This chapter is for @nellzz_bellzz_ (the @ isn't working, don't ask why) for their continuous support of this book from the very beginning. I appreciate it so much!
Love ♥️♥️♥️

WARNING: mentions of sexual assault, assault, blood, and vomiting.

(14th March 1978)

I'm trying to warn you!'

He knew something was coming, he could feel it in the depth of his bones. And he had a suspicion he knew what...

'Keep an eye on your loved ones'

Sirius skidded to a stop. Listening.

Everything was consumed by silence. Sirius held his breath.

There was a scream.

Mary.

♣ ♣ ♣

Running.

His feet were pounding on the stone floors as he raced towards where the scream had been, towards Mary. He didn't know exactly where she was but he did his best to follow the sound as it echoed through the walls.
His feet on the stone were the only thing he could hear, there was blood thumping in his ears and thoughts racing faster than he was.

He turned a corner onto the fourth floor corridors and caught a vague thundering of receding steps.

He came to a halt.

She was lying on the floor, crumpled like a paper doll, or an abandoned toy. Her golden hair was splayed in all directions and matted with blood and sweat; her eyes were closed and her legs were bent in a way they shouldn't have been.
All Sirius could do for a second was stare at her, bile in his throat and pain in his heart. Then panic. So much fucking panic.

Sirius was kneeling in front of her before he'd even realised his feet had been moving.
Mary's eyes rolled into the back of her head as he tried to lift her into his lap, cradling her.

"Mary?" He cooed gently, "wake up! Come on, love, we need to get you to the hospital wing!" He patted her cheeks gently but firmly. Her eyes fell onto his face but Sirius had a feeling she couldn't really see him.
"Please, Mare!"

There was so much blood. So much fucking blood, he had no idea where half of it was coming from. It was already all over him.

"We need to get you to the hospital wing, alright, beautiful? You're going to be fine, okay? Perfectly fine."

She was trying to say something. Her lips were moving faintly, she was frowning.

"What is it, Mare? Mary? Are you alright?"

"Siri–" she breathed, trailing off, her eyes rolling again.
"Sirius... I, I can't remember."

He didn't get a chance to ask her anything else before she passed out in his arms.

♣ ♣ ♣

(14th March 1978 continued)

Her badge was whirring.

Marlene's eyes shot open to the the badge Mary had handed out last year for the Magical Prejudice Protection, whirring at a furious pace, meaning someone had sent a message through it.

She picked it up off her dresser to read the words that made her heart drop...

Hospital wing. Now.
-Sirius

It could have been anything. Anything at all and yet the urgency in the note pulled her out of bed and into a pair of joggers that probably didn't match her sports bra but she didn't really care.
There was a thump over in James' room and she assumed he'd gotten the same message, only heightening her swivet. When Marlene opened her bedroom door, James was in the common room, pulling a shirt over his head. He didn't need to ask if she'd received the same message, he simply opened the portrait door and held it for her to follow.
They broke into a run somewhere along the hall.

When they arrived at the entrance, Sirius was waiting for them at the other side, with Remus and Peter. Aliona, Trudy and Esme-Leigh were just arriving and Marlene put off looking at them for as long as possible. She knew who was missing.

Sirius wore an expression Marlene had never seen before, his eyes looked like glass, his jaw set like limestone. Remus was holding his hand, stroking a thumb over his boyfriend's knuckles.

Suddenly Sirius looked up, first at James, then at Marlene and even before he opened his mouth she knew it was something abhorrent, something she would be better off not hearing, and that way she might be the same person tomorrow.

"Mary," he choked, voice hoarse, barely a whisper, "she was attacked."

No one said anything. Nothing moved. Marlene daren't breathe. She did everything in her power not to look at anyone else aside Sirius. She wouldn't do it. She couldn't. She would break.

"There was so much blood," Sirius breathed, grey eyes wide, a single tear rolling down his cheekbone, "and she... she looked at me, she told me... she told me she couldn't remember. And then... t-then she passed out. I'm so sorry! I didn't get there quick enough! I should have known! I should have done something sooner, I—"

Remus shushed him gently, pulling him into his side, if only to mask Sirius from the nauseated expression on Remus' own face, his own tears.

James had moved, he was standing in between Marlene and Esme-Leigh now, his hand in his hair, his glasses slipping down his nose, tears freely running down his cheeks.

Marlene forced herself to look. She was Head Girl, she needed to make sure they were okay, even at expense of herself.

