This chapter is dedicated to the lovely goldwithsilverxox for her overwhelming support of me and Alicia's stories!
Love you ♥️♥️♥️

(29th March 1978)

James' life was full of mysteries. He figured everybody's was. But for him, the mystery that would plague him all his life, was the day he first began falling in love with Lily Evans.

It had been a slow process. Perhaps it had begun the day he'd allowed her to outdrink him in front of their friends; perhaps it was the day she'd sat with him on the church roof the day of his mother's funeral; perhaps it was the day he realised who she truly was– when she'd made flowers appear beneath her shoes as she ran across the meadow; perhaps, even, it was as early as the day her name was called in their sorting assembly, the day James Potter vowed never to forget Lily Evans, and perhaps one day, show her the magical world she'd missed out on.

It was possible he would never know when the epic journey to love began. But no matter where it had started, James knew for a fact it ended here, on this ramp, in a skatepark in Cokeworth. They watched the sky paint them a view as the moon smiled down on them, and Lily had been watching him when she thought he didn't know. Every time she looked away he would smile, and watch her blush. Perhaps it didn't matter when, or where, he had started falling in love with her, only that he finished here, now. In this moment, seeing her freckled cheeks blush, and her emerald eyes glitter when they met his, he realised that he loved her. Fully and completely. James realised that perhaps he'd loved her a long time. It might forever remain a mystery, but he would have to make his peace with that.

"What is it?" She had asked, her red hair shining in the low evening light. She was smiling softly and he could see her dimples.

"Nothing," he said. Though he could have told her a million things. But he loved her, so he chose not to. "Just you."

The first mystery might have been when James Potter began loving Lily Evans, but now his next mystery would be what to do about it...

(29th March 1978)

The first time Lily and James found themselves at the skatepark, Lily was living in silence and James was barely living at all.
They lay on their backs, on the highest ramp, legs dangling over the side, and watching the sky move arbitrarily.

Lily could feel the silence pulse in the back of her mind, every now and again, like a pain that hadn't healed, or a memoir left unfinished, a book still open on the table.
But lying in the skatepark with James represented the beginning of the end for that period on her life, because after that day she'd found the courage to stop it. To break the silence that was once so thick she couldn't see the other side. And though her mother still drank, and her father still cried, it wasn't the same. Because of him.

He was smiling at her now, like she was the most amazing sunset he'd ever seen, and without thinking about it, she smiled at him.
"What is it?" She asked, her voice sounded odd to her own ears, like it was far away from this moment.

"Nothing," was his languorous reply, "just you."

Neither of them spoke for the next little while, more than content to sneak glances at each other as they watched the sky turn from blue to purple. The gibbous moon peered over at them, despite the stars not yet having appeared, and Lily was grateful for its presence. Perhaps the moon was there to watch them, two teenagers, falling unknowingly in love.

♥ ♥ ♥

(29th March 1978 continued)

He needed to go. She knew he needed to go. He'd told her so, and yet he never seemed to be in any rush.

They'd walked home together, arm in arm, his jacket round her shoulders to keep her warm from the slight chill that followed the abendrot in late March, and when they reached her front door they both stopped.

"Lily," he said, and she got the impression that he didn't have an end to that particular sentence.

They stopped walking, and instead faced each other, Lily tilted her head up to see him properly, his was tilted down. They way he was looking at her was different. His eyes were still a magnificent hazel, and they still had an air of mayhem and diablerie but the way in which his eyes changed when they connected to hers did not feel the same as it always had. The change was slight and yet she could feel it in the depths of her being. She did not shy away.

They stood close together, listening to the birds singing, and she hadn't realised she was looking at his lips until they were closer to her than she'd realised. She was on the tips of her toes, hands wrapped around his neck. She could feel James' breath, uneven on her face, mingling with her own arrhythmic breaths.

Kissing James was probably a bad idea. But she'd done it before, and the memory hadn't soured, no matter how much she thought about it, and so she leaned closer.
The last time they'd kissed, he'd tasted like whiskey, she wondered if this time it would be different?

She could almost taste some sort of mint when a loud crash startled them both and they hastily jumped apart.

"Don't even bother with going inside!"

