He pushed the man on his body aside, staring at the endless darkness with his eyes wide open. He relaxed himself and got his breath back, waiting for the choking heartache to wear off.

They had made a promise to each other that they would be together forever at the beginning. They met each other at their best ages and had thought they found own Mr. Right. Seokjin showed a depressed smile. He well remembered plenty of trifles, which were pieced together and formed happiness.

Jungkook was cool and proud in front of the outsiders in his school days. But in fact, he was incredibly naive. At that time, he would sit like a cat in the bushes and greet Seokjin, "Jinnie, Jinnie, look! Lizard!"; even the simple thing he wanted to brag about. He also would bring kinds of delicious food and snacks to Seokjin every day. Later on, Jungkook came out to make a living, and Seokjin without hesitate followed him wherever he go... leaving all behind just to be with him. They met obstacles and setbacks many times. Jungkook once drank when he starting work as businessman, as soon as he was drunk, he hugged Seokjin, crying cause he did not give him a good life.

'Was I enough for your whole life? Did you still remember that we once made a promise about that?' Seokjin could not help bursting into tears, with the back of his hands covering his eyes like a kid. He really missed the gorgeous pear blossom in the Second Senior Middle School. The white flowers were finely divided in trees like stars distributed in the sky. During the blossom, he would go to pick up flowers from the ground and fill up his small pocket after school every day. Then he would take a handful of them and blow some to Jungkook on the face and body. He still remembered that the most romantic and daring thing they had ever done was that during a holiday when the campus was empty, Jungkook held him leaning against the pear tree and gave him a long lingering kiss filled with teen love...

But what did that mean? The once fervent and simple love had been wearing off over the long time and had been beaten back to the original by the desire for a life of debauchery. There was nothing left to comfort him.

"I still had a little strength to love you as much as I could. Later you would be on your own, and don't be too capricious, or your new lover would not stay long at your side," He murmured. Then he managed to get up and gently tucked Jungkook in, with his small dimple, which should have been as sweet and soft as honey, wet and bitter, filled with tears right now. He turned around, biting his finger to hold back his sobs.

Dawn came late in winter. Seokjin watched the sky gradually light up, the cold light filtering through the thin gauze curtain, which made him fell chill and desolate. It was a cold winter this year. If he could make a snowman with Jungkook again, the snowman would stay longer. Then his trace would be with him a little longer in this winter.

Seokjin struggled up and shambled to have a shower. He was thin and weak now. With dense erotic traces all over, his body seemed dirty and pathetic.

He knew well that he was good-for-nothing. He had no energy to quarrel with Jungkook for anything. Since it had become a habit to love this man, he could still endure anything. He bent over against the cold white marble bath and drew out with fingers what Jungkook left in his body, knitting his eyebrows tighter and tighter. He must stop having sex.

Seokjin took some medicine and then made millet porridge for Jungkook, who drank too much last night. The millet porridge was good for stomach. When the porridge was ready in the pot, he sat on a small sofa, concentrating on reading a book.

Jungkook woke up late with disheveled hair after the whole night's sleep, acting in a spoiled way beside Seokjin. He stretched out his arm and held Seokjin entirely in his arms.

"I'm leaving for a business trip tomorrow. It will take around half a month before I'm back."

Seokjin stopped turning the page, "Alright." It would be easier to go to the hospital if he wasn't at home.

"You're going alone?" Seokjin struggled out of Jungkook's arms and went to the kitchen to fetch the porridge.

Jungkook was in a daze, "I'm going with a couple of important people as well as my assistant."

He replied with a simple "ok", as if he did not care much about it. He ladled out the porridge to a bowl for Jungkook, "Don't bully that boy too much. Hobi has so much on his hands yet you still bring him along for a business trip."

Jungkook was having porridge with a spoon, and replied him without thinking much, "It's not Hoseok, but the new assistant, who graduated from the Academy of Fine Arts. I'll take him to meet with the new French designer."

He smiled, "Do I know him?"

"How can you know the new face in the company? Especially a kid like Park Jimin who's just graduated..." Realizing the slip of his tongue, Jungkook suddenly shut up and focused on eating porridge.

