Samuel is awakened by his alarm clock, as he looks over at his clock to see that it is 5:30 am in the morning. He rubbed his eyes and sat up in his bed and stretched as he stood up.

The brown-haired male walked over to his wardrobe got into his running clothes, headed downstairs quietly, and headed outside, and went for his morning run.

After doing a half an hour's run, Sam returned to the Milburn house. He walked inside and headed upstairs to start to get ready for his first day back at Moordale.

After his shower, he wrapped his towel around his waist and started walking towards the door when he was met with a man standing there. "Oh! Sorry."

"Uh, who are you?" Sam furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at the man in front of him.

"Oh, I'm Dan. I'm uh—"

"Sleeping with my aunt?" Samuel says, looking at him.

"Correct." Dan chuckled as he looked at Sam. "And you are...?" He stepped closer to him as he held out his hand.

"I'm Sam." Samuel awkwardly shook his hand. "It was nice to meet you. The bathroom is yours," he gave him a small tipped smile before walking back to his room.

He closed the door behind him and walked over to his wardrobe and looked over the clothes he had. After deciding what he wants to wear he picks out a white t-shirt and a pair of black jeans, he starts to get dressed when he notices a picture of him and his ex-girlfriend, Maeve Wiley.

He looked away and got into his clothes before walking downstairs to see his cousin Otis in the kitchen. "Hey, you want some toast?" Otis questioned, looking up from the toaster.

"No. I'm good, thanks." Samuel smiled at him, before walking over to the fridge, before his aunt came down the stairs, and greeted the two teenagers.

Dan walked down the stairs, wearing a leather jacket and a helmet in his hands. "Uh,

"Coffee?" Jean offered, looking over at Dan who was heading towards the table.

"Yes please," Dan agrees eagerly, before turning to the two teenagers Dan turned to Samuel and Otis with a smile

"So Dan, how old are you?" Otis questioned, turning to face him, as Sam watched.

"How old am I — Uh, I'm 32." Dan smiled before taking a sip of his coffee, looking at the two teenagers in front of him.

"Are you having some kind of preemptive midlife crisis?" Sam questioned as he took a sip of his coffee before he heard his cousin Otis spitting out a small laugh.

"Boys..." Jean warned the two teenagers, while she was at the fridge.

"Mum, he rides a motorbike," Otis tells his mother.

"I'll take you both for a ride on it if you both like?" Dan offered to them both, which to their reply they both said declined.

"Do you have an Oedipal complex?" Otis asked, making Samuel look over at him with his eyebrows raised.

"As in, you mean do I wanna have sex with my mum?" Dan corrected him, making Jean look over at her son.

"Just ignore him, he's teasing you." Jean quipped as she looked down at her clipboard to see what clients she had for today before she continued, "It is perfectly normal for a younger man to be sexually attracted to a mature woman. In fact, when you stigmatise his choice, then you feed into an unhealthy narrative on masculinity in middle age." Jean lectured.

"That's why they say you should never date a shrink," Dan joked, as he shoved Otis lightly.

"Sex and relationship therapist, thank you very much."

A knock interrupted their conversation, Otis stood up and grabbed his plate, "That's us, let's go Sam." He turned and placed his plate into the sink. Sam quickly drank the rest of his coffee before getting to his feet and putting it in the sink before grabbing his backpack.

"Yeah, I should probably, uh, shoot off as well," Dan says, as he stands up and goes over to Jean then kisses her cheek. "Thanks for everything, Mum. Uh, Jean. Definitely Jean." Otis and Sam smiled over at her, before leaving the house.

☀︎︎𐬺⁂☆彡

Otis, Sam and Eric had arrived at Moordale, "Sam I can't believe how much you have changed since last term, you're literally like the next popular person in the school." Eric joked as they locked up their bikes.

Sam playfully rolled his eyes, as he walked beside Otis and Eric before he looked around for one specific person until he found her walking up to the school entrance. "Case in point, even Maeve Wiley's boobs got bigger, which I thought was technically impossible."

"Dude," Sam turned his head and gave him a look.