Lily and James looked up to see Petunia Evans storm out the house, slamming to door behind her as she addressed Lily, totally ignoring the presence of James.

"Go and stay with Cassie or whatever your friend is called. I'm going 'round Vern's."

Petunia did not spare a glance to see if Lily had followed her advice but there was nearly three feet between her and James by that point regardless.

"Sorry," Lily choked once her sister had rounded the corner and was out of sight, "she does that."

If James was as shaken as she felt then he didn't seem to show it, instead he ran a hand through his hand and ruffled it, the other stuffed firmly in his pocket as if he were trying to lose it there.
"S'alright. You don't have to tell me about drama queens, I live with Sirius."

"All jokes aside," she gestured to the door, failing to meet his gaze, "I should go and see what she's lost the place about."

Frowning, James nodded, "yeah, yeah of course. I'll um... I'll see you soon, yeah?"

"Of course!"

They stared at each other for half a second before she looked away and he coughed, ruffling his hair up again and rubbing his neck.

Just as Lily got to the door, James called her name. When she turned he's was already jumped the gate.

"Yes?"

He was smiling softly, "whatever's in there, you can handle it."

His blind faith in her was reassuring.
"I know."

With one final wave she turned away, pushing aside what had nearly happened in favour of what might lie inside.

♥ ♥ ♥

(29th March 1978 continued)

Upon entry, things didn't seem out of the ordinary. The coat rack still sat at an awkward angle, the phone book was still precariously close to falling off the little table it sat on, and the stairs ahead of her were still missing enough carpet to reach the bottom stair.

It was only when she ventured further that it became clear what was happening. In the living room, Faith Evans sat alone, staring at the tv– which had been switched off. There was no way of knowing how long her mother had been like this, be it ten minutes of two hours, Lily could guarantee her mother would look the same.
In her hand was an empty whiskey glass, and by Lily's estimate, behind the arm of the sofa was a quarter bottle of vodka.

Lily was tired of addressing it. She was sick of bursting in, ripping the glass out her mothers hands and screaming and crying with rage while Faith undoubtedly said nothing. Lily was run to the bone of trying to cause a scene whenever this happened– Petunia, it appeared, was not– and perhaps that made her older sister a better person, but when Lily saw Faith in that state, it was difficult not to be bored with it. No matter how long it had been since the last time, a small part of Lily will always expect it to happen again. No part of her will ever be surprised.

In the past, she might have stormed in. But she'd tried that. She'd tried throwing the glass, and letting her magic run riot around her as she lost control. It had brought abstruse, indestructible silence.
She had tried being patient. She'd tried cleaning the glass, sitting next to her mother and allowing her to stroke her hair. It hadn't worked.

Lily had tried so many things over the years and now she was sick of it. So instead she walked deliberately past her mother in the living room, and instead went up the stairs in search of her father.

She found Martin Evans in his office, next to the master bedroom, his head in his hands, elbows resting on the desk.

"Dad," She entreated, carefully as not to startle him.

Martin looked up, and upon seeing his youngest daughter he smiled weakly.
"Hey, Tink, what's up?"

"With me?"

Martin shrugged and leaned back in his chair as he gesticulated for her to come in. Lily did just that and closed the door gently behind her.

Martin Evans was a lightly built man, in his forties. His hair was only slightly darker than Lily's but his eyes were a caramel brown. He kept most his secrets in his eyes, but many also lay in his shoulders where they would drop with worry.

"Dad?" Lily said again, this time more of a question.

"Your mother is ill. That's all. Sometimes we fight about it, Tink."

Lily sat on the edge of her father's desk, watching him carefully. He had called her Tink after the fairy when she was little. It was clear this had hurt him more than he was allowing her to see.

"What you need to understand is that I love your mum more than life itself, and I know she loves me. Which is why it's so hard to swallow when she does her best to make us forget why that is."

Lily knew what he meant. Growing up, her parents had always been in love, no matter what. They'd flirt on the couch in the evenings, when Lily snuck downstairs after being put to bed; they would dance in the kitchen together while one of them tried to make dinner; and her father would always bring flowers home for her mother on a Friday afternoon when he got home from work. When Lily was young, that was the household she was used to.

