<children's music>

HK: It was a normal day at work-- a boring, boring day. Wendy turned yet another page of her fashion magazine, wondering why she had to work on a weekday. No child would go to a toy shop that early in the morning now, would they? Although just then, her phone rang.

<ringing of a phone>

HK: 'Ugh, it's the annoying boss,' she thought to herself as she picked up the phone. 

BG: "Restock the molang plushies. We have received a delivery last night. The boxes must be at the back."

HK: Wendy's eyes travelled to the gate which led to the warehouse, rolling her eyes thereafter. "'Kay, bye." She replied uninterestedly, cutting the call and getting up.

<squeaking of door hinges>

HK: The warehouse was a mess as always. Wendy sighed and advanced to the new set of boxes that had appeared on the corner. One by one she opened the boxes, finding those cute looking plushies in every single one of them. She then went to the fourth box, finding that it smelt awful. 'Well, yet another defected piece', she thought, and she opened it. 

<music stops>

HK: If you call a corpse a plushie, it sure was a cute one.

<intro music>

BG: AAAAAAAND we are late.

YJ: Thanks to big old Kang.

HK: But aren't you the old one—

SB: Love life, kids. Don't be like Kai.

BG: It's okay, YJ. 

YJ: Shut your ass, Choi.

SB: Which one?

YJ: All of 'em.

TH: You count in it as well.

<silence>

HK: ...SO Taehyun-ssi, would you like to tell us what happened?

TH: No I won't.

HK: That wasn't a question of choice~

TH: ...Right. I am not scared, although this was supposed to be your episode, I would like to propose my sincere apologies on the behalf of the police peeps.

YJ: I need a translator.

TH: I am not saying that again.

BG: They should've locked up your house after your arrest.

SB: Why would the police go back to the house ANYway? Aren't they done retrieving?

BG: Yeah. Those nosey bitches.

HK: BASICALLY He was dragged—

TH: Taken.

HK: —back to the court for two weeks to recite the story after the police found four more dead bodies from his house. And then his boyfriend broke up with him because he was depressed and now Taehyun-ssi here is also depressed.

TH: Am not. And he was just a friend.

YJ: Say that to a wall. And say it loud.

<BG giggles>

HK: And then it turns out that they weren't Taehyun-ssi's victims at all.

TH: They couldn't find the culprit, and I was a soft target to take the blame. Too bad the chief justice drools over me.

YJ: He does?!

HK: Wow... I mean— understandable. Taehyun-ssi is quite the eye candy.

TH: You aren't any less, I must say.

<chair noises>

SB: Ew.

BG: OMG, DID YOU JUST KISS KANG?!

HK: Yes...?

TH: Why are we having this conversa—

YJ: Y'ALL HE IS BLUSHI—

TH: SHUT THE FUCK—

SB: Just start with the story already.

HK: Right, so back to the story—

YJ: You lack body hiding skills.

TH: Says the one who'd throw the bodies in a gutter.

YJ: ...

TH: What? Why are y'all looking at me like that? He was the one who chose to open his pretty little mouth.

<more chair noises>

BG: Huening you might as well sit on his lap itself.

SB: Ew, Choi.

BG: You are a Choi too.

<silence>

SB: Let's not deviate from the topic.

BG: EVERYONE! Finger on your lips. MC Huening, take over.

YJ: Dramatic little—

HK: OKAY! Now, Wendy. She was the first to ever meet one of my molangies. Lucky girl.

TH: Lucky indeed.

HK: But she won't be the only one, you see.

SB: What happened after the police found out.

HK: They chose to procrastinate, duh.

BG: You are being a little too honest.

TH: Honesty is endearing.

HK: So are you~

YJ: I opt out of my third wheel post RIGHT NOW.

BG: Aww YJ, do you want a kith from me?

YJ: Will ya give it to me?

BG: Say please?

SB: I did not choose to be the Steve here.

HK: You...kinda are?

YJ: Bad idea, Huening. Very bad idea.

BG: I do not like this aura we have managed to create in this room. Huening, you do not anger one Choi Soobin.

TH: Do you even like any other auras besides a burning house?

BG: No...?

HK: Soobin hyung...please stop glaring at me. I might fall in love—

BG: Haww, Huening. Are you cheating on Kang?

