THE GIRLS TRIED ON THE DRESSES,
that Diana had chosen out for them to wear for the day.
Anne's dress was a light blue just like she loved it  and Bella's was actually pink.

"This looks like one of Ruby's dresses." She said and then remembered about the blonde little girl that couldn't come to the party.

"How is she doing? I haven't heard since she left queens." Bella asked. She hadn't seen Ruby because the girl hasn't been going to school and Bella herself had been occupied.
Diana sighed, exchanging a look with Anne.

"She barely got her second class license and she doesn't seem to get better, I'm afraid. Jane said they've called the doctor." Diana said and then looked at Anne for help.
Ruby studied at queens to be a teacher and attended to do the second class license while Anne and Bella took up second year work.

"Oh that's sad. She was so excited about the upcoming hall meeting in our class." Bella exclaimed and gave Anne a suspicious look. The girl was too quiet and something odd laid in the air.

"Bella." Anne said and walked towards the girl. She took the blonde haired hand into her own.
Something about Anne's look caused an uneasy feeling in Bella's stomach. Her blue eyes locked into the blondes in worry.

"They think Ruby has tuberculosis."

•

Later after the festive Anne and Bella walked home with stomachs full of cake and tea. Bella noticed that her red haired friend was quieter than usual. Normally, Anne would start talking about the trees or the beauty of the beginning of summer or the book they were currently writing together but today she chose to stay at the ground in front of her.
Not that it would bother Amybella. She could use the time of quietness greatly after all the chattering, to return to her own thoughts.

She thought about the way that Diana had called her refusal to Gilbert a scandal.
Was it that scandalous? Would she ruin her reputation all over again just like Billy's father threatened, when he proposed a marriage between her and his son?
She didn't want it to seem like she lead Gilbert on. She liked him of course. The picture of herself as his wife just pulled on her insides anxiously.
What if he'll regret marrying her? The possibility of both of them living in an unhealthy and unhappy marriage made her insides turn.

"Why did you refuse to marry Gilbert, Bella?" Anne then suddenly asked and it hit Bella right in the bullseye.
She sighed.

"Oh Anne, out of all people I thought you would understand!" She said, her voice desperate as she looked up to the crowns of the trees.

"You love Gilbert, you told me so. And isn't it the most wonderful and astonishing thing for too souls to branch into each other and become one in heart and soul?" She said and made a little turn, dramatically sighing.

"Yes it is." Amybella said, in thought as she repeated Anne's words in her head. Anne had such a talent to find big words and make even the tiniest things seem magical.

"Then what is keeping you from saying yes?" She asked and Bella shook her head.

"Because.." she started searching for the right words.

"I'm not from a good home Anne. I was never taught how to be a good wife, I can't even sow the holes in my own dresses. Rachel said I'd be lucky if anyone wanted to marry someone with such a messy fingers. I'm not a mother. I'm not a housewife, I'm not the girl that's hanging on his
arm." She shrugged her shoulders. She could feel Anne's eyes on her.

"Since when do you care about being a housewife?" Anne asked and caught Bella's look as she turned her head back to the redhead.

"What?" She asked.

"You didn't care about these things when you came here. You didn't care about being a housewife when you started liking Gilbert." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Well because now time has passed. I'm not a little girl anymore! Gilbert is serious about this and I'm starting to have doubts. You have doubts about everything all the time, why can't I?" Bella asked and huffed.

"What are you doubting?" Anne asked further and looked as if she caught something about Bella with her eyes.

"What if he'll regret marrying me? What if I'm not the person he wanted me to be?" She asked and a sick feeling formed in her stomach. The cake she had just eaten seemed to weigh heavy in her guts as the realization of her true fears hit her.

"I'm scared of loosing him." She then stated and Anne sighed.

"I think I know how you feel Bella." Anne said and made the blonde girl look at her again.

"When I came to Green Gables I did everything for Marilla to keep me. And when Matthew was angry with me, I thought he wasn't able to love me anymore." She said and suddenly she stopped walking which caused Bella to stop too.

"I'm used to only being liked by people when I work or behave myself. And the families I worked for could drop me as fast as they took me in." Anne's eyes were pinned into Bella's.

