The next two days went by relatively unspectacular. I had finally managed to cough up all the phlegm in my bronchial tubes. And Chishiya's wound also seemed to be healing slowly. I changed his bandage every day in an exemplary manner and used the zinc ointment to speed up the healing process.

In the meantime, we had come to terms with each other relatively well and I regretted a little that it couldn't just be like this forever. Living with Chishiya wasn't always easy, but I still enjoyed being around him. He could be a pleasant conversation partner when he wanted to. And the more time we spent together, the more often we talked about more profound topics than we had at the beginning.

The game in prison seemed like an eternity ago, but I remembered exactly how patronizingly Chishiya had sometimes spoken to me. In the meantime, he often had these little moments where it almost seemed to me that he was actually interested in finding out more about me. However, he usually wrapped it up so well that it wasn't always immediately obvious.

Gradually, I began to think more and more about the fact that our visas were about to expire. There were now only 4 days to go and I was already thinking about which game I was most confident about playing out of those that were still left.

A game of hearts or clubs was the most likely option, but I could also imagine playing spades if it was all about speed. I wasn't exactly the most athletic, but I'd always been pretty nimble and usually had pretty good stamina for running. At least until pneumonia threw a spanner in the works.

At the end of the day, however, you couldn't be sure exactly what to expect in any of the games. For this reason, I decided that I had to prepare myself better for the next game. Wisely, I had also picked up a sporty outfit from the clothes store.

Motivated, I put the clothes on and then tied my hair up in a high plait. When I came out of the bathroom in this outfit, Chishiya looked up from one of his new books in amazement.

"Are you going to the gym now?" he asked with a sarcastic undertone.

"No, but I'll try to do some training," I said and did a few stretching exercises in the meantime. "After all, I have to get fit again for the next game."

"Have fun then."

"Thanks."

I filled a small bottle with water and then put on my sneakers.

"See you later," I said and turned to him again briefly. He opened his mouth for a moment as if he wanted to say something else, but then he nodded curtly and turned back to his book. In the stairwell, I wondered what he had wanted to say to me, but quickly tried to push the thought aside. I had to concentrate solely on training now. It was bad enough that Chishiya was appearing more and more often in my dreams at night.

Just the other day I had a strange dream where he was standing opposite me in a doctor's coat like a god in white with a stethoscope around his neck. I didn't remember much of the action, just that I had been a patient of his and had desperately tried to explain to him that I needed a heart operation because my heart was broken because of him.

This once again showed how completely weird even my subconscious had to be to make up something like that. Fortunately, Chishiya had no idea about these dreams, because he would definitely call me crazy if he found out.

About an hour later, I had had enough of my training. I had run a few lonely laps around the neighborhood, doing a few small exercises in between. In the end, I had run up and down our stairwell a few times until I was left gasping for air. I resolved to do this once a day until the game to build up my fitness again. At least I had the feeling that I was a little better prepared for what was to come.

When I got back, I went for a shower and then slipped into my new dress. I undid my hair and shook my curly mane a little. Then I put on a little make-up, which I hadn't done since the beach went down, but today I strangely felt like making myself a little prettier. Deep down, I knew that the reason was Chishiya and the fact that I wanted to get some attention from him.

Every time he wasn't looking or was in the bathroom, I pulled the ID card with his photo from under my pillow and pined at him a little, almost as if I didn't see him all day anyway. Thinking about it more, I hardly needed to wonder why I was dreaming of Chishiya in a doctor's coat.

I ran my fingers through my hair again and then examined myself as best I could in the half-height mirror above the washbasin. The long-sleeved dress I was now wearing was white with a delicate pink floral pattern running through it, but it was off-the-shoulder. It was also edged with elegant ruffles and had two ribbons to tie at the chest. I tied a little bow and then took one last look in the mirror before leaving the bathroom behind me.

When I came out, however, Chishiya didn't look up from his book once. A little miffed, I grabbed my drawing utensils and crouched down at the low table to continue working on my webtoon.

Just seconds later, I looked over at his bed, pouting a little, and noticed that he was looking at me with a slightly raised eyebrow.

"Do you have a date or why are you all dressed up?" he asked, completely unmoved. Admittedly, his question caught me a little off guard.

