When my eyelids opened the next morning and my gaze slowly cleared, I looked straight into Chishiya's watchful eyes. A subtle smile played around his lips. That was exactly the moment when I remembered what had happened between us last night.

My cheeks immediately began to glow warmly again and the exciting tingling inside me returned. Just looking at his angelic face was enough to make me weak again. I still found it hard to realize that a man like him was waking up in bed next to me. And then.... naked. Even though his blanket was currently covering most of his body, I couldn't help but notice that he still wasn't wearing any clothes. Just as little as I was, by the way.

"Have you finished staring now?" he asked, amused.

I giggled a little embarrassed.

"No."

"Would you rather I gave you back my ID card to paw at?"

This time his smile became a little more cynical, while I felt a little caught out. I guess it was hard to hide anything from him. I pulled an offended face.

"Tss. And how long were you watching me before I woke up?" I countered.

"Well, that....hm. That was just a few..." He smiled slyly. "hours."

I grinned broadly.

"Oh, well then. Which one of us is the stalker now, huh?"

"Definitely you. Otherwise you wouldn't be here in my bed right now."

"Well, it's been a lot of work to earn this place here."

"Ah, now I understand. You only seduced me because you wanted a place on the mattress. Why didn't you say so in the first place?"

I put on a charming smile and straightened up a little to lean over him a little.

"Damn, now you've seen through my plan."

Then I impatiently placed my lips on his. Chishiya involuntarily pulled me a little closer to him. My hands gently touched his neck and then slid longingly over his chest. I pushed his blanket down a little to let my hands wander further down to his hips. But Chishiya soon grabbed my wrist to stop me.

"What are you up to now?" he whispered against my ear.

I pushed my lower lip forward a little and looked at him pleadingly.

"Just a little ... you know ..."

His lips twisted into a mocking grin.

"No, what?" he asked teasingly.

"Just making out a little..." I mumbled, twirling a strand of hair in embarrassment.

Chishiya raised an eyebrow in mock astonishment.

"Making out?"

"Don't act so surprised or did you think I was just going to lie next to you celibate?"

"If I'd known you were so keen on it, I would have reconsidered."

I gave him a light slap on the forehead.

"Stop teasing me, or you can find someone else."

He laughed softly.

"You wouldn't leave."

"Oh yes, I would. I've done it before, after all," I reminded him.

"But you came back again. You always come back to me. You're so infatuated with me," he teased me and gently stroked a curl behind my ear.

I rolled my eyes.

"Oh come on, stop glorifying yourself. You're not that great after all."

Which was a blatant lie, of course, but I he didn’t need to know that.

"Ouch, now that really hurts.”

"Good."

"Okay, you win." He devotedly flipped back his covers and then pulled me onto his naked body. "Let's make out a little," he said, far more conciliatory and gave me a hot intimate kiss while our bodies were pressed close together.

Chishiya's hands wandered down my back and ran eagerly over my bottom. Then he pressed my legs firmly against his hips. I straightened my upper body a little and reached for his hard erection to massage it thoroughly. Meanwhile, I enjoyed the unique sight of Chishiya's eyelids fluttering open and closed with excitement and a few beads of sweat running gracefully from his forehead. His lips were slightly parted and a faint sigh escaped him as my grip tightened a little. I deliberately made him come and visibly enjoyed the exhausted look on his face as I then rested my head on his chest.

"Why do I get the impression you enjoyed that more than I did?"

I grinned mischievously.

"I don't know what you mean."

"I wouldn't have pegged you as so devious."

"Are you disappointed now?" I asked innocently.

"Not at all. More like surprised."

I smiled softly and rested my ear exactly where his heart beat strongly in his chest. Then I paused for a moment before speaking again.

"Tell me... what exactly happened in your last game?" I asked cautiously, absentmindedly tracing my fingers over his chest.

An abrupt silence fell between us. The only sound was his steady heartbeat. Eventually, I lifted my head, puzzled.

"Chishiya?"

He looked at me and sighed.

"It's... complicated."

"Right. Care to elaborate?"

"The task was about determining the value of a life. The game was designed so that every player had an equal and fair chance of winning. But..."

"But?" I pressed when he didn’t continue.

"The King of Diamonds and I: we were the last ones left in the game. I gave him the chance to kill me, but instead... he chose to sacrifice himself. For his ideals, as he put it."

I lifted my head a bit higher, staring at him in disbelief.

"Wait, you wanted him to kill you? Why?"

Chishiya sighed again, sounding slightly more exasperated.

"Because I wanted to know what he would choose. He believed the value of a life couldn't be measured. And he was right. I wanted to give him a fair choice. He could have ended it, but he chose his own death instead."

I shook my head, unable to believe what he was saying.

"How could you do something so reckless? Did you even think for a second how I would feel about this?" I asked, visibly upset, tears of anger welling in my eyes.

"Tsuki..."

He reached out for me, but I instinctively pulled away.

"Of course you didn't think about it. Because you only think about yourself. You think your life is so terrible, but you don't even see how good you have it compared to others. And in doing so, you hurt the people who really trust you, without even considering their feelings."