Seokjin froze on hearing that. As a new face, the boy should be able to get such a high position immediately after graduation, so he must be well-versed in pleasing Jungkook.

Seokjin sighed, and said to himself in a teasing tone that it was useless for him to worry about so much. "I'll go pack your luggage for you." Then he turned around to wash his hands and packed the suitcase for Jungkook.

The four kittens were vivacious. Their legs were too short to walk well, so they shambled in groups at Seokjin to play with him. Out of curiosity, the four white kittens with black patterns on the body squatted in the suitcase, and they had fun.

"Well, well, it's time to come out," Seokjin touched their foreheads one by one with the tips of his fingers, "There there~ Quickly get out of there, if he sees you in there, I'll get another lecture again..."

Jungkook was at the door, but he did not dare to speak for a moment. Sometimes he was frightened by the gentleness of Seokjin. He remembered that Jimin once raised a very silly husky dog at the beginning of their relations. He could bear it, although he was bored with the dog. After all, he did not live in Jimin's house. But once he saw dog hair on his body, he could not stand any more. Tears welled up in his eyes all those days when he was compelled to send that dog away, but there was not half a ripple in Jungkook heart. Watching Seokjin playing with the four kittens, Jungkook felt that the scene was so sweet and harmonious that everything seemed peaceful. At that moment, he even did not care the kitten hair sticking to his shirt or suit any more.

A lover could be jilted anytime if he or she was not obedient. However, Jungkook would never treat Seokjin in this way. Even though he was tired of the insipid life, the man who accompanied him all the way was the one that nobody could replace. Jungkook would understand it sooner or later, although he didn't right now. People always had confidence in what they possessed. They deemed it to be their own subconsciously, so they couldn't be bothered to do much for it. However, people's heart was the most variable, especially when Seokjin could not control it, either...

Jungkook did not like wearing a scarf but Seokjin was afraid that Jungkook might catch a cold, so he insisted on wrapping a scarf around his neck. Jungkook looked down at Seokjin who was carefully knotting the tie, and said with a smile, "You are really an understanding wife and loving mother."

Seokjin rolls his eyes, patted the scarf well knotted, "You should get going."

Jungkook stretched out his hand to touch the Seokjin thin cheeks, "You should eat more, you've lost a lot of weight again. Once I'm free, I'll accompany you for a checkup."

Things in the world kept changing and could not wait; 'when I'm free' was the worst promise, because there was usually no answer in the waiting.

He lowered his long eyelashes, answered in obedience, and then watched Jungkook leave. Gazing at the man's receding figure, which was still tall and straight, he felt some feeling welling up. When you loved a person, you even felt that he walked in a different way, so elegantly and unconventionally, even though the person... never looked back.

Seokjin closed the door, sat back at the table, and had half a bowl of millet porridge which had already been cold.

Jungkook seldom called Seokjin during his business trip. Maybe he was really busy, or it was just inconvenient to call He. He never inspected whether he was really busy. He felt that only narrow-minded persons would do these things, which was disturbing and degrading for him. It was also impossible to defend effectively if a person wanted to cheat.

After the chemotherapy, Seokjin had no serious follow-up reaction this time. His hair did not fall off as much as he had expected. However, he dared not lower his guard. Because he knew that since he had decided to accept the treatment, chemotherapy was just the beginning, and he would always think of the worst result. In fact, he did not care much about the result.

Taehyung paid much more attention to Seokjin than ever. He called Seokjin more frequently than what Jungkook did. Seokjin found it funny sometimes to answer the phone call, playing with the kittens, "Will it get your wages deducted to chat on the phone at work, doctor?"

Taehyung also joked, "I'm caring about my patient's mental health. Is there anything wrong?"

Seokjin slowly found that Taehyung pretended the usual stern face, and he turned out to be an especially interesting person when he got familiar with you. Taehyung was an outspoken man speaking his mind. Just like a big wolf dog, he seemed mighty and domineering when you looked at him from afar, but he would be nice and behave in a spoiled manner if he was familiar with you. Seokjin was scratching a kitten's neck, thinking that it was really impolite for him to associate Taehyung with a big dog.