⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚　˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆
"You can miss people but you don't have to want them back.
You can forgive people but you don't have to give them second chances."
*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Hana was tossing and turning in her bed, thinking about him. His love wasn't fake, right? Maybe it was just the situations that led their relationship to this.

Her mind whispered, "Yes, and he made these situations himself."

She squeezed her eyes shut at the thought. How much she hated this fact, but it was a fact.

She was inside the apartment for the last three hours, and she knew that he was still outside. She knew he wouldn't leave this easily. She didn't want to open her heart for him, but she still made two servings of soup for dinner, which was now in the fridge because she had no courage to give it to him.

And she hated this fact too: that her heart was warming and melting because of him. Her entangled emotions were playing tricks on her mind, and she hated that. She chuckled at herself for how much she hated everything now and how often she had used the word 'hate' in the last few days. The world, which she had always found beautiful, now looked ugly and painful to her.

She knew he was still outside, but she had no intention of taking him inside. She looked out the window; the downpour hadn't stopped. Suddenly, a thought struck her mind.

It was raining.
He was drenched in rain.
He had been sitting outside for the last three hours in that cold weather, despite the fact that he couldn't bear it.

She sprang out of bed and found herself running towards the door. She opened the door slightly for the first time in three hours. He was sitting at her doorstep, his back pressed against the wall, his eyes closed, and his whole body shivering. He was shivering so badly that his teeth chattering was clearly audible.

"Jungkook," she called out his name after sitting beside him and checking his temperature. His body was cold as ice. He looked at her slowly and slightly smiled.

"I knew you'd come."

She didn't listen to his blabbering and attempted to pick him up. She told him to get inside the apartment, but he was continuously repeating his apologies. She somehow managed to drag him inside the apartment and plopped him on her bed. She told him to change his clothes while giving him extra clothes which he always kept at her house. She left the room before he could even utter a word.

She sighed in relief when she heard the door locking sound, which meant that he was now in the bathroom. She went toward the kitchen and heated the soup she had made earlier.

She poured the soup into a bowl and went back inside the bedroom. Jungkook came out of the bathroom after changing, and she told him to have the soup. He obeyed her because only he knew how much he missed her cooking.

The empty bowl now rested on the bedside table. Hana was arranging the heater in Jungkook's direction so that he could get some heat. He stared at her face as he lay down on the bed. After the heater was set, she moved toward him to cover him with an extra comforter. She told him that she would sleep on the couch in the living room. He didn't say anything and just stared at her face.

Hana was going to move away, but he held her wrist and pulled her toward him. She fell on top of him, her hands resting on his chest, while he tightly wrapped his arms around her, not letting her go. She wiggled in his grip and said, "What are you doing, Jungkook? Leave me."

He stared at her face and leaned toward her lips. She knew what was coming, and she tried to stop it. Despite her attempts, he placed his lips on hers. He closed his eyes, treasuring the feeling of having her in his arms. She stopped her attempts. She was still- still like a statue.

"I'm sorry," he moved his lips after whispering the words. Tears fell from his eyes when he didn't feel her kissing back. Her mind went numb, and her heart whispered to go with the flow. She waited for her mind to protest, but this time her mind whispered, 'Forgive him.'

Tears streamed down her face when she found herself kissing him back. He felt relief at her response and cradled her face with his hand; his other hand went behind her nape, pulling her closer. He switched positions and hovered over her, the comforter sandwiched between them.

She pulled his mouth closer while he intertwined his fingers with hers. The kiss was slow and passionate, yet desperate and full of longing. He detached his mouth from hers and stared at her while his tears dropped onto her cheek, making her open her eyes.

"Please, forgive me, Hana," he whispered against her lips, his voice filled with fear and anxiety.

"I forgave you."

He sighed in relief after hearing her and again dropped his mouth on her. They shared another kiss, but now it was slower and more patient.

He fell asleep after some time, his arm wrapped around her waist. He slept so soundly in her embrace that night. He was sleeping peacefully, but Hana was awake. She looked at him the whole time. She caressed his face with her hands, trailing her fingers from his forehead to his eyes, to his nose, to his cheeks, and finally to his lips. It felt like she was taking in every single detail of him.

His eyes had dark circles.
Meant he had sleepless nights, and maybe cried too.
He looked weak.
Meant he didn't eat enough food and skipped his meals.
His lips just uttered her name in sleep.
Meant he still loved her.

A lone tear left her eye, trailing down her nose and eventually disappearing into the mattress. She wondered why she forgave him. Maybe because her heart knew that he truly loved her. But what about the pain she had already borne within herself?

She closed her eyes, attempting to sleep and push away all the thoughts that were clouding her mind.

***

His eyes squeezed tight when he felt the brightness blinding his vision. He slowly opened his eyes, moving his hand around, but sighed when he didn't find Hana by his side. He sat straight up on the bed and looked at the clock. His eyes widened when he realized that it was already past noon.

He realized that the reason for sleeping until noon was his dear girlfriend. Her embrace made him sleep soundly, and he had a good rest after so many sleepless nights. It almost felt like his sleep had vanished, but her presence made him feel alive again.