But after Lily turned eleven, and that letter arrived at her door, when Severus Snape told her she was special, and Albus Dumbledore paid them a visit, things began to change. Friday flowers became payday treats, then apologies. The radio was broken and nobody had tried to fix it, so dancing in the kitchen stopped. And of course there was Faith's drinking. That's when it had begun.

Though even then, Lily knew her parents still loved each other. No matter how bad their arguments got, it wasn't long before she heard them flirting in front of the television, or sharing one of Martin's cigars. Things were different, but love remained the same.

Lily watched Martin as she registered this. He was looking at one of the picture frames on his desk. This one in particular was of Martin and a pregnant Faith together, with a little blonde Petunia sitting on Martin's knee on the hammock in the garden, the very same one that broke three years ago and still hadn't been mended. Lily supposed it was fitting.

"Your mother," he said, "often does the wrong thing. And it disappoints us all, especially your sister, but we carry on loving her anyway, and it allows for a safety net that we'll still love her every time, no matter what she does. But... telling her these things isn't always easy."

Lily nodded, though she wasn't entirely sure her father was speaking to her as much as he was himself.

"She'll lie, she'll scream and put up a fight. And occasionally," he looked up, right into Lily's eyes and beyond, "occasionally she'll go silent. But if we weren't here, then there would be no-one to scream at, and to fight with. The silence would make no difference. And so we have to be here. So we are."

Only now was Lily beginning to understand. It had always been a mystery to her, why Martin had put up with such a life all these years. Why he'd accepted such a love for so long?
It was because he knew no different. No life without Faith's love, no matter what it looked like.

"Dad?" Lily ventured.

"Yes, Tink?"

"Do you ever wonder if you made the right choice? To be with mum?"

"I made the right choice."

"How do you know?"

Taking her hand in his, Martin began attempting to answer a question he might have wondered over himself if it weren't so clear to him now.
"Well first of all, loving your mother was never a choice. It was always there, I just chose not to ignore it. Maybe it would have been easier to forget it, and walk away. But I'd rather be here, with you, your sister, and what's left of Faith and I. I don't think I'd be happy enough to live not knowing what it was like to have this life. That's how I know."

Lily nodded, smiling, and attempting to make sense of his meaning.
"For the record, I'm glad you're here."

Martin nodded, holding his daughters hand tightly, even after she stood up.
"I'm glad too."

When she left the room, he still felt the warmth of her hand, clinging to him, to adolescence, to peace.

♥ ♥ ♥

(29th March 1978 continued)

As Lily lay in bed, the more time she had to think and the more time she spent not sleeping.
Everything was a mystery at some point. Her parent's love was always somehow mysterious, how it could remain despite the world conspiring against it. Lily swore to herself she didn't want that sort of love. She's sworn it to James on New Years Night.

Her mother's life was a mystery, how she could have so much in her head that would never reach her lips. How the only thing to her so far was a glass of anything, laced with something else foul smelling.
And what had happened earlier with James was a mystery too. What might have been if Petunia hadn't chosen that moment to burst out, if instead she'd waited five minutes, five seconds, and Lily's whole perception of love might be new. She didn't know. She couldn't. That was what mysteries were all about. It was in the name after all.

That night, later, when Lily felt lonely and attempted to summon the blue wisps, or the doe, they felt too far away to reach, as if they were buried underground, just beneath her fingertips. Another mystery, slipping away from her.

♥ ♥ ♥

(30th March 1978)

Frank hadn't commented on the redness of Lily's eyes when she saw him the next day. Christian hadn't known her well enough to notice the difference between good concealer and genuine sleep.
The three of them sat in Indulge together, Christian behind the counter, Lily and Frank on the other side, sipping a latte each, though Lily was only on her break.

There was a newspaper left open at the front page on the work top and all three of them bunched round to read it.

MISSING BOY, 11 IN YORKSHIRE: LITTLE SISTER 'DIDNT HEAR A THING'

"Have you read this?" Frank asked morbidly, his eyebrows set as he picked up the paper and shook it, hearing the crisp pages rustle.

