! BAD GIRLS ! BAD GIRLS !

( a sex and the city fic )

JAMIE'S BROWNSTONE HOME
new york, new york
5pm

i sat on the couch with jemma while dakota put on his shoes. "you can't seriously just go back to connecticut now!" i said.

he shook his head. "i have to sort things out with diana. i'll be back by midnight, tops."

i let out a frustrated sigh. i couldn't blame dakota for wanting to talk to diana. their marriage had been rocky for the last few years which is what led to them separating, but i had a date today. a serious one that i couldn't miss.

"i'll be back, jem." dakota said as he walked to the front door.

i quickly followed him and spoke quietly so jemma wouldn't hear, "i can't watch her, dakota. can she go with you?"

he turned and looked at me with an unimpressed expression. "jemma hates being with her mom. you think i should send her with me knowing they'll just fight?" he said in a hushed voice.

"you're right...it's just, i have an extremely serious commitment." i said.

he raised an eyebrow. "extremely serious commitment?" he said with a slight smirk. "why do i get the feeling you have a date?"

"whatever." i said as i pushed him out of the door. i started shutting the door but he shoved in his foot to keep it open. he stepped inside again and i groaned, "what?"

he smirked again, "give doctor wright my best."

i rolled my eyes. "oh shut up." i said, smacking his chest. "and get out of here."

he chuckled as he backed up towards the front door. "have fun on your date."

i stuck my tongue out at him before shutting the door. as i looked over, i noticed jemma leaning on the back of the sofa, her arms crossed. "i'm seventeen, i can take care of myself. go on your hot date i'll be okay."

i bit my lip and looked at her for a moment. she was right, she was almost an adult. i could trust her for a few hours. "don't call him hot." i said.

she grinned and flopped down on the sofa. "too late. so just go, don't worry about me." she said.

i was about to settle, but something felt off about leaving her unsupervised. "let me think on it." i said as i ran up the stairs heading to my bedroom.

i walked in to my bedroom and shut the door, leaning my head against it. there was part of me that wanted to stay and watch jem while dakota talked to diana. but another (the more persuasive) part of me wanted to go on my date with duncan. i needed it after seeing nathan yesterday. and god knows i needed to tell duncan about the kiss.

i grabbed my phone and dialed carrie's number. she picked up on the second ring. "hey...what's up?" she asked.

"i have a dilemma." i said into the phone.

"ooo a dilemma? those are always good." she said. "what's up?"

i leaned back against the wall and slid down until i was sitting on the floor. "so i was supposed to have the night off to go on a date with duncan." i started.

"and tell him about the kiss, i remember." she said.

"but dakota left me with jemma, and i can't see duncan with jemma and drop the bomb like that." i said. "can you watch her?"

she was silent for a moment. "me? watch your niece?" she questioned.

"yeah. please! i'll pay you." i said immediately.

she let out a sigh, "look, another day would be fine but i'm in the middle of this thing."

"oh yeah? so secretive." i joked. "what's the top secret thing?"

"um...look, i gotta go but ask charlotte, she loves people and kids and...babysitting. and i'm sure she'll do it if it involves dakota." carrie said.

i could tell that she was trying to get out of it and i couldn't help but wonder what thing she was up to but i didn't press it anymore. "fine." i said calmly. i was desperate, i really wanted to see duncan. i then dialed charlotte's number who answered almost immediately.

"hello?" her voice was cheerful as usual.

"hey...can i ask a huge favor?" i asked as i chewed on my bottom lip.

she chuckled. "you know i'd do anything for you, what's up?" i heard her moving around, probably straightening up her apartment.

"can you watch jemma for a few hours? i really want to see duncan tonight." i asked and then added, "please?"

she was silent for a moment and then laughed. "that's all? i thought you were gonna ask for a kidney or a liver or something."

i felt myself relax. "so you'll do it?" i pushed.

"of course." she said without hesitation. "i'll be there in thirty minutes."

i smiled and let out a sigh of relief. "you're a life saver. i'll pay you, however much you want." i told her.

i could practically see her waving me off through the phone. "money isn't a concern tonight, you just go have a great time."

i felt a smile grow on my face. "thank you, char." i said. "seriously, you're the best."

"no problem, jamie. i'll see you soon." she said before disconnecting the call.

