Chapter 22: needing to catch your breath

March 1977

A girl was sat at the edge of the Black lake watching the sunset. The girl, Annabelladonna Black had  her chin resting on her knees. Everything had been so chaotic in her life and she just needed some time along to remind herself that she could breathe. When her parents wrote her and threatened her brother it was as if her lungs stopped working. She had nightmares of either drowning or suffocating every night and sometimes it seemed like someone was trying to send her a sign. For Bella breathing got harder everyday. With constant reminders of the war, her parents,  her friends that she had to leave behind, her true family in France and the possibility of having to leave them, and the stress of getting decent grades, Bella just needed some time to not think. Or at least to not think of the real world.

Instead Bella thought of the giant squid, how did it get there? Could the Slytherin see the merfolk from their common room windows? She'd have to ask Regulus about that. She thought of the muggle world, they had more gizmos and gadgets than Belladonna could ever comprehend. Like the coffee machine. Asher's parents had one in their cafe, she still doesn't know how it works but my Merlin does she love it. She thought about muggle wars and how the wizarding war reminded her of one particularly brutal one.

After Bella briefly let her mind drift further into the war she reeled her thoughts back in, pulling them back to lighter, happier thoughts. Like the time when Ares dyed Gwaine's hair pink in his sleep, or the time Apollo released his pet snake in the girls dorms after they said some particularly nasty things about Bella. She wandered down memory lane until she heard footsteps approaching her. She shifted her gaze up and saw Sirius sitting down next to her.

"Hey sis."

"Hello Sirius." The girls voice was soft, delicate, she sounded how butterscotch candy tasted. You could tell by looking at her that she'd been crying. Bella was never good at hiding her emotions, it was always her eyes that gave her away. They could either be holding a violent hurricane wanting to escape, or a cold blue ocean, waves crashing against each other and tearing anything in its path down.

But when she was happy.

When she was happy her eyes looked as if they were just a reflection of the sky, a never ending light, the kind that you could just stare into for hours. The stars couldn't even begin to compete with the glisten in her eyes, it was breathtaking to anyone who had the courage to look.

"Something's been going on with you lately. You've barely smiled all week."

"I've been fine Sirius, there's really nothing to worry about."

"Bullshit, why don't you tell me what's really going on so we can fix it." The brunette girl just sighed, laying her head on her brothers shoulder.

"They want me home." Sirius just sat there for a second, with his mouth wide open. His parents loved her enough to ask for her back when they let him walk away with nothing.

No that wasn't right.

They didn't love her. They needed her, one of the black family's favorite pawns.

"You can't go back."

"I have to."

"Why, why the hell would you even consider going back there, you know what they'll do to you."

"I know what they'll do to Regulus if i don't. They're already leading him down a road of glass shards the least I can do is give him some shoes."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"We both know where he's gonna end up if mom and dad get what they want. He's gonna end up dead in a ditch with the dark mark on his arm. But if I go back. If I go back then I can protect him, make sure he doesn't get himself into too much trouble."

"He doesn't need your protection anymore Belladonna, he's not a kid."

"He's fifteen!"

"We were fifteen not too long along."

"Exactly. If we were in his position then we would want someone to help us, it's no different with Reg." Sirius just sighed, knowing he was never going to win the argument that they kept having.

"Okay. Let's not talk about this tonight, it's been a long day." It was quiet between them for a few minutes before Bella spoke up ridding the air of the awkward silence.

"Wanna do something stupid?" A small grin spread across Annabelladonna's face and an evil glint shone in her eyes.

"I'm always up for stupid." The boy easily matched her grin, the two looked more alike than ever as they sat together on the sand, looking like complete morons as they just smiled at each other.

"Do you think that the Black Lake is cold?"

"Freezing."

"Know any heating spells?"

"All of them."

"Wanna go get the boys?"

"Absolutely."

***

Annabelladonna and Sirius Black snuck back into the castle and soon enough they were returning outside followed by four boys. James was the first one in the water jumping in with a huge splash, making water hit his friends.

"You're dead Potter."

"What are you gonna do Black." James's question was answered as Bella jumped into the water, close enough to pull James down but not hitting him. The girl reached the surface, forcing the boys head underwater. Three more splashes were heard and soon Bella was grabbed by the waist, being dragged away from James.

"Let me go!"