Christian nodded, wordlessly. It was becoming common place to see another missing child, they went nearly every week now, and every single time, the public would act surprised.

Lily however, could never let it go. Ever since the missing cases began when she was ten or eleven, each disappearance felt like another push towards something she could almost feel between her fingers but could never completely grasp. Something was always missing from the articles, one detail.

"Not much point reading it anyway, maybe," Frank shrugged and slid the paper away from their view, "it's always the same when they go missing."

Lily was only half listening, because she was busy paying attention to another person that has just come in the shop. He was forgettable in a way that seemed a little bit too obvious and Lily did her best not to wonder where she recognised him.

But there were too many mysteries in her life, so she put this one aside and tried to slip back into her conversation. The mysteries could wait.

(30th March 1978)

Jasmine Sempere and Lucas McKinnon sat together in Lucas' office space, gathering their materials before going to the room of requirement to meet the MPP and discuss their findings.
Jasmine was tidying the mess she'd made at his desk with several flicks of her wand while Lucas made it his task to carry all the parchment alongside both their mugs of coffee.

"We don't need the coffee, Luke," she deadpanned without even needing to look at him.

Jazzy was the only person aside from Marlene whoever called him Luke. She'd done it once by accident when they were in second and third year respectively and he'd allowed her to do so ever since.
"Of course we do. It's coffee."

"It's irrelevant."

Lucas caught her eye and she turned around and offered her his prize puppy-dog face. She softened only slightly.
"Alright, but give me the files– I'm not having you stain coffee all over classified information. And don't spill any! Especially any of mine."

"Yes, mother."

Jazzy rolled her eyes, "you know you like it, you masochist."

"Fuck you!"

"Maybe I will."

Jasmine had already turned and headed out the door, luckily she hadn't seen him turn a bright, apple red.

♣ ♣ ♣

(30th March 1978 continued)

Upon seeing the Aurors enter, James smiled brightly, standing up to reintroduce them.
"Right so, for those old enough to remember, these faces will be familiar, but this is Jasmine Sempere: former Hufflepuff head girl, and Lucas McKinnon: former Gryffindor wanker."

"Oi!"

James winked and Marlene snorted out the tea she had been drinking.

"Anyway, they're here as aurors working on Mary's attack. And since Mary is getting out of hospital next week, we want to sort this out for her. So, we're working with these guys to help out. Some of our older members helped out earlier and so will be familiar with the work that Jazzy and Lucas have been doing, but for those that aren't, I'll allow the two of them to explain," James gestured towards the two aurors and gave them both a nod.

"Alright then," Lucas clapped his hands and Jasmine smiled politely at her audience. Lucas had always found it comical how she could be so razor sharp and cutting in private, and so cordial and amiable in proper company.

"So we'll start with the basics. This was a planned attack. This is obvious not only from a secondary testimony offered to us," Jasmine glanced at Sirius who nodded from his spot on the couch next to James, "but also by the extreme precision in the efforts used to cover this action's tracks. I'm due back at the Auror's Snatcher Taskforce Office today to discuss the new missing case anyway, so I'm going to pick up some things to help me better understand the possibility that the memory charm used on Mary is the same to the one used in snatcher cases." She handed off smoothly to Lucas, taking a small step back, further away from his side and leaving the air behind her cold.

"As for potential suspects. We have a few, however we cannot interview these people without an approval from Dumbledore. All four of our suspects are over seventeen, which means we do not need to send word home, or to have the presence of their Head of House there in the interview. This is potentially a win for us, however we thought it was only fair we speak to those in here, and Mary first. Because, even if we don't have to send an official letter to these suspect's parents, they may very well write themselves and unfortunately, all of these people have parents and high places."

"Why does that matter?" A careful looking redheaded Gryffindor girl, around third year, asked.

"Well it might matter to you because this might mean you have these esteemed members of magic society speaking out against this club. And it might potentially make things worse for Mary to have this too."

"So you're asking if it's worth it?" Ozma Periwinkle asked.

"We're asking if Mary thinks it's worth it. And if you think it's worth it."

Aliona held up her hand, face set in determination.
"May I?"