5:30pm

i made my way down the stairs when i heard the doorbell ringing, i was wearing a white tight fitted top along with a grey maxi skirt paired with my brown stiletto heels.

i walked to the door and opened it. standing there was charlotte in a white summer dress with blue flowers, her hair up, her glasses in place.

"hey, thanks for coming." i said with a smile.

she stepped in and pulled me into a tight hug as she closed the door behind her. "don't mention it." she said before pulling back and giving me an apprising look. "you look stunning. there's no way he'd wanna end things with this!" she said before covering her mouth once the frightened look appeared on my face.

"can you not mention him ending things with me?" i said. "i'd rather not jinx it. i'm already nervous about tonight."

she apologized immediately with a wince. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to say that. i'm sure he won't. what is there to be nervous about?"

i groaned and moved towards the living room to grab my bag. "i really need to tell him about nathan and the kiss but i know it'll ruin the night...or us."

she gave me a sympathetic smile. "i'm sure you don't have anything to worry about. duncan is a great guy and from what you've told me and what i've seen...that man worships you."

i chuckled bitterly. "yeah...well i feel like a complete ass for even seeing nathan, let alone letting him kiss me. and now i have to tell duncan about it and hope he doesn't react badly."

she looped her arm through mine and started leading me towards the door. "it'll be fine, i promise. duncan understands things. and you are not a "complete ass." you're just a woman. one with an exceptionally weird ex."

i laughed at her comment and sighed. "it's good to know you're on my side." i said as we made it to the door. "jemma?" i called out.

jemma slowly made her way to the front door. her messy bun was half falling out and her makeup was a bit smudged, but that was to be expected. "yeah?"

"alright kid, i'll see you later tonight. you know charlotte...she'll be with you for the night. your dad said he'll be back by midnight and that's the latest." i informed her.

she nodded and pulled her phone out, which was glued to her hand. "okay." she said in a bored tone.

charlotte gave me a smile as if to say 'don't worry, we'll be fine.'

i let out a sigh then turned to jemma. "behave. please." i said.

jemma nodded. "i will." she said as she shoved her phone in her back pocket.

PETE'S TAVERN RESTAURANT
new york, new york
6pm

i walked the entire fifteen minutes to pete's, smoking a cigarette along the way as i ran through what i was going to say to duncan. i finally reached the restaurant and saw duncan waiting outside. i quickly put out my cigarette and popped an altoid into my mouth before walking up to him with a tentative smile. "hey."

he broke out into a smile when he saw me, the dimples that i loved so much making their appearance. "you look beautiful." he said while giving me a once over. he leaned in and kissed my cheek. "absolutely stunning."

i could feel my heart rate increase and my palms start to sweat. i plastered a smile on my face and wrapped my arms around his neck while he pulled me into a tight embrace. "flatterer." i said.

"i'm just being honest." he said as he placed a kiss on my forehead. when he pulled back, he smiled before pulling me into a deep kiss.

he pulled me tighter and kissed me, his tongue slipping into my mouth. but when he did, he suddenly pulled back and gave me a strange look. "did you smoke a cigarette on the way here?"

"what you didn't know i smoked?" i questioned.

he shook his head, a slight frown on his face. "don't you know how bad they are for you?" he said in a disapproving tone.

"i don't do it often...only when i'm stressed." i said without knowing i said it.

his eyes widened in surprise at the word 'stressed.' "stressed? what's stressing you?" he asked as he placed a hand on my arm and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"grades, i'm late on grading some stuff." i lied, i couldn't bring myself to say it yet.

he studied me for a moment before nodding, "that's understandable." he ran his thumb over my cheek affectionately. "but you know cigarettes can cause cancer, right?"

i rolled my eyes and forced a smile. "yes, you sound like my doctor." i replied, attempting to make a joke to lighten up the mood. which obviously wasn't working.