HK: Do you insist I pursue you instead, hyungie~?

YJ: WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS KID TODAY?! DID SOMEONE FEED HIM RED WINE?!

TH: That's oddly specific for an accusation. Did you do it?

YJ, in hysterics: I AIN'T EVEN GONNA SPEAK ANYMORE! Y'ALL SPIN MY WORDS LIKE A GODDAMN WASHING MACHINE!

BG: Editor-nim, cue sad music.

<sad music plays>

SB: Let the poor boy continue.

HK: This little event kinda went unnoticed because one, Sangwon, as we all already know, was a loner; and two, police kind of buried it all because they were too lazy to find any clues. The case file kinda went down and soon the neighbourhood forgot it ever even happened.

HK: But I was not satisfied. The bloodshed wasn't enough. I needed more.

TH: Like a true sociopath.

HK: So, after that, I befriended another guy, who happens to be named Lee Daehwi. And I must say, he was just as cute as Sangwon, if not more.

BG: Woah, and you killed an innocent.

HK: Who said anything about innocence, hyung?

YJ: Aaaand what had HE done?

HK: I won't say I was in the best of my states at that time. Daehwi was a junior who noticed this. He'd watch me everyday at some secluded corner, brooding like all sadness had dawned upon me at once. All of it wasn't true,  though. I kinda added to the spice with my own acting skills.

BG: I need classes.

HK: I knew he was watching, and I knew he'd react if I did just enough. I wasn't wrong.  He did approach by the end of the second week. And then we made friends like we were meant to be just that since forever.

SB: I would've thought this to be a romantic hurt/comfort and character development trope if I wasn't already aware of the aftermath.

YJ: Fucking sucks to know the spoilers.

HK: I can help you forget those in one night. [winks]

<clueless whisper cues in>

YJ: ...

YJ: [screams]

BG: Gay panic is real, kids.

SB: Kang-ssi, can you stop giving Kai that look of yours? I do not plan on listening to stuff that'll scar my entire existence tonight.

BG: Scar— what?

SB: Nothing. 'Scar' is a fan fiction. You should read it.

TH: You talk as if you don't already know what he's talking about, Beomgyu.

BG: That's because I don't—

BG: Wait.

BG: EW! EW EW EW eeewew.

YJ: [stops screaming] BG is malfunctioning.

TH: Wow. Yeonjun's using big words now.

YJ: I can also use a big—

BG: Bold of you to say when you were screaming just seconds ago.

HK: I can make him scream just any day—

SB: ENOUGH NOW! Let's keep it family friendly.

HK: Heh. Sorry hyungie~

SB: I am appealing for an exorcism to be conducted upon you after this.

YJ: I second that.

BG: Me three.

HK: So, we became friends, and it was the best thing that could happen to me. We would talk for hours about our never ending topics and it wasn't so late before he realised his feelings for me. And, a year forth, Lee Daehwi asked me out.

HK: Our dating period included going to each other's houses and playing random games in the back of my notebook in every break at school. It was sweet.

HK: And OF COURSE nothing lasts for long. This didn't either.

HK: One day I went to Daehwi's house uninvited to give him a surprise because it was his birthday. I had baked him a cake, which was right in my hands. His mother gladly gestured for me to go to his room, and so I did. I went and stopped at the door when I heard his voice talking to someone. It was probably on his phone because no replies were heard. I stepped closer to open the door, but pause when I hear my name. Blinking, I bright my ear near to the door. And guess what?

BG: He was bad bitching about you.

HK: He was bad bitching about me. [sighs] I couldn't take it. I only saw the knife I had arranged on the tray,  gleaming beside the cake.

YJ: Damn. What happened then?

HK: The more I heard him speak,  the more I wanted to cut his throat. But it was his birthday of course, so I had I had a better plan.

HK: I went downstairs, acted like I was going home,  made an excuse that an important thing came up. Mama Lee believed it, and it was enough.
HK: But your boy here never walked out the door. He took the cake and hid himself for the perfect time to come. And,  ya know, the luck was kinda on my side that day, because soon Mama Lee got a call, she had to leave to tend to her father who had unexpectedly suffered a heart attack. Daehwi's sister went with her,  she was too small to be left alone with a careless dumbfuck like my Hwihwi. Time couldn't get anymore ideal.