Lucas nodded and allowed her to take the floor. Aliona took no further encouragement in standing up.
"I for one think it's worth it. When I was attacked, we knew exactly who it was, and he only faced the threat of expulsion. As did the girl who was only trying to keep this school safe. I think this time around, if we do things correctly, then we can find a way to bring justice to Mary and to send a message to Kieron Mulciber that he was lucky to get away with this."

Marlene grinned, "I mean technically he still has burn marks on his arm from where I basically dunked it in acid. Plus, I saw his quidditch jersey come up in a game once, and he's got some pretty fucked up ugly scars from what Trudy did to him."

"Fuck yeah!"

James lunched over the couch to hush Esme-Leigh who was nearly whooping with delight.
"We don't condone violence... in front of law authority, Ez."

"Boring."

"Alright so the vote from the MPP is to go for it and interview?" Lucas asked, once again commanding the attention of the group.
Generally, they all nodded.

"Alright then, we'll talk to Mary. But I really need to go to the Taskforce meeting."

James nodded, "tell Millard and my dad I say 'hi,' will you?"

Jasmine nodded before leaving with Lucas in tow.
"Alright then, that'll be all for today. Remember if you see something that can't wait until next Friday, then use your badge to communicate."

As the Magical Prejudice Protection began to clear out the room, James allowed himself to flop down on a sofa next to Aliona and let out a huff.
"Being important is fucking exhausting."

She chuckled, ruffling his hair, "tell me about it."

♣ ♣ ♣

(30th March 1978 continued)

When the Gryffindor MPP members arrived back in the Common Room, Trudy Nott was waiting for them to give her a rundown of the meeting.
Ozma sat down next to her girlfriend and sighed. "It was important. The aurors have four suspects and we've decided we should let them be interviewed. Ultimately it's Mary's choice, though."

Trudy nodded, "even if these suspects have friends in high places?"

"Even if. We can't let that stop us."

Trudy agreed, kissing Ozma at the top of her cheekbone, her skin smelt like shea butter.
They sat together, sharing one of the armchairs in the common room for a while, enjoying their private company. However it was times like these that Trudy couldn't help but let her mind wander, to the things she could be doing, the help she could be elsewhere. Not being a part of the MPP had only made her desire to help worse, and so in moments of tranquil with her girlfriend, she never felt she could truly relax.

"Hey?"

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong?"

Trudy shrugged and averted her gaze from the deep brown, almost black, eyes of Ozma. There was something about her eyes that demanded the truth, and Trudy found she'd been able to look into them less and less recently.

"There's something. You can tell me."

"I know."

"So tell me?"

Sighing, Trudy decided to give up.
"It's Mary. I'm worried about her, and everything I'm not doing. And I know what you're going to say to me: you're going to tell me that I can't fix everyone's feelings and problems and pains... but I like to try."

Ozma finally caught Trudy's eye and smiled, taking her hand.
"I know you like to try, and you are. You were there when Mary woke up remember? And you'll continue to be there when she comes out the hospital wing, and you'll be the friend she needs. You always have been."

It was at times like these that Trudy wondered why she'd been fighting so frequently with Ozma. In truth, she was a wonderful girlfriend, perhaps just not for her. But in that moment it didn't matter, because Ozma was her girlfriend. And she was grateful for it.

"Thank you."

Ozma leaned over and kissed her girlfriends lips sweetly, "you'll be alright."

"And Mary?"

"Will be wonderful."

"Okay."

She wanted to believe it, and she wanted to believe that her and Ozma would be okay so. Perhaps she'd deluded herself with desire?

♣ ♣ ♣

(30th March 1978 continued)

Marlene watched James fill out a total of seventeen detention slips before she couldn't take it anymore. She burst out laughing.

Suddenly, the Head Boy's head shot up to fix her with a judgemental expression. They were sitting at opposite sides of the desk in their cramped office, tying up loose ends while they had the time. The fire was more of a decoration in the office during the spring months, it would still be lit, but no heat was ever emitted. The walls echoed with the licks of fire, creating shadows where the fire was brightest.

"What is wrong with you?"

"I'm laughing!"

James frowned, his glasses slipping down his scrunched nose.
"I can see that, genius. I'm asking why?"