"But Matthew and Marilla taught me that that is not what love is. Love doesn't come and go, like feelings do. It's not just a single desire of the heart or a feeling in one's stomach. It's a relentless force, unbound by reason, crashing through fear and consequence with wild abandon. Aunt Jo said it's questionable and the imprint of who you are and what you expect from the world." The words where like a heavy stream of water coming out of Anne's mouth and when she was finally finished, she took a deep breath and sighed.

"Gilbert won't regret marrying you and he won't stop loving you. Because love is unstoppable in that way, Marilla read it to me from the Bible." Anne said and stepped towards Bella.
The girl sighed and felt a tear running down her cheek.

"Your words are beautiful Anne." She said and then felt the girls arms around her.

"You are worthy of becoming Gilbert's wife Bella. Just because In the past time, you and me didn't receive it in a big amount doesn't mean, we weren't worthy of it." She said and nodded her head against Bella's shoulder.

"Oh Anne." She said and finally started crying.
Grief was such a weird phenomenon. It came sly like a fox at the most unexpected times.

•

"I never as far off the road as green gables but I'd rather live at the bottom of a well than leave Avonlea!" Rachel said to Diana, as she told them about moving out after marrying Fred. Bella said beside them, listening quietly to their conversation.

Anne's words had truly reached her heart and twisted it. Thinking about what she said, sewed Bella's mouth shut and she was barely able to hear herself think.
It changed her whole perspective on the situation and truly made her doubt her decision.

Anne had such a horrible life before she came to Green Gables. She had it ten times worse and endured things that Bella couldn't even imagine.
And if even Anne was able to believe that she was worthy of love, which Bella of course never doubted, then Bella must be a fool for thinking that she couldn't be in a marriage just because of where she came from.
And Gilbert knew all about where she came from and still decided to ask her, which was the most ridiculous thing of them all.

"Amybella." The girl snapped out of her thoughts and met Rachel and Diana's eyes as they had now turned to her.

"My goodness what has gotten into you? You're all quiet and moony, I don't know you like
that. Did you hear what I asked?" Rachel said in a concerned voice.

"Oh I'm sorry Rachel, what was it?" Bella said softly spoken towards the older woman.

"I asked you if you would do that to me and move this far away like Diana. Once you marry that Blythe man, you should stay in Avonlea! We need a doctor here these days, my health is not a friend to my age." She said and eyed the blonde girl with a critical look.

"Of course that doesn't mean that you'd have to worry about my age, I'm still as young as the springing Rivers." She then added and laughed. Amybella laughed with them and then caught Diana's sorrowful look.
She looked away quickly, the doubt of being mistaken in her decision gnawing in her.

"I'm ready!" Anne said as she stepped out of the door.

"Wow I haven't forgotten anything, thank you Marilla and Rachel of course too!" She said, smiling as Marilla stepped out free her. Amybella and the other woman stood up from the porch bench.

"Hurry up now you'll be late!" Marilla said and Anne was already stepping off the porch but she then turned around and ran into Marilla's arms.

"Bye Marilla, I don't know if I Last another year without you! Especially without Matthew around, if you want me to, I really can stay!" She said and talked to fast that Bella barely understood it. Matthew had passed away last summer due to a heart attack. Anne had been with him when it happened and was really glad that she got to spend his last minutes by his side.

But Bella had noticed how much his death had changed Anne. She had told Bella that Matthew was the first to understand her and to like her awful red hair. He truly had filled the gap as her father and raised her together with Marilla to the woman she was now.

"Fiddlesticks, Anne. You have an education to pursue! I will be just fine and we'll wait for you until you come back!" The woman answered and Bella couldn't help it but smile.

"I promise I won't be gone for long! And I'll write for you as often as I can!" Anne said and after she hugged Rachel, she stepped off the porch and got onto the carriage next to Diana. Bella had a carriage right behind them and would follow them any minute.
Marilla and Rachel stood next to each other looking at the redhead.

"Well Marilla, I never would have believed an orphan and a girl like her would turn out so fine! No one can deny she's really tall and stylish now!"
Rachel spoke up and Bella glanced her a look.

"Nobody at all. Can't hopefully remember now, some little girl. Awfully hard I was by that time. Matthew understood it better." Marilla said, waving at the two women.

"Well but it's to your credit, she changed as much as she did."

"Oh she hasn't changed that much. Not really." Marilla said as she kept her eyes on the carriage that was getting smaller in the distance.

"It's us that's changed Rachel."

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