Park Ma-Ri POV:
I waited for Young-min outside of café Dionysus. The rain came in mist form, small droplets sticking to my hair and coat, but it wasn't cold. I looked up to the sky with clouds shrouding the young autumn night, closing my eyes, I imagined myself drowning in a typhoon of the dark night. I feel like I'm whirling through a Maze of Memories...

Flashback: 11 months ago:
I'm observing Chan, he has been jittery and jumpy the whole time we've been at the café Dionysus. His hands have been shaking this whole time, dropping his spoon and chopsticks. I looked at his eyes, were his pupils shaking? And then it dawned on me...but wait...Chan wouldn't, would he?

We walked out of the café and it had started raining a little.
"Wait, Ma-Ri, I have to tell you something." By this point, my heart was shaking and my spine tingled. Right, just say it, it's ok.
"I know what you want to say, and Chan, I'm so disappointed in you."

Bang Chan's POV: (still flashback to 11 months ago)
I was so confused. Ma-Ri folded her arms in front of me, a barricade against the cold or me, I didn't know. Disappointed? But-
"You've taken drugs, haven't you?" Her face was so serious it took a lot for me not to scream in frustration. It took me a lot to conjure the courage to even think of doing this and she thinks I'm on drugs?! I- I held the bridge of my nose, not knowing how to react. I suddenly burst out laughing.

Ma-Ri stood there, dumb-founded. She slapped my shoulder and it hurt.
"Ow...what did you do that for?" I rubbed my shoulder.
"Chan I'm serious...why have you taken drugs?" She certainly looked serious.
"Ma-Ri I haven't taken any drugs at all."
"Then explain your behaviour. You've been jittery and jumpy, you dropped your spoon and chopsticks a billion times. Your pupils were even shaking. Explain that to me!" She practically screamed which earned us weird stares from the people around us.
"Follow me." I grabbed her by the wrist and took her down the street and into an alleyway.
"Now are you going to tell me why you've taken drugs?"
"No."
"Chan-"
"I'm not going to tell you because I haven't taken any drugs! Ma-Ri, you know me, I would never do that."
"Well you never know-" I grabbed her shoulders and looked into her eyes.
"The reason why I was like that was because...I was planning to tell you that I like you. A lot."

Park Ma-Ri's POV: (still flashback to 11 months ago)
"Wh-what?"
"I like you." I stared at him. Trying to see if he was joking. He suddenly realised what he just said, and dropped his hands from my shoulders and was rubbing the back of his neck, a sheepish grin on his face.
"Um..."
"Well..."
Awkward silence...
(A/N: CAW CAW CAW)
"Y-you don't have to give an answer now, I-"
"I like you too." I squeezed my eyes shut and held my hands in front of my face. Silence again.
"What does that make us?" He whispered, but I couldn't tell what he was feeling.
"What do you think?"
"Are we in a relationship then?" He was louder this time, and closer. I peeked through the gaps of my fingers. He is so close. I ran.
"That's the wrong way!" He started to laugh. I stopped where I was and laughed too. We looked at each other across the distance, smiles lingering on our faces.
"You still haven't answered my question."
"Yes. I guess we are." I closed the distance between us and hugged him. This is what home felt like.

End of Flashback:
Park Ma-Ri POV: (Back to present)
"Hello? Ma-Ri?" Young-Min was snapping his fingers in my face. I shook my head slightly. My coat and hair had small droplets of rain in them.
"Pabo! Why are you still standing outside for?!Come on let's go warm you up."
Young-Min dragged me inside the café and we sat at a table which was against the wall of windows. I looked at the table in front of us. Another couple were sitting at mine and Chan's favourite table. It's not yours anymore. I sighed.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. This latte just tastes really good."
"Anyways, guess what."
"What?" I was not in the mood but I didn't want Young-Min to worry about me.
"You know that meeting Rhymer wanted to have with us? With me and Donghyun?"
"Yeah...the one that you were just at."
"Well...there were these two other trainees; Woo-Jin and Dae-Hwi."
"Do I know them?"
"No but that's not important. Anyways...Rhymer wants us to team up and debut together as a boy band!" My face broke out in the biggest smile and I grabbed Young-Min's hands.
"REALLY?!" I squealed. He made a gesture to tell me to be quiet. I started to slap his arm in excitement and he did the same back.
"We are going to start training together straight away. But..."
"But what?" I scrunched my eyebrows.
"There has to be 5 members in the group. We have to pick one person, but Rhymer has to agree with us."
"Oh...well that's not that bad...right?" Young-Min sighed and twined his fingers together, a habit he did when he was stressed.
"Well...no it's not but the fifth member could be picked at any time. And what if the chemistry of the group isn't right?" I held his hand. "I'm going to be the leader. I have to make sure everything is right and that we are perfect." I stroked the back of his hand.
"Young-Min. Look at me. You'll be fine. You're not alone. You have Donghyun, and now two new members. You can share the burden. And, there is no rush to debut, is there? If the fifth member isn't a good fit, you'll find a better fit. You will debut and you will take the world by storm. Ok?" I searched his face for a sign that he understood what I had just said. He nodded and cleared his throat.
"This latte is better than usual isn't it?" I laughed and sipped mine.
"Yh it is."
Bang Chan POV:
The members were filing out of the studio one by one, hugging me as they went. How did they know something was wrong even when I'm trying my best to pretend? Woo-Jin hyung was left with me. He hugged me to his chest and patted my back with his reassuring hand. I wanted to sob right then. He broke the hug and held me at arms length.

