It sits uneasily with him. Everything does right now, in fact. Physically and mentally, to the point where Jeongguk is almost too afraid to drive, to go out on the road in fear of being hazardously negligent. So once he and Jimin are both inside the car, he stops just to grip the steering wheel and breathe.

Heavily. Unsteadily. His head throbbing, aching pain, the worst it's ever been so far, and Jeongguk is powerless to the urge to slam his face against the horn.

Needless to say this acutely startles Jimin. The boy turns towards Jeongguk, arms positioned over his chest as an instinctive reaction to the shock.

"Sorry." Jeongguk presses a firm hand to his temple. "Sorry, little bit of a headache."

"Little bit??"

"Bad reflex maybe-"

"Jeongguk, don't lie to me."

He looks over in Jimin's direction, regretful to find the boy staring back at him with a deep frown, indignantly, appearing offended at the mere idea of Jeongguk twisting the truth of the situation. And Jeongguk isn't fond of how that look makes him feel. Not in the slightest.

"It's...just a headache." He readjusts his grip on the wheel - focus fixed on the road and they having even started moving. "Just a headache..."

"You're making me worried..."

"Don't be."

"You're being a hypocrite now."

Out of habit he bites his tongue, then releases it a second later.

"When I told you not to worry about me, you got mad, and now you're doing the same thing."

Jimin's right and Jeongguk knows it, but he wishes it weren't the case. He doesn't want to acknowledge it right now. The agonizing pain starting to make him believe the only relief is to knock himself out, and even though it sounds ridiculous, it sounds tempting all the same.

His hand trembles as he inserts the key into the ignition.

"Jeongguk."

It freezes. Then falls to his side.

"Jeongguk, maybe you shouldn't drive..."

If he were the only one in the vehicle, he'd ignore the admonition. But he's not. Jimin's here, and Jeongguk would never be able to live with himself if he put Jimin in danger.

He lifts his hands off the wheel. Another surge shoots through his brain. Once again, he snaps forward and pounds the car horn.

"Jeongguk!"

"You're right, I shouldn't drive, I can't drive," Jeongguk says through strained breaths. "I-I shouldn't drive-"

"I think you should go home."

Jimin's voice isn't the stablest, either, but in this case he's doing a lot better off than Jeongguk, as his is from concern while Jeongguk's is sheer pain and panic.

"Do you want me to call your mom??" Jimin reaches out to touch the boy's hand which was already reaching for his. "She can...come pick you up, right?"

"No, I don't wanna disturb her. Call Tae—no, not Tae." Jeongguk quickly releases Jimin to bury his face in his hands. "No, no, forget it, I'll sit here till it's fine, I'll just sit here till it passes, it'll pass, it'll pass, it's got to, Jimin."

It takes a second to register that, in his agony, his eyes started to water, and with how tightly the boy squeezes his eyes shut, it doesn't take much before a tear is forced out of both. Agony. Just pure, vivid agony. At this point Jeongguk just wants to be unconscious so he can't feel it.

If that would help. If that would do anything.

It only makes matters worse that he can still feel Jimin's gaze on him, that hopeless, frantic gaze. The boy has a phone in his hand and the keypad brought up.

"I could ask my aunt or-"

"No, don't bother them," Jeongguk orders through gritted teeth, though his words are still muffled by his hands. "Don't...just, you don't need to call anyone, Jimin-"

"I'm not listening to you. I'm calling Taehyung."

"He doesn't have a car."

"Then Yoongi, Yoongi has a car, I'll call him, give me your phone."

He doesn't wait, but instead pulls the device out of Jeongguk's front pocket because it's both within sight and reach. And Jeongguk lacks the will, strength, and ability to do anything about it.

"...Yoongi? It's Jimin, I...I need a huge favor, Jeongguk is in too much pain to drive right now, can you please come pick him up?? Please, I—yeah, at my house. I'll send you the address. Thank you, please hurry..."