"forgetting that i am a doctor already, are we?" he said as he opened the restaurant's door for me.

i laughed and walked in. he quickly followed behind me, his hand on the small of my back. we were seated in the back, secluded from the other couples.

he took my hand and looked me firmly in the eye. "you would tell me if something was wrong...right?.." he asked.

my heart started to race again and i started mentally going through my lines. i could tell him now and get it over with. or wait til later, enjoy the night, risk him finding out and getting mad.

i squeezed his hand and smiled. "of course i would, honey."

he studied me for a moment like he didn't believe me. he then smiled and squeezed my hand back. "good. i hope you feel comfortable enough to talk to me if something's wrong."

the waiter suddenly showed up and duncan released my hand to grab the drink menu.

we ordered our drinks and then fell into our usual banter. i found myself laughing for the first time in what felt like forever. he was always so witty and clever, but also very sarcastic and cynical. but it was one of the reasons i liked him.

dinner was amazing, we shared appetizers, had our own entrees, and then split a desert. after dinner, duncan and i made our way to the movie theater. he let me choose the movie, so i picked the latest horror flick that came out and the rest was a blur of laughs, jumpscares, and snacks.

when the movie was over, duncan threw his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side.

"do you know what i'm craving?" i asked him.

he looked down at me curiously. "what are you craving?" he asked.

i grinned mischievously and said, "ice cream."

he chuckled and shook his head. "you and your sweet tooth. i swear." he said as he ruffled my hair.

"c'mon there's a good ice cream shop just up the street." i said as i pulled him along.

he chuckled and followed me, "lead the way." he said.

the ice cream shop was relatively empty when we arrived and i quickly chose my favorite flavor while duncan decided on his, salted carmen's. we got our ice cream and took a seat outside.

duncan was watching me intently as i took a bite, his eyes zeroed in on the tongue that caught a drop of ice cream dribbling down the cone. i licked my lips and chuckled upon seeing his hungry look. "see something you like?" i teased.

he smiled and pulled me onto his lap, "you're a messy eater." he said before wiping the corner of my mouth with his thumb. he then took that thumb and popped it into his mouth, his gaze never leaving mine.

"i am very messy when it comes to things i love." i said with a smirk. "like ice cream and you." i said, my hand coming up to rest on his cheek.

he chuckled and leaned his cheek into my hand before nipping at my thumb. "hmm, i feel very honored to be in the same category as ice cream."

i laughed. "you don't even know." i joked before leaning towards him to plant a kiss on his lips.  he smiled into the kiss and wrapped his arms around my waist. when i pulled back, i gave a suggestive grin, "but now i'm craving something sweeter."

his hands gripped my hips tighter and he smirked. "yeah?.." he asked, his voice deepened in desire.

i leaned in and pressed my lips against his ear. "much, much sweeter."

he abruptly got to his feet and grabbed my wrist. "let's go." he said before practically sprinting down the street.

i let out a laugh and had to jog to keep up with his long strides. "i'm wearing heels, mister!" i called out.

"well you should've thought about that before you said all of that in my ear." he retorted over his shoulder.

i couldn't help but laugh as i stumbled after him. "where are we going?"

"to my place. where else would we be going?" he asked while continuing to pull me along behind him.

when his block came into my view, i couldn't help but feel my heart flutter in anticipation. i started to slow down, causing him to stop and turn back to look at me.

i was panting slightly as i stopped directly in front of him. "slow down..." i huffed out a laugh, "i'm gonna fall over and break my neck in these heels."

his eyes took in my frazzled appearance and then he smirked before scooping me up into his arms. "not if i carry you."

i squealed and placed my arms around his neck for stability as he carried me down the sidewalk. "people might think you're kidnapping me." i said as i placed my chin on his shoulder.

"don't give me ideas now." he said while readjusting his grip.

i laughed loudly before burying my nose into his neck.

when we finally reached his apartment, he quickly fumbled for his keys before unlocking the door and throwing it open. he stepped inside, my body still cradled in his arms, before kicking the door shut behind us.

"welcome to my humble abode." he said as he placed me on his comfortable couch.

i looked around his apartment and smiled. "very neat for a bachelor pad."

he walked back over to me, placed a knee on the couch between my legs and leaned over me until his face was above mine. "i'm a neat freak. you should see my bedroom." he smirked.

my stomach did a somersault and i swallowed hard. "a neat freak, huh?" i asked, my hands coming up to rest of his shoulders.

he lowered his head until his lips grazed my neck, "when it comes to organization...yes."

his lips on my neck sent tingles through my body and i tilted my head to give him more access. "i'll take your word for it." i said breathlessly as his lips traveled up to my jaw.

he lowered himself down until his body was completely covering mine, his hips fitting perfectly between my legs. he began placing open mouthed kisses down the side of my neck, along my collarbone, and further down to the top of my chest. his hands began to wander underneath my shirt when i suddenly placed my hands on his shoulders and pushed him up.