"Right. I forgot you and Maeve were together." the three teenagers began walking again, "Wait why did you both break up again?" Eric questioned, as he glanced over at Sam.

"I don't know, we just wanted other things.." Sam shrugged off. Eric and Otis both shared a look as they followed behind and headed inside the school.

☀︎︎𐬺⁂☆彡

Samuel went and got his timetable, and headed towards his lesson, as he looked down at his phone, before bumping into someone. "Are you a complete moron?"

Samuel instantly knew who it was when he looked up. "Maeve?" as he leaned down and grabbed her books.

Maeve looked at him, before snatching her books off him. "Don't touch my shit."

"Just trying to help," Sam told her, as they both looked at each other.

"Yeah, well please don't."

"Mae-" Sam tried to say until he was cut off by a voice approaching them.

"Guys! You're not supposed to run in the hallway." Samuel turned to see the new head boy, Jackson Marchetti.

"It was my fault, I wasn't paying attention," Sam says, looking at the boy in front of him and then at Maeve making her roll her eyes.

"Fuck off Sam," Maeve looked at him but avoided his gaze before Sam walked away from her, and headed towards his first class.

☀︎︎𐬺⁂☆彡

Sam walked into Miss Sands — English class walked over to the unaccompanied table, and sat down. "Settle down, class." Miss Sands told the class. Sam looked up to see Maeve approaching and rolled her eyes as she met his gaze before sitting beside him. "Settle down. Thank you."

Miss Sands clapped her hands together, "Ahh! We're jumping straight into the romantic world of the immortal Bard. Shakespeare, obviously. This year's first assignment will be 'As You Like It.' Set in the fictional forest of Arden." She explained before another student walked in, "Uh, nice of you to join us, Adam."

"Uh, you'll be doing presentations on Shakespeare's relationship with love and disguise." Sam looks over at his cousin who also looks at him, before Sam glances over at Maeve who lifts her middle finger to him. "The person you are sitting next to now will be your partner for the project. So if you just look at your sheets, you're gonna go through all the five points. I want you to talk in pairs. Please listen, right? Listening is key. So, um, the assignment brief, um...Examine the ways that Rosalind, uh, tests Orlando's love for her."

"Why are you sitting over here?" Maeve questioned in a hushed tone.

"Well if you take a look around Maeve you can see all of the seats that are taken," Sam looked up at her, "So unfortunately you have to put up with me, so your place or mine?"

"Yours," Maeve answered before looking down at her book.

"Alright, we'll study tonight," Sam told her.

"But what I'd like to do is, really, first, just mind map, mind map together—" Miss Sands continued to explain.

"Boring." Maeve suddenly says, making Sam look at her.

"What? Excuse me, this is boring?"

Maeve looked down at her book, as Sam leaned over to her, "So what time Wiley?" He asked.

Maeve rolled her eyes, "I'll be there for 7:30 pm."

☀︎︎𐬺⁂☆彡

Sam followed behind Eric and Otis, "You told Adam where you live?" Eric asked Otis as the two of them sat down on the ground.

Sam sat down beside them, "He asked me." Otis says, before placing a gummy in his mouth.

"Dude, your mum has a lot of weird shit in the house. I'm cool with it, obviously, but if the guy even sees a Kama Sutra, he will destroy both of your lives. Eric finished, pointing over to the boy in question.

"She won't be home," Otis told him.

"Oh. She better not be." Eric says, looking at Otis, "He still calls me Tromboner. It's been four years. Four years."

"I mean you did get an erection on the stage, in front of the entire school," Sam says, as he had his arms crossed.

"It was a semi!" Eric corrected him, before snatching the pack of haribos from Otis' hand. "The nickname doesn't even make sense. I play the French horn. Such a philistine."

"Look, he'll be in our house for an hour, tops. It will be fine." Otis tells them.

"Do you reckon his brain is so small 'cause his dick is so big?" Eric questioned.

"That's definitely a myth," Sam says as he takes some gummies from the pack before passing them back to Eric.

"Well, it's not. A friend of a friend saw it once. She said it was the size of two Coke cans. One on top of the other. Length and width." Eric told them.

"You don't have any friends. Except us." Otis says, looking at Eric.