Between giggles, Marlene managed to choke out a response.
"Because I logged those detentions last week! You've been going through the same pile!"

"You minx! And you just let me?!"

"It may appear that way, I suppose," Marlene shrugged, jumping back to raise her hands when James glared at her.

"You're lucky my mother raised me a docile little pureblood gentlemen, or I would enjoy ripping your spinal chord out from your throat."

Marlene fluffed up her hair and lent on one elbow, giving him comically dramatic love sick eyes, "tell me more, baby, I'm blushing!" She cried in a high pitched American accent.

At that James laughed, the accent really was tragically bad.
"Fuck off, McKinnon. This is all your fault."

"Don't you think the whole 'rip out your spleen' role was a little overkill for seventeen detention slips?"

"No."

"Grand."

"Well can I get the real pile of slips then? So I can write one for myself ahead of time for ripping out your organs or whatever it was I said?"

Grinning puckishly, Marlene handed him the pile.
"You can finish the rest tomorrow," James spat with very little venom, "honestly there's about a hundred other places I'd rather be just now."

"Oh yeah? Rather be with your ginger girlfriend?"

James scoffed, "shut up McKinnon, you can't even tell your girlfriend you can make pens float, and blow them up... and... turn them into turtles."

"How fantastically put."

"You get my point."

It was then that James looked up from the detention slips, dropping his quill into his ink pot when he heard Marlene do the same from the other side of the table.
"Fine. I've not told her yet. I don't know why... I just can't. It's not something I can do."

"Sure it's is."

When Marlene shook her head, blonde beach waves fell around her shoulders, just as the band in her hair snapped.
"You don't get it. You don't see what I stand to lose."

He was about to argue when he realised she was right. Even if Lily allowed him to fall in love with her, as deeply as he already had, he still wouldn't have to deal with this. Because she was Lily Evans, and she already knew (though he hadn't told her that he knew). Marlene on the other hand, stood to lose. everything. She stood to lose the only girl she'd ever loved, and the whole life that went with it.

"No, I don't really. But I do see what you stand to gain." When Marlene said nothing, James continued. "Just think for a second, Mars, imagine that you tell Dorcas, and she takes it well, and you stay together? You can stop lying to her, you can stop hiding who you are from her, and you don't need to live like this– not knowing what she's going to say."

"But what if it goes the other way?"

"Then you've got us, don't you?"

Marlene met his eye and nodded, "I know I do."

"And we're not going anywhere."

They looked at each other or a second before James stood up, walked round the table and took Marlene's hand. They'd only just made it out the door when Marlene managed to ask where they were going.

"Cokeworth."

♣ ♣ ♣

(30th March 1978 continued)

When they appeared in the alleyway it was empty save for a dark figure rounding the corner, which the two of them paid no heed.

The house at the end of the street was shrouded in darkness save for one particularly familiar bedroom light.
Marlene McKinnon stared up at the aforementioned window, a critical look on her face as she stood in Lily's garden, one hand in her pocket and the other round James' arm.
"So you just climb up here?"

"Sure. It's not that dangerous, you're a quidditch player, Marlene."

Comically gesturing to the window, Marlene scoffed, "ahh yes, I forgot the part of quidditch where you get 200 points for climbing a fucking drainpipe!"

James bumped her hip with his own, "where did your sense of adventure go?"

"To hell with you!"

"Shut up and go first. That way if you fall I'll stay and catch you... and I promise not to look at your arse."

This caused a smile to spread across Marlene's red painted lips, "oh no you're free to look at my arse. I have an excellent one."

"I hope you're kidding."

Marlene did not dignify that with a response. Instead she took a small run at the drainpipe before latching onto it and beginning to climb.
"I wasn't joking about catching me. If I fall to my death here, remember my mother works in law."

"Remember she adores me."

"Little shit."

It only took her a few seconds longer than it usually took James to reach the top of the drainpipe, and when she did the window was almost immediately opened.
James followed up to see Marlene had already made her way inside and was embracing Dorcas Meadowes as tightly as humanly possible.

