I stared at the door for a while, deep in thought, and realised that the pills were slowly starting to work, because I felt a little better again. Nevertheless, I was still sluggish and limp on my feet.

I stood up powerlessly and walked aimlessly through the apartment, taking a closer look at every nook and cranny. A little curious, I reached for the book Chishiya had read the day before and briefly read through the summary. The novel didn't sound bad, I had to admit. When I had put it aside, I walked around the bed and saw that he had hung his white hooded jacket with a hanger to dry in front of the window. My hand slid briefly over the smooth fabric.

Then my eyes fell on his bed with the hastily folded blanket. Before I had given it much thought, I carefully settled down on the mattress and buried my nose in his pillow. I was not disappointed. The tart but fresh smell reminded me a little of tea tree oil. His scent and the comfortable bed together felt like a paradise to my senses and the longer I lay there like that, the less I wanted to return to my hard futon mat on the floor. At some point, however, I raised my head in complete shock at myself. What the hell was I doing here anyway? Chishiya was right. I was an insane stalker. Only someone like that would sniff around their target's pillow in a complete daze, right? And the painkillers probably did the rest....

Shaking my head, I sat up again and with a heavy heart separated myself from the soft mattress. Then I painstakingly tried to bring the bed back to its original state and looked at the result indecisively. In my head I was already making up strange excuses like, "I stumbled and fell on your bed, Chishiya." The thought made me giggle incoherently.

After a few minutes of pointless wandering, I then decided to do something useful and take a shower while I still felt reasonably fit to do so. In the bathroom I found another dressing gown with a cherry blossom pattern, which I quickly put on after showering. I had wrapped my wet hair around my head in a turban. Breathing, however, was becoming more difficult every second. If only I had something to inhale. Panting, I propped myself up on the sink and wished for a moment that Chishiya was already back from his trip. As a future doctor, he would surely have some advice for me.

Weakly, I went to the kitchen and tried to rub my hair dry. I saw the dirty dishes in the sink and decided to at least wash them quickly to make myself useful. Afterwards, I was as exhausted as if I had just finished a deadly game of spades. So, infinitely drained, I let myself sink back onto my futon mat and soon fell into a deep doze.

A soft clang startled me out of sleep again. Then I heard someone put a key in the lock and turn it around. I straightened my upper body in a bit of a panic and frantically pulled my dressing gown tighter, under which I was currently wearing nothing but my underwear. The door opened and Chishiya entered the room.

"There you are again," I said with relief.

Chishiya, however, did not even look at me. He dropped his backpack rudely on the floor and staggered purposefully to his bed. Just before he did so, however, I saw his legs give way and he let himself sink back against the pillar. Realising that something was wrong, I immediately jumped up and rushed to him.

"Chishiya, what's wrong?", I cried almost hysterically and went down on my knees in front of him. His face was as white as a sheet and his gaze stared somewhat absently into space. Looking down at him, I noticed for the first time that he was pressing a piece of cloth tightly against his forearm. "What happened?", I asked again in an urgent voice when I saw that his rolled-up jacket sleeve was full of blood.

His diffuse gaze became more focused again and at last he seemed to take notice of me.

"Nothing. I'm fine," he pressed out strained. I couldn't believe what he was saying.

"Nothing?", I repeated indignantly. "Are you fucking serious?"

Chishiya at least managed to roll his eyes in annoyance.

"Don't be so dramatic. It's just a scratch. Just get me the first aid kit! It's in that cupboard over there."

I followed his gaze and sprinted over to get it. Fortunately, the big aluminium case was easy to find. When I got back to it, I opened it a little unsteadily.

"Tell me what to do!", I replied somewhat desperately and noticed how my voice quivered with excitement.

"Just leave me alone for a minute, will you? I'll handle it."

I stared at him in complete bewilderment as if he had lost his mind.

"I'm sure as hell not going to do that. I'm not a doctor, but I'm not completely stupid either, so would you have the goodness to tell me now what exactly happened?", I narrowed angrily. I noticed Chishiya's grip on his injured arm slowly loosening, allowing blood to leak freely from the wound, so instead I helped him press the piece of cloth further against his wound.

"It's a gunshot wound," he eventually brought out.

Shortly after, I noticed his head slumping to the side more and more as if he was increasingly losing consciousness, but still trying to fight it.

"Chishiya, please stay with me!", I pleaded helplessly. "Tell me what to do!"

I was completely overwhelmed and could hardly think straight.
But then a sudden flash of inspiration came to me. I rushed to my futon mat and grabbed the paracetamol and a water bottle. When I got back, I squeezed two out of the package with trembling hands. As Chishiya had again zoned out, I put a hand on his shoulder and shook him briefly. This seemed to bring him back to the present for a moment.

"Here," I said, holding the tablets out to him as I continued to press the cloth firmly against his arm. Without asking any questions, he took them and swallowed them along with the water. I rummaged a little frantically in the medicine case and quickly found what I was looking for. I had absolutely no idea what this black band was called, but I had seen in movies that it was used to stop the flow of blood. I loosened it and carefully lifted his injured arm a little and pushed it up to his upper arm. Then I closed it tightly with the Velcro.

"You have to... Twist it shut."

Chishiya's voice was now only a faint huff and for a moment I was stumped. I looked at my handiwork again, somewhat helplessly, but then it clicked. I quickly twisted the little pin on the ribbon a few times until Chishiya groaned painfully.

"That's enough."

"'Scuse me...", I said in trepidation. "What now?"

I looked at him seriously concerned but also expectant.

