As we rode the elevator up this time, the atmosphere was somehow even more awkward than the first time. I was desperately trying not to think of any romantic elevator scenarios, but my brain seemed to have a mind of its own. To keep it under control, I stared fixedly at the floor, avoiding eye contact with Chishiya as much as possible. He, as usual, leaned casually against the wall with his arms crossed. When the elevator finally came to a stop and the doors opened, Chishiya glanced indifferently at the exit but made no move to leave. Confused, I looked at him without stepping out either. Then he pressed the button for the ground floor again.

I blinked in surprise.

"Did you forget something?" I asked hesitantly. 

Chishiya looked up at me, his gaze piercing, before pushing off from the wall and stepping right in front of me.

"Yes," he replied, cupping my face and pulling it gently towards to press his lips to mine. 

For a moment, I froze, my mind going blank. Then, with trembling hands, I reached for his face, running my fingers through his light hair and touching the back of his neck, savoring his long-overdue affection with closed eyes. His kiss was less passionate than the bizarre scenario I’d imagined, but far more tender than I ever expected from him.

Our tongues gradually found each other, weaving together carefully, while he placed one hand almost hesitantly around my waist. The elevator chimed as the doors opened again, but Chishiya didn’t stop. Unfazed, he continued our kiss. For a fleeting moment, I was tempted to slip my hand under his shirt, but I held back, unsure how far he was ready to go with me. When we finally pulled apart, it was hard to contain my joy.

“Why don’t elevators have a repeat button?”, I asked with an embarrassed smile, my arms still around his neck.

Chishiya’s mouth twitched in amusement.

"I suspect it would lose its appeal if there were one. As I see it, the thrill comes from the chance of getting caught. A repeat button would ruin that effect."

I snorted and rolled my eyes.

"You like to take my questions literally, don’t you?"

Chishiya just gave a mysterious smile and slipped from my embrace to press the button for the top floor. My heart was still pounding when we reached the top for the second time.

Back in the apartment, Chishiya set our bags together by the bed.

"The bottom two drawers in the dresser are empty, in case you want somewhere to put your things," he said casually, pouring himself a glass of water in the kitchen while I buzzed with excitement. As clichéd as it sounded, the fact that he offered me space in his dresser felt almost like he was offering me space in his heart.

Chishiya leaned against the kitchen counter, watching with clear amusement as I eagerly stored my belongings, childlike in my enthusiasm.

Shortly after, I grabbed Chishiya’s backpack and placed it on the counter, ready to unpack the supplies. But as soon as he realized what I was doing, he practically snatched the pack of udon noodles from my hands.

"I’ll handle this," he said curtly.

Pouting, I clutched the bag tighter as he tried to pull it away from me.

"I just want to see what you got! What’s the big deal?" I asked, shocked at his reaction.

"Ever heard of privacy?"

I chuckled and looked at him incredulously.

"Privacy? Come on. What could be private about groceries?"

Chishiya sighed quietly, then leaned against the counter in silence, watching as I continued rifling through the items he’d picked up.

"Oh, sesame mochi! My favorite," I gushed, hugging the pack to my chest.

Chishiya’s unreadable expression remained icy. Reaching into the bag again, I pulled out a small black box. My heart skipped as I read the label. Slowly, I looked over at Chishiya, who was watching me with a neutral expression.

"I know what you’re thinking, but I got them so you could keep your bandage dry in the shower," he said. "I read in a magazine that wearing one over the foot can help."

I stared at him for a few seconds in disbelief, then burst out laughing. Tears came to my eyes as I clutched the counter for support.

"So, you bought condoms… so I can cover my foot in the shower?"

I dissolved into laughter again, my whole body shaking. Chishiya glared at me, clearly unamused.

"Believe what you want. I just didn’t want to keep changing your bandage every day because of your carelessness," he replied scornfully.

It was difficult to compose myself, but seeing how obviously annoyed he was, I tried to keep it together.