"Not for long. Because Adam is going to kill you both in your own home." Eric shot back before looking at Samuel. "Who's your partner?"

"Uh...Maeve Wiley..." Sam says, as he takes a gummy from Otis.

"Maeve Wiley?!" Eric shouted, "Maeve Wiley as in your ex-girlfriend?!"

"A little bit louder for the squirrels up in the trees," Sam sarcastically said, as he nudged Eric.

"Sorry," Eric quickly said, "How did you get partnered with her?"

"By sitting next to her?" Sam answered.

"It's weird. Maeve is always mean and standoffish. She doesn't like sitting beside anyone." Otis chimed in, looking at his cousin and then at Eric.

"The only seat free was next to her, so I took it." Sam shrugged.

"So how are you gonna do the project?" Eric asked, placing more gummies into his mouth as he looked at Sam.

"After when Adam leaves. So at 7:30 pm."

☀︎︎𐬺⁂☆彡

Maeve didn't end up turning up at the Milburn residence, so Samuel spent the night doing the project. It was the next morning and Sam walked to his locker while Otis and Eric were talking about what happened at the Milburn residence after Jean was talking to Adam about his 'man milk'.

Sam and Otis walked to their science class, after leaving Eric to go to his, Sam looked over to see an empty seat next to his ex-girlfriend, before letting out a sigh and sitting beside her. "Great, it's you."

Sam rolled his eyes, and muttered under his breath, before taking off his jacket. "Also thanks for not showing up,"

Before Maeve could say anything "Okay, so..." Mr. Hendricks began, "what was gonna be biology is now an emergency SRE class." He announced as he wrote on the chalkboard before he turned back to the class. "Apparently, there's been an outbreak of public lice. Mr. Groff felt like you needed a refresher. Lucky me, huh? I'm joking, this is actually gonna be incredibly awkward. You'll be working in pairs, you'll need worksheets, two prophylactics, and a plastic cock and balls."

☀︎︎𐬺⁂☆彡

After a few minutes had passed, the two exes hadn't spoken a word to each other. Sam was ripping the wrapper of a condom pulled it out and pushed up the tip as he grabbed it. He could sense that Maeve was watching him, but he ignored it.

He grabbed the plastic penis in front of them, and placed the tip of the condom onto it, before Maeve grew impatient and reached forward, then rolled the condom down the shaft, then moved it away, then looked back down at the worksheet. "What's next?"

Sam watched as Maeve started to label the worksheet, "I'm gonna ask Miss Sands if we could work separately," He said, making Maeve look at him.

"Why?" Maeve questioned him.

"Well, you didn't show up," Sam says, as he glances away from her.

"I lost track of time," Maeve told him.

Sam watched as Maeve started to label the vagina, "Also that's not the hymen."

"I think I know where the hymen is, but thanks," Maeve said, sending her ex a look.

"Okay, well I mean, you're still wrong.." Sam told her as Maeve looked back at him.

Sam takes her pen and starts writing on the worksheet, "They are the paraurethral glands, also known as...the female prostate."

"Where's the Hymen, then?" Maeve questioned.

Sam raised his eyebrows in a teasing manner before writing down, "Right there." He said this as the two exes looked at each other.

A scream interrupted the two, as a student flung a condom at Mr. Hendricks as it bounced off his forehead, making the whole class erupt in laughter. "See me after."

All the phones started to buzz and ping, and the whole class started to laugh again, "What is it?" Sam asked, looking over at Maeve

"Nothing," Maeve says, as she places her phone onto the table.

One of the students got up from his seat, and went over to the television, as a video of Jean Milburn holding an aubergine in her hands, as she rubbed her hands on it, the laughter grew louder before he saw Otis stand up and quickly leave the class.

Sam quickly stands up, grabs his jacket and follows behind Otis, "Can you see if they're okay?" Mr. Hendricks says, looking over at Maeve.

☀︎︎𐬺⁂☆彡

"Otis take deep breaths okay," Sam told him, as he kneeled in front of him.