"The bullet has to come out."

I nodded overzealously.

"Okay, the bullet," I repeated like a mantra and nodded, even though I had no idea how to go about it. I tried to locate something like tweezers in the case and when I finally found one, I held it up determinedly.

"By the table...", Chishiya then began incoherently, but his last words were lost in a strained gasp.

"What's supposed to be there?", I asked, frowning.

"A-a...alcohol."

I glanced over and actually saw a bottle of vodka sitting next to the table.

"I take it that's not meant for drinking..."

"Well spotted."

I was amazed that he still managed to maintain his sarcastic undertone despite his situation. I picked up the bottle and then looked at him questioningly. But Chishiya seemed delirious again.

Carefully, I took the cloth from his wound, which was by now soaked in blood, and examined it for the first time. It was much smaller than I had assumed and now hardly bled at all. My pulse literally raced as I opened the bottle of vodka and carefully put a few drops on his injury. This time he groaned loudly.

"Damn. You could have warned me," he snapped at me.

"I don't know if that would have been better."

He didn't reply. But that was understandable. I took a deep breath and tipped some more vodka over my hands. The stench made me wrinkle my nose in disgust. Then I reached for his forearm again and placed it in a way that I had a good view of it.

"Light," Chishiya murmured indistinctly.

I paused for a moment.

"That's a good idea," I said, and went to the light switch, even though it was still as bright as day outside, but given what I was about to do, it probably couldn't be bright enough. My fingers began to tremble more again under the tension as I approached the wound with the tweezers. I didn't want to hurt him, but feared that under the circumstances it couldn't be avoided and that this was the only way I could help him. As the metal penetrated his skin, he gave a muffled gasp, as if he was convulsively trying to suppress the sounds of pain. Even badly wounded, he still managed to keep his composure to some extent. Quite in contrast to me. My breathing accelerated rapidly and this time I had the feeling that someone was squeezing my throat. I coughed into the crook of my arm, gasping for breath.

Meanwhile, Chishiya's forearm twitched uncontrollably back and forth. When my breathing had returned to normal, I grabbed it to keep it still. After all, it was enough that my hands were restless at what I was doing. I started a second attempt.

"Don't be so tender! You'll never get it out that way," he suddenly retorted sharply.

I was a little surprised that he was talking to me, because I had assumed he had long since lost consciousness. But his words sounded reasonably lucid again by now and I wondered if it was the pain pills doing their bit.

"Okay..."

I tried again, this time a little less considerately, which was admittedly really hard for me. At some point, I hit hard metal with the tweezers. That had to be it. I dug a little deeper into his flesh. It was almost impossible to block out his painful moans on the side. After a few more agonising minutes, I pulled it out and looked at it, completely fascinated. I couldn't believe that this tiny thing could do so much damage.

I placed the bullet on the bloodstained cloth, then looked at Chishiya, who was once again drifting on the edge of unconsciousness.

"It's out," I murmured to him. "What do you want me to do now?"

His eyelids fluttered open a little again and I guessed the answer before he gave it to me.

"Sew," he muttered absent-mindedly.

This was exactly what I had feared, because I was pretty sure this was the point at which I would surely fail. Still, I knew I had to try at least. I also found a special needle and thread for surgical purposes in the medical kit. Only the threading was difficult with my nervous fingers.

When I finally managed it, I disinfected the needle and then tried to imagine that it was just a simple fabric suture. I admittedly didn't know much about needlework, but a normal seam shouldn't be much of a challenge in theory. However, I was unsure if it was even possible in this case. I tried to remind myself again how important it was to get this right, because I knew that I could not live with the guilt of having Chishiya on my conscience.

Even the beginning was difficult, however, and I had to admit that the sight of the wound made me feel increasingly sick to my stomach.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry....," I muttered to myself as if possessed by the demon, while tears welled up in my eyes. At a certain point I tried to switch off my brain completely for a moment and just continue stitch by stitch and it actually helped.

After what felt like an eternity, I had somehow closed the wound and was still looking at my work completely dissolved when I was done. Beautiful was definitely different and if Chishiya didn't die from his injury, then certainly from the shocking sight of that stitch. Still, it was better than nothing. At least that's what I told myself and then took a gauze bandage from the aluminium case and tied it tightly around his arm to at least protect the wound from germs and other external influences. I breathed a sigh of relief when I had finished that too. Finally, I removed the black band from his upper arm, which obviously woke him briefly from his trance. A soft sigh escaped his lips, while I was relieved to get a small sign of life from him. However, I checked his pulse on his wrist again just to be sure, but I didn't notice anything unusual.

"You should lie down and rest now," I said softly and looked over to his bed, which was only a few metres away. Shortly after I said this, however, he slumped down on the floor on the spot. I gave a short sigh. If Chishiya couldn't make it to the bed, then the bed would have to come to him. I climbed onto the mattress and reached for his pillow and blanket. Then I carefully placed the blanket on his body and pushed the pillow a little under his head.

"Sleep well, Chishiya," I said, still in genuine concern. Then I put the first aid kit away again and disposed of the blood-soaked cloth with the bullet. I looked at Chishiya's lifeless figure with a thoughtful expression for quite a while. At the moment, his face looked completely peaceful, as if he was just taking a short nap. I fervently hoped that all my efforts would not be in vain and that he would recover quickly.
Since I had been here, I had had to face many challenges, but this one was by far the most difficult of all.

The only positive thing about it was that it had distracted me a little from my own suffering. Now I had to wait and pray...

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