"Are you serious?" I asked, barely containing my laughter as I eyed the box. "Strawberry-flavored, no less. And the size… let’s see-...”

Chishiya snatched the box from my hand before I could finish reading.

"Hey!" I protested, trying to get it back. But Chishiya quickly shoved it into his jacket pocket.

"You know what? It was a dumb idea. Just forget it," he muttered, brushing past me to put the condoms in the top drawer of the dresser. A pang of guilt flared up inside me for laughing at his suggestion. Still, anyone in my position would’ve reacted the same way. Did Chishiya honestly think I’d believe his ridiculous story? Honestly, my first thought was that he’d got them because he wanted to be intimate with me. The fact that he was now vehemently denying it disappointed me more than I’d like to admit.

Chishiya silently started putting the groceries away, and I watched him, feeling a bit remorseful. But shouldn’t I be the one feeling hurt here?

"Chishiya?" I asked softly as the awkward silence stretched on. Without looking up, he continued preparing lunch. Had I really hurt him that much?

"Chishiya," I repeated more insistently, reaching out to touch his arm and stop him. "Please!"

He looked at me with irritation, shaking off my hand.

"What do you want?", he snapped.

"I just want you to be honest with me."

Chishiya sighed, pausing to look at me coldly.

"Why? So you can make fun of me again? No need, thanks."

"Why would I? I just find it sad that you have to make up excuses because you’re clearly uncomfortable admitting that you want to sleep with me."

Chishiya was silent. He exhaled softly and looked away, his face tense.

"Fine, if that’s what you want to hear. I got them because I want to sleep with you. Happy?" he grumbled reluctantly.

I smiled, leaning into his shoulder and clinging to his arm.

"Perfectly happy," I murmured. "Was it really so hard to tell me that?"

"That’s not the point, Tsuki."

I looked up at him, puzzled.

"Then what is?"

"The point is, now you’re going to expect it from me at any moment. But that’s just not how I work. Just give me a little more time, okay?"

I smiled gently, stroking his arm.

"You really think I’d pressure you? Me, of all people?"

He met my gaze.

"That’s not what I meant."

"I admit I’d love to do that with you, but only when you’re ready. If, for whatever reason, that takes a while, so be it. You don’t have to justify it to me," I said, leaning back against his shoulder. 

I heard him breathe a quiet sigh of relief.

"Thanks…"

"Let’s not fight anymore, okay?" I said, looking up at him intently. 

To my surprise, Chishiya leaned down and planted a soft kiss on my lips. I closed my eyes in contentment, though the moment ended all too quickly.

"Now let me finish up here," he said, turning back to the stove to remove the udon noodles.

"Can I help?" I asked hopefully.

He handed me a knife.

"You can peel the onions."

I pouted a bit, disappointed that it wasn’t exactly the task I’d hoped for, but I wasn’t about to complain. I had asked, after all. Still, it felt like payback as he smirked, watching me fight back tears.

That evening, I sat on the bed with my sketchbook, reflecting on my webtoon, especially after Kota had been so taken with Chishiya’s character. Maybe I should just focus on him and his experiences. But that would inevitably mean including myself, something I’d never intended. When I thought about it, I felt like a minor character in my own story. Yet, with Chishiya by my side, everything seemed a bit more bearable. 

Without any particular plan, I began to draw, sketching a jungle gym with Chishiya carrying me on his back as we fled the King of Spades. Then, us hiding in the wooden house until the gunfire stopped. Chishiya examining my foot, telling me it was sprained. Him catching me when I jumped, holding me tight. Then, our kiss. I smiled, lost in the memory as I tried to capture it perfectly in my drawing.

I looked up in surprise when Chishiya emerged from the bathroom. He sat down on the bed, and I instinctively pressed the sketchbook to my chest with a nervous smile. Chishiya gave me a suspicious look.

