This chapter is dedicated to wandasfavoritebitch thank you for following me and things :)
♥️♥️♥️

(27th April 1978)

The Magical Prejudice Protection had gathered in their usual spot of the room of requirement to hold a meeting. James Potter stood at the front of the room with Jasmine Sempere and Lucas McKinnon.
James had his arms spread as he dramatically gesticulated the importance of keeping on top of patrols, his posture reminded Marlene of a king holding court. Lucas seemed tired by her judgement; his eyes were soft, but going by the rumpled appearance of his, usually fairly tamed, curly hair gave off a different story. Jasmine was completely different. The usually confident former Head Girl was watching the other two head the meeting without saying so much as a word. She too looked fatigued, but it was her sudden timid demeanour that set Marlene on edge.

James seemed to have clocked on to this as he turned to them just as he concluded his point.
"Late night, was it, love birds?"

Jazzy merely rumpled her nose as Lucas scoffed, "I wish. We've just had a lot of work. McQuade is away again which means Jazz has more work to pick up, and I had a job with the muggle CID yesterday because our usual liaison, Ashley, was sick."

James shook his head, "sounds like a riot."

Marlene looked closer at the two of them, and then examined the well practiced way in which her brother gave the excuse. Sounds like a lie. She thought instead.
Something was going on. Something they're not telling us.

That's why Jazzy was so quiet during the meeting, and why her brother seemed to be on higher alert. Maybe their excuses did have some truth to them, and they'd been picking up slack for other co-workers, but there was something else. Marlene nearly chuckled at the possibility James had put it correctly, and they were just love birds.

Marlene watched Jasmine carefully as she brought a cigarette out her robe pocket and lit it with her wand. Odd, she thought, Jasmine never buys her own cigarettes. Unless there was something bothering her?

The meeting had been a blur, it was a standard meeting anyway, discussing painfully slow steps in Mary's investigation, sharing patrol reports, and anything else that might have come up during the week.

"Next meeting will be held on Wednesday as opposed to the usual Thursday," James was saying when Marlene finally joined the room once more, bidding goodbye to her train of thought.
"I booked the pitch for the Gryffindor team on Thursday to prepare for the final match of the season on the next Saturday. Hopefully you're sympathetic."

"I don't see what you're even training for," Paul Awan said in a taunting sort of way, "no amount of practise is going to help you beat Hufflepuff."

The MPP erupted in a series of hisses and exclamations. James however, was not phased, "please," he scoffed, "you're only in this final through the skin of your teeth against Slytherin last week. It's a done deal."

Again the crowd rose to the drama. Marlene spared a glance to see Jasmine had calmed slightly now the subject had changed to something more trivial, it only made her more curious.

"We'll see, Potter," Jazzy chimed in, "Hufflepuffs want that cup just as much as you Gryffindors do."

"Oh so we're, 'you Gryffindors' now, huh?"

"Yes, Lucas, you are."

Lucas rolled his eyes playfully, "brutal."

"Get a room, please," James averted his gaze as dramatically as possible.
"Regardless of the outcome next Saturday, does everyone know the new rota? If there's any problems you can't deal with alone, send a message through your badges."
The MPP collectively nodded.
"Alright, see you Wednesday. I've got quidditch practise like," he glanced at his watch, "five minutes ago."

"I tried to tell you," Sirius scolded.

"Yeah alright! Let's go then!"

Marlene stood when Sirius held out a hand to her, allowing herself to be hauled up as she watched Lucas and Jasmine as closely as she could. There was definitely something they were hiding, and she was going to find out.

♣ ♣ ♣

(27th April 1978 continued)

The grass below their feet was damp with dew as they trudged back from Quidditch practise, still wet from the changing room showers.

"Prongs!"

James turned to allow Sirius a moment to catch up with him.
"Alright, Padfoot? You played well today."

"Don't flatter me."

"I'm not!"

Sirius scoffed, "I just wanted to thump the shit out of something to be honest. Being a beater comes in handy."

James shrugged, taking a sideways glance at Sirius' unamused and clearly grave face.

"Where were you on the twenty-first? I came to find you, see if you were alright, but you weren't around."

A small pulse of alarm rose through James, he pushed his glasses up his angular nose and frowned, "why?"

"Well it was mum's birthday. I ended up spending a couple hours talking with Marlene instead, but you could have left a note."

It had been a week since his mother's birthday, and James was under the impression that Sirius didn't want to talk about it. Before the fact, he'd been picking fights and earning detentions like he was in fifth year, and the day after he said nothing; perhaps it was foolish to assume on her actual birthday that Sirius didn't seek him out, and that he wouldn't wish to discuss it. Sometimes it was difficult to remember that James may have been an only child, but she shared his mother with many people, and he was not the only one that lost her, and would remember her birthday.

"Yeah, sorry. I should have come to find you."

Sirius shrugged, "it's fine. You were with her, weren't you?"

"With—"

"—don't ask me 'who' because you know exactly who," he interrupted, holding a hand up in front of James' face.

"Whatever. Look, I'm sorry I left."

"It's forgotten about, mate. I just wanted to make sure you weren't out being a hooligan or something, but the assurance you were actually being a pansy and frolicking around the fact you're whipped for a pretty muggle girl with the pretty muggle girl makes me feel a lot better."

"Will you fuck off?" James shoved his best friend on the shoulder, sending him tumbling a few steps but they were both fighting smiles. That's how things were with James and Sirius. Things were forgiven, talked about, forgotten, just as soon as they were raised. There was no point in fighting over them, or dragging out the bickering, when they could skip to the part where they make up and stay best friends.

"Full moon soon," Sirius said conversationally, changing the subject as they continued to walk at a leisurely stroll towards the castle. Dinner would be starting in about half an hour so the grounds were quiet.

