Featuring Mrs. (Mel) Councillor of Idiots

Viktor: Here's some advice
Jayce: I didn't ask for any
Viktor: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

Viktor: God, give me patience.
Jayce: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Viktor: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

Viktor: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside
Jayce:
Jayce: Viktor, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...
Viktor: *Sips coffee from bowl*

Jayce: Mel and I don't use pet names.
Viktor: I see. Hey, what do bees make?
Jayce: Honey?
Mel: Yes, dear?
Jayce:
Viktor: Don't ever lie to my face again.

Jayce: WHAT'S YOUR TYPE
Viktor: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially
Jayce, desperately, as Viktor bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Viktor: Oh! B positive.
Jayce: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Viktor:

Viktor: Jayce... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Jayce: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Viktor:
Viktor: I wrote sanitize, Jayce.