Distraught, I scrambled to gather my clothes from the bed. Chishiya seemed mildly surprised by the intensity of my reaction but said nothing. With my clothes in hand, I disappeared into the bathroom, locking the door behind me, then sank weakly against it.

Why did it hurt so much that his own life seemed to mean so little to him, that he was willing to throw it away so easily? And for what, exactly? Just to prove something to himself?

The thought of Chishiya being dead right now, because of his own choice, made me swallow hard. Shaken, I pulled on a thin robe and debated whether I should go back to him. Maybe my reaction had been exaggerated. After all, everything had turned out fine. But I still felt hurt, realizing that I wasn’t as important to him as I had believed.

When there was a knock at the door, I didn’t answer at first.

"Tsuki, come out. Please!" Chishiya's voice called through the door. "Let’s talk about this, okay?"

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I didn’t want to fight with Chishiya. We’d done that too often already. On the other hand, I often couldn’t understand his stubborn behavior, no matter how much I tried.

After a while, I unlocked the door and opened it hesitantly. Keeping my gaze down, I stood in front of him. Chishiya had gotten dressed in the meantime and silently wrapped his arms around me.

"Do you really think a hug makes everything okay?" I asked sharply.

"No. But I thought it was appropriate for the situation."

"Tell me why you did it," I said, looking him in the eyes again as Chishiya calmly placed his hands on my shoulders.

"Tsuki, when I was in that game, I thought we’d never see each other again. I sent you away because I already knew by then that you had feelings for me. I thought it would only hurt you if you stayed with me. Because, let’s be honest, being in a relationship in this world isn’t the smartest decision. We both know that. During the game, I thought it might be better to just end it all. But even though I made the decision to let you go, I still hoped deep down that I might see you again someday. At that moment, I was so unsure that I’d rather let someone else decide my fate than face it myself. I wanted to know if I deserved to live."

For a moment, I was speechless at his confession, unsure how to respond.

"Okay..." was all I managed.

"You don’t have to forgive me, Tsuki. I admit that I acted selfishly in that moment. But I’m trying to get better."

"How did you know?" I finally asked. Chishiya frowned. "I mean, that I’m in love with you."

He let out a short, amused laugh.

"That wasn’t exactly hard to notice. Apart from your hair in my bed, there were countless clues. Like my ID under your pillow. Then there was the time you gave me penicillin even though you needed it yourself. Hell, you didn’t even leave when I acted like a thoughtless jerk. And then there was..."

He trailed off, staring into the distance.

"There was what?"

His gaze returned to me.

"Right after the massacre outside our door, you had nightmares. Do you remember?"

I nodded silently.

"You kept calling my name in panic, and you sounded so desperate. That moved me somehow."

Had I really called out Chishiya’s name? I remembered crying heavily but not much else. I did recall how concerned he’d been that night, and in hindsight, it made sense now.

"I wasn’t aware of that."

"That’s when I realized I was more to you than just a harmless crush."

"I guess I’ve let you into my heart more than is good for me," I admitted quietly and leaned back into his chest.

"I know. And I’ll try not to hurt you anymore. You’ve become more important to me than I am to myself."

His thumb brushed my cheek, wiping away a tear from the corner of my eye.

"Are you just saying that to calm me down?" I asked skeptically.

He chuckled softly.

"Partly."

"I knew it."

"I’m going to make us some breakfast now. You can go take a shower in the meantime."

I pouted a little.

"Aren’t you coming with me?"

"To shower?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I nodded eagerly, staring at him intently.

"Would we even shower?"

I smiled slyly.

"Among other things..."

Chishiya’s hand slowly slid the smooth fabric of my robe off my shoulder, and he pressed a few soft kisses against my skin.

I had to admit that having sex with Chishiya really did take my mind off things a little and at least the negative thoughts could be effectively suppressed for a while, although they didn't disappear completely.

That same evening, Chishiya went outside with me to the front door to check the current situation. Only three airships were left in the sky. One look at Chishiya's face was enough to guess what that meant for us. Perhaps this was our last night together, and then this world would collapse like a house of cards.

I tried to stay strong in front of Chishiya, even though he already knew how much it weighed on me. Our dinner was mostly silent. Each of us seemed preoccupied with our own thoughts. This time, Chishiya didn’t seem eager to take on one last game—not like before. But we both knew there weren’t many alternatives.

At night, we lay close together in bed, Chishiya’s arms wrapped tightly around me from behind. Even there, we barely spoke. When sudden noise and loud explosions came from outside, we knew the next airship had been destroyed.

“Which one do you think it was this time?” I whispered into the darkness.

“Hmm... probably the King of Hearts. It was the closest to us. But we’ll find out tomorrow. We should try to get some sleep until then.”

I nodded and squeezed his hand a little tighter. Then I tried to focus my thoughts solely on Chishiya rather than the possibility of losing him. I concentrated on the good memories: our first conversation in the prison, our trip to the hospital and shopping mall, our first kiss at the playground, our first night together. And this very moment, where he held me so lovingly, making me feel safe. I promised myself to treasure these memories forever, no matter what happened—to never let them go until my last breath.