"How's Moony feeling?"

Sirius shrugged, "bit shite but he thinks it's going to be a mild one this month."

"Thank heavens for that because the last three have been fucking awful."

"Tell me about it."

Just as they reached the top of the grassy incline, they saw two figures standing just outside the wood, both distinguishable by their green robes.

"Say Padfoot?"

"Yes honey?"

James ignored him, "is that your brother?"

"Hold on." Sirius squinted his eyes before nodding.
"Yeah that's him. What do you suppose is going on? They both look pretty pissed off."

Both boys were now attempting to subtlety get a closer look, and upon further inspection it would appear Sirius was almost right. Regulus was talking to a brown girl with a deep set frown, one that looked to be an almost permanent fixture of her face.

"They're not pissed off, I think they're worried. Or at least she definitely is."

"And who do you suppose she is? Because she looks awfully like the woman married to Marlene's brother."

"You mean Darren's fiancée? Amira?"

"Exactly."

"Are you pretending to be dense for comedic effect?"

"Yes."

"Well in that case, you did a stellar job. That's Amira's little sister, Naavya."

"Ahhh, I knew I recognised her! But it still doesn't answer my question: what is going on? Isn't she in sixth year?"

James nodded, eyes still periodically flickering to the two Slytherins, trying to gage the nature of their conversation.

"Well they don't have any classes together so what business do they have being chums? I doubt Amira would forget to mention her sister was a Death Eater before agreeing to marry into the McKinnon family so what do you propose is the relationship there?"

He shrugged, Sirius was still watching them with beady grey eyes.
"Maybe they're a thing? After all, it's not really common knowledge– Regulus fraternising with fascists– you have to be in the know."

It was clear that whatever conversation they were having was slowly turning sour. Naavya may have looked merely perturbed in the beginning, but now she was morphing into something with a little more anger.

"A thing? Nah, she's out his league."

"I dunno mate, I've heard he does alright for himself."

"Shite!"

"It's not shite! I have sources!"

"Name them."

"It's not important, Padfoot!" James grabbed his friend's arm and changed their direction away from the Slytherins, "let's just get dinner. We can ask Marlene what she knows about Naavya Bedi afterwards."

"I'm not a child, James. You don't need to bribe me into eating my greens."

James chuckled, still not letting go of Sirius' arm.
"I beg to differ," he muttered under his breath.

"What?"

"Nothing."

♣ ♣ ♣

(28th April 1978)

"You'll see that these two wand motions are virtually the same, through they carry completely different incantations. For the NEWT exam, you will commonly be asked to describe the complex differences between spells like these and why their distinctions are important, specifically in non-verbal magic. Furthermore, you will likely be asked to demonstrate this in your practical exam." Flitwick was explaining to the charms class, flicking through a presentation on a magically enlarged copy of A Standard Book of Spells: Grade 7.

"These exams," he was saying, "are likely the most important you'll sit in your lifetime. Unless of course you wish to be an auror, or work in the medical industry. You will find that—"

Aliona Connolly huffed out a sigh. It wasn't so much that she was bored –typically she rather enjoyed charms– haply it was more fitting to describe her as restless.

Across the room from her was Trudy, sitting at a table close to the front, next to a redheaded Ravenclaw boy called Pixie (which, oddly enough, was his legitimate name). It was funny to Aliona to think that she used to be jealous of Pixie for the friendship he had with Trudy when they were younger– before she had come out. It made her realise that even in third year she'd wanted to be with Trudy. Aliona felt herself smiling slightly as she reflected on it; as if a boy called Pixie Thimbles was going to ruin her fourth-year self's chances. She felt bad for thinking it, Pixie was actually a very nice boy, and not half bad looking, but it hadn't stopped her from carrying a certain distaste for him, simply because of a rumour in third year that he'd had a crush on Trudy. It was ridiculous, and perhaps a little comical (she made a mental note to apologise to Pixie for being so short with him in the past).

But despite her warped dislike for poor Pixie, it made her wonder all over again about Trudy, and what Ozma had said to her the day they broke up.

Things had been different since that day, in a way that Aliona couldn't adequately describe. It felt like a new beginning, like a lie had been unveiled and now they found themselves living in the truth. Every now and again, she would find herself staring at Trudy and wonder if she felt it too, this shift in the atmosphere surrounding them.

At that moment, Trudy herself turned around, likely feeling the burning gaze on her back. When she spotted Aliona a grin broke into her lips, she didn't look away, instead they shared a smile.

The atmosphere seemed to crackle, so much that it was a miracle the rest of the classroom didn't notice, never mind Trudy. There was definitely something there, something real.

The day Trudy and Ozma broke up, a new beginning started, and it sounded morbid, but some small part of Aliona was grateful. Trudy was happier, free, and now the air around them was electric. Trudy turned back to face the board and Aliona forced herself to forget about it, at least for a minute.

"—as you can see here, the Impervius charm is perhaps the most simple charm you will be asked to demonstrate, however it may come with complications..."

♣ ♣ ♣

(28th April 1978 continued)

"Watch it, Black! I've got a stick and I ain't afraid to use it!" Trudy brandished her stick at Sirius, prodding at his chest.

"Unhand him!" Cried Mary, poking Trudy with her own stick which she was levitating from her position safely in an old oak tree, this time on the head.

"OI!"

Trudy, Sirius, James and Mary were all outside, enjoying the uncharacteristically bright weather during their lunch hour. The Black Lake was gleaming under the sunlight and so were their faces. It was a fetching scene indeed, to see them together, simply having fun. They frolicked around like this so rarely, behaving like the children they still were deep down.

Aliona could see them from the shade of a willow tree where she had brought out her homework, and a sandwich. It was charming to watch. They seemed so free as they chased each other around Mary's tree, sticks outstretched as they attempted to hit each other. It was juvenile, that much they all must have known, but it didn't make them enjoy the act any less, in fact it was rather the opposite.