It's difficult to determine how much time passes before Yoongi actually gets to Jimin's house. To Jeongguk, it feels like hours, but in reality the mere concept of time became smothered in dust the moment this headache started inflicting him. He refuses to remove his hands from his face, gripping it tightly, unknowingly digging his nails into his skin - when Yoongi arrives, he has to coax Jeongguk out of his own car and into another by force.

Suppressed crying and yelling turned to painful moaning.

The drive home is spent as such. Yoongi says nothing, however, after his first questions of consideration receive no comprehensible response. That being said, he does what Jimin asked of him, and Jeongguk soon finds himself being led by the shoulders through the front door to his house.

From there the boy races up the staircase and to his room just to throw himself on his bed.

Agony. Vivid, burning agony that seems to have come from nowhere, but feels to have built up over weeks, months, years. That's how bad it is. How dreadful it feels.

Tear-soaked pillow smothering his face, Jeongguk rolls over again and again and struggles with a plethora of dark thoughts prying their way into his brain. Dark thoughts, vivid, vivid thoughts. But the voices are much less vivid, sounds of muffled crying in his head. He slams his fist against his temple as if that would knock everything out.

If he could just fall asleep...

He drains the rest of his own energy after some time, within that time rejecting his mother's and Hyungi's offers to help. And it kills him inside. Especially in the case of his little brother, who asks if the older would like a hug to make him feel better, and Jeongguk can only yell at him to leave the room.

It's not what he wants to do. He doesn't want to yell. He's always hated yelling, but it's hard to speak what you really feel when your heart is being buried in something you can't physically touch.

Some minutes, maybe hours later, through the cacophony in his head Jeongguk hears another knock at the door. Had he the energy, he would probably lash out again to be left alone to his own misery. But he says nothing. Nothing, holding his ears as the door opens.

"Guk, buddy..."

A tender, familiar voice. Jeongguk pries his eyelids apart and watches as Taehyung sits down on the edge of the bed. Tender, familiar. His friend touches one of his hands and instinctively Jeongguk grips it with all his might.

"Ow, ow, okay..." A sharp inhale. Jeongguk urges himself to loosen his grip.

"Tae, Tae, it hurts-"

"I know, I know, Guk, but look at me." Kind, but assertive at the same time, Taehyung takes hold of Jeongguk's arm to lift him up to a sitting position. "You're not gonna help yourself pushing us all away. You said you were fine when I texted you this morning..."

"I was, I swear I was, Tae, it just-..."

"What's wrong?" He presses a hand to Jeongguk's forehead. "Is it just a headache? Do you have a stomach bug?"

"No, I—" A frustrated whimper spills from the boy's mouth. "I don't know, Tae, what does a label matter-?"

"Well, my mom would argue," Taehyung scoffs in amusement, "but I'm not going to get into that. She could take a look at you, though, Guk, she's been working in the medical field for years-"

"Don't want to."

"Then, what, a hug-?"

He frantically wraps his arms around Taehyung's neck and once again squeezes with all his might, except this action is much more comfortably accepted than the aggressive hand grab.

Jeongguk hears a soft laugh fall from his friend's mouth - two seconds later, a sigh, laced in deep sorrow and sympathy.

"Guk, I'm not kidding, you gotta stop scaring me like this. You can't do this to me, Jeongguk, please, I need you to be okay..."

"It'll pass, won't it?"

"Of course it will." Taehyung rubs Jeongguk's back in a comforting manner. "Of course it will, but you gotta listen to us, Guk, you gotta listen to us, I'm begging you."

"I'm listening, I hear you."

"Are you listening?"

"I am, I swear I am." He sobs into his friend's shoulder, devastated to discover he can't possibly hold Taehyung any closer than he is already. "I am, I'd never ignore you, Tae-"

"You gotta keep going, Jimin needs you, I need you. You have no idea."

He feels on the verge of passing out. Taehyung must notice, Jeongguk thinks to himself, that's the reason he's saying these things.

It's just a headache.

Just a headache.

"Tae, I'm tired."

"I know, Guk...I know..."

—