Otis nodded as he looked at his cousin before he took a hit of his Asthma puffer the two cousins noticed that another person had joined them, "do you want one?" Maeve was standing there, as she held a cigarette to her lips, as Otis shook his head before he took another puff from his inhaler. "Was that really your mum?"

Otis nodded, as he looked down at the ground. "Mm, could have been a lot worse. She could have been stroking an actual penis." Maeve says as Sam sends her a stern look.

"Maeve, that's not gonna make him feel any better," Sam says sternly, looking up at his ex-girlfriend.

"How do you know each other?" Maeve questioned.

"He's my cousin," Sam told her.

"Oh, God. Yeah, I just think I'm gonna die now." Otis interrupted the two exes.

"Don't worry about it. Speaking as a long-term member of the Moordale Social Pariah Club, you'll survive." Maeve told him, that before they heard someone yell out in pain in the distance, the three of them headed towards the noise, where they headed inside the abandoned toilets.

They heard whimpers and moans of pain coming from the end of the stall, as they all walked towards it, as they reached the door the cries were getting louder. Sam slowly opened the door as Maeve and Otis craned their necks, to see who it was and it was no other than Adam Groff.

The four all screamed in unison, as they scrambled away, Otis falling backwards in the opposite stall. "What the fuck," Sam says, as he walked back towards the stall where Adam was in, his green iris locked onto Adam's fifth limb protruding from Adam's pants, as Maeve walked beside Sam, as they both shared a look.

"Get out!" Adam shouted at them, as they backed away from the stall. "No! Wait. Don't go!" Adam panicked, as the three all shared a look and stepped forward again. "Help me?"

Otis scoffed and stepped forward, "I know it was you who sent that video around,"

"So?"

"So, clearly that means he isn't going to help you," Sam says, rolling his eyes, as he looks over at Adam.

"Please! Please, new kid, it feels like it's gonna explode, and not in a good way." Adam begged.

"Well, that's not my problem," Otis says, as he starts to walk away.

"No, wait!" Adam stopped him, as he stood up. "Please, don't go."

"Should we get the nurse?" Maeve questioned, as she turned to Samuel and Otis.

"No! No, you can't tell anyone." Adam told them.

"What if he dies or something?" Sam questioned, as he turned to see the panic in Adam's face.

"Dies?" Adam repeated as he looked at Sam.

"Adam...what did you take?" Otis stepped forward, as he spoke calmly.

"Viagra," Adam answered.

Sam raised his eyebrows, "How much Viagra?"

Adam stayed silent, as he looked down at his enlarged penis. "Hey, look, um...Think of this room as being four walls of trust. Anything you say is fine. There's no judgment." Otis reassured him.

"Three viagras," Adam replied.

"Jesus Christ." Maeve exhaled, as Sam stuffled out a laugh.

"You said there'd be no judgement. Is three Viagras bad? Their reaction made it seem like it was bad. I feel lightheaded and I can taste scampi." Adam panicked.

"No wonder. you could besiege a castle with that thing." Maeve remarked, looking down at Adam's penis.

"I said stop staring at it!" Adam yelled as he backed into the stall before he slammed the door.

"Sorry, it's like a third leg!" Maeve apologised as she turned to Sam and Otis again, "What now?"

"We wait."

☀︎︎𐬺⁂☆彡

It was around thirty minutes while they waited, "How's it going?" Sam questioned as he sat on the windowsill.

"Still large, still. . . angry," Adam answered.

"Where did you even get the Viagra from?" Maeve asked as she sat in the stall opposite Adam.

"None of your business," Adam answered quickly.

"Please don't tell me you got it from your dad," Maeve said.

"I didn't," Adam answered again.

"Well, why did you take it then?" Sam says, crossing his arms.

"I don't know. Heard it gives you a good buzz. You should try it inside of being a joy fucker."

"He's having dick problem," Maeve informed as she stood up and brushed past Sam to sit on the toilet seat.

"Yeah? What would you know, Wiley?" Adam spat out.

"Girls talk, clodpole." Maeve stood up, walking out of the stall, "Aimee said you can't come."

Adam remained silent for a few seconds before saying, "It's too much pressure. " Then, Maeve looked at Sam and Otis, who were looking back at her.