"Mare! Please!" Sirius had jumped up to grab the branch Mary was sitting on, most likely giving her his best puppy dog impression with those persuasive eyes of his.

Aliona didn't catch Mary's reply but it must have made him upset as he was about to dramatically burst into tears before Trudy snuck up behind him, having called an alliance with James behind Sirius' back. She hit him full throttle on the back of his legs and he crumbled to the floor in a heap of robes and limbs.

"Nice shot!" James shook Trudy's hand like they had just closed a rather taxing business deal. "Personally I would have gone for his arse, that would have been much funnier, but perhaps you were raised a better pureblood lady than I."

"Ah yes, Prongs," Aliona heard Sirius grumble, still on the ground, "you were raised a very fetching pureblood lady."

Mary snorted, still not down from her tree.
"You feeling alright there?"

"Fresh as a fucking daisy."

Just as Mary hopped down to help Sirius, Trudy looked across the grounds to see Aliona, still sitting on the ground under the shade of the willow tree. When she smiled, Aliona might have felt her heart stop. She was glowing with happiness, almost childlike in her appearance. Her short chestnut hair had been rustled in the melee of the game and her cheeks were a rosy pink. She looked like an angel in Aliona's eyes.

That look, that smile, it made her mind up. She was going to tell Trudy how she felt. It didn't matter if she didn't feel the same way, it didn't matter she thought she was stupid. Because looking at her angelic face, there was no way she was going to sit by and watch the opportunity pass her by. Aliona had survived an attack, an attack where she had almost died, and only now was she seeing it for the wake up call it was. She had survived this, she could survive being in love. She could survive anything.

(28th April 1978)

Dearest Shortstop,

Your last letter reached me a little damaged, I can only imagine there was an issue with the postage but I'm going to assume that the last part of said letter was you confessing your long lasting, passionate, and powerful adoration for me. Either that or a murder confession (most likely of your sister). Either which way, it's one of the two. Please do inform me at your earliest convenience.

You asked about Remus in your last letter and it's my regret to inform you that the reason he hasn't replied to your last letter to him is because he's taken a little ill. He gets like this sometimes but he'll be bright and chirpy before next week. He said he feels awful for leaving it so long but maybe he'll convince me to be his scribe at some point. (Doubt it.)

Things are going well at the current moment. Mary, our friend I was telling you about, has begun rejoining us. Gradually, but she's coming, and we're glad to see her back. Ever since Esme-Leigh left, things for her haven't been great. Don't hold me to it, but I have every right to believe Mary might have been in love with her. Again, this may be a better discussion to have with Remus as he knows more than I.

You mentioned Alice and Frank in your last letter as well. How are things going with their wedding planning? You're helping her finish her dress in the coming weeks I remember you saying... or maybe padfoot was saying? (I know it's hard to believe but Alice and Sirius have been writing to each other quite frequently. It is perhaps the oddest friendship I have ever seen, but she makes him quite sweet, something Remus can't even do (because he tends to entertain Sirius and his bullshit which I was not anticipating when they entered a relationship. I thought the bastard was going to mellow but he's only gotten worse– and by worse I mean more Sirius-like).

There was something else you had said, but that was when the tarnished paper began to ruin your message, air-go I naturally assumed you were declaring your undying love, or confessing to a heinous crime. Either way, let me know.

I wish I could ramble longer but I've got practice before dinner so I'll sign off now. Hopefully I'll be able to sneak out sometime this week?

See you soon (hopefully),

Yours,
             
James P

The letter was ridiculous but that was how they'd been recently. The two of them had been talking all sorts of nonsense in their letters, telling each other every move throughout their day. It might be pathetic, but Lily loved it.

Their friendship feels like a new slate had turned over ever since the conversation they had on the night of Euphemia Potter's birthday. A new door opened that day, and now Lily can barely stop smiling when she thinks about him and his letters. Sometimes, only rarely but sometimes, she'll have to hold her breath and count backwards because she can feel blue wisps floating out of her fingertips. It's the most wonderful form of magic she's encountered that she cannot control, but she can in a sense, just not when it gets like this.

On the walk home from school with Dorcas, they took the longer route so she could post her reply to James.

Potter, (it read)

I would first of all like to clarify, the ending of my letter did not disclose any 'undying love' for you, nor a murder confession. It did, however, cover a rant I had about Petunia. Never fear, though, as the drama has worn down for at least another few days, and your reply had cheered me up too much to care an awful lot.

I digress.

It's wonderful to hear that Mary is doing better, I'm sure I would get along with her should we meet. You already said she likes reading, and Remus said she likes to talk about her younger sisters. Perhaps I should ask for tips on how to get your sisters to like you (though her twins are a lot younger than her and so maybe that's not the answer, but worth a pop would you say?).

Tell Remus not to worry his arse about my letter and I'll get a reply when he replies. No rush! I hope he gets better soon, tell him I said so.

As far as the friendship from hell that is Alice and Sirius is concerned, I am 100% sure he is corrupting her into his tomfoolery. The other day, Alice tied the shoelaces of one of my ex-boyfriend's shoes together. And before you get all macho bullshit– I was fourteen. I'm over him, don't worry he's not taller than you. In fact, I doubt Peter is taller than this boy.
But yes, we're going to finish her dress this weekend. I'm taking photos with her tomorrow as well which is exciting! I've not shot anything in a while, I've almost got too much film! Maybe I'll take that beautiful camera you bought me?

I'll leave you there, as I'm getting far too tired to continue writing coherently. Goodnight/morning/afternoon.

Yours,
Lily

When she slipped the letter through the postbox, Dorcas gave Lily a knowing, salacious smirk.

