Taehyung didn't remember falling asleep on the living room floor, but that's where he woke up. His back ached a bit, and for a moment he had to think of why he wasn't on the couch like normal.

Sense was shaken into him soon enough, though. As he rose to his feet, Taehyung laid eyes on Jungkook, face covered in bruises, fast asleep on the couch, blanket still draped over him from chest to toe.

He looked peaceful. For that, Taehyung felt relieved, as he had a bad feeling that when the boy woke up he would be in a lot of pain, so at least he was sleeping well. That is, Tae hoped he was sleeping well. The longer he stared at Jungkook the guiltier he felt. He wanted to talk with him, to find out just what had happened, how Jungkook had ended up like this, if it truly were Taehyung's fault like he worried it was.

Sitting on the floor beside the couch, Tae watched the boy's resting face and felt his heart sink. His conversation with Yoongi from the night before chose then to resurface, just when he thought to himself, Jungkook looks kinda pretty when he's like this. He dared to touch the boy's hand but pulled back when he heard a door open.

Yoongi walked out of the bedroom, his fuzzy, messy hair drawing the faintest laugh from his friend. "Mornin', Yoongi," Tae whispered. Yoongi pointed at the couch.

"Still sleeping?"

"Yeah. Wait, why are you already dressed?"

He hadn't registered at first that his friend didn't show up wearing pajamas, as one would expect seeing as it was morning and Yoongi had presumably just woken up. And it couldn't have been that he fell asleep in his clothes the previous night, because this was an entirely different outfit. A casual, button-up shirt and black jeans, as opposed to the anime t-shirt and blue jeans he had arrived in yesterday.

"Oh, you know, just thought I'd go out for a bit, get some coffee." He dug his hands into his pockets and smiled. "I've been taking morning walks, remember?"

"Yeah, I do remember you saying that..."

"You'll stay here with your roommate then?"

Roommate... "Yeah, I kinda have to," Taehyung replied, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Don't be so down, Tiger, we'll have to go to breakfast together soon."

"Right. Of course."

"I'll be back soon, then, okay?"

"Mhm. Enjoy your walk, Yoongi."

With that, Taehyung watched somewhat sadly as his friend left the apartment and closed the door behind him. And Yoongi hadn't closed it loudly, but it seemed that the noise from the door had still managed to stir the sleeping boy awake. Taehyung held his breath and backed away from the couch. If he finds out I was watching him sleep, I'm dead.

It didn't concern him all too much. Taehyung was more concerned about Jungkook's condition, and finding out who had done this to him.

"Kook?"

It took some time for the boy to fully open his eyes. Lying on his back, the first thing he saw was the ceiling and that almost seemed to puzzle him. But within seconds Jungkook registered the voice that had just addressed him, and perhaps a bit too eagerly he turned his head to look back at Taehyung's worrisome face.

A shock of pain surged through his bones. He winced, biting down on his tongue to suppress the urge to yell. Taehyung immediately jumped to attention.

"Kook, be careful!"

He extended his hands as a steadying gesture, but aside from that Taehyung wasn't entirely sure what to do. His eyes darted around to every inch of the boy's face. Should he hold ice against the bruises again? Would that help numb the pain? Or would it be better simply to get Jungkook's mind off of them?

What do I do, what do I do, what do I-

"Tae, g'morning."

Smiling. Taehyung soon found the boy smiling softly at him, with a pure gaze pouring from his pupils as though the sight of Taehyung sitting right in front of him had deadened the agony in an instant. It turned the other's panic to shyness. Tae pulled his head back.

"Morning," he muttered in response. "I'll...make breakfast if you're hungry. You should eat something even if you're not..."

"You're being sweet, Tae." The smile widened, cut off briefly as Jungkook winced again, but it returned in another second. "What's got you in such a good mood?"

"Not in a good mood," Taehyung said, standing up. "I'm just making an exception because you're currently physically incapable. So don't-" He hesitated as another memory of yesterday flashed across his brain.

