The anthem jolts me awake. 

It's blaring in my ears, notifying me that it's time to see which tributes died yesterday. 

I crawl out of the cave, wincing as my bare palms touch the snow. It hasn't gotten any warmer, it's gotten colder if anything. But I was expecting this. It always gets colder at night, everyone knows this.

It looks like the show above has already started. They're on District 4 now, showing a boy with blond hair before it switches, onto six. Both from five must've survived.

There's the boy from six and the girl from six. Unlucky. Then it switches, showing Adair. I feel a stab of guilt in my chest, but I ignore it.

Then it's nine, where the boy is dead, and eleven, where both are dead. 

The boy from twelve is dead too, and then it ends. 

The sky is quiet. I count in my head. 

I count eight. But I missed the first part. So it could've been six more dead, but I highly doubt that. The careers wouldn't have all died off in the initial bloodbath. 

I realize I never heard the cannons. Maybe I was asleep then. 

So there are either 10 or 16 tributes left. I would prefer the first, obviously. I want to win this, I want to go home even though there's no one for me to go home to. 

I wonder if the cameras are on me right now. 

Surely they must see how I hid away in a cave and then crawled into the snow- though that's not very interesting, really, and it's not like I'm their favorite tribute. 

They probably did have the cameras on me when I killed Adair, though. That's probably showing all over the Capitol on reruns. His family must hate me. 

And it's a first. One tribute killing the other from her district so quickly, when he might've been trying to be nice. Oh well. One less tribute I'd have to kill later. 

I think more about the 10-16 tributes still alive. And honestly, I'm surprised I might be in the final 10. 

It's almost the final eight. 

I wonder what my mother will say when she gets interviewed. 

That is, if I survive.

But still- it's surprising. Mostly the District 7 tributes are killed in the inital bloodbath. 

Apparently, according to the commentators, we all think we're sooooo amazing at wielding weapons and so we run into the cornucopia. And die.

Another reason I hate the Capitol and the people living in it. 

My eyes start to close and I realize that I'm back inside. I lean against the cave wall. 

Maybe I can get some more sleep, since my previous nap was probably less than an hour, considering the sun was already setting when I fell asleep and the update shows right after dark. 

Besides, I'm still tired. I don't want to stay up any longer. 

If I have to die, I'd rather die well-rested.

The last thought floating through my head as I drift off is that that phrase will be engraved on my gravestone.

The next morning, I wake up to the sound of people laughing and talking. I freeze.

There's someone near me. Maybe I can kill them off quick, before they find me first. 

I grab my ax from beside me, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. This is no time to be tired.

I notice the crackle of a fire near the voices. 

Are they stupid?! The careers will be here any moment!

But the fire would be so warm... 

I make up my mind. I'll take their fire, enjoy the warmth and then distinguish it and run away. 

Then there's a low chance of the careers finding me, but I'm a few steps closer to winning and I get to be warmed up slightly, if only for a few seconds. 

I step out of the cave, sliding the leaves out of my way. They fall to the icy ground. I didn't prop them up very well, I guess.

I rest my ax on my shoulder as I look around for the tributes. A thought strikes me. 

Maybe they ARE the careers. It only sounds like two voices, but I don't know how many careers are alive, anyway. I know there's at least one, though. That girl from four. 

Maybe she's with one of the kids from one or two. 

Or maybe it's just two random tributes and I'm compltely wrong. That's also possible. 

Still. Even if they are careers, they're only two people. I've got an ax, I think I can take them. 

And so I hesitantly raise my ax, brandishing my deadly weapon, and silently walk around the bushes in between us. 

I was right. There's two tributes there, a male and a female. I still don't know if she's the one from four, but it's possible. 

They haven't noticed me yet, even though they're sitting across from each other and I'm right behind the boy, in the girl's field of sight. But she's staring into the campfire. They must be allies.  

I think of that old expression my mother taught me. Two birds with one stone. I don't really think it applies in this situation, but it comes to mind. 

I miss those days when we were happy, when my mother would teach me old proverbs and didn't hate me. 

I miss those days when I didn't hate her. Then I was happier. 

I wonder what would've been if I'd has a nice family. One who loved me. Maybe I'd've been happier. 

Or maybe I would be dead. The world is a tough place. Maybe I wouldn't have killed Adair. Maybe he'd've killed me. Then where would I be?

No, my upbringing was fine. It made me who I am now. 

And as I've said before, I like who I am now. 

This all passes through my mind in an instant. 

I raise my ax. It's heavier than I'm used to, a battle ax, not one of the worn-down lighter ones we use in seven. But I can still use it. 

They still haven't noticed me. I think maybe I can manage to kill them both without them alerting the careers. Hopefully. 

My arm starts to swing down, and at the same moment, the girl screams. 

I growl, and my swing misses, lodging my ax into the fallen tree the boy is sitting on. 

Stupid girl! We'll probably all die because of her. 

I pull my ax from the log. It's hard, but I can do it. I raise it, ready to kill these people and be done with it already.