"Aren't you two the cutest?"

"I beg your pardon?"

Dorcas laughed, head falling back for a second before walking ahead, towards Lily's house. She turned around, walking backwards to face Lily.
"You know me and Marlene will take full credit at your wedding? We made this happen with our epic love and amazing friend circles."

"I don't know what your talking about."
But she did. She was barely hiding a grin, and rosy cheeks, coloured from a blush that reached the tips of her ears.

"Like shit!"

"Ever the lady, Cass."

Dorcas shrugged, skipping forward to grab Lily by the hand and spin her around.
"Why don't you just admit it? It'll make you so much happier!"

"Admit what?"

"That you're in love with him! And he's in love with you and you're being an idiot to deny the inevitable!"

Lily stopped walking, but Dorcas was pulling on her hand so stubbornly that she stumbled.
"What?! Why would I admit that?"

"Because it's the truth," she shrugged.

"I—"

"If you admit it then I'll leave you alone. I won't ever bother you ever again. I'll never steal another one of your records."

Lily scoffed but allowed herself to be continuously dragged across the street by her evilly grinning best friend.
"If I say it, you promise it won't be repeated. Ever?"

"Scouts honour."

"You weren't even a Girl Guide."

"Fine," Dorcas huffed childishly, her curls bouncing with her shoulders, "Brownies honour."

"Do Brownies make pledges?"

"I don't remember! We're missing the point, Evans!"

"Right. Okay, sure. I'll say it."

"Say it then!"

"And this'll all stop."

"Yes."

"And you won't say anything to Alice, or Frank, or James."

"Not a word."

"And you won't steal my records anymore?"

"Jury's still out."

"Cass."

"Fine!"

Lily grinned, but she hesitated. Telling Dorcas, saying the words, would make it real. Something that she hadn't even been able to fully confront in her head, staring out the window at night. This, saying it, changed everything for Lily. It opened a doorway, to something new, and daunting but something undeniably wonderful.

"I do. I'm in love with him."

And just like that... everything changed.

♥ ♥ ♥

(28th April 1978 continued)

Dorcas was insistent that Lily come and help her with her homework and so they took a detour from Lily's route home and instead went to Dorcas'. Her mother waved them in and was happy to cook dinner for one extra. Dorcas' mother had always loved Lily.

Staying for dinner meant that Lily arrived home later than she usually would if she was simply going to Indulge with Dorcas and so when she arrived back home she expected some kind of telling-off for forgetting to call and say where she was; but instead the house was empty.
Or rather Lily assumed it to be empty until she saw the television light on. The house was draped in silence.

Vigilantly, Lily stepped into the room to see Petunia crying what looked like tears of frustration while Faith watched on, tears of a different kind in her eyes. Martin was in the kitchen, but he daren't breathe for fear of breaking the silence.

In the that first moment, when Lily first set eyes on the scene, her original reaction was one of fear. She couldn't do this again. The silence threatened to suffocate her like the shadows in her recent dreams.
But the feeling didn't last. She didn't drown.

The last time Lily had broken the silence temporarily, with help from James, but she saw now that she hadn't been ready to fully let go of the quiet, not completely. Because she still wanted to hide in it, in some sense.

'I do. I'm in love with him.'

But things were different now. They were new.

"Stop!" She cried, and all eyes snapped towards her.
"I won't play this stupid game anymore! I won't do it!"

Her mother looked as if she might say something but Lily beat her to it.
"I won't live in this silence anymore, I can't, especially when I also know the real reason why we go silent at the first sign of pain, and change. It's because we can't address anything bad happening to us. We just say nothing, pretend it's doesn't exist. Lie. And when it gets too difficult to lie, we say nothing at all."

Martin had slowly emerged from the kitchen and was watching his daughter now too, an expression impossible to read on his face, words impossible to predict on his lips that he didn't get a chance to say.

"It started when I got a letter to Hogwarts, because, in case you hadn't forgotten, I am a witch. I was told by Albus Dumbledore that I was. And after the day he left, we never even spoke his name again! We pushed it back until nobody ever addresses my magic to the point that there were times I thought I was going crazy, and times I thought my magic was fading away, and leaving me forever. You lot would have preferred that, right?"

Still nobody said anything, but the question was rhetorical anyway.
"Well I won't do it anymore. I won't pretend to be something I'm not. Someone I'm not. My name is Lily Juliette Evans, and I am a witch. This silence, this torture, this idiocy ends now!"

She stamped her foot and the flowers on the table top exploded into a confetti of petals. How fitting, Lily thought as she stormed out the room.

What she had said was right. She had meant every word.

'My name is Lily Juliette Evans'

It was about time she earned it.

♥ ♥ ♥

(29th April 1978)

The lighting was the best Lily has seen in weeks. The sun was in the perfect position to capture Alice, and the background without too much backlight.
The sky behind her was almost unblemished blue, save for the peppering of soft clouds, spread like candy-floss above their heads.

"This is perfect," Lily grinned as she knelt down to get a shot of Alice, who was also taking a photo of the landscape.
"So, have you given any more thought to the colour scheme for your wedding?"

"We're seriously still talking about this? We've spent weeks talking of nothing but my wedding."

The camera clicked and Lily stood back up, shrugging, "I still want to know before I buy a dress."

"We're thinking a dark-ish-green and a gold-y-pink."

"Very precise colours."

"Shut up."

Lily held her hands up, camera in one, and laughed, "I'm just saying. For the girl that owns about twenty bridal magazines, you'd think you knew the lingo as far as colours went."

Alice rolled her eyes, "well I've forgotten," she said, snapping another shot of the town from a distance. Coloured houses were organised in neat rows, looking like lego from this distance.

"Well what about flowers?"

"I was thinking wildflowers. They're here already, they're beautiful, and free."