Esme-Leigh wasn't breathing. She wasn't blinking. She didn't look like herself at all. In fact, she looked like a different person.
Esme was watching door to the hospital wing but didn't appear to be really seeing it. Her hair was golden blond and cropped to her shoulders; her eyes were a hazelnut brown that Marlene guessed should twinkle but they seemed to be matted by the pain in her eyes. Her lips were a cherry red and not wholly real.

This, Marlene realised, was how she looked without her metamorphagus abilities. She'd never shown anyone this appearance as far as Marlene was aware, and yet she was stripped of so much feeling that she'd switched to her born veela appearance. In her darkest hour, Esme had never been more beautiful. If Marlene could think straight, it might have been poetic.

Only once she had noted this, did Marlene realise that Esme was whispering something. James, who didn't appear to be shocked by Esme-Leigh's looks was watching her with a deep concern while he attempted to keep his own emotions in check.

"—protect her. I said I would. I said I would protect her. I promised, I promised, I promised."

The words were a prayer, perhaps a curse, a mantra, a reminder she wasn't dead. They spun around and around out Esme-Leigh's perfect lips and they stabbed Marlene in the heart.

Aliona had her face covered by her hands, sobbing, gasping for air. Marlene could only imagine the memories that were flooding her in that moment. Aliona's red wine coloured hair was surrounding her face, shielding her face and her gut-wrenching sobs. She didn't make much noise when she cried, almost as if she were too scared to.

Trudy stood beside her, tears dampening her cheeks, and her face buried into Aliona's shoulder. Her chestnut hair was still wet from a shower and was just long enough to drip onto her shoulders. Despite her tears, it looked like she were trying to protect Aliona in some way, holding her as tightly as possible, reminding her best friend she was alive, that she would be okay. There were clearly memories in Trudy's eyes, burning in her head. The rage, the overbearing anger, the feeling. The way she had cursed Kieron Mulciber until she'd nearly killed him. One glance at Trudy and Marlene could tell she'd do it again.

Peter had stumbled backwards, his head leant against the wall as he slowly slid down it. Eyes screwed shut as if he were desperate not to cry. His fists were clenched so tightly that his knuckles were white.

Marlene didn't process the fact she had been silently crying until her vision of Peter began to fade.

Mary.

Wonderful, happy, kindhearted, generous Mary. The girl that would pair Marlene's socks for her; the girl that would lend her a hairbrush in the morning; the girl that would purposely take as long as she could in the shower to annoy everyone; the girl that would boast endlessly about her beautiful baby sisters; and give passionate screeches about muggleborn rights and equity in the magical system.

Mary.

"Poppy needed someone. Sirius piped up eventually. "She said one of the girls could help clean her up. She's... she's been sedated. S-sleeping draught, I think. To make sure she stays calm."

Before the words had finished leaving Sirius' mouth, Marlene spoke, looking up, suddenly everything became sharper in her mind, behind her eyes.

"I'll go."

Some of them looked at her. Esme-Leigh continued to stare at nothing, unblinking; while Aliona couldn't stop heaving breaths long enough to tear her hands away from her face, but she nodded.

"I'll go," Marlene said again, quieter this time, and most likely unnecessarily.
Nobody stopped her when she pushed the doors open, and stepped into the hospital wing.

Mary.

Hair golden hair was flat, blood stained, her brow was covered in sweat and her freckles looked like shrapnel on her cheeks.

"Madam Pomfrey?" Marlene asked, willing herself not to cry. She mustn't cry. She had to stay strong.

For Mary. The same girl that Marlene had taught to tie her shoelaces when she was ten; the same girl that had grinned at her across the table when she was sorted into Gryffindor. The girl that lay in a hospital cot, bleeding and broken.

"Yes dear, please come," Poppy Pomfrey worked efficiently, set about making Mary comfortable as she lay unconscious.
"I've not yet given her anything to sedate her, if she wakes up from the blackout first it will be better than me sedating her before she wakes up naturally."

She tried to listen. She really did. But there was blood leaking onto the white sheets. Blood where there shouldn't be.

Marlene watched in horror as blood seeped into the sheets around Mary's skirt.

No.

No, no, no, no.

Not Mary.

What the fuck have they done?

She must have said some of it out loud before Madame Pomfrey was now looking too, a fresh look of concern in her eyes as she lifted Mary's skirt gently.

"Poppy?" She whispered.

Madame Pomfrey said nothing at first, but set about gently peeling something away from Mary. Only seconds later did Marlene realise it was Mary's blood soaked underwear.

Please. No. I can't. Mary. No.

The medi-witch met her eye, tears brimming.

"Please tell me they didn't... they didn't do this to her?"

Poppy shook her head sadly, "I'm so sorry."

Something was about to crack in Marlene when she heard soft gasp coming from the cot. Mary had woken up to see Pomfrey cleaning up the blood.

