Hello, Sans, my bubblegum! I swear you're just so you and I'm lucky to have met you almost a year back. I can't believe it's been that long. <3

Firstly before we get into the review, I would like to apologize for the delay in publishing this. I had finished reading your book quite some time back and I could only get to you know, why? because #medicalprofessionproblems , which I'm sure you understand. I actually enjoyed reading your work and felt that after a really long time it was a good book to pick. 

 Thank you for waiting patiently for the review and not giving up on me. I truly appreciate it.

I hope I can be fair to your work and give you a satisfactory review.

So this is for you, love ❤️

Tufts of hair sway

Demanding attention,

As it tickled against your bare skin.

A yawn disturbs the tranquil silence,

Like stray sunlight seeping through the curtain

In a dark room.

Nose scrunching,

While your swollen doe eyes 

Try to reach out to mine. 

From beneath your soft pillow,

Wait!

I saw a gun and is that a prescription?

A hand gently guides my chin

Back to those dark globes.

Stern yet innocent,

As if my soul was being sucked.

For your eyes never lie,

When all you tried to convey was that 

 You poured all your love into mine. 

- Mia©2021
Inspired by Your Eyes Never Lie by bubblewrap1009 

TITLE: 4.5/5

'Eyes Never Lie', when I read the title I was thinking, "oh, this sounds kinda cliche". I was expecting that I'm gonna be reading some sap and romance where the precedence of the suspense part of the drama would take the backseat. Why? Because honestly most other FFs that claim to be suspenseful aren't really so. 

As I kept reading your work, you broke my assumptions. Realized that the writing was quite mature and the romance did not overtake the suspense. Yet while I kept reading I was constantly thinking in what way was the title relevant to the story? 

This question, ladies and gentlemen, got answered when I came to the climax of the story. It amazed me. Because the significance of the title was not used in a mediocre way. The plot revolving around the story was so well constructed that it did not reveal the relevance of the title at a premature moment. It held the crux of the story so well together. Like a sudden revelation sprung up on me that you can't help but appreciate the author's well thought out work. Comparing and recognizing the look Jin was giving along with that of Jungkook's was brilliant. It was probably written about a maximum of a paragraph, but that paragraph made all the difference. 

BOOK COVER: 4.5/5

Honestly, I really like your cover. It's very appropriate and aesthetic. Now why would I claim such terms? Good question. Let's go over a few points..

Firstly, I'm a sucker for minimalistic templates, and yours poses as one. The text at every corner of the box gives ample information (including a small quote) and it still manages to look tidy. I like how you gave a 'censored' mention on the cover, so that people can proceed with caution due to the sensitivity of your work. Good job.

The picture you have chosen is a good choice because it screams dark to an extent that there's possible serious tension in the story and at the same time the violet hue gives off a slightly dreamy haze. Perfect combo. I personally think the choosing the color violet was a great idea, because once again, violet symbolizes imagination, dreams and time, which are strong key elements which run as subtle undertones to the whole fic. Violet also means abstraction that serve as blurred lines within the story. The line blurred between morals, rights and actions of people.

DESCRIPTION: 3/5

In a short fiction like yours and also the story-line, a short description would be highly effective, which you did use. But there is a scope of improvement. With your story-line, you could present a better narrative statement or an opener than the dialogue you've used. the dialogue comes off as too dry and also a little too direct. Lure and ease your reader near the rabbit hole before they can tip off and fall.

PLOT: 6/15

Given the length of this fiction and it's story-line, I find it very balanced. There were no drags nor did it feel too less.

What I'd mainly like to talk about is story in the first place. Your story rather than having a purely plot based narrative, centers more around the theme. The plot (which includes the rise in action, fall in action, climax and anti-climax) becomes a tool to serve this theme.

There are some sensitive themes such as rape/non-consensual sex, certain depictions of violence or abuse present in your story. Using these themes are not wrong, but what poses a problem is the way these themes are earthed or portrayed throughout your story. I don't know whether intentionally or unintentionally, or maybe it was just simply the way your sentences were structured, it seemed as if you slightly glorifying these themes. I'd suggest, to avoid using real people as characters in a story such as that (especially as perpetrators) because it gives off the wrong impression about them, which can lead to unnecessary trouble. Like I said, it could've come off that way unintentionally and you were just trying to say that such heinous acts do not end well. Anyhow, just check that out once, after all these are just opinions of mine, it does not in any way overrule anything else.

It's such a honest feat though how you could imbibe such emotions and make the reader move into your story with such tension and mystery of how the story is going to go down. I don't think I could've managed to pull that off! Well done.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: 7/15

Your characters went in with the flow of the story, which is a good thing. They followed through and developed in terms of action in your story, and also in the form of dialogues. Although, in a story such as yours, character's depth is a must, which I found to be lacking. The slight descriptions that you have added sound like fillers between different action scenes. Rather, give some background or explanations behind certain facts of the present or the past. Let there be a clear evolution of what has been and what will be.

When there are sensitive topics or themes in the story, it becomes pivotal for the characters to have a running mind of their own that shows the whole thought-chain process. Through actions, yes, we understand the desperation of Kook, but what thoughts led him there? Sure, Marilyn trusts him as a good friend at the start, but how does that turn into fear? The way you can involve the reader more is to provide a more wholesome picture of the same.

WRITING AND GRAMMAR: 6/15

The story starts calmly, turns a little exciting and then you're in a wormhole that leads you straight into a whirlwind. This sets a good pace and read for your short fiction.

When I read your story, I feel as though you have a lot to say but that's not being communicated as effectively. Your book doesn't lack clarity, it just the sentence structures and grammar you need to look into. That is not a worry, everyone of us, including me, sometimes make bad choices in sentence structuring (which I'm sure persists even in this review I'm writing). We can work on that which would help the reader to understand your characters better.

Always, always deal with language carefully when you're writing about sensitive topics. Any slight miscommunication can set of fire. Just proof-read along those lines when you've incorporated the above, and that should do the trick!

ENDING: 4/10

I think this story does bring out a lot of emotions. It definitely not for the light-hearts. With that caution in mind, I think it could be a good story that delivers a strong message.

OTHER DETAILS:

I think you'll also have to mention 'rape/non-consensual sex' and 'certain depictions of violence/abuse' in your description.

TOTAL SCORE: 35/70

Well done, Sana!

Good job.

I hope you're satisfied with my review. Any queries or objections, you can DM me.
Like I said, we can always agree to disagree as long as it's civil and constructive :3

Also, lemme guys know if you think I missed anything out, or if I need to add anything.