he paused for a moment and looked down at me, "everything alright?"

i nodded and let out a shaky breath. "can we actually talk?"

his face fell slightly, "yeah, of course we can talk." he said while removing his hand from underneath my shirt and pushed himself off of me. he moved over to the opposite end of the couch and looked at me with a quizzical look. "you sure everything is ok?"

i sat up and looked down at my lap as my heart started to thump in my chest. "there's something i need to tell you...i should've told you a lot earlier." i said while wringing my hands together. "i'm just really scared of how you'll react when i tell you."

his features softened and he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "you can tell me anything. you know that." he said while he reached over to grab my hand.

i took a deep breath then raised my eyes to meet his. "you know how dakota has been looking for a house?" i said.

he nodded in response.

"well, i asked samantha for a good realtor and when we were looking at the apartment i found out it was my ex,  the one who cheated on me was the realtor...so obviously i removed myself from the situation." i said, suddenly very interested in the frayed edge of the couch cushion. "basically, i walked to meet the girls for lunch but he kept walking with me...and then he kissed me, which was very uncalled for." i said in a quiet voice.

he was silent for a moment, letting my words sink in, until he suddenly pulled back. his eyes widened in clear shock before they darkened in anger. "did you...kiss him back?" he asked in a low voice.

shame washed over me and i could feel my eyes welling up with tears. i looked down at my hands and nodded as i fidgeted with a loose thread on the hem of my shorts. "i did. briefly...but i stopped it. it was an accident...honest." i said while avoiding his gaze.

"an accident?!" he repeated in disbelief. "how exactly does that happen?" he hissed as he stood up and stalked towards the kitchen.

i could feel my heart drop out of my chest and tears started to stream down my face as i watched him grab a cup from the cabinet. he filled it with water and quickly chugged it then refilled it and drank it again.

i quickly walked into the kitchen, i tripped over rufus' tail because of how focused i was on duncan. "sorry, baby." i muttered to rufus before walking back to duncan. "dunc? i know it sounds so bad."

he slammed the cup down onto the counter and turned back to face me, "it doesn't sound 'bad' it sounds ridiculous. how can you kiss your ex, an ex that cheated on you by the way, and say it was an accident? i mean what the hell were you thinking?"

i flinched when the cup hit the counter and it didn't go unnoticed by duncan apparently as his face slightly softened. "i know, i know. but...i wasn't thinking. it was a reaction." i said while wiping tears away. "i never meant for it to happen. i swear. i have no clue why he even kissed me! i slapped him just before he did it...so he's deluded!"

he pinched the bridge of his nose and released a long sigh. "i don't know what you want me to say or do. of course it upsets me to know that you kissed your ex...it makes me wonder if you still have feelings for him or something. how the hell am i supposed to react?!" he said, his voice raising.

i started crying even harder at his words and held onto the nearest countertop for support. "i don't have feelings for him, i swear to you. i feel utterly nothing for him. nothing!!" i said through my tears.

duncan ran his fingers though his hair and exhaled a frustrated breath. "how do you expect me to believe that when you allowed him to kiss you?! you let him kiss you!"

"because he caught me off guard! i didn't expect him to kiss me at all!" i said, my voice raising as the conversation continued.

then the tears suddenly turned into anger, anger towards duncan for not letting me explain.

"off guard or not you still kissed him!!" duncan argued back. "you kissed him instead of pulling away and putting your foot down. and you had all night to tell me!"

my lower lip quivered and i quickly bit down on it. i walked over to the stool across from him and collapsed onto it. i was suddenly exhausted, from holding this secret in for so long, from the crying and the arguing.

i took a deep breath before speaking. "i was scared. i was afraid of this exact thing happening. of you being upset."

he stood and stared at me for a moment, his eyes narrowing. "of course i'm upset! i don't appreciate knowing that my...girlfriend kissed another guy. let alone her goddamn ex!" he said, finally calling me his girlfriend.

i flinched at his words and wrapped my arms around my stomach, trying desperately to hold myself together. "i know, i know it's bad...but it wasn't like i enjoyed it or something. i never would intentionally hurt you." i pleaded.

"but you did hurt me!" he shouted again. "i can't get the picture out of my head of you kissing some other guy. it makes me nauseous just thinking about it!" he said as he made his way into the living room.

i stayed put and waited for him to come back, and when he did he was holding my purse.

he walked up to me and shoved my purse into my hands. "you should probably get going..." he said as he placed his hands in his pockets and avoided eye contact.