HK: Once sure that everyone had left, I made my way back up,  suddenly very excited to celebrate my Hwihwi's day. Sweet fucking seventeen.

HK: He was surprised to see me of course, no more on his phone, not alarmed either. I brought him the cake, sang him happy birthday, gave it to him to blow the candles. He smiled at me in that lovely way he always did and proceeded to cut the cake. And then came the turn for presents, and I had just the perfect thing for him. I kept the tray on his desk, went into my pocket and fished out a box I had wrapped that morning. He took it in his curiosity, bending to open it. As the layers of the wrapping fell one by one, my fingers inched to the baby that waited for me on the tray. He reached the last layer, finally opening the box, taking out a Molang key chain I had gotten customized just for him. But before he could look back up, I pushed him down on the bed, pulled the covers over our bodies as I straddled him. He fully expected a make out,  and he was kinda right, but he didn't know it would be his last. Because as soon as our lips parted, I stabbed him. A scream unsheathed itself from his throat, soon muffled by my own mouth. I stabbed and stabbed and stabbed his sides until he could be seen as a walking sponge. Or dead sponge, if I were to be—

<even more chairs noises>

SB: What has gotten into you today,  Taehyun? Ugh.

BG: I won't even insist on sitting on his lap. Y'all need a whole room at this point.

YJ: I suddenly want a week of solitary confinement. I am not gonna spend my nights with these two doing s—

SB: —FAMILY FRIENDLY—

YJ: —Stuff. I want my peaceful night sleep.

BG: And I want to hear the STORY!! Lemme listen. Although that WAS kinda hot, ngl.

SB: You don't use acronyms in a verbal conversation.

BG: I am not Shakespeare's grandson like you are, Hyung. Cut me some slack.

TH: Just continue already.

YJ: Your eyes are eating him already.

TH: Do you want me to eat you instead, Jagi?

YJ: ...

YJ: [screams]

SB: WHERE ARE OUR MANNERS, OH MY GOD. Kai, please just continue.

HK: Y'all kinda already know the aftermath. Police came, they finally started a case, but guess I was just to agile to get in their grasps, and my reign continued. I wanted more Molangs, and so I got 'me,  lifeless life-sized ones. But the world, of course, was against it.

HK: My last Molangie was a neighborhood boy Down the lane. Cute, as usual. But HE was a wuss. A big one. We were friends, and he liked me, but would never say. I kinda just got tired by the end and decided he wasn't really worth the pain. I did not wait, and brought him to a hillside to confess myself. He was still a wuss afraid to do just anything, and I don't like 'em if they are not proud of me. I brought him to the hillside again, and the wuss tried his hands on me. I had a plan myself, so I let him,  for awhile, before I knew he was vulnerable. That's when I threw him off the cliff, watched as he screamed. Lucky for him, someone heard him, and someone saw me.

YJ: Ah, good old Wendy.

HK: Yeah, Wendy just happened to be the one to see me and snapped a picture of me without me knowing which, first of all, is a breach of privacy, like what is this stalker behavior, Wendy?

BG: The police got to you?

HK: I made sure not to make it easy for them, but yeah. Otherwise I won't be here today.

SB: Is this the end?

HK: Yes.

BG: And you aren't gonna give us the details of the rest four you killed?

HK: Why do you want an account of whom I made out with?

BG: Oh, okay, MY BAD. I won't ask.

TH: Are you free after this?

HK: Me? I am always free?

TH: Okay.

YJ: IF Y'ALL ARE LISTENING THIS, DEAR POLICE,  PLEASE TAKE ME TO A SOLITARY CONFINENENT. I REQUEST FROM DEEP OF MY HEART.

TH: Your English is so bad. Just don't try.

SB: So, WITH this we come to the end of the episode... Okay I forgot our outro.

BG: We don't have one.

HK: Bye sugarpies~ Hope you do not close your doors~

SB: That wasn't the outro.

YJ: Don't do drugs, kids.

TH: You were a drug lord.

SB: JUST— BYE, I guess.

BG: Play with fire, but don't burn your house down.

YJ: Don't worry they are not like you.

SB: DID I NOT JUST SAY BYE—

<outro music>

A/n: That was a shameless self-promotion, please ignore I ever mentioned Scar-