"No reason..." I mumbled and tried to pretend I was scribbling in my notepad with concentration.

"Uh-huh."

His eyes went back to the pages of the book and I was a little disappointed that he obviously hadn't even started the book I'd recommended, but was reading the other two first.

"I mean...it's not that I wouldn't like a date, but who would go out with me in a place like this?"

As I uttered those words, I wondered how stupid I actually was. Nice try, Tsuki. And above all, so completely inconspicuous.

Was that flirting or just a desperate attempt to somehow lure Chishiya out of his shell?

"Maybe you can find someone outside who has time for that. I've heard that the Tokyo Dome is really worth seeing as a lost place."

I pushed my lower lip forward a little and wondered if he was deliberately pretending not to notice my reference.

"The where is less of a problem than the who."

Chishiya sighed and then closed the book to look at me.

"Why don't you ask Niragi? He was always obsessed with you. Provided he's still alive, of course."

Just the mention of his name made my throat choke and my fingers began to tremble uncontrollably. Furious, I stood up and took a deep breath.

"You really could have saved yourself that comment. You know exactly what he did and that I didn't spend time with him voluntarily. This guy is a sick psychopath who enjoys the suffering of others. As if I'd ever want to see that woman-hating asshole again. I'd rather drop dead on the spot."

Chishiya was obviously mildly surprised by the sudden outburst of anger his words had triggered in me. I dropped back to the ground and for a moment I felt a sharp stab in my heart, which made me think of my dream again. Maybe I really was just under hopeless illusions about Chishiya. Maybe he would never change. But the frustration and disappointment made me sob reluctantly.

Ashamed, I turned my face away from him so he wouldn't see my tears. Chishiya didn't say anything.

No sorry.

No anything.

To be honest, I didn't expect him to. But still, there was a naive spark of hope in me that maybe he did have something like a heart.

"Do you need a tissue?" he asked instead after a while, when I sniffled audibly.

I laughed soundlessly and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"Sure. Who needs comfort when you can have a tissue?"

"What Niragi did to you was wrong. And I also absolutely agree with you that he's a lousy asshole who deserves to die..."

"Wait a minute... is this supposed to be an apology?" I interrupted him briskly.

He shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes slightly.

"Something like that, I guess," he then said, sinking back into his pillow.

"I think you should practise that a bit more."

"You didn't even let me finish."

"Well, I'm listening," I said and then looked at him expectantly.

He sighed.

"Okay, I guess I went a little too far."

I raised my eyebrows reproachfully without breaking eye contact.

"And?"

"And I'm sorry," he added without looking at me. My expression softened a little.

"Really?" I asked pointedly.

"Yes, really, and now leave me alone."

Even though I was no longer outwardly angry with him, I was still quite offended by his behavior. His comment about Niragi had really been completely inappropriate. Besides, this topic was a red flag for me anyway. I had largely blocked out the events at the Beach, but I still realized that the whole thing had left a visible mark on me.

The mere thought of the nights in Niragi's room made me panic every time. Unconsciously, I touched the spot on my chest where he had left his mark on me, which had now healed into a pale scar. A shiver ran through me as I thought of his disgusting tongue that had wandered all over my body while he had enjoyed watching the growing fear in my eyes. Then he had taken what he thought was rightfully his. Not just once. But several times.

As Chishiya had said before, I had been his personal toy. His property. And I wasn't the only one. I knew that. But none of us had had the courage to stand up to Niragi because he had all the others behind him who were part of the military squad. When the game of witch-hunting started, I had accidentally seen Chishiya go up to the roof with a gun and had secretly followed him.

Niragi had also been there and there had been a brief argument between the two, but then Chishiya had pointed his gun at him out of the blue. It was only then that I realized it was a flamethrower. Niragi had gone up in flames right before my eyes and I would never have believed that I would ever feel such satisfaction in my life as I did at that moment, because normally I was neither particularly vengeful nor would I ever wish someone to die in such a cruel way. But it was different with him. With him, I could say with a clear conscience that he deserved it.

Unfortunately, I soon realized that Niragi had survived Chishiya's attack. Covered in burn marks, he returned to the scene of the incident. Then we had watched him disappear into the burning building with Aguni.