He got up from the bed and went outside the bedroom in the hope of finding her but was saddened when he didn't. His eyes caught a glimpse of a note on the fridge. He walked over to the fridge, pulled the note into his hand, and read it. The note said,

Morning!
I'm going out for some work and later on have a night shift, so don't wait for me. You can have breakfast; I placed it in the fridge. Lock the door before going. Do visit a doctor before going home. Bye.
~ Hana

He slightly smiled at the note but was also saddened by the tone. There was no 'good' in the morning. She didn't write his nickname 'Kook' or even his name. She didn't write 'your lovely girlfriend' but instead wrote her name. The note was the perfect definition of bland and formal tone. Nothing looked normal; everything had changed.
And he felt that change.
And he was the one at fault.

But he smiled that she still cared for him. She made breakfast for him and told him to see the doctor. He reassured himself that everything would be back to normal. It would definitely take time to gain her trust again, but he was determined. He was happy that she forgave him .

***

The next morning, a door bell rang, making Hana wake up lazily from her bed. She walked to the door while rubbing her eyes. She looked through the peephole and she frowned when she found Jungkook standing outside.

Confused, she opened the door, and Jungkook stood there with a beautiful smile on his face. His hands were holding a beautiful bouquet of red roses— her favourite flowers.

She looked at his face again, and he stared at her, confused, as if he was expecting something. His smile flattered a little, but he cleared his throat, putting a sweet smile back on his lips.

"Happy first anniversary, love."

He extended the bouquet toward her but she didn't accept it. She just stared blankly at him, which made Jungkook more nervous.

"What is this, Jungkook?"

He became more anxious, trying to keep that small smile on his face as he replied, "It's our anniversary. We planned everything, right?"

She still stared at him blankly. "Really, Jungkook, did you forget about everything that happened between us?" she said, raising her eyebrow.

His smile instantly faded at the comment. He came here thinking they both would get closer because of their special day, but Hana surely didn't plan to spend any time with him. He stuttered, "B-But, you forgave me already."

She sighed and looked down at her feet while saying, "I forgave you, Jungkook. I didn't say that I wanted to continue this relationship."

Tears brimmed in his eyes as he heard her words. His heart cracked more and more with each passing moment.

"Hana, what are you saying? It's our first anniversary. Let's just celebrate it happily—"

"Jungkook, why are you not understanding?" she asked, looking at him. Her eyes showed disappointment. She took a deep breath before continuing, "It's over, Jungkook."

The words echoed in his mind again and again.

It's.
Over.
Jungkook.

He didn't even realize when tears started steaming down his face. The bouquet dropped from his hands. He immediately took hold of Hana's hands; his voice trembled as he said, "Please, Hana, don't say this. Tell me it's not the truth. Tell me you won't leave me. You promised that you'd never leave me. I can't... can't live without you."

She tried to pull her hands away, but his hold tightened even more. Tears were stinging her eyes as she heard his words.

"I was going to introduce you to my parents, Hana. Please don't say this. I want to spend my whole life with you, love. Please—"

"Stop it, Jungkook. You need to understand. I'm not able to look at you the same way I used to. Whenever I look into your eyes, I just get the memories of that bet. I know you truly loved me. But now, my heart has more hate for you than love. In the last few days, my heart has developed immense hate for you."

He dropped to his knees, tears flowing down his face. She knelt down in front of him, tears escaping from her eyes too. She looked at him, her mind saying to leave him for the betterment of their own lives, but she waited for her heart to resist. This time, her heart whispered too, 'Let go of him.' So, she did.

"When a string breaks into two pieces, you can't join it back. If you try to tie it again, there will be a knot there. And that knot will never disappear. Our relationship has also developed a knot, Jungkook. And now, that knot will never disappear."

He looked up at her with his red, bloodshot eyes, making her wonder how much he cried in the last few days. He cradled her face in his hands, his lips trembling as he uttered, "Please, Hana, can't we try? I'll make you forget everything with my love, I promise—"

He stopped talking when he saw Hana shaking her head as a 'no'. He hugged her so tightly that he felt it was his last time hugging her. He would never be able to hold her in his arms again. She wrapped her arms around him too, treasuring the last hug with him. He knew love couldn't be forced, and he wouldn't be even able to force it on her.

"I'll always cherish our one year together, Jungkook. You gave me some beautiful memories, and some bad ones too. But I would like to keep the beautiful ones with me. And for that, I need to go away from you. If we stay together, I'll be hurt everyday. Not every story deserves a happy ending, Jungkook."

He just snuggled into her neck, sobbing hard. He was ashamed of himself, ashamed of everything he had done. Now, he understood the feelings of every other girl when he had broken up with them. He realized that karma is really a bitch.

The only words he whispered were, "How unlucky we are to break up on the day of our first anniversary."

He placed a small peck on her forehead. He wanted to kiss her but felt it was wrong. So, he just pecked her cheek and left. And that was the last encounter they had...
.
.
.
Until he crossed paths with her again.