Finding Jungkook unconscious in that alley.

Imagine if whoever had done that to him had done worse. Imagine if he didn't survive. Imagine if I never found him.

"...don't hesitate to ask for anything, okay? If you need anything, I'm here. I'll...take care of you till you're better, okay, Kookie?"

"When did you start calling me Kookie?"

Taehyung froze up at the question. "Don't know," he blurted, "but I'll stop. Sorry-"

"No, don't, it's cute."

"Yeah, well, you need to tell me what you want for breakfast now."

"Pancakes, if we still have them. And I can help-"

"You will not."

A childish pout. Taehyung frowned disapprovingly at the boy - it wasn't easy. Attempting to maintain that displeased expression, while Jungkook stared back at him with wide eyes, bruised lip pushed out and, once again, stirring up memories in his head.

"You're not helping me make breakfast," Tae said firmly and turned away to head towards the kitchen. One more second of eye contact and he worried he'd do the stupid thing and cave in and actually let Jungkook help. "Just lie there and rest."

"But I slept. I did rest."

"Jungkook, stop arguing with me-"

"Jungkook? Who's Jungkook? I'm Kookie."

The giggle that followed these words was enough to trigger the blush to rise in Taehyung's face.

Not even extreme physical assault can quell his cheekiness.

He sighed deeply to himself, then got started on the task of preparing breakfast. It was a bit troubling, not knowing how much to make. He couldn't help but think back forth between the time Jungkook practically ate an entire buffet and that day at the mall where the boy hardly ate two slices of pizza.

"Just...pancakes?" He set the box down on the counter and glanced over his shoulder. "I can make other things too, if you want."

"Do you have lavender tea?"

I don't. "Chamomile is good for sore muscles. Do you like chamomile?"

"I guess, since you suggested it."

"I'll make some then. But what about food? Do you want eggs or toast, t—h-hey, what are you doing, sit down!!"

Without even the slightest warning Jungkook started to get up from the couch, clearly struggling, but that didn't stop him. He had managed to his drape his legs over the edge of the cushions when Taehyung caught him, in the process of really trying to stand when he was yelled at. And he sat back down. Not happily so.

"I just wanna sit at the table with you," he whispered, but loud enough that Taehyung could hear him. And Taehyung made the mistake of throwing a haphazard glance his way.

Oh, come on, you can't do this to me.

"Can you even stand up without falling??"

"I can," Jungkook said defensively. "It's just, everything hurts a little so-"

"Oh, just a little, is that it?"

"Yeah. I can walk to the kitchen on my own. So can I please sit out there with you?"

He couldn't have said no if he wanted. Taehyung felt doing so would induce either physical pain, self-hatred, or both. "Fine," he said. "But don't try on your own, I'll help you."

Jungkook couldn't argue with that. So he stayed still as Taehyung made his way over to the living room, put one of the boy's arms over his shoulder, then proceeded to assist Jungkook to an empty seat at the table.

"The seats aren't really comfortable," Taehyung said to him. He hoped to subtly convince the other to change his mind. "I don't get why you wouldn't want to just-"

"I like this better."

That simple statement put an end to Taehyung's efforts. With a sigh of defeat, he resumed his earlier interrupted task of making breakfast. And since Jungkook hadn't given him a direct response, Tae simply went ahead and made a few eggs and some toast in case the boy was hungrier than he let on.

"Do you sweeten your tea?"

"Give the mug a kiss for me and that should be enough."

On any other day, Taehyung most likely would have flipped out or at least scolded Jungkook for saying such a thing, but right now he couldn't bring himself to get angry.

"I'll leave the sugar container here if you make up your mind."

"Thanks, Tae."

It wasn't long before the pancakes, toast, and eggs were prepared and everything was set out on the table, pushed much closer to Jungkook so that he could reach them without having to strain himself. Taehyung sat in the next closest seat.

"If you finish that cup I can get you more, don't be afraid to ask."