"What are you hiding?" he asked, leaning close as I nervously pulled back, holding the book tighter.

"Nothing."

"Nothing? I see… May I remind you that earlier, you went through my things without asking, even though I said it was private?"

I shot him a dark look.

"What are you trying to do here? Make me feel guilty?"

"Is it working?"

"Not at all. This isn’t even finished."

"So that means, once it’s done, you’ll show me what you’ve drawn?"

I tilted my head thoughtfully.

"Maybe."

Chishiya scooted a little closer to me, raising his hand to my face.

"Fine, then I guess I’ll just have to wait a bit longer."

He brushed my bangs aside, gently tucking a loose strand away as he gazed deep into my eyes. His fingers brushed over my cheek, making it instantly warm under his touch. Slowly, his face moved closer. I closed my eyes in anticipation, barely able to withstand the tension. His cool breath brushed my face, and I parted my lips, ready for him. But suddenly, my sketchbook was yanked from my hands, and I flinched. In a flash, Chishiya was on the other side of the bed, holding his prize.

"Hey, that’s unfair!" I protested, trying in vain to reclaim my sketchbook as Chishiya grinned smugly. 

Embarrassed, I looked down and nervously fiddled with my hair as he examined my drawing in detail. A slight smirk crossed his face.

"You’re really a hopeless romantic. But I have to admit, it’s not half bad."

He handed me back the sketchbook, and I kept pouting.

"You tricked me."

"Couldn’t resist. You looked so enchanted."

He placed a hand on my head, ruffling my bangs. I pushed my lower lip out even further, glaring at him.

"You broke my heart and actually enjoyed it."

He leaned back on his pillow, crossing his arms behind his head.

"Don’t make a scene over this. It was just a bit of fun."

"Try telling that to my heart," I said dramatically, clutching my chest.

"Trust me, hearts don’t break that easily. And I know what I’m talking about…"

"Oh? And what’s that supposed to mean?"

Forgetting my irritation, I set my sketchbook aside and lay down on my stomach beside him, watching him intently.

Chishiya looked up at the ceiling, lost in thought.

"I’ve probably hurt a lot of people in my life. But so far, I never really cared."

"And now?" I asked, intrigued.

Chishiya glanced at me briefly.

"Hard to say, but I think… I care a little more."

I smiled.

"I bet you’ve broken a fair few hearts, haven’t you?" I asked with a grin.

"Hmm, I can’t deny that. I guess I was just never really interested in getting attached to anyone. I’ve always been on my own. It’s all I know."

"I get it," I murmured, feeling a bit sad.

"Most of the time, I was a selfish jerk who only cared about himself. You would’ve probably hated me."

"Oh, I’m sure you’re exaggerating. You can’t have been that bad."

"No, I probably was worse, Tsuki. But recently, I’ve realized I don’t want to be that way anymore. Life is too valuable to throw away. I want to know, at least once, what it’s like to be someone that others might look up to."

"You mean, like you are to Kota?" I asked gently.

"Yeah, something like that."

"I loved how you talked to him. I didn’t think you had it in you."

"Neither did I."

Gently, I wrapped my arm around him, smiling up at him encouragingly.

"I think there’s a warm heart in you, Chishiya. You’ve just lost faith in yourself for a long time. But it’s not impossible to find it again. I’m sure you’re on the right path."

Chishiya turned his head slowly, his gaze holding mine for a long, intense moment. Then, he wrapped his arm around my neck, pulling me down to him. His kiss was unexpectedly tender, leaving a soft tingling on my lips and a warm feeling in my stomach.

With a smile, I pulled back and looked at him a little sheepishly.

"I think I might’ve broken one of your rules."

Chishiya raised an eyebrow, prompting me to continue.

"You know… you told me not to fall for you," I mumbled quietly.

Chishiya chuckled softly and gently pressed my head to his chest. He ran his fingers through my hair as I closed my eyes, feeling entirely at ease.