Jungkook

I wake up the next morning at six in extreme acrimony. My stomach is scarping inwardly with hunger. Did I have anything to eat last night? I suddenly realize I am laying in just my underwear. I get up slowly and locate my pants on the floor.

My forehead frowns as I get my swaying body up from the bed to get to the door. I find my t-shirt right outside it while my eyes stare at it with a petulant scowl. How did it come here?

Collecting my clothes from the floor, I hoist them on my bed. I grab a pair of nightwear before getting into it and sitting. I think hard about what happened. I can only remember that I was on the bed, Jimin was on my right, hovering above me, and we were kissing each other like animals.

I close my eyes in frustration as my hunger cannot be abated. I have to know what happened and by the trail of clothes on the floor, I reckon nothing good. I want to call him but it's too early. Was I too desperate with him last night?

Every guy I dated, slept with me the first chance they got. Jimin is so different from them all. He is out of the world. The people I dated are nothing compared to him. I am somehow insecure as to why Jimin is with me? I wanted him. This is all I can remember. When I called him last night, I knew I wanted him. Did I really do something that put him off?

I don't get out of my room. The good thing is that last night was the last of my busy evenings. I don't have to go in for work for two days so I can just wallow here in my self-loathe.

I order my breakfast and eat inside. I call Jimin after a lot of coaxing. When he disconnects the call, I inure the humiliation as someone has slapped me. What was it? Did I smell too bad? Did my breath stink?

I wait for a few hours before it's afternoon and I leave a text to him.

Hyung, I don't know what happened last night. I just want to know. Please talk to me.

When Hoseok Hyung suddenly calls me, I jump at the ringing phone. 

"Let's go out for lunch."

"I don't know. I am not in the mood, Hyung."

"I know. That's why I am taking you out. Just you and me."

I sigh and take one last look at my phone to see no response. 

❣

I keep checking my phone every few minutes throughout our lunch. Hoseok Hyung must know something as he doesn't even attempt to ask about anything. And I really appreciate it right now. I can't talk about this when I don't know what is going on myself.

We return and it is almost four in the evening. As I enter my room, everything just reminds me of what I cannot remember.

At night, I turn off the lights of my room not before calling Jimin Hyung one more time, but he seems to not care. I am sure now that I must have thrown myself at him. Or, I must have said no to him when he asked for it. Why can't I remember? There was something really wrong with that wine.

I can't sleep. It's late at night and I see Jimin's text popping on my phone. My heart patters like a machine gun as I even out my breaths to read the words. 

Nothing happened, Jungkook. We didn't do anything. I will meet you soon.

There are no emojis and it's just plain text. I am overthinking so much that even the simple text seems like it is filled with hatred. Did I blow up my chance of being with Jimin?

❣

I go to work after two days of wallowing and Mrs. Cha seems to be gloating for some reason. I try to not look at her much, but she appears to find a way to circle around me. "Is there something you want to say, Mrs. Cha?" I ask her at last.

"How were your off days? Did you enjoy with that pretty boyfriend of yours?" She asks.

"Not really, no. I don't even remember anything from that evening." I reply to her mindlessly. It's a Monday morning so no one comes in at this time of the day except a few smart couples who love their privacy. We both are pretty much free. 

"I can help you remember," she answers and pulls out her phone from her apron pocket. As she slides on the screen to find a picture, I feel anxious. 

She shows me one image of her wrecked car. "Did I do this?" There is a trail of vomit outside her car window running all the way down.

"Yeah," she chuckles and takes her phone away.

I feel mortified and I want to just run away where no one can see me. "I am so sorry, Mrs. Cha. I will pay whatever it cost you to get it cleaned." I tell her, my face is heating up with shame and embarrassment. I ruined my boss' car.

"No need," she waves her hand in front of me arbitrarily. "It happens at your age, Jungkook. I am really glad you enjoyed your evening. Don't worry about it."

She leaves and I stand behind the armoire, recollecting everything that comes to me slowly. I was out of control in the hotel so she offered to leave early, I tried to sneak my head out of her moving car, I tried to call Jimin many times, I kept saying that I will ask Jimin to fuck me and then marry me so Mrs. Cha snatched my phone from me, I recollected the highway where Mrs. Cha stopped the car to rub my back and I puked my guts out. 

Everything comes back to me. I hollered so much when I saw Jimin. The security guards were looking at me as Jimin brought me inside the elevator and then into my room. He was the one who undressed me while we kissed. Then I remember a condom.

Condom? Where did that come from? I never keep condoms in my room.

Everything overwhelms me. I remember asking Jimin Hyung to not leave but he left anyway. His words surround my mind. Not when you are half-ass drunk.

I get it now. I was out of control. Jimin Hyung didn't like that variation of me and now he's mad at me.

The days turn gloomy again as I continue to go to work without a single word from him. Nothing gives me happiness except baking. I go home, come back to work, stuck in the monotonicity of life and my brooding.

Two weeks later, I see one missed call from Jimin Hyung and my heart jumps. I quickly unlock my phone to see a text from him.

Let's talk. I will come to pick you up tonight at seven. Be ready.

"Mrs. Cha!" I am suddenly jocund and she turns to gaze at me. "I am gonna have to leave early tonight."

❣