_____

𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒛𝒊𝒆𝒅

_____

day and night blend together

yesterday was just monday

now it's wednesday

the not sleeping

not eating

the feelings of happiness

finally cracks

and in comes the feelings of worthlessness

the feelings of sadness and anger

they break through your walls of happiness

you built to protect yourself

putting up an act

making everyone think that you're perfectly fine

but that breaks

and suddenly you don't know how you feel

your mind is in a constant state of war

one second you're happy

the next you're angry

the unexplainable amount of anger

it hits you randomly

only leaving if you let free

it swirls inside like a tornado

causing destruction when released

the words said to others shoots through them like a bullet

leaving you stuck in a cycle

it begins with you feeling good about yourself

and you are happy to the point where you feel as if you could take on the world

nothing in life matters, except you

but sooner or later that feeling starts to fade

so you do everything in your power to keep yourself happy

you spend money you shouldn't spend

trying to find even a small piece of happiness

and then you crash

your low

you reached your low point

you don't feel anything

just numbness

you want to cry and scream at the world

but it only leaves you feeling lonely

it's how you feel most days

being utterly alone

with no one around

you sit in a dark room

alone with your thoughts

the coldness of your mind

sends shivers down your spine

your thoughts slowly become intrusive

deadly even

the darkness fills the air around

slowly seeping into the cold depths of the empty room

the cold kisses your skin

slowly sucking out your warmth

removing your only source of happiness

that triggers you

causing you to self-destruct.

the way you self-destruct after a bad day.

is the only way you can take your pain away.

it comes and goes in waves,

but never behaves.

you yell or cry

till your heart gives out.

or you bottle it up

until it swirls around your mind

day and night

waiting to be let free.

it often comes and goes without warning.

only to have you mourning

_____