She blinked, looking down, horror evident behind heavy eyes. She began muttering, and only when Marlene put her ear down to Mary's mouth did she catch what she was saying.

"Marl... I can't... I can't remember? Why don't I... what can't I remember, Marley?"

Marlene didn't have time to say anything before she faded back into herself and her eyes shut once more.

"I'm so sorry," Marlene whispered, kneeling down to hold her friend's hand. Finally allowing herself to cry.

♣ ♣ ♣

(14th March 1978 continued)

Esme-Leigh was staring at the door when Marlene walked back out and instantly she knew there was something wrong.

The girl she knew; the one that laughed without restraint; that showed her middle finger to anyone that didn't agree with her; the one that led the school with composure and authority, was not there. Tears were in Marlene's eyes, and pain. So much raw pain that it made Esme wasn't to look away.

But she couldn't. She shouldn't look away because she had to know why Marlene looked this way.

"There was blood," she said, tears everywhere, breaths uneven and laboured. No one dared move.
"There was blood. And, and... and there was so much. It was..." suddenly Marlene's blue eyes snapped up to her own, locking on her with that same pain, but also sympathy, and perhaps a little fear. "I'm so sorry."

It was Trudy that dared to speak, "why?"

"It was in her skirt."

No...

That wasn't right. Because that would mean something awful had happened. Something abhorrent, and barbaric and completely unimaginable. Something that would steal Mary from herself forever...

Someone was screaming.

Her legs felt too heavy.

She was struggling against something.

Someone was still screaming.

Everything felt heavy, everything was breaking.

Not Mary. Why Mary?

The person screaming was her.

Esme was screaming and she was struggling against someone holding her tightly around the waist, whispering calming words into her ear as she struggled and screamed.

She felt feral, like a trapped animal, she kicked and sobbed, and screamed.

The person holding her still was James. He was whispering something, words of comfort, in her ear, sushing her gently and stopping her from thrashing around blindly.

She didn't know what she was screaming, or what James was saying, but eventually, days later, hours, minutes later, she stopped. Everything stopped and she felt heavier than she had ever been. James held her still, cradling her up as her limbs fell beneath her.

It was that moment Esme realised that she and James had come to a mutual understanding. There were no needs to apologies, for talking. They missed out on the last few weeks, they needed each other. He was there.

He was still whispering in her ear, still holding her tightly, making sure she didn't fall. Esme-Leigh realised then what was important. When everything was falling apart, he was still here, and she had never been more glad to keep him as a friend. She hasn't lost him at all, but she knew she was losing herself.

Only once the screams had reduced to whispers did Esme-Leigh realise what she'd been saying:

"I promised to protect her. I promised I wouldn't let anything happen to her."

She promised.

"I promised."

♣ ♣ ♣

(15th March 1978)

The morning was still the night. When they were sent back to their dorms, told to go till morning, despite the fact that it was nearly witching hour.

Esme became so weak that James had carried her back to Gryffindor tower and placed her in bed himself. Marlene climbed in beside her, just in case she woke up, and James went to spend the night with the other marauders.

Trudy had hugged him before he left, thanking him for carrying Esme-Leigh. He brushed it off and hugged her small body briefly, kissing the top of her head and promised he'd be back before sunrise.
Aliona didn't say anything, but on his way out, James caught her eye with a question. She nodded though bloodshot eyes, reassuring him that she would be okay.

He left after that, leaving them in the quiet of the middle of the night.

♣ ♣ ♣

(15th March 1978 continued)

Aliona felt almost nothing. Her limbs were shutting down into themselves and her bed was cold. Her thoughts were unorganised and painful. Flashes of curses and taunts, images of the pools of blood she lay in, her own blood. The sound of her own scream ringing in her ears. The sound of them laughing.

All of a sudden she needed to be sick. Aliona flung herself out of bed and into the bathroom, promptly emptying her insides of any feeling whatsoever. She didn't move for a very long time after that, kneeling over the toilet and her hair bunched into a ponytail with one of her hands.

Trudy was behind her. Her presence smelt of vanilla and comfort, and it felt like home. She knelt next to her and a warm smile filled every cell of her body.

"Hey?"

"I'm fine, I just... memories."

The memories were the worst part, the flashing images that are all so painfully sharp in her mind, so much so that the pain almost feels real every time. It feels new each day.

"Trudy?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I'm terrible person for wanting to forget?"

Trudy's eyes softened, the solicitous colour of milky tea, and she shook her head, "I'm not sure. You're not a terrible person, Aliona, but I'm not sure."