"wait what? you want me to leave?" i questioned, my heart dropping into my stomach.

he finally looked up at me, his eyes filled with anger and disappointment. "yeah, i'm too mad right now to actually have a proper conversation with you. i need some space." he said, his jaw clenched tight.

my breath hitched in my throat and i felt myself start to crumble. "so that's it? you're just going to kick me out like that?" i said, my voice trembling with raw emotion.

he looked back down at his feet and let out a breath. "i'm not kicking you out, i'm just asking you to leave for now. we both need time to calm down and think. me especially." he said, his voice softening slightly.

tears were streaming down my face now and my heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces. i swallowed the lump in my throat as i spoke, "okay." i said quietly. "i'll go. but you're really hurting me right now, you know that?"

"i know. but in all honesty, you're hurting me right now, too." he muttered, his eyes finally looking into mine. "i just need some space right now. i need to think this through before i say something i regret."

duncan watched silently as i walked to the front door, rufus trailing behind me. he was probably pretending not to watch, but it was obvious he was.

i paused when i got to the front door, rufus standing close by my side. i bent down and placed my hand on top of his head. "you can't come with me, buddy." i said while trying to keep my voice from cracking.

rufus looked up at me and whined, his head tilting to the side as he clearly sensed that something was wrong.

with a broken heart, i straightened up. "be good. i'll see you soon, okay?" i said through my tears.

i paused my hand on the doorknob, my body trembling with barely suppressed tears. i wanted to turn around and go back to him, hold him and kiss him and tell him i was sorry. i wanted him to hold me while i cried and tell me everything would be alright. but he wouldn't. he was too angry and hurt.

so i sucked it up, turned the knob and walked out the door.

JAMIE'S BROWNSTONE HOME
new york, new york
11:10pm

i slowly climbed the steps to my front door, my mind still racing from the events of the night. as i walked up to my brownstone, i could hear laughter and muffled voices through the front door, letting me know that everyone was still very much awake.

i took a deep shaky breath as i gripped the doorknob and opened the door.

the girls were spread out in the living room, all dressed in their pajamas and the two had clearly done each others makeup. charlotte was on the floor between jemma's legs braiding her hair, and dakota was sprawled across the couch watching some football game on my television. they looked so happy and i hated that i'd ruin the mood.

they all looked up when they heard the door open, and jemma immediately noticed my puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. and immediately the smiles dropped from their faces. my shoulders were slumped and i was holding my arms in tight around my stomach, as if holding myself together.

jemma was the first to speak, her eyes widening as she took in my appearance. "...auntie...are you okay?" she asked tentatively.

i tried to give her a reassuring smile, but the tears just started up again, streaming down my face as i felt my heart break even more. i slowly shook my head as i attempted to speak. "no." i said in a very small voice, my heart was currently a shattered mess.

jemma immediately leapt up off of the floor and bounded over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. i collapsed into her embrace and openly wept as i clung to her. her head was nestled into the crook of my neck and her arms were squeezing me tight.

dakota and charlotte were both watching us with worried expressions. it wasn't often that i cried like this, i was more of a laughing crier. so to see me this upset was an oddity to them.

charlotte was the first to say something out of the two. "oh my god, what happened? are you okay?" she asked, her voice filled with concern.

between sobs i opened my mouth to speak, "duncan...he-" i broke off and covered my mouth with my hand, more tears streaming down my face. jemma continued to hold me, her hand rubbing my back in an attempt to soothe me.

"he didn't take the news so lightly?" charlotte said as she walked over to us.

i continued to bury my face into jemma's neck as i thought back to the events of the night. duncan's hurt and angry expression, the look of disappointment and heartbreak. his voice replayed over and over again in my head. his words, his tone, his anger. as more sobs broke through from my chest, i finally pulled my face away from jemma's neck and nodded.

charlotte wrapped her arm around my shoulders and gently pulled me away from jemma. "come on, lets get you upstairs." she said quietly. "and just so you know, it's his loss."

a/n

pughdts is gonna hate me for this...

how do we feel about this chapter? any ideas as to what carrie's 'thing' is? anyone peep dakota, jemma and charlotte sharing a cute family moment??

also new fic out! 'charm' a role model/tucker pillsbury fic out now!!