"Would you mind taking a photo of me?" I asked the next day in the changing rooms just before starting work.

Nakamura, who had just pulled his shirt over his head, stared at me in disbelief.

"A photo? What for? Are you going to get an Instagram account?"

"Are you going to do it or not?" I growled without answering his question.

"Hmm, only when I know what it's for," he grinned conspiratorially.

I sighed and then pulled on my white coat.

"I promised to send her one."

Nakamura suddenly pricked up his ears.

"Her? You mean... that stalker girl? Did you give her your number?"

"Looks like it."

"HA, I knew you liked her. I knew it," he said triumphantly, while I just silently tied my hair up. "You're away for a day and the most incredible things happen. But apart from that, she's here every day anyway. She could actually take the photo herself."

"I told her it would be better if she stopped coming here."

This time he was so shocked that he froze in mid-motion.

"I don't think I understand anything now. You like her, but you're still sending her away?"

"Uchida summoned me to his office yesterday and said that someone had allegedly complained about her, but wouldn't reveal who it was. I assume it was one of the nurses."

"Definitely Rumiko. I wouldn't put it past her. She's had her eye on you from the start. It's clear that another woman would only get in her way. And everyone here knows she's a sneaky bitch."

I silently held out my mobile phone to Nakamura.

"Just do me a favour, please," I asked him, trying to be polite.

He grinned and reached for the phone.

"All right, but why don't you just take a selfie?"

"That's not really my cup of tea..."

"Okay, but do you really want to send her a photo of you in your work clothes?" he asked, looking at me a little sceptically.

"Doesn't it matter what I'm wearing?" I asked, shrugging my shoulders.

He snorted and shook his head.

"You really don't know anything about women, do you?" he said, shaking his head.

"What do you want me to do?"

"You could just take the clothes off completely. I'm sure she'd love that."

"I definitely won't," I objected gruffly and was about to snatch the mobile phone from him again.

"That's all right. Most women like uniforms. So this will have to do for now."

He lifted the mobile phone and looked at the display while I put my hands stiffly in my jacket pockets and tried to keep a neutral expression on my face.

"It looks more like you're modelling for some stuffy doctor's brochure."

A little annoyed, I crossed my arms in front of my chest and scowled at him.

Nakamura pressed the shutter several times and laughed.

"I think if she sees that, you'll intimidate her. That look brings opponents to their knees in a game of chess, but you certainly won't get a woman round."

"I'd prefer chess in any case."

He turned to me and showed me the photos he had taken.

"Would you like me to take some more? Then you could try looking a bit friendlier."

"No, this will have to do."

I took the mobile phone from his hand again and quickly sent it to Tsuki's number.

"Probably better. We're already too late. The boss will make us a head shorter."

On the way to the operating theatre, I quickly typed up a short text.

It was only after the two-hour operation that I found time to check my messages again to see what she had replied to.

I kept the message short because I didn't have much time. In fact, I would have liked to have had a picture of her too. Maybe that was the only reason I had offered to send her one of myself. In any case, it was much less conspicuous to ask her for one as well.

Only seconds later, a new message arrived with a photo. When I opened it, I frowned. It was a picture of a white cat with long fur, sitting in a box that was far too small.

I put the mobile phone back in my desk drawer and then went to the daily office meeting.

Every time I passed the bench that she usually occupied during my shift and found it empty, I felt a pang of disappointment. Although I had forbidden her to come, there was a tiny spark of hope that she would defy my words.

Her absence felt wrong and I realised that my thoughts kept drifting back to her throughout the day. I was particularly preoccupied with the question of whether she had brought me to the point of believing her strange story.

My mind still wanted to fight this possibility, but on the other hand there was also this strange familiarity in Tsuki's presence and all these weird déjà vu moments for which I had no logical explanation.

I couldn't deny that I liked Tsuki, but at the same time I didn't know how to deal with it, because I had never felt anything like this for a person before. For the first time, I wanted to spend time with someone else rather than alone with myself. According to her hints, we had obviously been lovers in this other world, which meant that we had not only exchanged feelings for each other, but also physical intimacy.

At first, I found the idea rather strange, but now I wouldn't even be averse to it.

Sex had never been very important to me before. When I was 17, I had my first time with my class teacher. She was 29 at the time, so quite young for a teacher, attractive and had a soft spot for teenage boys. And as I had always been an above-average student and fitted her mould, I quickly aroused her interest.