"Because I remember it all. I remember the pain, I remember screaming, I remember the blood, the laughing. I can see it. Right now. And Mary doesn't know. I'm not sure if that's worse or not, but right now I'm wondering if maybe it is?"

Trudy sighed, shifting closer and pulling Aliona away from the toilet and into her arms. They sat together on the bathroom floor for a while, holding each other and wondering what was worse. To remember it all, in painful detail; or to wake up with no memory of the nightmare that's supposed to have happened around you.

When Aliona goes back to her bed, she does not allow herself to cry. She thinks of Mary, waking up in that blood, no memory of where the pain came from, of who had used her so viciously, had spread her dirty blood onto the marble floors. Perhaps that was worse? Perhaps she was a horrible person for wishing to experience that sort of oblivion instead?

♣ ♣ ♣

(15th March 1978 continued)

Marlene found the newly arrived Aurors in the room of requirement. They had written, saying they would arrive to investigate the recent attacks and her brother had given her word they'd arrived. The room was the same way it appears to those looking for the MPP and Marlene guesses that it was Jasmine Sempere that lead her brother in here.

Lucas McKinnon perched on the edge of one of the sofas, twirling his wand aimlessly between his fingers. Lucas had clearly not arrived wearing uniform, instead he wore a Puddlemere jumper with the sleeves pulled so far down his wrist that most of his hands were covered by the fabric and his hair obscures his eyes as he stared at the floor.

"Lucas?" Marlene said quietly, her lips nearly smiling with the wave of comfort that washed through her when her brother looked up, his amber-hazel eyes shining like gemstones as he leapt up and across the room to gather her in his arms.

"Hey, Marl. You okay?"

For the first time in days, she can finally admit that she's not. Not nearly okay.

"I'm so glad you're here," she murmured into his neck, he smelt like ink and biscuits.

"Me and Jazz'll do everything we can to help, alright? We'll make sure we find who did this to your friend."

The siblings broke apart and Lucas took the opportunity to give her a reassuring smile, he wasn't much taller than Marlene, maybe about three inches, but he looked down at her like she was still nine years old. Sometimes this annoyed her, but today it made her feel instantly better. She had James, but somehow Lucas being here was like having a comfort blanket wrapped around you, holding you close.

Marlene glanced around the room, "where is Jazzy?"

Lucas chuckled, "the sentimental idiot went to see the Hufflepuff common room, I think."

"Oh, and she showed you this place then?"

"Nah, I knew about it before."

"What?!"

"Yeah? Where else was I gonna take my girlfriend after a quidditch game?"

Marlene rolled her eyes, a small smile on her lips, "I forgot you had a girlfriend back then. Very classy. I can't see why she left you."

"Shut up, Marls."

"Whatever, dickhead."

Having a brother like Lucas was like having a punching bag and a best friend all at once. There wasn't anything quite like it.

♣ ♣ ♣

(15th March 1978 continued)

Sirius had checked the marauders map, he knew exactly where Regulus would be; he didn't, however, expect to see Jasmine Sempere in the corridor on his way down.

"Jazzy?"

"Sirius!" She grinned, jogging over and hugging him, "sorry didn't the Heads mention? Me and Lucas are here to investigate the attacks."

Sirius raised his eyebrows, "thought you were on the Snatcher Taskforce?"

"I am. They thought I could investigate the memory charms used on the students. McQuade wasn't too keen on me leaving, but your father didn't seem to mind."

"Lucas is here too?"

"Yep."

"Well is there a time I can talk to you both? I've got a few ideas of where you might want to start looking."

Jasmine's eyebrows shot up, her honeyed hazel eyes widening with surprise.
"Sure! We're being set up in an office tomorrow. You can come see us any time you like, I'll get James of Marlene to tell you where said office is once we find out."

"Alright, thank you Jazzy. Not just for the help, but for being here."

"There's nowhere I'd rather be."

Sirius smiled and continued on his way, waving over his shoulder to Jazzy and sending her a two fingered salute.

Regulus was in the broom shed, checking out his quidditch broom when Sirius finally found him.

"OI!"

The younger Black brother turned with a look of alarm which didn't quite have time to register on his face before he was pinned against the wall, Sirius with a first full of his quidditch robes.

"This is what you were warning me about?! Your fucking Death Eater scum buddies hurting my friend?! You couldn't have stopped them? You couldn't have been told me without speaking in riddles?! She could have bled out on the floor if I didn't see her! She could have died, Reggie! SHE COULD HAVE FUCKING DIED!"

Regulus said nothing, he simply watched with a passive expression as Sirius shook him by the shoulders. Tears rolled down the older brothers cheeks as something flashed behind his eyes. Images of Mary, her blood pooling around her head, her blonde hair soaked, her eyes rolling in pain.