None of us knew what had happened next because we were forced to flee the scene to save our own lives.

"Do you think he's still alive?" I asked Chishiya after a long silence, because this question had been on my mind for a long time.

"Niragi? It's hard to believe he could escape from a burning building, but who knows?"

"You know..." I began a little hesitantly. "I'm honestly grateful that you were the only one who tried to get rid of him. I don't know how much longer I could have put up with it...all of this..." I said vaguely, looking thoughtfully into space. It was something I had always wanted to say to Chishiya, but so far the moment had never presented itself.

Chishiya raised her eyebrows.

"So you know about this?"

"Yeah, I followed you up to the roof that day."

He actually looked a little taken aback.

"I see. That explains a lot..."

"Oh yeah? What?" I wanted to know and frowned.

He reached for his book again and opened it as if he hadn't heard my question.

"I'm sure you know that I did it for completely selfish reasons and not to play the hero or even to save anyone," he said.

I tried to ignore the underlying pain in my chest.

"I know."

I spent the next few hours doodling on a chapter about our game in prison, lost in thought. For the first time, I tried to include Chishiya in it, which I succeeded in doing better than I would have thought.

As Chishiya was still engrossed in his book, at least he didn't notice what exactly I was drawing. I then thought for a while about whether I should make him my main character. He would probably be much better suited to it than myself.

At some point, when I had almost forgotten the time, I looked up in surprise because Chishiya suddenly put his book aside. He got up and then started to prepare dinner. I put the pencil aside and closed my notepad.

"I'll help you," I offered and immediately jumped up willingly, because I was tired of just staring at my paper, but also because I wanted to spend time with him.

Even though Chishiya still tried often enough to be cool and distant on the outside, there were still those moments when he showed that he wasn't as selfish as he liked to portray himself. Especially our outing together two days ago was something I always thought back to with a smile.

"No need. I'll do it. Just sit down," he replied without looking at me. I hung my head a little.

"Alright..."

I went back to the table and watched him prepare some ramen with chicken broth and canned meat for us instead.
A short time later, we were sitting at the table together and a strange silence had fallen over us as we ate, each of us lost in their own thoughts.

"By the way, I've decided that I'm going to play the next game tomorrow," Chishiya suddenly told me out of the blue.

I froze in my tracks and then looked up from my food, completely stunned.

"But... we still have a whole three days."

"The sooner we get all the cards together, the sooner we can get out of here. I feel fit enough now and besides, it's starting to get boring."

Despite his coherent explanation, I was still completely dumbfounded by his spontaneous revelation. I hadn't even remotely considered that he might decide to play again before his visa expired. He must really have a death wish.

"I see..."

I fell into an awkward silence as the thoughts in my head literally rolled over. The very idea that Chishiya could die in a game sent me into a sudden state of shock. I had already lost so many people who meant something to me. I couldn't let that happen again. Especially not him.
Not Chishiya.

"Tsuki..." he began. My name coming out of his mouth freed me from my paralysis and I looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Yes?"

"You seem surprised," was all he said.

I put on a tense smile.

"Well... yes. To be honest, I wasn't expecting it," I mumbled and lowered my eyes. "Which game are you going to choose?"

"Of the ones that are left...probably the King of Diamonds," he replied with a shrug and then turned back to his ramen.

I nodded mechanically because I had expected something like that. Logic and rationality were Chishiya's strengths and in a game like this he had the best chance of winning, but then again, he was the king. The strongest face card of all. Even for Chishiya, it was going to be a challenge. I was pretty sure of that, anyway.

"What about you? Any ideas yet?" he asked when I didn't answer. This time I shrugged my shoulders despondently.

"I'll probably decide on the spur of the moment. Only Diamonds is out of the question for me."

He gave a faint hint of a smile.

"That's what I thought."

Normally, I would have been offended, but at the moment I was far too preoccupied with my own thoughts. I stirred listlessly in my ramen, completely absent-minded, while I wished it would all just be over. This cursed fucking world with its silly games. I was getting so sick of it all.

Evrytime worrying.
Everyday hoping.

And death always just a blink of an eye away. Admittedly, at that moment I would have loved to crawl under my comforter and cry my eyes out for hours. But in front of Chishiya, I tried hard to be strong and swallow my tears bravely.