Under the guise of so-called special lessons for gifted students, she took advantage of my thirst for knowledge to get closer to me. And I, who was desperately looking for something that would touch me emotionally in some way, went along with it, even though I was aware that we were doing something forbidden.

However, as I had never really cared much about rules anyway, that was even more reason for me to respond to her advances. It came as it had to and we had consensual sex during private lessons, which eventually took place at her home. For me, it was nothing more than that at the time. Lessons.

She taught me how to touch a woman and bring her to orgasm. Sex with her was nothing more than a way to satisfy my curiosity and left me with a new experience to dissect. However, my hope that it would trigger or change something in me remained unfulfilled. Shortly afterwards, the whole thing was ticked off for me again. I withdrew from her lessons and she was angry with me for weeks and made me feel it in my daily lessons. Not long after that, she got involved with a fellow student and was caught. She was sacked without notice and disappeared from the scene.

Since then, I had never even attempted to get close to a woman again, neither emotionally nor physically. I had little interest in the physical aspect anyway and as far as the other aspect was concerned, I could hardly imagine letting anyone into my thoughts, which were often far too complex for mere mortals to understand anyway. I often didn't even understand them myself. What's more, not many people could cope with my brutal honesty and lack of empathy. For others, I was a sociopath. Not someone you wanted to hang out with. That was fine for me, as I preferred to spend my time alone anyway.

But then there was that incident in Shibuya and my subsequent cardiac arrest. I couldn't explain it, but something had changed since then. Of course, I hadn't become a lovable, altruistic fellow human being from one day to the next, but I had started to think more deeply about my life and what I wanted to do with it in the future.

I began to realise that I had pushed away all the people who had tried to help me in any way. Some deserved it, others not so much. I had hurt people regardless of their feelings and only because I was consumed by envy and my own arrogance. I always looked down on others and thought I was better than them. So after I was brought back to life, I had begun to wonder why someone like me was given a second chance while the truly righteous people had to give up their lives.

I realised that I didn't really deserve to live. For this reason, I had decided not to let the second chance I had been given pass by in vain.

My former self would probably have put Tsuki in her place immediately and made it clear to her what I thought of her ridiculous story. If I had met her just a few months earlier, I would have hated her for sure, because she embodied everything I had always wanted to be. But by now I had grown to the point where I could honestly admire her for this ability without feeling resentment. In fact, I probably admired her more than was good for me...

"Chishiya," a female voice whispered behind me. I didn't look up because this voice was already more than I wanted to take note of. "I have the lab results for your patient with the astrocytoma."

She handed me the piece of paper with the blood analysis.

"Thank you, Rumiko," I said and took it.

"You're welcome. We haven't worked side by side for a long time. That's a real shame. I heard you're leaving us soon to finish your studies."

"That's right."

"By the way, I'm celebrating my birthday at Yagen-Tei on Saturday. I happened to see that you have the day off. Would you like to come along? I'd be really pleased."

I found it difficult to remain calm in view of yesterday's events because, like Nakamura, I strongly suspected that she was the one who had complained to the head doctor about Tsuki's presence. Even the day before in the canteen, she hadn't taken her eyes off Tsuki for a second and had given her hateful looks.

"I'm about to get my licence to practise. Do you really think I have time for this?"

I asked with a disapproving expression.

Her face fell within seconds and I felt a small hint of satisfaction.

"Maybe another time?" she asked in a hopeful tone.

"I don't think so," I said curtly.

"If you change your mind. Here's my number."

She handed me a small piece of paper, which I barely glanced at.

"I don't remember asking for it."

Rumiko pressed her lips together indignantly.

"That's why no one can stand you, Chishiya. I was just trying to be nice and you're acting like an arrogant moron."

"I don't really care whether you can stand me or not. But you should rethink your definition of nice after your pathetic behaviour yesterday. You're only achieving the opposite of what you're obviously trying to do here."

I turned round and left her speechless, returning to my desk to take a short break. Hopefully the last two weeks would pass as quickly as possible, because I was sure that if I ran into this person again, I wouldn't be able to stay so calm.

When I reached for my smartphone in the drawer and saw that a message had arrived from Tsuki, my heart rate immediately shot up. I had saved her under the name "Stalker" and that's exactly what popped up on the display.

I opened the chat and read:

She had written this several hours ago. Shortly afterwards, she had sent a photo.