"Mhm."

He noticed a change in Jungkook's expression after he had voiced this question. The smallest alteration in the brightness of those eyes. His smile softened.

"This is a nice change," he said.

Taehyung stalled taking another bite of his food. "What do you mean?"

"You know, going from you being mad at me the other day to you making me breakfast and offering to take care of me." He pursed his lips while at the same time reaching up to touch one of his bruises. "I like this better. I want it to stay this way. I don't like feeling like you're mad at me. I don't like it at all. I'll keep getting hurt if it means it gets to stay like this-"

"Don't say that!"

It was a genuine exclamation of concern. Although Taehyung hadn't meant to raise his voice that much, Jungkook guessed, judging by the boy's immediate reaction.

"It's not...it's not funny," Tae said, much quieter this time. "Don't joke like that...it won't happen again. It won't happen, whoever hurt you, I'll-"

"They were after you, Tae."

Honesty. Clear-cut honesty, without Taehyung even having to directly ask.

"They must have figured out I was close to you," Jungkook continued, "and they saw me walking on my own. They pulled me into that alley and demanded I tell them where you were. I wouldn't tell them, Tae. I refused all of their questions."

He hated being right. Suspecting it had to do with him already had made him feel sick, and knowing it was true made things exponentially worse.

"Jungkook...why?" Taehyung trained his gaze on the boy. Behind his eyelids, he could feel last night's tears threatening to come back. "Why do you...why do you always do this?? It's stupid, you're so stupid, I don't understand..." His voice wavered. "You can't say it's 'cus we're friends, 'cus you've been doing stuff like this from the start, before we even knew each other that well. You've always been this way..."

Silence settled for quite a while after Taehyung choked out these words, and for the majority of that span of time, Jungkook had his eyes turned guiltily away - but he looked at Tae at the last second.

"I don't want you thinking any different of me."

"What-?"

"You have to promise me, Tae."

His voice had all of a sudden acquired this solemn, deliberate tone, one that alarmed Taehyung but he wasn't sure in what way.

"Promise things can stay the same. That it won't go back to me not being a part of your life."

Taehyung wasn't quite sure why hearing these words hurt him. But they did.

"Okay. I promise you."

Jungkook let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. His gaze dropped, falling away from Taehyung's in the most disheartening manner.

"Tae...do you remember in your senior year, going up to the roof 'cus you thought your friend was there, but instead you found a boy standing at the edge?"

It didn't sink in. Sheer disbelief and confusion flooded out logic. "How do you know about that?" Taehyung breathed. "I never told anyone. Not even Yoongi."

"Yeah, well...I lost a lot of weight."

Taehyung hadn't thought of it in a long time, for a number of reasons. But he still remembered it clearly. Looking for Yoongi so that they could walk home together, and accidentally stumbling upon this boy with a mask and glasses, standing at the very edge of the roof - because for whatever reason their school didn't bother to lock it up as it should. Maybe because it wasn't really the cleanest, most desirable place to be anyway, so they didn't think they would have to worry about kids going up there. Either that, or whoever was in charge of locking it up never did their job.

Point is, it was open to the students most of the time.

Taehyung vividly remembered catching sight of this heavily dressed, but still noticeably overweight boy, obviously preparing to take his life.

"You didn't know me," Jungkook said, drawing Taehyung from his thoughts. "Even though for close to two years, I had been crushing on you, admiring you from a distance because everything about you was beautiful, and you were always cheerful and kind to people, I never once spoke to you. But still you called out to me and begged me not to jump. You wanted to go get one of the teachers, but you were afraid if you let me out of your sight for even a second that I would do it..."

A crooked smile. The boy strove to hold it in place.

"I didn't want to do it anymore. To go through another day..." He bit the inside of his lip. "My parents were verbally abusive, always shouting either at me or at each other, for everything, I felt like trash every day, like I never meant anything to them, never did. And I had trouble in school back then. That, along with my home life and inability to make friends, I stress-ate. All the time. Other than getting away from my family, you were the only reason I looked forward to going to school."