Lily stood in the middle of the room, watching him with a reticent expression. He grinned at the sight of her, and her beautiful smile, but he faltered only slightly when he saw the element of sadness behind the green of her eyes.
"Hey shortcake," he said, walking over to her, but she beat him there and wrapped her arms around his neck, her face disappearing into his chest. He daren't question what circumstance had led her here, only that he wanted, more than anything in the world, to make it go away.
They'd left each other on uncertain terms and so he wasn't sure where his place was in her world, and he was puzzling a way to tell her as much when he looked over her head to see Marlene and Dorcas watching him with matching expressions, raised eyebrows and cocksure smirks. Immediately his eyes widened and he attempted to untangle himself from Lily as gently as he dared. Then he made his way over to Dorcas, in order to greet her as well.

"Hey! If I knew you two were going to crash me and Lily's sleepover then I'd have brought more snacks!" She said with a light laugh, shooting Lily a worried look while her back was turned for James to see.

James patted Dorcas' shoulder before he registered what she'd said.
"You have snacks?"

When Lily snorted with laughter, somehow James still thought it was the best sound he'd ever heard. She wasn't looking at him and so he allowed himself the luxury of gazing at her. It felt dangerous to be doing such a thing, because he knew he loved her now and he had no idea how long for, so he wasn't sure just how deep it ran. But now everything she did felt loveable, and he could feel it crashing and burning somewhere in the near future.

It was Dorcas that pulled him out his thoughts, all of a sudden with a vague chuckle.
"Lils, if he's staying you'll be hung at the stake if your parents see him here."

"It's alright, we're not going to stay," Marlene reassured, "we're just..." at this moment, she caught eyes with James. They had come here with the intention of giving Marlene a chance to tell Dorcas everything. About magic, Hogwarts, herself. Everything.
But when they locked eyes, James recognised the look in her from all the times he'd worn exactly the same one. Marlene had seen Dorcas' smile, or heard her laugh, maybe felt her touch, and decided that she couldn't do it. Not yet, maybe not ever.

James understood, perhaps he was one of the only people who would, just in a completely different way. He nodded softly, so slight a movement that neither Lily or Dorcas noticed it. Marlene did.

(30th March 1978)

Spending time with Alice and Frank led to a flurry of emotions that Lily cared very little to address. They were at Alice's house, her grandmother was making them dinner while they worked through more details of Alice and Frank's wedding.

It was admirable, she supposed, how sure and in love they were. So undeniably assured that they could spend hours talking about colour schemes and still want to discuss it further if it meant having a 'perfect day.'

It seemed to be so easy for them, to simply be in love. There was never any question that what they'd stumbled into years ago was love, the real kind that romances are written about. It was always a sure fact, perhaps since the day they'd met it was written somewhere, in some large book of fate. If that were so, Lily wondered what was written on her page...

She hadn't said much for a while, allowing Alice and Frank to organise things themselves, occasional settling a squabble or casting a third vote, but aside from that, she had more than enough time to ruminate on whatever she pleased.

Recently it had become a small army of things that occupied her thoughts. For weeks she had been questioning a plethora of things. Her facade as Simpson; her life as a non-magical person; her life if she had been magical; her parents, how different they might have been. She'd thought about so many things, that one more didn't seem to be too big a deal. Nearly kissing James had perturbed her on several levels that she did not wish to address, the feelings she had been pushing down for so long has begun treading water at the surface, waiting patiently to come ashore.

And then there were Alice's words, 'what is it you really want?' And there were her parents, stuck in a love that was slowly tearing them apart. Was that what she was destined for? Was that what was written on her page in the book of fate? Was her damnation already written for her? All she needed to do was cast the play, and call action?

There were a thousand mysteries to ponder. Mysteries that may want to stay enigmatic for a while longer. But Lily thought. She wondered.

"Lily?"

It was Alice's voice that pulled her out the spiral. She was watching Lily with an air of concern, her honey eyes wide with kind concern.

"Yes?" Lily said, feigning delight at being pulled from her mysteries and fate.

"Are you alright?"

"Just... hungry," she replied, wondering if being hungry constituted exiting the planet momentarily to contemplate the mysteries of life.

Alice nodded, eyes narrowed, clearly unconvinced. "Well grandma has called for dinner, so we can easily solve that."
Without waiting for a response, she grabbed Lily's hand and hauled her into the air.