Lily looked around her at the meadow they were standing in together. Bluebells, buttercups, snowdrops, and daises had sprung all around them, decorating the grass like a blank canvas. It reminded her of the summer they'd spent with the marauders; how there had always been wildflowers when they spent days away by the river, or just messing around in the meadow. It was difficult to have a bad memory of that time.

Thinking about it now, how different they all used to be, it made her heart swell. Back then she was Lily Simpson, the girl that wanted to be someone else. But now? Now she was Lily Evans. No-one else. And now she felt like she could take on the world, with those she loved by her side.

I do. I love him.

Recently, ever since her realisation, magic has become harder to control in the most wonderful way. For the first time ever, the feeling of being fit to burst with magic had been blissful. In fact, it curled around the breaths of hair by her neck, the ones that had escaped the ponytail at the top of her head. They spread to her skin, sending tingles all over and she had to work especially hard to stop the feeling from projecting into something Alice would notice.

"Wildflowers are a great idea." Lily said eventually, and if Alice wondered why it took her so long to reply then she didn't say anything but there was a faint smirk on her lips; a smirk all too reminiscent of a certain Sirius Black.

♥ ♥ ♥

(29th April 1978 continued)

When Alice left, Lily decided to stay just a little bit longer. She stayed and picked a small bundle of wildflowers to go in her bedroom, while she waited to make sure nobody was watching. About half an hour later, when she was confident that she was alone, her magic began to slip through her fingers like sand.

Everything she'd kept locked up for seven years had been let out. Every monster in the closet, every thought she hadn't shared, it felt like somehow they were all let go after what she said to her family.

After one last check that the coast was clear, Lily closed her eyes and summoned the doe. It came easily when she called; blue wisps curling around its celestial body, the beauty of which Lily could only have dreamed of previously.

It felt like, in some peculiar way, that now she'd confronted herself and her demons, that she'd finally mastered the doe. It felt liberating.

I do. I love him.

And everything changed.

(29th April 1978)

A promise. There is something so pure in a promise, Aliona Connolly mused, a promise is like the opening of a soul, an assurance that there is no need to be afraid of another opening theirs.

There was a blossom tree in the grounds of Hogwarts, just behind the Black Lake. Aliona had never been able to figure out why there was only one, but it stretched a hefty expanse of the grounds behind the lake, and the branches had long since grown far enough to drape blossoms in an almost arch-like shape. The white flowers reached around the tree like a waterfall.

"I don't understand why it has to be here?" Trudy Nott grumbled as she allowed herself to be tugged along by her best friend into the domain of this tree. From underneath, it was almost difficult to see what lay outside their little sanctuary depending on where one stood. It felt like they were in their own little world.

The rest of the school were out at Hogsmede this weekend, leaving them behind to a relatively empty castle grounds.
"Because, every time I imagine it, we're always here. Right here."

"Oh... okay?"

Aliona nodded resolutely, as if the shaky reply she received were a complete affirmative.
"Okay. Now, I'm going to say something, and you can't interrupt me."

"I've long since learnt it's impossible to interrupt a Scouser, Alls, no less you."

"Shut up, that's strike one."

Trudy laughed, "is it a points system?"

"Yes."

Trudy grinned and mimed zipping her lips shut and locking them with a key. Aliona put her hands on her hips and waited for the shorter girl to throw away the 'key,' before she could begin.

"I need you to stick with me okay? Because what I say is going to be confusing, and you might be upset with me, or angry, or... I don't know."
Trudy kept her promise of no words but her eyes were wide with concern.
"Do you remember that night in sixth year when you told me you loved me?"
Trudy nodded, frowning.
"I said no, and I felt so guilty, I was adamant I'd made the right choice, but then I began dreaming about you. You were drowning, and I was swimming through storms to save you. It was in the Black Lake, actually. But then, only after you'd begun dating Ozma did I realise that what I was really feeling was regret, not guilt. Because I did love you when you asked, and by then it was too late. But I wanted you to be happy so I watched you be with her, and I watched you fight, and fall out and I never wished you would break up, because as long as you're happy then so was I. I tried to distract myself with anything else that would help me forget, but ultimately everything comes back to you."

The look in Trudy's eye had previously been that of concern, wide and milky brown, but now they were on fire.
"Trudy, I don't know if you still feel the same right now, or if you ever will. I don't know if I'm a year too late, but I just want you to know that I love you. I have all this time. All this time."

Aliona silently thanked Marlene. At Christmas time, the Head Girl had offered her a favour, and today Aliona had cashed in.
From the pocket of her robe, she produced a small box that Marlene had retrieved from Hogsmede that morning. It was a silver ring, one that had a little cluster of stars across the top. It was a promise ring.

"I'll get down on one knee if you like, but I don't think promise rings are like that. Anyway, this is a promise ring. And I'm promising to never lie to you again, never be too scared to admit the truth, and to love you for as long as you'll let me."

The wind blew up a few apple blossoms into Aliona's hair and Trudy took a tentative step forward to pick them out. They were standing dangerously close.

"You can unlock your lips now."

They laughed together as Trudy toyed with the flower she'd picked from Aliona's hair.
Eventually she spoke up:
"You know I was adamant that I was completely over you until Ozma told me that I was still in love with you? You can't imagine how embarrassing it is to be told that by your girlfriend. But she made alright. She hugged me goodbye, and told me to go and get you whenever I was ready. She told me I deserved to have a chance with 'the one that got away.' I didn't realise she was right until afterwards, because Alls, you are my 'one that got away.' And I do still love you, I'm not sure I ever stopped."

The apple blossoms seemed to understand as the wind passed through them and they whistled and danced in the sough.
With shaking fingers, Aliona gave Trudy the ring, hers. That's what it meant, they were each other's.

"Shall I kiss you now or later?"