"What if I was too late? What if she'd died?!"

"I tried to warn you!"

"No you didn't," Sirius spat, poison in his words, hatred lacing the syllables.
"If you tried to warn me then Mary wouldn't be in the hospital wing. I would have gotten there sooner!"

"Sirius..."

"I could have helped!"
There were tears in his eyes, rolling down his cheeks and he shoved Regulus away, slamming his back into the wall and storming out the cupboard, hoping he'd never see his brother again.

♣ ♣ ♣

(16th March 1978)

Sirius found Esme-Leigh in the hospital wing the next day, by Mary's side. She hadn't done much else recently when she wasn't in class.
He watched from the door, leaning on the frame and blinking back his tears. He would have to tell her, about Regulus, about how this was all his fault. She would find out eventually.

"Jolie fille?" he asked tenderly. Esme-Leigh glanced over her shoulder and smiled briefly, forcefully. Everything about her features were lacklustre and tired. Her hair and eyes were a deep, unapologetic, midnight blue.

"Sorry I didn't hear you come in. I feel like Greyfriers Bobby in here."

Sirius laughed gently, fully entering the room and sitting on the chair the other side of Mary's cot.
"Don't apologise, no need."

Esme shrugged anyway, her eyes did not meet his, instead they watched Mary who had not yet woken up since Marlene had seen her that night. Her hair had been cleaned magically and was now free of the blood Sirius had seen on the stone floor. But no matter how hard he looked at her now; at her clean, freckled face, or her gently shut eyelids, her dark blonde hair; all he could see was the blood. He could feel it on his hands, warm and thick and the kind of metallic smell you could taste.

"Esme?"
She looked up, a question waiting in her eyes, unspoken.

"I need to tell you something, and you have to promise you won't hate me."

There was honesty in Esme's eyes when she nodded, a truthfulness that would have twinkled like a night sky, no matter what colour her eyes were.
"I promise, Padfoot."

"The night... that night, I was looking for something when I found Mary. I think I was looking for her."

"What do you mean?" Her voice was a whisper stolen by her breath.

"A few days before, Regulus sought me out, he tried to warn me about something but he wouldn't tell me what. I thought he was just playing some kind of sick game when, that night, I felt something unusual in the air, and I knew something wasn't right. I realised Regulus was trying to warn me that one of you was in danger, of course it was the only other muggleborn not to be attacked."

At the word 'attack,' Esme winced, but nothing else betrayed any feeling at all. Her face was schooled to be emotionless. Or perhaps it just was?

"Please don't be angry with me, ma fille. I swear on anything you want me to swear on, I didn't realise until it was too late."

"I'm not angry," Esme said suddenly, not looking at Sirius any longer, but instead her eyes on Mary, on the freckled hand she held between her own.

"You're not?"

"Non, I don't see the point in being angry. It would have happened anyway, and you've never trusted your brother, he's never been one to trust. It's... it's okay."

Sirius watched his friend for a moment, the way her eyes were trained on Mary made him realise that Esme-Leigh should be angry, and she knew it. Somehow, though, she couldn't bring herself to be annoyed. It just didn't seem important.

"Esme?"

"Oui?"

"Come down to dinner. Please?"

"What if she wakes up?"

"Then you'll be first to see her. Please, darling."

It took Esme a long time to reply, she didn't look away from Mary the whole time.
"I can't leave," she whispered eventually, "I just can't."

Sirius stood, watching her for a moment before shaking his head, "alright. One of us will bring you up something."

"Thank you."

"Anytime, Grayfriers Bobby."

Esme-Leigh nearly laughed, her smile would have ended a war.

♣ ♣ ♣

(16th March 1978 continued)

James found Marlene smoking a cigarette out the window of the Heads common room in the middle of the night. It wasn't uncommon to find her here during the day, sitting on the ledge, kicking her legs over the side, usually surveying the scene below her with a windy sense of superiority. But today she sat on the ledge, leaning her head against the frame, her legs didn't kick with mild delight, she didn't seem to relish in the soft breeze combing through her hair.

The night consumed Marlene, the usual blonde curls of her hair were tinted purple in the light, and her pale skin glowed with it, the moonlight absorbing her. She was thinking, he could tell, even without fully seeing her face. The way she moved, it was obvious she was pondering something.

James thought about what Remus had said, about Marlene's weakness being her girl. Perhaps it wasn't just Mary that was keeping everyone awake.

"McKinnon, you got anymore cigarettes?"