This time it really was one of herself.

She had put on her typical carefree smile and wore her curly hair loosely in two low pigtails. She was supporting her head with one hand and clutching a pencil at the same time. Apparently she was drawing again.

When I saw her photo, a pleasantly warm feeling spread through my chest and I automatically smiled. I looked at it more closely and noticed that her thumb and forefinger formed a finger heart when she held the pencil. It was hard to tell if it was just coincidence or intentional, but I preferred to believe the latter. (*the image was the closest the AI came up with)

Reluctantly, I closed the picture and went back into Messenger, but my fingers just hovered restlessly over the keyboard. I had no idea what to write to her. Just as I was about to start typing something, another message arrived from her.

I stared at her last words and felt momentarily guilty for the situation. But I knew it was better for everyone involved if she didn't turn up here again...for many reasons. I still couldn't quite understand why I wanted to see her again. Where did this desire to spend time with her come from? Where did the desire to see her again and talk to her whenever possible come from?

I had long believed that people who fell in love with someone were insane idiots who blindly lusted after their object of desire and now I was one of them. The irony of that could no longer be surpassed. But I felt completely powerless in the face of this feeling and I still didn't know whether I should give in to it or refuse. After all, I had more important things to concentrate on now and didn't need any unnecessary distractions.

Even though I was already well prepared for the exams, I wanted to spend the time until then studying and going through the literature list again in detail. Even someone like me didn't just shake a medical degree programme off the cuff. There was a lot that I had already learnt in the seven years of study, but there was a lot more that I still had to learn and I wasn't afraid to acquire all this knowledge. I had always been ambitious when it came to that. It was the only thing I was really good at. Learning. Soaking up knowledge. Applying knowledge.

My intelligence was the only useful thing I could contribute to this society. And it was the only purpose in my life so far. To be good at what I did. To become a good doctor. But was it even possible to be a good doctor without humanity and without the will to help others? Our head doctor had all the necessary expertise and was a competent surgeon, but I had never heard any patient say a good word about him. He did his job, but people's fates didn't interest him.

Was I just like him?

Was I just out to be good and nothing else?

The mobile phone in my hand buzzed briefly and broke through my thoughts.

I shook my head in disbelief and typed:

I stared at her last sentence and could hear my heart hammering loud and clear in my chest. It was mocking me for sure, because for the first time I was at a loss for words.

She was right. I did like her.

And that still confused me so much that I would have preferred to deny it to the outside world. I didn't reply to her last message and so I carried a guilty conscience around with me for the next few hours. I should have said something, but I didn't know excactly what.

"Dude, how could you keep this from me," Nakamura huffed less than ten minutes later when I went down to eat.

"Do I need to know what you're talking about?" I asked absent-mindedly.

"I'm talking about the fact that you and the little girl were here for dinner yesterday. You could have told me about that," he said reproachfully.

"I must have forgotten," I mumbled and looked for a free seat with my tray while Nakamura followed me closely.

"And how did it go? Go on, tell me. I want to know everything," he urged.

"We talked about various things."

"Oh really? And about what exactly?"

"This and that."

Nakamura rolled his eyes.

"Okay, you don't want to tell me. Did you at least ask her out on a date?"

"No."

"And why not?"

"Because I have final exams coming up and I need to focus on them. I really don't have the nerve for something like dating right now."

Nakamura looked at me incredulously.

"Are you serious? Especially you, who can recite all this shit flawlessly just from watching it once. As if you need to learn anything."

"I'm only so good because I spend my free time reading medical literature while others are out having fun."

"Jeez, you really need a girlfriend. Your life sounds so bleak. I wouldn't even be surprised if you're still a virgin."

I smiled slyly.

"Don't worry. I got through all that early on."

"You always manage to surprise me, Chishiya."

"The whole thing is overrated by society anyway."

"But even a genius like you has to let off steam sometimes," he said with an ambiguous grin. "If you know what I mean."

"Right, except I don't need a girlfriend for that. A hand is enough. More effective and you've got less problems."

Nakamura snorted.

"Honestly, I don't quite know whether to admire or pity you. But above all, I feel sorry for the girl. That she fell for someone like you, of all people. What a shame. I could have given her everything she so desperately wants."

"As if you know what she wants," I replied brusquely.

