Seokjin opened the door, finding his home neat and tidy. It was obvious that Doctor Kim asked someone to clean it up. The four little cats were snuggling against each other and sleeping soundly with small snores.

He sighed softly. He knew that things were developing beyond his limited imagination. He could neither ignore nor accept them.

The following days were so quiet that his life seemingly came to an end, because Doctor Kim didn't answer his repeated calls. Seokjin intended to invite Doctor Kim for a dinner. Jungkook didn't call him either, and only sent a few short messages expressing tender feelings late at night.

It was four or five days later when he finally went out again. He didn't have any appetite, but he needed to buy fruits and vegetables.

It was windy outside today with snowflakes coming down.

Tightening the scarf around the neck, he was wondering to go home as soon as possible after buying some necessary stuff. He was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to notice a puddle of frozen water on the ground of an alley. He grazed his knees when he fell very hard to the ground.

It was really painful, but Seokjin didn't allow him to indulge in self-pity since he knew that no one cared about him. Silently, biting the lower lip, he picked himself up and collected his stuff scattered all over the ground. He couldn't stand up straight because of the pain in the knees, so he hobbled home slowly with a slightly-bent back.

Seokjin had been used to the loneliness as he lived alone for a long time. The longer one lived alone, the more taciturn one would become. He wasn't born to be like this, but he had experienced too many hurts and separations.

The four little cats grew fast. They had become very familiar with Seokjin and liked to cling to him. Their naughty paws always tickled his arms or neck, making him feel warm in the heart. He was tired, but he didn't forget to prepare a pot of fish soup for them, which was still stewed in the kitchen.

But he didn't expect that Jungkook would come home after 11 p.m. He was a light sleeper, so he was instantly wakened upon the first noise of door opening.

Kicking the Italian cow-leather boots off, Jungkook then threw his woolen overcoat onto the sofa as he always did. Jungkook would never remember to wear a scarf without Seokjin's repeated demands.

"You're back?"

"Why aren't you asleep yet?" Jungkook was surprised with raised eyebrows.

Seokjin came closer to Jungkook, softly held his hand, which was bloody cold, and said, "I just woke up. You didn't tell me that you've returned. You don't want me to pick you up?"

Jungkook came close to him and kissed him on the forehead, "The flight was too late, so I don't want to disturb you. Plus, the temperature at Seoul's winter nights are really low."

Seokjin smiled noncommittally, but he withdrew his hand from Jungkook, said, "The kitchen still has some fish soup left, I'll warm it up for you...."

"Do it later." Jungkook scooped him into his arms and pressed him on the sofa, "Did you miss me? Were you having a good time with cats when I was away?"

Seokjin only shook his head. The expression in his face was always gentle, but no one could ignore his alienation.

Jungkook moved closer to kiss Seokjin lips, but only lightly kissed Seokjin on the cheek as he turned his head away.

"I'm really tired," Seokjin touched Jungkook's nose with his finger tip, avoiding Jungkook's eyes filled with complex feelings, "You must be tired too, so go to bed early."

"But I really miss you." Jungkook frowned, and he got close again to Seokjin to whisper in his ears.

"Let's cuddle." Seokjin knew that it was Jungkook's trump card to call for sex, because he was very sensitive to whispers in the ears, not to mention Jungkook's sexy voice.

However, Seokjin only frowned with a sudden strike of sickness in the throat. Seokjin didn't want to have sex with Jungkook, so he voluntarily reached out to hug him instead, and said "Let me hug you. Now go to sleep."

"What's wrong?" Jungkook held Seokjin's face, full of inquiry in his eyes. "You are so strange all this while."

Seokjin shook his head, and felt hurt on his cheeks due to thin callus of Jungkook's hands.

"Do you blame me for neglecting you? Are you angry with me?" Jungkook said in a tone as the way of soothing a child, with a little bit bantering sense in the voice. "Now I'm back, right?"

Seokjin raised his eyes and stared at him. The gaze was too complicated, but just for a moment, his eyes drooped again. He looked innocent and lovable with his thick and long eyelashes quietly covering the eyes. It seemed that the cold and sharp disappointment flashing across his eyes was just Jungkook's illusion.