"Definitely now."

♣ ♣ ♣

(29th April 1978 continued)

James saw two girls escape from behind the apple blossom tree, hand in hand and giggling with delight. It didn't take him long to recognise them as Trudy and Aliona. They were holding hands like they were the only two people left on earth.

It was strange, James ruminated, how happy he was at seeing this– them. Spending so much time with Aliona recently had made him oddly protective over her, and seeing her finally happy filed him with a honeyed joy, the sort that liquidises through one's bloodstream.

The two girls ran towards the quidditch pitch, still laughing and tugging each other's arms, but never letting go. It was adolescent, young, stupid, love and it made James' heart swell, but it also made him impossibly sad. Seeing Aliona finally get Trudy made him wonder what it was he might be doing wrong.

That night in the room of requirement, himself and Aliona had each shared with each other their one impossible wish; her's was Trudy, his was Lily. But her wish had come true, the impossible had happened, and now James was left out in the rain as it were.

Maybe nothing really is impossible?

Remus had told James that his entitlement held him back, the guilt, the pressure to undo all of his past mistakes.
He'd told Lily about them– the things he's done, the way he used to behave, and Lily forgave him, told him it didn't matter to her because of who he is now. He had bared all of himself to Lily for her to reject.

But perhaps that's the problem?

Lily had not done the same, not yet. She'd confided in him about things she hadn't told anyone else, but even then she was lying.
James supposed their friendship was built on the foundation of lies. He lied to her about his school, about his magic; and Lily lied about her name, and about her magic.

The difference was that James knew her biggest lie. Her deepest secret. He knew her as Lily Evans, a witch living in secret, and he loved her anyway. Perhaps if she knew that lying was futile, she might feel differently about the burden of the truth to hold her back, perhaps she might love him then?

It was only as he thought this that he realised just how deeply he wanted this. He had always known that he loved Lily, the realisation that it will only ever be her was a slow one, it wasn't a flicked switch but it was built over time, and back then he wasn't sure what to do with all the love. Now everything was different. Now he truly wants to fight for her, because without the lies to hold them back, won't they just be two people, ready to finally fall in love?

♣ ♣ ♣

(30th April 1978)

The wooden floor of the Boy's Dormitory was flooded with parchment, ink and textbooks. The Marauders Map also spread out on the floor for reasons unbeknownst to the boys currently occupying the room. It must have been taken out earlier in the day for some light pranking and not been put away.

NEWTS were apparently coming up and it was all any teacher was talking about and so the marauders had begrudgingly given up and decided to open their textbooks in the hope of 'decent job prospects' as Peter put it.

The only marauder not benefitting from this study session was Remus. Recovering from a full moon was always a painful process but this particular month it also involved a lot of grouchiness.
"Will you cut that out, Padfoot! It's like a pea-souper in here!"

Sirius pouted, the cigarette between his fingers emitting a stream of smoke that he hadn't noticed was filling the room rather nastily with the hazy guise of fog around the room.
"Shut it, Moony! I enjoy a fag while I do my homework!"

"While you're enjoying a fag I can't see my bloody homework!" James chimed, as he reached across the floor and snatched the cigarette; he took a puff before vanishing it with a swish of his wand.

"Away and open a window, love, it's like Dickens' London in here!" Remus waved his hand awkwardly from his bed, attempting to shift some of the smoke.

Peter huffed and ventured over to the window.
"You know, mate, you could have just smoked the damn thing with the window open in the first place."

"Oh no!" James said sarcastically, "because that would be –what's the word again?– ah yes: logical."

"Fuck you all."

"Not my type."

"James, you aren't even revising!"

"I was!" He gestured to the astronomy charts, "I'm taking a break to strategise for the cup final. It's a big game."

Sirius nodded his head in agreement and Peter hummed, a quill between his teeth. Remus, however, looked thoughtful.

"What, Moony?"

"No, I just find it funny, how you have a thing about entitlement, and yet you work for everything you get."

"What does he mean?" Peter asked, curiously, ears pricked like a mouse.

"We talked about this the other day. Though pray tell, Mr Moony."

"You have a vendetta against being handed things in life, but when you break it down, what have you actually been handed that you didn't deserve or didn't work hard to earn? The quidditch cup? Head Boy? Your grades? In truth, none of these things were given to you when you didn't deserve them, and you've worked for each one. So why you still hold on to who you were in fourth year I will never know."

James watched, astounded, as Remus simply went back to reading his notes, an enchanted quill underlining where he pointed occasionally.
How does he do that? Remus had a talent for saying something so raw that it struck him down without so much as a raised eyebrow. He was right, of course, James was still attached to his way of thinking, but it made him wonder: would he deserve Lily if he fought for her? If he earned her? Is that all it took?

James's eyes drifted back up to Remus who had Sirius standing behind him, looking over his shoulder at the arithmancy notes spread along his four poster.

"Merlin above," he said, "that would give your arse a sore head."

"I think that's the point. Making sense isn't a thing in arithmancy. That's what makes it interesting."

Sirius shook his head, stray pieces of hair falling loose from the bun he'd tied with his wand.
"How can that be the point."

"Just because."

"You amaze me."

"And you mildly irk me. Go study, my love."

James smirked to himself, not daring to look up from his plans so Sirius wouldn't see the joy pulling at his lips.

Everything seemed so simple now, so easy.
If only astronomy were the same.

(30th April 1978)

"This essay is pretty solid, Lily, I don't know why you want me to check it over," Christian Steinfeld said in a confused sort of tone, accompanied by a little shrug as the two of them stood behind the counter at Indulge. They were working a shift that evening, accompanied by Alice who had taken it upon herself to bring her study resources, demanding Lily or Christian quiz her.

So far the arrangement seemed to be working decently well seen as nobody had come in or out the shop in nearly two hours.