"And you know?" I fell silent and shoved some food into my mouth instead. "I think she just wants you to show her how much you like her. It can't be that hard, can it?"

I wish it was. But obviously that was exactly what I wasn't capable of. Because it was something I had never learnt. And unfortunately, it wasn't something you could just pick up from a book.

When I finally got off work, I looked at my smartphone again and didn't know whether I was disappointed or relieved that she hadn't written again. Maybe she felt offended. I couldn't even blame her. Sometimes I was still the same as I used to be. Someone who always managed to trample on other people's feelings. I had at least resolved to respect hers. I took the lift up to the car park where I had parked my car and took a quick look up at the starry night sky. Even the glowing full moon reminded me of her. (*Tsuki = jap. moon)

Sighing, I pulled out the car key, opened the car with the remote control and walked around the vehicle.

Motionless, I paused and looked down at the floor, where a familiar figure was crouching and leaning against the driver's door. They had a pencil in their hand and a drawing pad on their lap.

Tsuki.

She raised her arm briefly in greeting, a sheepish smile on her lips.

"Hey!"

"What are you doing here?" I asked, still perplexed.

This time she had really caught me off guard.

"I was waiting for you. You told me not to come to you at work anymore, but I thought this might not count," she mumbled, blushing.

I groaned a little.

"You're insane. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Tsuki just shrugged her shoulders.

"Maybe that's me. But I just wanted to see you. And you didn't answer back, so I thought maybe you were mad at me."

I crossed my arms, frowning.

"Why would I be?"

"I don't know. Are you?"

"I've just been busy. That's all."

She looked a little relieved.

"Okay."

"So you came all this way to wait for me and now I'm sure you expect me to take you home again. Isn't that right?"

She grinned bashfully.

"Well, I certainly hoped so."

"All right, but you should at least step aside so I can get in the car."

She nodded and reached for her walking frame to pull herself up, but I quickly realised she was having trouble with it. I silently held my hand out to her. She looked up at me with wide eyes, completely surprised by the offer. But then she smiled and grabbed it while I helped pull her back up.

"Thank you," she murmured, without letting go of my hand.

My heart skipped a beat. Tsuki looked at me meaningfully and took a small step towards me. Then she let go of my hand, only to wrap her arms around me. She pressed herself firmly against my upper body and rested her head on my chest, right where my heart was beating painfully. I was sure that even she realised that it was unusually fast for a resting pulse. Her warmth and smell felt familiar, her arms around me reminded me of our first embrace outside the courthouse...

I closed my eyes briefly.

Wait a minute.

Courthouse?

Where did this thought suddenly come from?

"Chishiya?"

Tsuki's eyes looked up at me questioningly and I recognised genuine concern in them for a moment.

"Get in the car so we can get going," I replied tonelessly.

She lowered her eyes and looked visibly dejected. Then she pulled away from me.

"I actually thought we could go for a little walk together."

"A walk?" I asked as if she had lost her mind. "It's almost midnight."

"I understand if you don't feel like it. You must be tired. It was probably a stupid idea of mine..."

In fact, I was anything but tired at the moment. Rather, I was overwhelmed. From these memories. Of her closeness. Of my feelings. But it was also hard for me to refuse her a request.

"Why not?" I finally sighed in surrender.

Her face suddenly brightened. I put my bag in the car.

"Surely you don't need the things for this?" I asked, pointing to her bag where she had stowed the drawing pad.

She shook her head and then handed me her things to put them in the car as well.

Okay, Nakamura, you wanted me to show her that I liked her. Why should this be so difficult? Nightly romantic walks certainly weren't wrong to start with.

"Can you even walk that far yet?"

"A few steps are okay. I'm just still quite slow, but it's got a lot better."

"When will your plaster cast come off? Have you had an x-ray yet?"

"Yes, it's healed well. I'll finally have it off in 11 days. But unfortunately I have to go back to work then."

"No more time for stalking, huh?" I asked with an amused undertone.

"At least it will be more difficult, but that doesn't mean you'll get away from me."

She looked at me with amusement.

"Okay, I've been warned," I said calmly.

We took the lift down. As expected, the streets were almost deserted, but Tsuki seemed to have already taken a direction.

"Where exactly are we going?" I asked, putting my hands in my trouser pockets.

"No idea," she claimed.

"It just seems like you have a specific destination."

She just smiled without elaborating.

"We could have driven there," I said.

"It's not that far."