Marlene turned slightly to see James standing behind her, she offered him a smile and shifted up so he could join her on the ledge.
"I thought you were trying to quit, caving into Lily narking you to stop?"

"Yeah well, I'm not very good at quitting."

Marlene chuckled softly, pulling another cigarette out her pocket and holding it out to James. He ran it along his lips before allowing Marlene to light it with the tip of her wand.

"So, what's got you out here? Breaking promises to quit?"

"Cant sleep," he replied simply, taking a drag of the cigarette and watching the smoke spiral from its luteous stem and mould into a metallic blue around their heads.

"That seems to be the general consensus these days," Marlene remarked gravely.

"And you?"

She shrugged, taking another drag, most likely to avoid dialogue.
"Everything and nothing, really."

"Remus was right."

She turned to look at him, ever so slightly, a frown etched in her blonde eyebrows.
"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Remus told me a few days ago that your girl is your weakness. I knew he was right, but you have a way of confirming things without words."

"What is this supposed to mean, Prongs?"

"It means, Dorcas is eighteen –muggle legal age– and you're seventeen which is wizard legal age. I don't know if you've forgotten, Lene, but that means you can write to the ministry and apply for permission to tell Dorcas you're a witch, seen as you can't marry her by muggle law. I thought it would be marked in a calendar somewhere?"

Marlene avoided his eyes, smoking cautiously instead, grateful to have something to do with her hands.
"You actually want me to tell you?"

"You're basically my sister, Marlene. You're brothers are all much older than you, I never really had anyone around growing up aside from you. I think we're past secret keeping."

She sighed, with only a slight hint of melodrama, "from the beginning then?"

"That tends to be where one starts."

"From the beginning it is, your highness: if you'd asked for the short answer I would say I was scared. It's not very Gryffindor but it's true. But you didn't ask so I won't tell you that. Instead I'll tell you that I thought I was excited to tell Dorcas everything. From the day we met I hated lying to her –well not lying... withholding information– regardless, I thought I couldn't wait. Until the day came and I realised that I'd been with Cas for nearly two years, and it scares me how much I love her. She's it for me. The only one. It's pathetic, of course, but it's also true. You'll know all about it," Marlene elbowed James gently and winked. James said nothing, but even in the dark she could see the tips of his ears were pink.

"Anyway, I started wondering how she would react, and if she would still want to be with me. I started having these nightmares that she would hate me for lying, or for being magic, or that she wouldn't believe me– even after I show her. And the Ministry say that if they react in any of those ways then the safest thing to do is erase any memory of yourself to your partner. I would rather die than make my girl forget me, no matter how she takes the news. So I started putting it off. I want to stay with how we are. Just for a little bit."
Marlene shrugged, taking another drag from her cigarette with slightly shaking hands.
James watched her carefully, before reaching out to wrap an arm around her shoulders.

"You're not going to make me tell her, are you? I know I sort of forced you to tell Lily about your date with Esme-Leigh."

James laughed, pulling her closer, "I never told her. I couldn't. Went to see her on the Sunday, saw her smiling at me and chickened out. I suppose she knows now though, she's not replying to me anymore."

Marlene shrugged, "You should talk to Esme."

"Ez?"

"Yeah, she'll tell you more about it. But thank you, for not forcing me."

"It's not my place, if you want to enjoy the normality then I won't stop you."
He didn't tell her everything. He didn't tell Marlene about Lily's real identity. He didn't tell her that Lily was actually Lily Evans, and that he still hadn't found the strength to confront her about it. He didn't tell her any of that. Instead, he put out his cigarette and smiled at her with reassurance in his hazel eyes.

"We'll be alright, Marlene, won't we?"

"Eventually."

They climbed back into the common room together, praying 'eventually' came soon.

♣ ♣ ♣

(17th March 1978)

It was the wee hours of the morning and nobody had gotten much sleep. James supposed the reason he was the only one on his way to the hospital wing was because the rest of them were lying in their beds, pretending to be sleeping while they made soul-shattering eye contact with the ceiling. It was, after all, exactly what he had been doing as well.

Although, when he gently pushed open the hospital wing doors, and slipped inside, he saw that he was in fact not the only one here. Esme-Leigh Bisset was perched on Mary's bed, holding onto the unconscious girl's hand like it was the only thing anchoring her to the real world, and she would fade away without it.

"Ez?"

She turned to look him, her eyes watery and barely recognisable. They hadn't spoken since the night Mary was found. They'd come to an understanding that night, that they'd never really lost each other. James was there to hold her back, and carry her to bed, to be there for her. And Esme would be there for him too, no matter their history, James and Esme-Leigh had a friendship stronger than misjudged dates.