Seokjin had always been gentle and soft; even so, just like now, he dropped his eyes, but at that moment he was arrogant and his manner was cold and distant to the extreme; such a gaze like a thorn tortured Jungkook.

Jungkook suddenly remembered the call from Seokjin when he was in France that afternoon. He was not sure if Seokjin heard Jimin's voice. He should actually give a perfect explanation to Seokjin. But he didn't ask anything about it, so Jungkook definitely couldn't explain. When the call finished that day, he became so angry in his heart somehow. He directly turned a cold shoulder to Jimin. What Jungkook hated most was the lovers wanted to replace his beloved Seokjin, the only one he loved and accepted. No one deserved his love, except Seokjin. When Jimin talked back on that day, Jungkook directly gave him a slap across the face and a ticket back to Seoul.

Jungkook guessed that Seokjin was suspicious of him, but did not expect the result was so serious.

"Baby, I am wrong," Jungkook held Seokjin's face and gently kissed his eyebrows and cheeks. "My fault... I've neglected you. I'll take you out on New Year's Day, wherever you want to go..."

Jungkook kissed Seokjin, but Seokjin said nothing, looking up at Jungkook with his long eyelashes fluttering like a butterfly's wings.

Jungkook's heart was melted, and all the apologies and guilt were rushing into his heart. He became much gentler, "Jinnie baby...I love you the most, so please don't ignore me..."

The tears suddenly came down, even though Seokjin closed his eyes, trying to cover them, "... but I don't miss you."

"That's fine,. I missed you anyway."

Jungkook held Seokjin in his arms and then pressed him on the bed in the bedroom. Seokjin really missed Jungkook so much that he felt hurt in his heart, but he still refused to admit it. How could the man, who with his lover enjoyed the journey, express his missing in such an affectionate way?

Indeed, good acting skills had nothing to do with feelings. Jungkook could see through Jin's lies at one glance, but Seokjin couldn't escape from Jungkook's gentle trap.

"Off the lights...." Seokjin slightly trembled, because he felt excited when Jungkook kissed him on the neck.

"Let me look at you," Jungkook lick Seokjin's chin, and smiled gently. "We're already like an old married couple, what's there to be embarrassed about?"

Seokjin breathed unstably. He was only afraid that Jungkook could see the pinholes and bruises on his arms. He almost cried and said in a hoarse voice, "Please... Turn off the lights. I'm begging you...."

Jungkook had no choice but to follow him, and then he completely possessed Seokjin in the darkness.

.
.
.

"Jin..." Jungkook moved fast, and almost embedded Seokjin's whole body into his arms. Seokjin faced Jungkook, sitting in front of him, and was invaded into an unprecedented depth. He put his chin on Jungkook's shoulder, and couldn't help begging and sobbing in a low voice.

"Jungkook.... Ah..." Seokjin was forced to lie prostrate on the bed and finally cried, "Slowly... Please... slowly... Um... No... Uh..."

"You call me what?" Jungkook moved faster, and he grasped Seokjin's waist which was slender beyond his impression. The pain even made him voice disjointed.

"K-kookie... please ahh..."

"Do you realize your mistake?"

Seokjin was almost faint. He shook his head and answered subconsciously, "No... I don't know..."

Jungkook clinging to the bare back of Seokjin, asked in a husky and gentle tone, "Do you miss me?"

Seokjin said in a choked voice, "Yeah...Very much..."

Jungkook suddenly felt relieved and a little delighted, then gave him a peck on the earlobe. Jungkook moved much gentler and said, "Baby... I miss you too..."

Seokjin heard such a sentence, but felt that the body was getting cold slowly, only leaving disappointment and pain.

I love you, but don't treat me as a fool...

When everything finished, Seokjin was softly lying prone on the bed. Jungkook scooped him into his arms and let Seokjin lie prone on his chest. This kind of action was what they used to do at the first few years. At that time, they even had no money to pay for the heating bills in winter. Seokjin was sensitive to coldness, so Jungkook used to hold him tightly in his arms and wrap themselves in the quilt.

He had always been reluctant to made Seokjin suffer anything from the start... Jungkook couldn't fall into sleep, and touched Seokjin's hair in the dark from time to time. How could he leave Seokjin at home and sleep with others? Or he believed that the person he really cared about was different from those people who screwed with him.