I'm already sorry for everyone who has to read this.
I think some kind of art can help, and so I decided to put my feelings in some kind of poetry. It doesn't really rhyme, maybe you can't even call it poetry, but I thought I should still share it with you.

Title: -

Why?
Why would this happen?
What the hell...
If you think about it, it wasn't this surprising.
But it's still a shock and so surreal.
I'm mad, mad at myself.
I'm sad, sad because... I don't have to explain why, to be honest.
I'm mad, mad at them.
I'm sad, sad I can't do the things I did before.
I'm mad, mad at you.
I'm sad, sad that I'm mad at you.
Because it wasn't your fault anyway.
I still haven't realized anyway.
See you...
Goodbye.

As said, I'm sorry.