"What is?" Sam asked.

"Everyone knows I've got a giant penis," Adam replied.

"So you wanted to make it bigger?" Sam questioned.

"No. I just wanted it to get hard."

"Well, why do you think it couldn't?" Otis spoke up.

"I don't know. I can't stop thinkin' about stuff when we shagging. 'What if I'm not good at this? maybe I'm doing it wrong. maybe she knows I'm doing it wrong. what if my dad walks in? what if my dad walks in and it's right when I'm blowing my load and i can't stop, and he sees my jizz face? what if...'"

"Okay. We get it." Sam says as he leans against the stall beside Maeve.

"Okay. Well...Sounds to me like you're experiencing some performance anxiety. Perhaps the mythology surrounding the size of your penis doesn't help things. Interestingly, you mention your father. How does being the headmaster's son affect you." Otis says as he walks over to the other stall.

"Well, it's shit, obviously. Everyone's watching me all the time. Everyone's like, 'There goes Adam Groff, headmaster's son. he's got a big massive elephant's cock.' I've got feelings." Adam explained. "I guess that...I wish I could be a normal kid. With a normal dick. And a normal dad." He continued, as Sam and Maeve shared a look.

"I think.." Sam stepped forward, "that you need to own your narrative, not let it control you." He started to say before Otis stepped beside him.

"Yes, you have a large appendage. Yes, you're very visible in the school due to your father's position. But neither is likely to change. But your outlook can. Does that make sense?"

"Not really," Adam muttered.

"What he's trying to say is it doesn't matter what anyone in the school thinks. You are who you are. Don't let anyone take that from you." Sam said, looking over at Otis who nodded.

"So everyone's wrong, and I'm basically. . . awesome," Adam concluded.

Sam glanced over at Maeve as she smiled, "Be proud of your penis and your heritage. 'Cause neither are going anywhere. You should work with what you've got."

Adam appeared on top of the toilet, as he looked down at Sam and Otis. "It's going down, new kid." he slapped Otis' shoulder and nodded over at Sam. "Thank god." Sam turned to see Maeve give him a thumbs up, as she gave him a small tipped smile.

☀︎︎𐬺⁂☆彡

The five teenagers walked out of the abandoned toilets, "Uh, you won't tell anyone about this, will you?" Adam questioned, as he turned to look at the three. "You said that thing about the four walls of trust."

Otis shook his head, "We won't tell anyone. If you leave our friend Eric alone." Adam began walking but stopped and turned, "For good." the Milburn boy continued.

"Tromboner?"

"It's your choice." Sam shrugged, as he placed his hands into his jacket.

"Fine," Adam begrudgingly agreed, and turned to walk away again but was stopped.

"I think you Otis an apology," Maeve spoke up.

"Sorry for sending the video around, but your mum...but your mum, really got in my head, new kid." Adam touched his forehead before he continued. "She's like some kind of...sexy witch." He apologized before he turned back around and walked away.

"Well, that was unusual," Maeve stated bluntly before she turned her head towards Sam and Otis. "See you around, Otis." She says before she started to walk away but stopped. "Bye, Snowflake." She said as she locked eyes with Sam, and she gave him a hint of a smile on her lips before walking off in the opposite direction.

Sam and Otis shared a look before they both headed into the canteen to have their lunch with Eric, "Can I have everyone's attention, please?" Adam Groff says as he stands on the canteen tables, and everyone turns their attention to him. "I have something to say. My name is Adam Groff. Headmaster Groff is my dad. Which is weird, 'cause I'm quite shit at school," He moves his hands down to unbuckle his belt, "And this my dick." He proceeded as he unzipped his pants and pulled them down, revealing his penis. The whole cafeteria erupted into gasps and laughter, everyone pulling out their phones to take photos. "Yes, it is large. But I've done some googling. And it's actually just above average, in terms of worldwide adult statistics. So, yeah. That's me. And that's my dick." Adam finished, as the cafeteria started to clap.

Adam bent down and pulled his pants back up, before he jumped down and started to walk away, "We have to tell you something," Sam and Otis said in sync, as they both turned towards Eric.