Esme-Leigh offered him a halfhearted, slightly teary smile.
"Hey," she breathed, whispering so as not to wake up any of the other students in the hospital wing.

James walked closer, and sat down next to Esme, on the chair just behind her.
"Marlene said I should talk to you. But we don't have to talk, we could just be here with Mary if you like?

She seemed to consider this for a moment before shaking her head, "no, no, it's okay."

"Alright then, I'm all ears."

"I told Marlene this a few days ago and it's probably what she wants you to know," she spoke without looking at him. Instead her eyes were transfixed on Mary. "I went to see Lily myself. I told her about... us."

James felt his throat close up. Everything stood still in his head, and for a very brief moment, he couldn't think. There was a clock ticking somewhere in the room.

"She was okay, with me. I think that's why she's not been writing to you."

James could now feel her eyes on him. She'd torn herself away from Mary to study his face and he couldn't bare to look at her.

"You want to see her, don't you?"

"She's stopped replying to my letters."

"I know, James. It doesn't change that you want to see her, though, does it?"

"Of course I do." He met her eyes suddenly and it felt like a stab to his gut. He hadn't looked into her eyes properly in weeks. He hadn't seen the change in them, the broken pieces of glass that shattered in the blue, of the sullenness of her cheekbones, still high and beautiful. But broken with emotion.
"But there are more important things," he whispered, glancing towards Mary as he said it.
"Have you ever been in a fire?"

"Non."

"Well when I was a kid, my mum used to tell me this story about a fire in her family's old house. I was only a baby then, so I don't remember, but she was visiting her mother in one of her country houses and there was a fire. My mother told me that in a situation like that, the first thing she thought about was getting me out safely. Everything else fell into a natural order. I miss Lily, I need to apologise, I need to talk to her. But more importantly I need to be here with Mary, when she wakes up; I need to be here with you, and everyone else. Because we need each other, and right now that's my priority. That's what I'm saving from the burning fire. So I'll give Lily some time, then I'll see her. In the meantime, you look like you've been here all night. Get some sleep, Ez. I'll stay with Mary in case she wakes up."

Esme-Leigh regarded James with something new in her eyes, like reverence, or respect, or something terrible he didn't comprehend.
"I don't need sleep. I'm fine."

"Ez..."

"What?"

James smiled, standing up and grabbing her under the arms to pull her up too.
"You can hardly stand. Get some sleep. If Mary wakes up then I'll tell you straight away."

"Alright... promise?"

He drew a cross over his chest, "cross my heart, hope to die."

Esme-Leigh let out a noise that was almost a laugh.
"Can't believe Remus taught you that phrase."

"The Sound of Music taught be that phrase. Besides, I think it's splendid. Now get out of here, I'll be here the whole time."

Still, she was reluctant, watching Mary as if she might turn into thin air while her back was turned.
"James," her voice was breathy, barely even there. "What if we don't find out who did this?"

It was a questions he had been wondering himself. The idea that someone could get away with this filled the back of his throat with bile, the mere idea that this was so easy to get away with.
"The aurors are here. Lucas and Jazzy got here yesterday," James reassured, only half believing the comfort they brought. "They'll get to the bottom of it, and they'll make sure that whatever scumbag did this to Mary gets rightfully punished. Mulciber got away with it the last time because Trudy was careless. But this time is different, we can fix this. We can send whoever did this out the school for good. Protect the muggleborns. It's the most important thing in the world."

Esme-Leigh reached over and took James' hand, squeezing once before letting go. His hand was warm, fireworks were miles away, but they'd made leave with the fact that fireworks can never happen.

"Get some sleep, Ez. Trust me, we'll be okay."

Slowly, she nodded, "alright. Bye Mary," Esme whispered, leaning over to kiss her forehead.

She went to leave but just as she reached the door, Esme turned. "Prongs?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you, for being there that night. I needed you."

James smiled, "I'll always be there if you need me."

"Merci, je t'aime."

James smiled, turned back around to see Mary still lying there, her hair fanned out on the pillow.
"Hey, Mare," he whispered, taking her hand in his, "she loves you, you know. I'm not sure if she knows it. But Ez loves you. All she wants is for you to be alright." He held her hand a little bit tighter, "that's all any of us want."

James realised that his mother had been right. In a fire, what's important comes to light, everything else just becomes detail.

♣ ♣ ♣

(17th March 1978 continued)

The two aurors make an appearance at dinner, sprouting all sorts of chatter and whispers among the students.
There were two empty chairs at the staff table for them, but Lucas and Jazzy seemed content to sit among the Gryffindors, with the marauders and the other seventh year girls.