"Sorry love, I can't do that."  Remus's spoke into the girls ear, his chin resting on her shoulder.

"Oh it's you. You can stay."

"Gross." Sirius said but you could tell by the smile on his face that he didn't mean it.

"I wish I had a girlfriend."  The boy looked down at the water with a small glare. He hated himself for being so shy. Sure he was rather outgoing when he was with people he already knew but add someone new into the equation and he'd be a stuttering mess. That's why the marauders were so good for him, they encouraged him to take risks, to have fun, they made him feel alive, which didn't seem to happen when he was away from them.

"Aww Petey, do you want me to introduce you to one of my friends? I know this one really nice ravenclaw she'd be perfect for you! Or Julia, she's the hufflepuff prefect, ooo or my friend Paige, she helps me with my homework a lot. She's a slytherin and she's fit as hell, like seriously if I wasn't with Remus I'd be all over her."

"That gives me confidence." Remus muttered sarcastically.

"Oh hush, you're cuter than her anyways, and you give me cuddles."

"I give you cuddles."

"Not the time Potter."

"It's okay Bells, thanks for the offer but I want to try and work up the courage myself first. I've been reading some books on how to boost your self confidence and I think they're starting to work."

"That's great Pete."

The teens spent another hour in the lake goofing around and having cannonball contests and water fights. It only ended when Sirius snuck under the water and pulled Annabelladonna by the ankle, for a second she thought her nightmares were coming true so she thrashed around, freeing herself from his grip. Remus's face fell, being the only one who knew about her nightmares. He took it upon himself to free her from her brother who just laughed it off, not seeing her, eyes closed, trying to catch her breath.

***

Both Remus and James's birthdays fell in March. Both of the men turning 17. Peter, Sirius, and Bella threw them a joint party which ended in all of the fifth years and up having hangovers. Minerva McGonagall always grew nervous in March, the boys were known for their extravagant birthday celebrations, and they never disappointed. This year was no exception. On Remus Lupin's birthday three boys and a girl were getting antsy at lunch, like they were waiting for something to happen. Remus just had his head on the table, waiting for something embarrassing to happen as his girlfriend rubbed his back. All of a sudden four howlers dropped onto the table and Remus just groaned as four voices screamed the happy birthday song at him before the red letters exploded.

"Thanks for that guys."

"There's more where that came from." Peter giggled.

And there was.

***

On James's birthday there were no heads on the tables, no groaning as his friends tried to embarrass him. He actually soaked it up, an extra bounce in his step. Everything about the day was perfect. When he asked McGonagall to Hogsmeade (which was a weekly occurrence) she just chuckled at him, an amused smile on her lips, and sent him out of her office with a biscuit and wishes of a happy birthday. At lunch he got the same Howlers but even worse because Remus was not a good singer, James just smiled and laughed. At dinner Bella and Sirius came in on roller skates and bright outfits, rolling around the Great Hall and singing along with Abba's "Dancing Queen" until they eventually got chased out of the Hall by their new D.A.D.A professor Ellen Umbridge (who had a nasty little daughter about a year or two below them). The nasty teacher tried to give them detention but Dumbledore saved the smirking twins from her evil clutches, and even asked them how they got a boom box to work in Hogwarts. When Sirius dragged Bella up to the Gryffindor common room (which was very hard to do in roller skates) they were both tackled by James.

A little advice, never tackle someone who's on roller skates, you will end up on the ground.

Peter and Remus were laughing in the background as Bella complained about how heavy James was and Sirius wailed into her shoulder about his little boy becoming a man. The girl just pushed herself up and skated over to Lily and the girls, quickly engaging in a conversation with them.

For a few days everything seemed fine, until it didn't.

Spring Break was coming up.

And Bella has decided to go back to the house of Black, her worry for her baby brother over shadowing any sliver of self preservation the girl might've had.

1863 words

A/N:     hey everyone! I'm writing this while I'm in class, Economics! whoo. How've you all been doing in quarantine (I personally dislike it but that's just because i miss seeing my friends. Other than that it's not too bad I guess)

A lot will be happening in the next few chapters and there will be a few time skips so I tried to make this chapter rather light and just showcase the relationships between Bella and the boys.

I hope you're all doing well, I'll see you next update

thank you so much for 1k reads, I actually freaked out when i saw it, this is so awesome.

-Katelyn