A slight break in Jungkook's voice urged him to clear his throat. Even that was a struggle right now.

But perhaps what was more of a struggle was looking into Taehyung's tear-stained eyes.

"Why did you never talk to me?"

At this point Taehyung wasn't trying to hold them back anymore, nor the tremor of emotion that could be heard as he spoke. It hurt. Speaking, pouring out the regret from his heart, the regret of knowing he couldn't change what had happened, and wishing things had been different. It hurt.

"I didn't have it in me to talk to you," Jungkook replied. His chest compressed tighter as he continued to stare back at Taehyung. "I was just the glasses-wearing, acne-faced fat kid who didn't talk. We were never in the same class, either, so that made it even harder. You said hi to me once because I passed you in the hallway, but I freaked out and ran away. I knew I would never find the confidence to talk to you. But that day, when you found me on the roof..."

Forcing laughter was a coping mechanism. Recalling everything he spoke of to Tae, all of it brought back the urge to just collapse on the kitchen floor and start crying and not stop. But he didn't want to do that in front of Tae. He owed a full explanation, and that's exactly what he was doing.

"I found the motivation to go up to you. But it was bad timing, you know? I'm sure you remember. The day after you saved my life, yours fell apart, because everyone found out about your blood. After that, you were unapproachable. Glued to Yoongi's side, paranoid of everything and everyone around you..."

He couldn't stop himself anymore. Tears began spilling over his eyelids, down his cheeks, over his bruises.

"I wanted to thank you, I didn't get to thank you..."

Bending over, Jungkook clutched his chest as his heart throbbed in agony. His entire body was shaking now.

"I secretly listened in on yours and Yoongi's conversations when you guys thought you were alone, because I wanted to find out what college you were going to...I'm sorry, Tae, I'm such a creep, I'm such a creep, but I couldn't help falling in love with you, it's not my fault..."

Oddly enough, it was seeing Jungkook cry so hard that helped Taehyung to stop crying. Because he felt he wasn't going to be of much comfort otherwise. Tragically still, words escaped him. So he did what he could and reached out to place a hand on Jungkook's shoulder, moved himself closer, and wrapped his arms around the boy as best he could while they were sitting down.

"You're not...a creep, Jungkook-"

"I am."

"Shut up. You'll never convince me otherwise."

After losing track of how long he had been holding Jungkook, Taehyung pulled back just to gaze closely, intently into the other boy's eyes. Still watery, filled to the brim with painful memories that tried to wash out the happiness he had managed to build up. Taehyung didn't like how it made him feel. He much rather preferred the naive, cheeky Jungkook over this.

"Please go back to smiling, this isn't nice..."

"You hate me, don't you?"

"Why would I? Are you an idiot??"

"You've called me one before..."

It was unbearable.

As though the word "consequences" didn't exist, Taehyung cupped Jungkook's cheeks with his hands and planted a kiss on his lips.

It didn't make him smile, though, as Tae had hoped. Another tear spilled over.

"Are you forcing yourself?"

No, no he really is an idiot...

At the same time, Taehyung could fully understand where the boy was coming from. Mountains of insecurities that developed over years and that probably hadn't weathered as much as he would have liked. He hadn't told Taehyung the truth because he was afraid of being seen as a stalker, a creep, which truthfully, Tae had suspected of Jungkook somewhat at the start for a couple of reasons. But he knew now he was wrong. But now Jungkook was the one harboring those bitter thoughts.

Again, Taehyung kissed him. Even more softly this time, capturing that bruised lip between his own and holding it delicately. Then he pulled away.

"Does it feel like I'm forcing myself?"

Hesitation. "What about Yoongi?"

Yoongi? Oh, he thinks- "Kook, he's like a brother to me."

"Then what am I?"

"You're Kookie."

"And what does that mean?"

"I'll leave that up to you."

*
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end of chapter twenty-one.