“The King of Spades and the Queen of Hearts are the only face cards left,” Chishiya informed me over breakfast the next morning.

My heart sank like a stone, and I paused for a long moment.

“I see... and what’s your plan now?” I asked, listlessly poking at my rice.

Even if I had been hungry, I couldn’t have eaten a bite.

“Both airships are currently hovering over Shibuya. I saw some players heading there.”

“So you want us to go there too?”

Chishiya hesitated, his expression unusually serious, immediately making me suspicious.

“Not us. Me. You’re staying here.”

I stared at him in disbelief, then shook my head vigorously.

“Do you really think I’ll just stay here while you could die?” I asked, my voice trembling. “I won’t let you go off to your death alone.”

“Tsuki, you can barely walk properly with your foot. How do you expect to win a game? You’d just be an unnecessary burden. Please, be reasonable. Just this once,” he said calmly.

When I looked up at him, I thought I saw a slight gloss in his eyes. Still, Chishiya seemed composed enough to hold back any tears in front of me.

It was his sorrowful gaze that affected me the most, sending chills down my spine. I placed my bowl on the table and lowered my head, unable to endure his strained expression any longer.

“I’ll leave soon,” he said, setting his bowl aside as well. Then he began clearing the table in silence while I sat frozen, battling my own pain.

I knew he was right, but every part of me resisted accepting it as the final truth.

Suddenly, his shadow fell across me, and I looked up. Chishiya was holding out a pack of sesame mochi.

“Eat something. You barely touched breakfast,” he said, his tone almost scolding.

“No thanks. I’m really not hungry right now.”

With a sigh, Chishiya placed the box on the table.

“What can I do to make you feel better?”

I looked up at him, serious.

“Don’t die.”

Chishiya smiled.

“Alright, if that’s all. I’ll do my best.”

“If you do, then…” I trailed off as a quiet sob escaped me.

Chishiya furrowed his brow.

“Then what? Am I no longer your main character?” he asked in mock horror, pulling a tissue from his pocket and handing it to me.

I took it, dabbing at my tears and blowing my nose.

“…then I don’t want to go on living either,” I finished softly.

“Stop saying nonsense. You can live a good life without me. You managed before you met me, and you’ll manage again. Remember that—you’re not dependent on me. Got it?”

His firm words made me sob harder, though I knew he was right. But at that moment, I didn’t want to accept it.

“Tsuki, give me a reason to admire your strength and optimism again. That’s what always impressed me most about you. But now, you seem like someone who’s lost hope in themselves. Where’s the Tsuki who never gave up? Is she still in there somewhere?”

He raised a finger, tapping it lightly against my forehead. My gloomy expression quickly turned defiant.

“Stop making fun of me.”

“What else am I supposed to do with a sad little mess like you, hm?” he asked, pulling me into his arms and placing a kiss on my forehead. Then he held me close in a comforting embrace.

“Can’t I come with you?” I asked softly, though I already knew the answer.

“It’s really better if you stay here.”

“Okay…” I murmured, already planning ways to secretly follow him without being noticed.

“Don’t worry so much.”

I nodded silently, letting him hold me for a while longer. Eventually, he sighed audibly.

“I really need to go now.”

He released me and stood up as I looked at him desperately. My gaze shifted to his backpack.

“Aren’t you taking anything with you?” I asked, standing up as well.

“Not this time. Either we get all the face cards, or we don’t. Whatever happens, I won’t need these things anymore.”

“And your weapon?” I asked.

Chishiya chuckled. “It’s just a starter pistol. At best, it might injure someone up close. But it won’t do much against the King of Spades.”

“I see…” I murmured, resigned.

“Maybe I’ll find something more useful on the way,” he said with a shrug.

He looked at me for an unusually long moment, and we fell into an uneasy silence.

“So, this is it then,” I said after a while.

“This is it.”

I forced a smile, remembering we’d had this conversation before.

“Promise me one thing, Tsuki.” I looked at him questioningly. “Swear you won’t follow me this time.” I bit my lip, avoiding his gaze. How could he know I’d been planning it? “I know exactly what’s going on in that little stalker brain of yours. Don’t even think about it.”

“Tch… as if…”

Even my muttered response sounded unconvincing.

Chishiya stepped closer, leaning down until his breath brushed my face.

“Just stay here and don’t do anything reckless.”

Then he closed the gap between us, kissing me more deeply and longingly than ever before, his arms holding me tightly. I savored his kiss, knowing it might be our last. The looming loss was almost tangible on my lips.

Chishiya was the one to pull away first. If it had been up to me, we’d have stood there kissing for the rest of the day, if only it meant he wouldn’t leave.

He pulled something from his pocket and hung it around my neck. I grasped it and looked up at him, surprised. It was his medical ID badge.

“So you won’t forget me,” he said with an amused smile.

“As if I ever could, Chishiya.”

“See you in next life.”

His hand gently ruffled my hair before he turned to the door, unlocking it.

“Chishiya!” He looked back at me one last time. “Thank you for everything.”

He smiled softly and, with a final wave, stepped outside and closed the door behind him. Then I collapsed.