"Because you did A-level History and I need a second opinion before the exam."

"The exam isn't until late May."

"Hush."

Christian shrugged, instead turning to the Biology flash cards Alice had given him, shuffling them before picking one out.
"What are alpha helices in proteins stabilised by?"
Alice frowned in concentration while Lily turned her nose up.
"Not a fan of science?" He whispered, she shook her head.

Alice was busy writing her answer and thankfully did not see the look Lily was wearing at the mere thought of biology.

"GCSE destroyed me," she whispered.

"Fair enough. I did A-level physics. Never again."

They shared a laugh just as Alice looked up from her notepad.
"Next one?"

"You've been through them all, I think. It's been nearly two hours."

Alice frowned, well gimme the cards so I can correct myself."
Christian handed her the set of cards wordlessly.

"Has it really been two hours?" Lily ran a hand through her hair, pulling on the ends so they hid her face.
"I am so fucked."

The stress of exams had accidental magic much more prone to occur around her recently, and nothing seemed to be helping, except maybe for the little charm necklace she wore. Perhaps she'd accidentally charmed it because it somehow seemed to heat up on her collarbone whenever magic was threatening to escape from every pore in her body.

"How so?"

"Because German is kicking my arse already and I've barley started revising. My oral exam is much earlier than the rest, meaning I've got less time to prepare." Being stuck behind the counter wasn't doing her much good either but she didn't tell Christian that..

"If it's any consolation, you needn't worry about History."

"It won't stop me regardless."

The golden ball on her collar began to heat up.
"Sorry," Lily whispered, making a beeline for the staff bathrooms.

Nothing she could see was amiss when she looked in the mirror, it must have just been a close call, but magic had been a much more present thing in her life in the past months. Sometimes, a few years ago, magic was so scarce that Lily would lie awake at night and wonder if she was growing out of it; if maybe she'd imagined the whole thing; or that the idea of magic was simply fading from her life. There were times when she thought maybe she was insane...

Once the necklace's burning had subsided, Lily checked the clock and realised her shift had finished. With one last thank you to Christian for looking over her essay, she left Indulge with Alice.

"So, what about the location?"

"What?"

"You've decided everything about this wedding apart from where you're having it."

Alice shrugged, linking her arm with Lily as they strolled up the street, it was fairly quiet this time of day.
"Well my grandma and Frank's parents want us to get married in a church and after everything they've done to help, I can't see why that's a bad idea. It would be quite nice to be married in a church, plus gran said my parents were married in one too."

Lily smiled, pulling her arm around Alice and squeezing tightly, "they would be so proud, Alice. So proud."
Alice never knew her parents, but sometimes it didn't stop her from missing them.

"I know."

They walked in a comfortable silence for a few seconds. The night was warm, and Lily felt her magic slowing, ebbing back to a distant heartbeat.

"We're thinking of having the rest of the day in Frank's garden. Paula takes so much pride in that garden, she looks for an excuse to show it off everyday."

Paula, Frank's mother, was where he got his passion for gardening. It wasn't uncommon to see them out together on the weekends, pottering about with all sorts of flowers and plants. Having their wedding reception in the Longbottom's garden was a perfect idea.

"Oh Alice, that's fantastic. Me and Dorcas will be there to help you set up on the day."

"Thank you, Lily. You really are the best friend anyone could ask for."

Lily laughed, "I'm trying to stay modest."

"And I'll tell you, there's something gotten into you recently. You're hopping around like you've found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow."

A thrill ran through Lily at this. Perhaps Alice was right.
And everything changed.

♥ ♥ ♥

(30th April 1978 continued)

It was commonly known that Vernon Dursley was –according to Lily's expert testimony– the very definition of a self important coxcomb that couldn't tell his arse from his elbow. She would often to describe him this way to her parents, and Martin would attempt to cease his youngest daughter's comments but he would always do so with a small smile.

None of the Evans family expected Vernon to last long with Petunia; they surmised that eventually one would outwear the other and it would end in tears, but at least it would end.

Which is why it caused such a grand commotion when Petunia Evans announced she was soon to become Petunia Dursley. They were getting married.

Upon arriving home it appeared that Lily had missed the grand announcement, only catching the tail end of the conversation (which upset did not surprise Lily that her sister did not deem her important enough to wait for before she announced her engagement). Despite this, her first thoughts were of course to convince Petunia to see sense: arrogant, pernicious, bastards do not make good husbands. But her parents seemed to be doing a good job of stressing this point already.

When Lily entered the living room, Faith had her mouth nearly wide open, gaping like Petunia has just shot a kitten and not announced she was getting married.
Martin seemed to be moments away from spontaneous combustion. His nostrils were flared, his mouth set in a thin line, and his eyebrows were lost somewhere in his greying-red hair.

Lily spared her first look at Petunia to see something she was not at all expecting: her older sister looked anxious. Clearly she had been expecting their parents to take the news with open arms and champagne (which would imply she did not know her parents at all, Lily thought to herself), but instead they had reacted the complete opposite, leaving Petunia verging on heartbreak.

In the past, Lily might have laughed, or reacted a similar way to her parents, but recently she was finding just how much had changed. She was not the same person that was scared of her own shadow, of her own magic, and her own person. She was Lily Evans, someone knew, and wholly better.

So instead, Lily walked over to Petunia, tapped her on the shoulder and smiled when she turned.
"Congratulations Tuney. I'm so happy for you!" Lily whispered lowly, so their parents didn't hear.

Caught off guard, Petunia gaped at Lily as if she'd just spat bubbles and not spoken words.
Her watery blue eyes did something akin to sparkle; they did not quite have the capacity to sparkle properly, but the did shine, or maybe gleam.
"Thank you, Lily. I..."

