! BAD GIRLS ! BAD GIRLS !

( a sex and the city fic )

WEDDING VENUE
new york, new york
2pm

i stood at the back of the church by myself, waiting for miranda to arrive. i looked around me, taking in the venue. of course, it was a traditional church with a long white carpet leading down the middle of the aisle. there were chairs set up for both sides and flowers decorating every single spot.

i adjusted the dress i was wearing, making sure it was sitting properly before i looked in the mirror and checked my hair. i was maid-of-honor in miranda's wedding, and i wanted to look my best for the beautiful bride.

as the beautiful music began to play, i took a breath and then started walking down the aisle, holding onto holden's bicep as he walked beside me.

charlotte walked down the isle alongside dakota, both wearing beautiful light lilac dresses. i looked over and noticed carrie and samantha walking together as well.

we all made our way to the alter, taking our spots as the music and our walking stopped.

once we reached the alter and took our respective spots, the guys each took their seats, leaving the stage open to miranda and her father to then come down the aisle.

i watched with a smile as the doors opened and miranda appeared, her arm looped through her fathers. she looked absolutely radiant in her wedding gown, walking slowly with her dad.

as she finally made her to the alter, i felt my eyes start to water a bit. watching my best friend marry the man of her dreams in the most stunning wedding gown was a beautiful, touching sight to witness.

once miranda became miranda hobbes leeds, we found ourselves at the wedding reception. seated with carrie, samantha, and charlotte i took a sip of my iced tea.

"samantha, you look so pretty today." charlotte complimented our friend.

samantha smiled, "thanks. i have cancer."

i nearly choked on my drink as samantha's casual announcement. my eyes widened as i set the glass down and looked at her. "excuse me?"

"what?" charlotte said, dumbfounded.

a waiter then walked over, "are you all okay with drinks?"

"no, we're not okay with drinks. keep them coming." carrie told the man who nodded.

silence fell over the table, as we all turned to look at samantha with shocked looks. "what do you mean, you have cancer?" i questioned her, my voice soft and worried.

"i found out just a couple of days ago, i have breast cancer." she informed us. "let's not say anything to miranda, i don't want to cloud her special day."

then the redhead walked over. "hey you!" i exclaimed.

"there she is!" charlotte said loudly.

"hi again!" carrie said.

"congratulations." samantha said with a wink.

caught off guard by all of talking over each other, miranda caught on that there was something going on. "why are you all being weird?" she questioned.

"we're not!" i dismissed before taking a sip of my tea.

"we're just talking." carrie added.

"about me, right?" miranda said. "you think i'm an asshole! that i've become one of them. that i'm a stepford bride."

"no!" charlotte and carrie said simultaneously.

miranda nodded, "then tell me what you're talking about."

"no, i'll tell you tomorrow. i'd hate to ruin your special day." samantha told her.

"forget about my special fucking day and be normal, please. i beg of you." miranda said, receiving crickets from the table before samantha said the news.

"i have breast cancer." she said.

"what?" miranda replied.

samantha let out a single chuckle, "see. now it's my special fucking day."

"you have breast cancer?" miranda said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"hey, no tears." samantha reminded miranda.

i could feel my eyes water, and i quickly looked down to grab a napkin to try and hide it. i dabbed at my eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling, but it was no use. i was crying.

miranda suddenly turned to me with a frown. "are you okay?" she asked me.

i met her eyes, and gave her a slight nod. "yeah i'm fine." i replied, but the wavering in my voice gave me away.

"no you're not." she said, her face falling even more. "you're crying."

"it's not everyday you find out that your best friend has cancer." i choked out.

carrie placed an arm on my shoulder. "i know, honey. but samantha's going to get through this, she's going to be okay." she tried to comfort me.

HOLDEN'S APARTMENT
new york, new york
6:15pm

i took a deep breath before knocking on holden's door. i could feel my heart racing in my chest. i knew i had to do this...i deserved to know the truth.

when it swung open, a cheerful holden appeared. "hey, how was the wedding?" he asked.

ignoring his question i blurted out, "i need to know if you actually love me or if you only said that you love me because i'm pregnant."

he paused, looking shocked by my question. "what?" he asked, seemingly thrown off guard.

"i just...i need to know the truth, holden. i need to know if you love me, or if the feelings you're having are just because of the baby." i told him, looking into his eyes.

holden's face softened when he saw the vulnerable look on my face. he opened the door wider to let me in before closing it behind me.

he took a couple steps towards me. "of course i really love you, jamie. being pregnant or not has nothing to do with my feelings towards you." he said, shaking his head.

i looked up at him. "really?" i questioned. "you're not just saying that?"

he took another step towards me so we were closer now. "jamie...i've loved you back in highschool when i first met you. i've loved you when i saw you again at your your place before i even knew you were pregnant. and i love you now." he admitted.

i felt my heart speed up even more as i took in his words. "you do?" i whispered, my voice cracking.

"yes, i do." he told me. "i love you, i've loved you for awhile, and i'll keep loving you. you and the baby." he assured me.

i took a step towards him until we were inches apart. "really?" i asked again, almost shyly. this time, he simply answered with a firm nod. "in that case, i love you too, holden andel."

my words were interrupted by his lips suddenly being placed on my stomach where our baby resided. i felt my heart start to beat faster than it ever had before. i reached down to grab hold of his hands which were resting on my stomach. he brought his gaze up to my own, his deep brown eyes meeting mine.

housekeeping notes !

gulp, we're approaching the end...