run down my face.

I want to hear Your Voice Lord; I want to hear You speak…

I drew a deep breath as I waited for His response, in the solemnity of His Presence I waited for Him, my yearning heart earnestly longing for Him. Minutes passed of silence and I began to feel my heart waver. Another set of tears flowed as I began to accept the rejection of my prayers.

When suddenly in the dead silence of the room, a voice of a woman ringed in my ears. My eyes shot open as I began to recognize whom the voice belonged to… the view of Anna and Mercy along with four men and five women entering the through the door welcomed me as I turned my head. 

I felt hope surge my heart. I swiftly stood from where I knelt and began to wipe my own tears. Words of deep gratitude for God bubbled in my heart as I watched the visitors approach. In my heart I knew, this was God’s answer to my prayers.

The cold wind blew through the door as we pushed the church’s door open. “Anna… isn’t that Pastor Melchour standing in the middle of the Altar?” I heard Mercy whisper.

“Well, yes… I wonder what he’s doing in there.” As we approached I saw a bright smile form in Melchour’s lips. I couldn’t help but notice his eyes, though, had he been crying?

“Hello, Pastor!” his hands instantly met mine as I stretched it out.

“Hello… I see you brought some company, care to introduce them?” he entreated with a smile.

“Of course! I believe you’ve seen some of them around the school. They attend Kingsford University as well…”

“Oh really? How nice… come to think of it they do actually look familiar.”

“It was Mercy and Jason that had invited them. They were here last Sunday too but since we were so busy with the anniversary we weren’t able to meet them…” I explained. “By the way, you guys, this is Pastor Melchour… the overseer of the Youth Ministry here.” The others nodded in acknowledgment as I introduced Melchour.

Mercy continued the introduction and we all made our way to the pews and took a seat. It wasn’t very long when Geneva and her sister also showed up and joined the fellowship. As much as I tried not to; I still felt tension run down my bones every time she’s around. The vibe she gave made me feel really uncomfortable. A few minutes passed and Mercy announced that the Youth Fellowship would be starting.

Oh well, it might be best if I just kept my attention from her… after all, it was the Lord we came here for.

---

“Johanna, I’ve asked Jason to go and buy some food for us, would it be okay if I asked your help with the preparation?” Melchour’s voice sounded serene as he spoke.

“Sure, Pastor… I’ll be glad to. I’ll go ahead to the Pastoral house then while you fix things up in here…” I replied and began to lift my bag.

“—I’ll be assisting her.” We heard Geneva volunteer as she began to stand in her seat and head to my direction. Immediately, the tension I felt earlier again was awakened as she approached.

“Oh thank you, Geneva…”

She gave Melchour a smile and began to cling to my arms. “So, let’s go?”

“S-sure…” I saw Mercy eyeing us as Geneva pulled me to the Pastoral House. I knew she was as worried as I am. I wasn’t very sure but the way Geneva’s treating me right now gave me a really bad feeling.

Jason met us along the way as we approached the Pastoral House “Oh, Anna the food is laid on the table… would you be needing any help?”

I certainly feel that I would … “Oh ye--“

“--Actually no, she and I can handle it. I think the others in the church needs more of the help, Jason.”

I was startled. This doesn't feel right - any of it. I took another deep breath and followed her to the Pastoral.

“Alright then!” Jason replied as he headed for the church.

As soon as we entered the room I immediately went to the table and took out the powdered juice. An awkward silence filled the room.

“So Anna…” the sound of her voice made my heart jump.

Oh, dear Heavens- I do hope this doesn’t get any worse. “Yes?”

“I heard a lot of comments about the dance last week…”

“The… dance?”

“Yes. The way you danced the Sakiki with Melchour; seemed perfect they say.”

A contrived smile was drawn from her lips; giving me the feeling she wasn’t very happy about it, at all. Well, the way she threw those glares at me last week already gave the idea.

“Well uhh… It was just a dance I don’t think—“

“I know you’ve probably noticed how kind Melchour was… correct?

“Uhh, yes h-he’s… quite kind.”

“He is actually very endearing, sometimes. This is why many women actually mistake his kindness for something else. I know you’ve felt it too, but consider this a reminder from a concerned sister;” She let go of the pitcher she held and inclined her piercing glance to me. “Don’t take his kindness wrong...” Her words felt like a sting of bees, for a moment I didn’t have a word to say.

“I-I’ll keep that in mind,” I replied with my head lowered.

“Men like him deserve women who aren’t just… ordinary. You’ve seen his ministry, right? If he was to actually like someone; we wouldn’t even be able to make it as a possibility...”

My chest heaved as I listened to her words. As much as I resisted, I felt my eyes water with tears. I know that what she said was true, but the pain I felt in actually hearing it seemed unbearable.

“I-I couldn’t agree more…” I managed to reply as I wiped the tears that escaped my resisting eyes. It wasn’t long when we heard the voices of the other youth come in. I quickly composed myself and set the pizza and juice in the middle of the table.

“Hey… thank you for the help, Anna…” Melchour stated as he made his way to my direction with a smile.

I wanted to return his smile, but the words of Geneva kept recanting in my mind as I watched him approach. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him directly now after what I had just heard.

“You’re welcome Melchour… well; shall we begin to devour the food now?” I replied forcing a smile.

“We should!” His bright smile accompanied his speech. We turned our attention to the food as we heard Mercy begin to pray for it.

As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t seem to bring myself to enjoy the food that was laid before me. The environment felt so eerie as though I was sitting in the middle of a burning house.

“Are you alright Anna?” I heard Mercy whisper. “What happened here? Did she say something?”

I let out another sigh as I turned my gaze to her. I couldn’t say a word… my tongue not being able to put in words the heaviness I felt.

“I-I’m not really feeling well right now Mercy… I think it’s best if I go ahead.” I stammered. I slowly grabbed my bag and headed to the door.

“Anna, are you sure?” her hand gripped my wrists stopping me in my tracks.

“Yes… I’ll see you tomorrow at school, Mer…” I replied and continued to walk to the door.

“Are you leaving, Anna?” I heard Melchour call out.

“Yes… I’m not feeling very well right now. I think I need some rest.” I replied as I watched him approach me. In the corner of my eye I saw Geneva’s sharp stares flashed at me; to which I felt my stomach turn.

“Really? Well then let me walk you home… if you’re not  feeling good I think it’s best if I’d go with you.” His sincere eyes proved the concern in his voice, but I couldn’t let him. If I allow him to treat me this way; I might mistake his actions… just like what Geneva has said.

“Uh… no. I think I’ll do fine on my own… thank you Melchour.” Without waiting for his response I swiftly made my way to the door, my heart pounding so hard that I could hear it. Guilt gripped my emotions as I continued to walk; I knew I shouldn’t have let my admiration for him grow, but it seemed as though the more I walked away, the truth became evident; I had valued him… more than I should have.