"So you have a destination. I knew it."

She giggled.

"I guess I can't keep anything from you."

"I can read people like books. It's pretty easy when you know what to look for."

"Maybe you should have been a detective then."

"I would have, but I don't like smoking. Too unhealthy."

"Or a psychologist?"

"Aren't they all crazy themselves?"

"Okay, so do you think you made the right decision to study medicine?" she asked curiously.

I thought about it for a moment.

"I don't know, but now I can't imagine doing anything else. Maybe it's the only thing I'm really good at. But apart from that, you know the reason why I chose it."

"Well, maybe the reason has changed in the meantime. Maybe you're doing it now because you want to help others."

"I think you overestimate me."

"I think you underestimate yourself. I've also got to know another side of you."

"Which I obviously don't remember."

"Which doesn't mean it didn't happen."

I sighed.

"We don't know if it really happened."

"So you still don't believe me?" she asked with a defiant expression, stopping to look at me.

"I didn't say that. But you have to admit that it's hard to believe something like that."

"I actually thought you'd believe me by now. Do you still think I'm crazy?"

I chuckled.

"Well, you are crazy. In more ways than one. But if that put me off, then I probably wouldn't be here."

Her lips twisted into a faint smile, so I'd obviously said something right.

"We're there," she said.

We were standing on the banks of the Sumida River, looking out at the illuminated skyline of Tsukishima, a kind of man-made island in the middle of a bay that was often called Moon Island.

"You wanted to go here?" I asked, frowning.

"My parents met there back then. I think that's why they called me Tsuki."

"Okay, that's certainly an interesting story, but you could have told me that without us going here."

"That wasn't the reason. The reason is this hotel across the street."

She pointed to a large building between the tower blocks.

"Seaside Paradise?"

She nodded.

"Okay, and what about that? Is that where you were conceived?"

She looked over at me, rolling her eyes.

"No, we were there when we were in Borderland together. Only it had a different name then."

I looked again at the hotel on the other side of the river and rummaged in my memory for something useful. But no matter how long I thought about it, I couldn't come up with anything.

"I'm sorry, I don't remember."

She sighed softly.

"That's all right. It was worth a try."

I didn't answer, but looked thoughtfully over to the other shore for a while. Then I looked back at Tsuki, who was still staring spellbound at the building, as if a film was playing in her mind's eye that only she could see. I would have liked to know what she was thinking about, whether she perhaps remembered something we had experienced there together.

The wind gently brushed through her hair and I had to admit that she looked exceptionally pretty at that moment.

She licked her lips and then looked up at me when she realised I was watching her.

"What is it?" she asked, embarrassed.

"Nothing, I'm just looking at you."

"Okay, why?"

"I guess because... it makes me happy."

She looked at me in silence, obviously finding it hard to believe that I had said that. I was a little surprised at myself.

Tsuki took a hesitant step towards me and then raised her hand to my face. Her fingers gently stroked my cheek while I closed my eyes to take in every second of it.

The next moment, I felt her lips on mine. A little surprised, I paused in my movement, but when Tsuki began to nuzzle her lips against mine, I returned her kiss a little cautiously.

Reluctant because, on the one hand, it had been a long time since I had kissed anyone and, on the other, because it was the first kiss that really meant something to me. I put my arms around her waist and pulled her a little closer to me.

At that moment, I realised that this wasn't our first kiss. Images flickered in my head again, but this time with much clearer sensory impressions. I remembered a playground. We were both high up on a climbing frame, trying to get to safety from something. Tsuki had sprained her ankle. She had to jump to get back down and I had caught her. And then she had seized the moment and kissed me. The taste of her lips made the scene come alive before my eyes and this time I was sure it wasn't just my imagination, but a real memory.

When she almost reluctantly pulled away from me, she looked at me again, speechless. The only thing I could hear was my pulsating heartbeat, which echoed throughout my body.

"Even if you don't remember. This is enough for me," she said with a warm smile.

My arms were still holding her tightly and I pressed her against me to place a kiss on her forehead. Her skin was ice cold.

"Let's go back to the car, Tsuki. You're freezing."

"Then just keep holding me," she murmured against my neck.

I did as she asked.

The pieces in my head were still scattered-but holding her like this, they almost felt like they were starting to fit.

Sorry I took that long with the new chapter but I struggled with the messenger pictures. It was so many and it was more work than I thought it would be.