She shrugged, causing Petunia to fall silent.
"It's never too late to start again, you know? Never."

Petunia nodded once more, the shine in her eye now filled with tears she was trying to hide.

♥ ♥ ♥

(1st May 1978)

Lily watched James' hand as it lay beside her, like a silent invitation. They sat together in her bedroom, looking through a folder of Lily's newest photos she had developed that week.

They took turns at flipping the pages, and when it was her turn, James left his right hand redundant beside hers, inches away from the book. It was be so wonderfully easy just to slip her hand into his, but she daren't.

Sometimes Lily would comment on a picture, other times she would leave them so ponder it themselves. There was a strange electricity that associated itself with these particular pages, the ones they left in silence, it thrummed behind Lily's ears, like a second heartbeat, in time with the magic flaring at the bottom of her chest. It hardly left these days.

"You like this one, don't you?" James asked in the soft voice he used when they shared moments like this. Over the months, Lily had become accustomed to several versions of James, but a contented, soft James Potter was the one she fell in love with most. She loved him most in the depths of comfortable quiet, and peace. She loved him most when they did nothing at all, there was not an adventure that they had to take in order for her to change her mind.

"This picture?" She replied, her own voice a soft midway between a whisper and a murmur.

"We've been staring at it particularly long. I think it's beautiful, but perhaps that's just me. I don't know awfully much about it."

She chuckled, her voice still caught in the back of her throat.
"I was just thinking."

"Thinking." The word seemed to roll off his tongue, gentle and alluring.

"Thinking."

"If one thinks one must reach conclusions."

"Must they?"

James grinned at her, still soft and languid. She had seen him grin many times, arrogant, mirthful, puckish, bashful. But somehow this might have been her favourite. The sudden urge to snap his picture and keep the moment forever struck Lily.
"Don't move," she said, reaching for her Polaroid camera.

He did as he was told, if so a little confused.
"Shortstop?" he warned, even his frown was soft.

"I want to take your picture. Pretend I'm not here."

"Now that, is truly impossible."

The languorous smile returned for a flicker of a second but it was enough for Lily to press the shutter and display a grin of her own.

"See?" She held the newly developed photo out to him, "aren't you beautiful?"

"Don't, shortcake, my ego is a beast."

"Lethal," she agreed, "but I like testing its limits."

At this James' soft grin widened to one of delight.
"I love nothing if not a challenge, love."

"Me too."

"What a pair we make," he mused and Lily felt her insides take leave of their posts to flutter around. A fleet of butterflies burst from nowhere to surround her stomach which was surely where her liver should be.

A flicker past through James' eyes as he watched her, but Lily missed only one beat before she nodded as turned the page of the album.
"Did I tell you that Alice is thinking of wildflowers for her wedding?"

The moment was gone but not completely. Like a candle burning at the end of its wick, or a lightbulb that fades to a glow before it perishes.
A fire at its last embers.

♥ ♥ ♥

(1st May 1978 continued)

When James left that night it was easy to know there was something different between them. Something unspoken but ready to flutter over like a waterfall at the first sign of the dam breaking.

After they got to the end of the album, James had pulled a cigarette from a box in his pocket and she had snatched it from between his teeth.
"I swear I haven't had one in days!" He had protested but she refused to yield. Surprisingly. James did not argue, but rather dismissed the matter with a smile, "honestly Tinker-bell, the things I do for you."

It was only now, that she thought back at the night's toils that she really noticed what he'd said. When Lily first began confronting him about his smoking habits, he had assured her that he'd been trying to quit long before she put her two cents in, but now? The things I do for you. Was it possible he was giving up cigarettes for her? It certainly appeared to be the case.

Another familiar swell pulled it's way through her chest, like a string being pulled through every cell in her body, but it was warm, and glittering, and wholly beautiful.
Her attention was suddenly drawn to the Polaroid on her bedside table– it was glowing.

Standing, Lily went to retrieve it and unsurprisingly, it was the picture she had taken of James earlier that night.

And just like that all the pieces slid into place.

It was James.

That was what was stirring her magic. Ever since he had come into her life, magic had stirred wherever she went. Before him, a small part of her feared that her magic was fading, slipping through her fingertips; but his entrance had changed everything. Be it frustration, anger, laughter, sadness, sympathy, delight, or love, everything invoked a magical reaction. It was him. Of course it was.

It was now, in that second, that Lily decided what her fate would be.

I do. I love him.

And everything changed.

She thought about her magic, the flowers, the doe, everything else. Then she thought about James, how he had helped change her, no longer scared of her magic, no longer afraid of standing out; no longer living in malicious, visceral silence.

Once –what felt like years ago– Lily had told James that it was only fair on each of them if they waited for each other to become the person they had to be in order to love how they deserved. Perhaps she had been ready the day she met him, she just didn't realise it. The strength she'd always had, James had found.

On their very first meeting, Lily had referred to herself as Lily Simpson, the first lie. Perhaps, subconsciously, she had known, even then, just how much this boy was going to help change her life. Perhaps she knew and was simply too scared to allow him to, and so she sought to become someone else.

Well no more. She was who she should be now anyway. Despite the obstacles she had put up, James had still found his way in to help her. And so she would take them down, she would allow herself to be the very thing she had pushed down since she was eleven; the thing she had feared and missed when it left her.

And everything changed.

Lily had introduced herself as Lily Simpson. She was not. She had introduced herself as normal. She was not.

Magic thrummed in the air, the Polaroid glowed in her hands, illuminating a smiling James.

Her name was Lily Evans. It was time she earned it...

A long and eventful chapter. Things start to move fast from now on so buckle up.

Please let me know what you think might happen now Lily's decided to tell James everything. How will he react? How much will she tell him? I love hearing your theories and it's not long before it's time to find out if anyone was right!

Lots of love,

Abbi♥️