"Chan. You can tell hyung if anything is wrong. I'm here for you always. I'll never leave you." And that's when I couldn't stop myself anymore. The tears flowed down my tired face. At first I tried to hide them. Then I just gave up. Woo-Jin hyung held me to his chest again and I sobbed breathlessly.
"H-hyung. Ma-Ri...broke up with me..." I whined while sobbing. Woo-Jin hyung didn't say anything. He just rubbed my back and held me when I felt as if the ground had suddenly crumbled, as if my moon had disappeared, taking my sun with it.
As my sobs died down, Woo-Jin hyung held me at arms length.
"Chan. Everything will turn out right. Relationships are at their strongest when they've faced the toughest of obstacles. I know Ma-Ri. She must have a reason."
"But hyung...what if that reason is because I wasn't enough? What if-"
"Never say 'what if' when it comes to love. Always look for the truth, okay? It's the only way to save your relationship." He wiped the last traces of tears on my cheek with his thumb and smiled at me.
"I'll leave you alone to sort your thoughts. The kids are worried about you. I won't tell them about what happened, you can tell them when you're ready." I nodded.
"Thank you, hyung."
"Don't mention it." He walked out the studio, closing the door as he went.

I sighed a heavy sigh, full of regret and sorrow. My mind kept wandering back to when she walked away from me. I felt like the stars suddenly all fall out of the universe, leaving a thick darkness that nothing could penetrate no matter how hard they tried. That's what she was to me. My everything. I shook my head and sat at the desk out of the booth. I put on headphones and started to compose a track. A track of made of memories and of darkness.

Park Ma-Ri's POV:
"You didn't have to walk me home, Young-Min." We had reached the gates to the building of where my dorm was located. No boys were allowed after 10:00pm so Young-Min couldn't go any further. He handed me the bag of ramen I had bought on the way and suddenly hugged me. I was surprised since I'm normally the one who forces a hug out of him.

"What's with you?" I patted his back and pulled away slightly. He looked down at me into my eyes.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He pulled away and shoved his hands in his coat pocket. I shoved my hair behind my ears.
"What do you mean?"
"You can tell me what's wrong when you're ready. Bye Ma-Ri." And with that he turned and walked off quicker than I'd ever seen him.

When I reached my dorm, I got a call. A call that I've been dreading. I let it ring for a while, and then picked up, my hand shaking and my breath hitching.
"Hello?"
"Did you do it? Did you break up with Chan?" My heart aches when I heard his name from the mouth of our enemy. I held back tears, I didn't want her to know that she had defeated me. She's got Chan all to herself now. She's won.
"Yes..."

A/N: hello...I'm sorry this update was late. I've just been very busy with assignments and stuff from college. I hope you enjoyed this update.

When I was writing Chan's part I cried so much because I was listening to Mixtape 2 and I couldn't take it.
I wrote about Woojin because he may have left SKZ but he is still apart of our family and hasn't left us in that sense.
Writing about Chan being so upset kills me. But then you can't kill something that is already dead. I'm dead.

Anyways thank you for reading and for supporting me. I love you all. Let me know your thoughts. I'll try to upload on time next time. 💕✨💕✨
~ Author-nim

PS: (^Stray Kids won two AAA awards. I'm so proud of them sjsghshssjsndhhs. But Minho is injured. Get well soon sweetie)

PPS: (THE TRAILER CAME OUT AND CHAN LOOKS AMAZING LIKE WTH HE JUST WANTS TO KILL ME ANDBJSSHJSJDJDKKSKS)

Word count: 1869