Mealtimes had become a somewhat somber event in recent days, most of the time they would eat in silence. But with the aurors here, at least there was something to talk about.

"We're looking into any people that might have recently had a falling out with Mary, and we're seeing who of those people can be accounted for," Lucas told the group in a low voice so as not to alarm the group of second years eating beside them.

"We've also..." Jasmine closed her eyes a second, gathering the strength, "after hearing about the nature of Mary's attack, we've narrowed the search to men."

Esme-Leigh began to look a little bit sick, she pushed the plate of food she's been playing with away from her, an expression of distain in her eyes. No-one wanted to eat much after that.

"And Snatchers?" Sirius asked gravely, in an almost businesslike tone. In moments like these it was easy to remember he was a Black, the schooling of emotions had become a second nature to him.

"McQuade doesn't want to waste anymore resources, he doesn't think there is a connection. I think he's wrong, so I'm looking into it. I'm studying the memory charms Madame Pomfrey recorded on Mary and comparing them to Snatcher files. Results should be back room."

James nodded, "and Mary? Who's with her now?"

"Aliona," Peter replied, "she took over from me about three hours ago. I told her she didn't have to; I thought maybe being in the hospital with someone in the same condition she was in might bring unwanted memories, but she insisted."

"I'll take over from her. I'm not hungry anyway. I'll take her some food." Esme-Leigh announced, speaking normally for the first time in days, but her eyes were fixed straight ahead, unable to see.

"You sure? I'm happy to stay with her," Remus offered, a pleading look on his face. It was clear he was concerned for her, his amber eyes brimming with sympathy.

"No, I want to."

He nodded, taking her hand briefly, "alright then. Alright."

Esme-Leigh Bisset left without another word.

♣ ♣ ♣

(17th March 1978 continued)

"You missed dinner," was the first thing Aliona said when Esme-Leigh came in the door. She didn't look up, instead kept her eyes on Mary.

"Wasn't hungry. I brought you something, though."

"I'm not hungry either."

"Bien sûr."

Esme-Leigh came to sit on the other side of Mary's bed, watching Aliona with caution. Her grey eyes hardly saw anything, Esme noticed. She was always a million miles away.

They hardly said a word until the sun was almost down.

The room didn't change in the transition from day to night. The sky was the sort of cloudy grey that couldn't decide if it was hot or cold, and it danced around the rain for weeks.

On a small table beside Mary, people had left gifts. There were chocolates, cards, and so many flowers the table was overflowing.

"I got better," Aliona said eventually, her voice like a birdsong. Esme-Leigh looked up, offering her a confused expression.

"When I was attacked, I got better. I woke up, I had all of you by my side, and with time, it's become easier to deal with. It's like..." she trailed off and let her stormy grey eyes wander to the window, out where the sun was setting in a hollow ash, matching her eyes.
"It's like riding a bike, you need to learn how to do it yourself. People can help, but at the end of the day you have to do it on your own."

"I know. I know Mary can do it, and she will, I'm just not sure I'm strong enough to watch her do it."

Aliona shook head, as if dislodging thoughts she didn't wish to remember as she stood.
"You are. Trust me you are."
Esme smiled, Aliona smiled back.
"The aurors are here now, Lucas and Jasmine will help her."

"And in the meantime, we can look at the flowers."

Aliona didn't say anything in return, instead she squeezed Esme-Leigh's hand and left the hospital wing.
She barely noted the redhead's departure, instead she watched Mary, studied her.

The bedside was riddled with flowers, all sorts of ones that Mary would love, and others she wouldn't. Esme-Leigh only wondered what she would say if Mary woke up.

"People are bringing you flowers, Mary."
Talking to her seemed futile, but she liked to imagine that maybe, somehow, Mary could hear her.
"People bring all these beautiful flowers, but all we do is watch them die. You lie here, and things die all around you." Esme picked up one of the flowers, a lily, and held it to her nose.
"Perhaps we bring flowers for the purpose of watching them die. Or maybe it's more than that. Maybe we watch them die, or perhaps the flowers are company in death. Something to lie beside you, so you don't die alone. There's a beautiful sort of poetry to it. But Mary," her voice was so soft it was barely a whisper, "please don't die. The flowers can instead be life to wake up to. I promise they'll be life to wake up to."

Esme-Leigh held onto Mary's hand. She did not move.

My exams literally start in about a week and a half and I'm still updating, I think that's well done me.

Anyway, apologies for the lack of Lily in this chapter, I just didn't see where she would fit without making it look forced just for Lily scenes. She'll be there in the next chapter! Don't worry!

Thank you everyone who reads this story for the support!

Love,
Abbi♥️