Sitting at Joyce Fortescue's dinner table, Lily wondered what mysteries Alice's grandmother carried. How she could keep the smell of the garden in summer inside the house, even during winter, how the fire never seemed to die in the cold nights, how nothing would ever burn or overheat in the kitchen. Joyce seemed to have a way of carrying herself through life, impervious to her fate and her mysteries. She was the type of lady that didn't care about much else than the simple things around her. It fascinated Lily, while also making her obscenely jealous. There was something fantastic in an abandon for the rest of the world. Fate wouldn't matter, mysteries would suit themselves, unsolved.

♥ ♥ ♥

(31st March 1978)

People love each other so openly, Lily realised, and there was something in that love that put them in constant danger. Loving so freely and recklessly allowed gaps of vulnerability everywhere, in one's heart, and their better judgment.

It wasn't just in the power to ruin that love, or to end it, or take it away, that vulnerability lay; it was also in the heartache of keeping those that you love at arms length, or stealing them while they still loved you.

Lily learnt this lesson in the night, when Marlene had come to see Dorcas, through the window, like James did. She was staying till late with Dorcas, finishing homework, when Marlene appeared and the look on her best friend's face was so full of childish, innocent joy that it was difficult not to feel a swell in one's chest.

Marlene stayed for two hours, and Lily pretended not to pay attention when they whispered in each other's ears, or shared clandestine kisses. But it was when she had to leave that Lily learnt her lesson.

She turned her back, and decided there was something interesting in her textbook as Dorcas sniffed back her tears, forehead rested on Marlene's.
"You promise me, please?"

"I promise," Lily heard Marlene reply, her voice thick and low in a choking whisper.

They said nothing for an extended period of time and Lily listened to the sound her pencil as it scratched along her paper.
She hadn't heard Marlene go. But when she did, Dorcas had begun to cry.

Lily took it as a queue to turn and wrap her arms around her best friend.
"Shhh, it's okay."

"I just miss her, all the time. And she's always busy."

"I know."

Dorcas cried softly into her neck, her voice muffled by the fabric of Lily's blue cardigan.
"I just... love her so much. It's not supposed to hurt."

Lily felt her own heart break then, and something else clicked in her mind. It's not supposed to hurt. She thought of her parents, then of Alice and Frank, and finally of James. In that moment, she realised what she should do. Her mystery was closing its own case.

♥ ♥ ♥

(31st March 1978 continued)

It was impossible to write a letter detailing everything you've wanted to say to a person, but only just learned how to put into words.

Lily's pen bled ink onto the paper in spots of blue as she hovered it above the address she'd written, next to a neatly penned Dear James, from there it began to flow...

Dear James,

Over the past few days, I've been confronted with a series of mysteries that I have been striving to solve.
A number of them surrounding you, and perhaps us (a loosely used term) so while I won't divulge all the mysteries here, I will tell you this much.

Since we nearly kissed, I began to question if such a thing was a good idea at all? Perhaps I was scared? Perhaps I was worried? Wrong? My father talked to me when I came inside, and it made me realise something, which was only reiterated watching Dorcas and Marlene part ways.

We had talked, earlier in the year, about waiting, and deciding that perhaps one day we would be ready for each other, be the right person. However the mystery I have come to solve is that this time may never arise, and I think that perhaps we should forget the whole thing. Love, I find, does little for me, and only contributes to the pain I experience and see around me.

I'm sorry if this is not what you wanted, but I think this is right. The world still turns without love, and I intend to turn with it.

Mysteries are complex things, that sometimes have many solutions, and that is what makes them so perplexing. I wish, one day, to have solved them all.

Best wishes,
Lily (shortstop)

Lily placed down her pen and watched the sun set from her window. She waited for Lucifer, another mystery she would attempt solve another day...

So there you have it! James realises he loves Lily and immediately gets friend zoned, a tale as old as time really.

Anyway, hope you're all doing well and enjoyed the chapter! I'm excited for the next one honestly! We're on the home stretch now, less than 10 left!!

Thanks for reading!

With love,

Abbi♥️