"Maybe I'll play tomorrow too," I suddenly decided. "You're right. The sooner we have all the cards, the sooner it will be over."

"I don't think that's particularly wise. It would be more sensible if you waited until you're fit enough."

I knew he was right, but I didn't want to admit it.

"How am I supposed to just sit here doing nothing while you could get yourself killed?"

My voice sounded increasingly desperate, even though I was still trying to hold back my true emotions, but I could feel that I was completely shaken up inside.

"You don't have to. I think it would be better if we went our separate ways again tomorrow anyway."

I stared at him. Completely shocked and speechless.
Then I laughed hollowly.

"This... is a joke," I said and knew immediately from his deadpan expression that it wasn't.

"No. I've been thinking about it for a while and I think it's best for both of us."

"And why is that, if you don't mind me asking?" I hissed angrily.

"Because it saves you a lot of pain. That's why."

We stared at each other for a full minute without blinking, as if we were fighting a duel. Then I shook my head in disbelief.

"So you'd better kick me out, would you? After you've just taken me in here with you and we've...been through all this shit, you're just going to kick me out? I mean, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I admit that, in hindsight, it was probably a mistake to bring you here," he said in a toneless voice.

Angrily, I slammed the bowl down on the table and pulled up. Chishiya didn't seem particularly surprised by my outburst this time.

"You know what, Chishiya! I'll make it easy for you and leave immediately. Then you can continue your lonely existence in peace without anyone getting in your way."

Enraged, I turned away from him and began to mindlessly pack up my things, while Chishiya didn't move an inch. Within a quarter of an hour, I had gathered the essentials and shouldered my bag.

"It would have been enough if you had left in the morning," said Chishiya calmly, who was still sitting at the table just as unmoved as I had left him.

"Do you really think I can put up with you here any longer after I'm obviously so unwanted?" I hissed back.

"I'm just pointing out that it's more dangerous to be outside in the dark."

I snorted snidely.

"Now don't act like you're caring about me." I turned to leave, but then turned back for a moment. "I wish you a wonderful life, Chishiya...or perhaps a pleasant death. It depends. Farewell!"

I rushed towards the door and then pushed the latch aside almost aggressively.

"Wait..." I paused briefly and turned around again. For a tiny moment, I hoped that he had changed his mind. But I knew that even then he wouldn't be able to stop me because I was far too upset at the moment. "You still have my ID."

I stared at him, perplexed. Was he serious? I rummaged in my bag for a moment and then pulled it out by the ribbon. Then I threw the piece of paper at his feet, snorting with rage.

"There you go, Doc," I said cynically, turned around for good and couldn't resist slamming the door shut with all my might. For a brief moment, it was extremely satisfying. By now, so much anger had built up inside me that I just ran, even though it was pitch black outside.

I didn't pay attention to where I was going or for how long. But when I managed to stop after what felt like an eternity, I only managed to sink powerlessly to my knees. I couldn't even muster the energy to cry anymore, so I just lay completely motionless in the middle of the cold asphalt.

The silence seemed to mock me out loud for my naivety. That I had really believed for a second that he actually cared about me. Ridiculous. It was so incredibly humiliating. He'd probably just been waiting to get rid of me as quickly as possible and had only used me to nurse his injury while I'd been lusting after him like an obsessed groupie. I couldn't even tell who I hated more at the moment:
Me or him.

I soon rubbed my arms together, shivering, and then looked up at the clear sky, which was full of small shining stars. The sight of stars was still unfamiliar. Normally the metropolis was far too bright, but now everything was dark and silent. At least until a soft humming broke the silence. Then I saw something light up right at my feet. It was one of those digital traffic signs that were usually placed near parking garages and provided information about the available parking spaces.

A little irritated, I straightened up to read what it said: This way to the game. Right next to it was an arrow pointing to the left. I sighed heavily and then slumped back down onto the road, unmotivated.

"Damn it, just leave me alone, you psychos," I growled. Maybe I should just wait until my visa expires. Then everything would just sort itself out and this whole mess would finally be over. On the other hand, it would take a few more days.

Thoughtfully, I let my gaze wander to the sign with the flashing lettering again and then made a decision.